“I think No.23 was very careful, right? Every one of his moves. He’s very dedicated to dancing. Before I knew it… I marked a check for him. This may be odd coming from me since I was never a good dancer in my days, but I love dancers. They’re always shining and attractive. And if our eyes met, I’m instantly drawn to them. I felt that I wanted to see them again.”
requested: can you also do imagine where y/n is married to shawn and she’s pregnant and she’s on tour with him and before every concert she goes out to fans to give them some tickets 😊 and it’s cute and fluffy ☺ thanks, love you 💖
okay i changed this one just a little bit, it’s not that much but she’s just not on tour with him
NOT LYING I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THE PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS NEEDS TO REQUEST MORE OFTEN BC I LOVE UR IDEAS TY OKAY CARRY ON WITH READING
“guys where’s y/n?” the voice of your probably worried husband could be heard from his dressing room even though he was on the stage doing soundcheck for the show later on. he got no response from his team around him, causing him to worry more. “you left her alone? you guys can’t do that she’s 8 months pregnant!”
you chuckled, knowing he was going to send someone to the dressing room so you could sit in the audience and watch him or something. just so he can see you at all times. ever since you found out you were pregnant, shawn has been almost extra protective. you were surprised you were even allowed at tonight’s show. when you were in the early stages of your pregnancy, you were still allowed to tour with him and go to his shows but once you reached the 6 month mark, you were banned. you had managed to convince him to let you come tonight since it was a show in your hometown, but after a few weeks and a few deals made, he finally let you come. of course, he tried his best to make sure you were never alone just in case you went into labour early which was definitely a possibility. another reason he let you come to tonight’s show was because his family was also going to be attending, and you could stay with them while he was
“somebody go find-” shawn yelled, walking into his dressing room. “oh you’re here. okay never mind everyone i found her!” he came over to your spot on the leather couch, “how are you two?”
“i’m good,” you said, rubbing your giant belly. “she’s good too. she loves the music, she’s been dancing around in there all day.”
“that’s my girl.” shawn smiled, changing into a black short sleeved dress shirt for his q&a that started in about 45 minutes. “she’s gonna be a dancer one day.”
“you mismatched like all the buttons shawn.” you laughed,
nothing that all the buttons he just did were all in the wrong places. “how do you even do that?” slowly, you managed to get up from the couch to help him redo the buttons. you got as close as your stomach would allow to undo all the buttons as shawn just smirked while watching you intently.
“i’m having some sort of déjà vu,” he said. “last time you did this, that happened.” he pointed to your baby bump.
you rolled your eyes, swatting the side of his arm then quickly doing up the buttons. “you’re an idiot.”
“hey,” he raised his hands up in defence. “i’m just saying the truth.”
“all fixed,” you announced, lighting patting his chest. “what would you do without me?”
he shrugged, taking some food from the table that was set up in every one of his dressing rooms. “i wouldn’t be living y/n, my fans would make fun of me too much for not knowing how to do buttons.”
you laughed, taking a peek out the window to see a giant crowd of fans in the distance. you remembered going out into those crowds when you toured with shawn, you had a tradition of giving away tickets to a few fans who had none. of course, you kept it a secret because you didn’t want people to get greedy but you missed doing that.
“hey shawn?” you called, closing the curtains so fans couldn’t look in. you stood in front of his spot on the couch, wrapping your arms around his neck. he looked up at you, his hands grabbing your sides. “did i ever tell you how insanely attractive you are?” you smiled. you knew that if you wanted him to agree, you would have to do some kissing up.
“you want something don’t you?” he narrowed his eyes, not being able to keep a straight face.
“you don’t happen to have any extra tickets lying around do you?”
“y/n,” he sighed. “you can’t go out in that crowd. it’s too dangerous for you and the baby.”
“shawn i used to give away tickets all the time before! please, i’ll be fine i promise.” you begged. you wanted nothing more than to get some fresh air. after being in this stuffy dressing room all day, you were in desperate need.
“y/n, you could go into labour at anytime now! it’s way to dangerous and if i let you go out there and something happens i will never forgive myself.”
“nothing is going to happen shawn, i’ll be careful i promise. i really need some fresh air, i feel like i’m suffocating in here. if you’re really that scared, come with me.”
“if i come with you we’ll for sure get mobbed. i’ll get you some extra tickets.” he sighed, finally giving in because he knows you wouldn’t have stopped until he did. “but, you’re going out with security standing close by and i’m going to be watching. if i see anything that doesn’t look normal, you need to come in.”
you nodded, taking the tickets he handed you. some people would think shawn was being too demanding and overprotective but you know he’s just looking out for you and the baby.
“i’m not trying to be harsh baby,” he said, kissing your forehead. “i just want you to be safe and protected at all times. if anything were to happen at one of these shows i would never be able to live with myself.”
“i understand shawn, trust me. but i’m going to be okay out there, especially with everyone watching my every move. nothing is going to happen.”
“you could go into labour at anytime y/n, your due date isn’t that far away.” he said, cupping the side of your face with his spare hand.
you were due on april 21st and today’s date was april 2nd, meaning you were almost full term and the baby could come at any time but she would be early. you had the slightest feeling she would be late though, motherly instincts i guess.
“babies aren’t always born early shawn. she could come when she’s supposed to come.”
“y/n,” he chuckled. “how early were
“5 weeks early,” you mumbled. “okay i see your point but still, i’m going to be fine you can watch from the window or something.”
he reluctantly handed you one more set of tickets and you were off. “be safe out there!” he called.
you met a security guard at one of the entrances of the arena who allowed you to leave, and another one followed you out. you were happy that he wasn’t right behind you, you needed some space. as soon as the door opened you were relieved that nobody was really paying attention to you. everyone was mostly occupied with their phones or talking to their friends as they waited to get into the arena.
as you walked around for a bit you heard a few mutters of “is that y/n?” or “guys look, it’s y/n.” but thankfully the crowd was calm and hadn’t erupted into screams yet.
you began to feel a large amount of pressure on your stomach which you were used to, but never this intense. you shrugged it off thinking it was just braxton hicks.
you noticed a young girl, probably about 6, and another older teenage girl who looked about 16, and their mom standing further away from the crowd. the two girls were wearing t-shirts with your husband’s face on it, but you had never seen those shirts before. they must not have been official merch shirts. the older girl smiled at you, and you decided to go over and talk to them for a bit.
“hi,” you smiled as you approached them.
“oh wow, hi y/n!” the older girl smiled. “would it be okay if we took a picture?”
you nodded, smiling for a picture with the girl and asking for her name. “i’m alessia, and this is alex.” she said, pointing to her little sister who was standing behind her mom.
“aless, who is this?” her mom stepped in. obviously noticing you were very pregnant, her eyes flickered to your ring finger, obviously looking to see if you were married.
“mom, this is y/n. she’s shawn’s wife, you know that already.” alessia stated like she should already know.
the girls’ mom asked you a few questions about your pregnancy which you were happy to answer. eventually the younger girl came from behind her mothers legs and asked for a picture.
“so,” you started. “are you guys coming to watch the show?”
obviously they just thought you were making casual conversation, but you knew what you were doing.
“no,” alessia sighed. “i wish.”
“i tired my hardest to get them tickets but they were so expensive and money is tight right now.” their mom said. “but they wanted to come stand outside for a bit just incase shawn came outside.”
you sighed, you suggest shawn come outside but you understood why he couldn’t.
“well,” you smiled. “i happen to have some extra tickets if you three would like?”
the two girls nodded eagerly, looking at their mother for permission.
“we could ask you to do this,” she said, shaking her head.
“please,” you handed her three front row tickets. “it’s my gift. take them.” she took the tickets, all three of them thanking you many times.
another sharp pain ran through your body although this time it was more noticeable.
“are you okay?” alessia asked, putting her hand on your arm.
“yeah,” you nodded. “i’m okay. she’s just kicking.” you lied. “anyways, i should probably get going but it was nice meeting you guys. have fun later!”
you met a few more fans, giving them tickets and making them promise they wouldn’t say a word about it. you forgot to tell the first family not to say anything, you really hoped they wouldn’t. as for the pains, they didn’t fade away. in fact, they were getting more intense but you didn’t want to go inside just yet. you were sure everything was fine. the fact that you were in pain was more noticeable now, almost everyone was asking if you were okay. you were sure shawn knew something was going on because at one point even your security guard asked if everything was okay.
you handed the last group of fans some tickets as you felt the sharpest pain followed by a trickle of water going down your leg.
“shit,” you mumbled, noticing that your dress was now soaked with water and there was a small puddle under you. the girls noticed what happened and were definitely all recording you but you didn’t care at this point. you were in too much pain to walk back into the arena and find shawn. you noticed a bunch of people from shawn’s team walking out of the main entrance, followed by your husband. he knew exactly where you were standing so he was at your side immediately. the rest of the team followed close behind, andrew was on the phone with who you hoped was 911 for an ambulance.
“y/n,” shawn said. putting his arm around your shoulder and his other hand on your stomach. “is everything okay?”
“yeah,” you breathed. you assumed you were having a contraction, which would explain the pains you’ve been having all day. “i’m in labour though.”
“what?” shawn practically yelled.
“my water broke,” you motioned to the puddle of water a few feet away. you managed to move a few feet in the time it took for shawn to find you.
“shawn why would i joke about this?”
you felt another contraction hit, while shawn yelled at someone to call an ambulance even though it was already on the way. you could hear the sirens in the distance already.
“holy shit y/n this is really happening!” he exclaimed, kissing the side of your head.
“yeah, 3 weeks early.”
the ambulance pulled up next
to you after a few more
minutes. they helped you onto the gurney and shawn followed behind them.
“let’s go have a baby,” he said as the nurses closed the ambulance doors. “3 weeks early.”
looked yourself over in the mirror, checking for anything that was out
of place. Only a few minutes remained before the leader of your little
troupe would come in and tell you that it was time. You glanced to your
right. The newest girl had joined less than a year ago, but she had
managed to come into her own.
You turned back to your reflection.
It had been a few years since you first started, but your experience was
an advantage. You knew that trying to earn money on the side was a
pointless endeavor. Many of your former coworkers thought that sitting
on laps and pulling man into private rooms would only come with tips.
Every single one of them ended up pregnant and fired from the company.
Your leader only had one rule; anyone that couldn’t do their job would
be fired. Otherwise, everyone was able to do as they pleased. It was
quite a lucrative career when you were one of the favourite dancers.
ladies,” Your boss, a short and plump woman, clapped her hands. She
waited until the room was quiet and all eyes were on her to continue,
“This night is important to us. We are performing for one of the most
exclusive parties in the city. Everyone needs to bring their best. I
normally don’t encourage this, but feel free to make friends.”
fought the urge to scowl. So she was openly endorsing fraternizing with
the audience in order to earn more money. You couldn’t help but wonder
if she was getting greedy and wanted a cut of the profit.
got up, walking with the other women. The sheer material you wore
fluttered behind you. The gold discs on your waist and trailing down
your hips clinked against each other. The newest dancer was whispering
nervously to yourself. You didn’t get nervous anymore. You just did your
job and then took your payment at the end of the night.
party was held in a room lit by candles. Most guests had a glass in
their hands, though you could tell that some of them had been drinking
for hours. Without looking directly at them, you made a mental note of
each man you should avoid as soon as the party ended. It was a common
occurrence for one or two men to follow a dancer as they left in order
to get a bit of private time with them.
You positioned yourself on
the left-hand side of the small stage, waiting for the music to start.
The more eager girls took the front. You almost scoffed. Some thought
that they were going to become famous if the right person saw them
dancing. Others merely wanted more money by taking the spotlight. It
didn’t matter to you. Every dancer was paid the same amount at the end
of the night. Tips were just a perk of the trade. You saved enough money
doing what you did best.
The first note broke your spell. You
began to dance, hips rolling and arms moving slowly and gracefully.
Intricate steps weren’t necessary. All you needed was the right pace and
angles to drive men wild. Your gaze remained on the back wall, your
expression lustful to no one in particular.
As the night
continued, you became aware of a stare that weighed heavily on your
body. It had persisted, even as some of your fellow dancers went out
into the crowd. You used your peripheral vision to try to find who was
so interested in you. Even after so many years, you hated looking at
The man in question was sitting the furthest from
the stage, a glass of something dark in his hand. None of the servers
approached him to refill his glass. He seemed to be languidly sipping
the same drink for the entire night. He was older than you, his temples
dusted with grey, though the rest of his hair was dark. His body was
lean, carrying a certain power as he crossed one leg over the other. A
quiet confidence. Well, he was certainly better than other men that had
been obsessed with you.
You glanced to his face. He was rather handsome, admittedly. His eyes were-
as you blinked, you found it impossible to tear your gaze away from
his. Your heartbeat pounded in your ears. The sound nearly drowned out
the music. The candles seemed dimmer now, like the room itself had
sensed something changing.
You moved to the front of the stage,
descending the small set of stairs that separated you from the rest of
the party. Each step caused the golden discs on your outfit to rattle
softly, though you could barely hear it. The unoccupied men in the front
row moved their hands away from their laps, thinking that you were
going to dance on them. You walked right by, your eyes still locked onto
the man furthest from the stage. The audience was rather small, so he
was sitting in the middle of the room. The way he sat made you wonder if
he owned the building you were standing in. He looked like he owned the
entire city, actually. With the way he was looking at you, it felt like
he had already bought your soul and was simply collecting what was
You stopped in front of him, hips swaying as you
continued to dance. Your hands trailed over your body, missing the
important places by mere inches. Teasing was a part of the job, after
all. You could feel other members of the audience staring at you, but
you paid no attention to them. You were still focused on the man taking
another sip from his drink, his eyes trailing up and down your body.
set his drink down on the table next to him, licking his lips slowly.
He uncrossed his legs. An invitation. Going against everything you
believed in, you accepted it. You straddled him, knees pressed against
the wood on either side of his hips. His hand immediately moved to your
back, resting gently on your skin. You could feel the metal rings he
wore, a bit cold compared to the temperature of the room. You placed
your hands on his shoulders in order to keep yourself steady as you
rolled your hips.
He said nothing. His expression was neutral, but
you could see something lurking in his eyes. Something dark. He merely
allowed you to continue, his hand pulling you just a bit closer.
were you doing? You never did this. You hadn’t touched a member of the
audience in all of your years as a part of the troupe, and now you were
on some man’s lap. But it could ruin things if you got off of him now.
You would have to wait until he grew tired of you or the performance
ended. Then you would have every reason to fluidly slip from his chair
and return to the room saved for the dancers.
He tilted his head
to one side. You kissed him, hands trailing down his chest. The softness
of the material beneath your fingertips told you that his clothes were
expensive. At the very least, he had some sort of title. Even as you
withdrew from the kiss, you wondered why you had done such a thing.
Kissing a member of the audience was frowned upon by most dancers. On
any other day, your boss would have given you an earful. But with such
rich clients, she was making an exception.
His hands slipped
between your bodies, trailing down your stomach before settling between
your legs. He stroked you through your smallclothes, causing your spine
to arch a bit and your fingers to clutch his clothes. Your hands
descended, blindly unbuckling his belt and moving his trousers just
enough to free his cock. You were still focused on his eyes as your
hands returned to his shoulders. He pulled your smallclothes to one
side, exposing you to the cold air. You couldn’t help but shiver. His
other hand grabbed his cock, rubbing it against you.
yourself closer, biting your lip as it began to push into you. He let
go, his palm on your back. He guided your waist. You pressed your lips
together to keep yourself from making noise as he filled you. No one in
the crowd reacted. Your clothes hid everything. The only people aware of
what was truly happening were you and the man you were straddling. You
moved with the music, arms trailing through the air. To everyone else,
it looked like you were just dancing on his lap.
hitched as you continued. He leaned back in the chair, watching you
move. His eyes strayed from yours for a moment, trailing down your body.
Your pace slowed. Why were you doing this? You were supposed to be
dancing on stage, not having sex with him.
His eyes snapped back
up to meet yours, teeth bared in a low growl that rumbled against your
chest. He was getting close. His grip on your waist was almost bruising.
Your hands were almost glued to his shoulders. You can’t fathom letting
him go. Not when he made you feel this good. It didn’t matter if he
came inside of you. You just wanted a bit more time with him. Just a few
more seconds of feeling his body against yours.
warmth pooled inside of you. You kept moving, even as your walls
twitched around him. He leaned toward you, his lips and teeth tracing
over your neck. You bit your lip to keep yourself from making a sound.
You couldn’t get caught. Not now. A familiar melody played. The last
song of the night.
He pulled your body from his, adjusting his
pants and your smallclothes. You could feel droplets of liquid running
down your thighs. You would have to be careful when walking back to the
dressing room. His attention shifted to his glass, lifting it and taking
a slow sip.
Your mind was still fogged from the sex as you stood
and slowly danced your way back to the dressing room with the other
Your mind had cleared completely in days, so you realized quickly that your performance that night had consequences.
first, you had thought that you had contracted some sort of illness.
Nausea plagued you. You were so overwhelmed that you couldn’t dance. You
remained in the dressing room, shivering as you tried to will away your
Within a few moons, you knew that something was wrong.
sat on your bed. Given your reputation in the company, you were allowed
to have your own room. You were thankful for it now that your body had
changed. Your stomach had only a gentle swell at first, but now the
weight rested on your thighs. None of your companions had noticed, but
you knew that it would become obvious with time.
It seemed that
your luck hadn’t run out yet. A new dancer had joined, which caused your
boss to give you some time off while she was trained in the ways of the
troupe. You took the temporary vacation graciously, but it didn’t solve
Your stomach fluttered. You tensed, still not used
to the sensation. You cautiously pressed your palm to your belly. It was
too late to visit a physiker. A witch would only cause you problems.
You couldn’t stay with the company. Once they discovered your pregnancy,
you would be fired. They couldn’t afford to pay dancers that couldn’t
dance. They certainly didn’t want to deal with a fussy child during
You steeled yourself. You decided to leave the
company without a word. You had enough money saved up that you would be
able to rent a small room at a cheap inn until you could rejoin another
dancing troupe. As for your child, you were sure that you could find
someone more than capable of caring for them. You didn’t have the funds
or the time. Your profession required all of your attention, especially
if you were doing solo work for a few months.
You packed up your
things and left. A small town would be the best option, which meant a
short trip by horse. You found one of the main streets. It was rather
dark, even with the many hanging lamps. There were some narrow
alleyways, but you better than to get too close, lest you be robbed at
knifepoint. Given the money you were carrying, you need to stick to the
crowds while keeping an eye on your coin purse. But the early hours of
the morning were approaching. The crowds were dying down considerably.
walking through the main square, it became apparent that no one had a
horse for sale. You would have to renew your efforts in the morning. You
stopped, trying to remember the location of the nearest inn. Your
stomach fluttered once more, harder this time. You winced. You doubted
that you would ever grow accustomed to such a sensation.
creak alerted you to one of the alleyways. A sign was hanging from the
wall. An inn. Your attention shifted to the alley itself. There was a
bend in the path. Someone could be lingering around the corner. Your
gaze fell to the ground. There were hanging lights in the alleyway,
leaving the shadows of the brick and other signs. Even as you cautiously
drew closer, the shadows gave no hint at someone lurking.
strode toward the inn, becoming confident that you wouldn’t be attacked.
You looked down the branching path. There was nothing there. You smiled
a bit. It seemed you would make it to the inn unscathed.
for a room, then trudged up the stairs. The added weight to your womb
made it a bit more difficult, but you managed. You locked the door and
took a deep breath. Your journey seemed to be going smoothly.
“I’ve been looking for you, pet.”
whirled around to face the rest of the room. A man was standing in
front of the window. He took a step forward. Your blood ran cold.
It was the man from that fateful night. Even as he moved closer, the room was bathed in moonlight. Something was wrong with him.
reached back to unlock the door, only for your hand to freeze. You had
made eye contact with him, your body no longer obeying your commands.
Your fingertips were touching the lock, but you couldn’t bring yourself
to move it. Despite the fear in your mind, your body relaxed.
attention strayed to your stomach before he ensnared you with his gaze
once more. He was standing before you now. His hand reached past you,
something on the door snapping. When he withdrew, he was holding the
lock’s latch. He had broken it with strength alone. He crumpled the
latch in his fist, “A good pet doesn’t leave her master, _____.
Especially when she’s carrying her master’s child.”
Wait, when had he-
“Now, you’re going to dance for me.”
“I-I…” It seemed you still talk this time, “I don’t-“
His eyes darkened, your mind instantly fogging, “Take off your dress.”
Author’s Note: Hello! Keira Metz here! This is a bit of a slow start, but I promise much more dark romance to come!
Summary: You always had a crush on Kai, the best dancer of your academy. One day his dance partner injures her leg and you’re picked to replace her for a very important tango performance. The problem is: you only have one week to learn the choreography, and Kai is not there to play games. Or is he?
Today was the first day training with him. His dance partner had injured her leg and they had an important performance in a tango competition, so you had to fill in her spot. The problem was: not only did you not know the choreography, but tango wasn’t really the type of dance you were the best at. You were better at dances like the waltz or the slow foxtrot which were more graceful and classical and not sexy.
You were very nervous not only because he was the very best dancer at SM academy, with international recognition, but also because he was really hot. You kind of always had a crush on him, as did everyone in the academy who liked men, but you never could really talk to him. He was so beautiful that he kind of became intimidating sometimes.
A prodigy dancer with no formal ballet training, slightly dorky and clumsy, but a LOT of grace and talent when she really tries. Hopes to live up to the reputation of her mother, has big shoes to fill. Lands the roll of the Dewdrop Fairy, dances the Waltz of the Flowers. Tries to impress those skeptical of her, especially Weiss, whom she thinks is very pretty.
Raised from birth in the art of ballet, and it shows. Her family puts a lot of pressure on her to land starring role of Clara in the Nutcracker, instead receives the part of the Snow Queen in the Waltz of the Snowflakes. Is very judgmental of Ruby for gaining a solo dance role despite her childish demeanor, but still finds her somehow appealing.
Artful and graceful ballerina, not incredibly talkative. Makes friends with Ruby, Weiss, and Yang though. No one is really sure where or even if she's been formally trained. Plays a snowflake alongside Weiss. Professes a deep adoration for Andrew Lloyd Webber's CATS. Might enjoy tea in more ways than one.
Ruby's older sister, a highly energetic, flirtatious, and not entirely subtle dancer who can still show talent and poise on stage. Slightly temperamental when provoked. Dances in the Chinese Tea dance. Has eyes for a certain secretive snowflake.
Comes from a long line of male ballet dancers, most of whom have been the titular Nutcracker Prince. Not a very good dancer, but gosh if he doesn't try. Totally lied about his past performing experience to get the role of the Nutcracker, but the theatre director saw potential and let him stay. Is trained after hours by Pyrrha. Ends up doing great.
World renowned ballerina, very lonely in person. Much like canon Pyrrha, it's a lonely life at the top of the world. She of course gets the part of Clara, and does phenomenally at it. Falls for her co-star Jaune, who confides in her about his lack of talent and asks her to help him learn how to dance so he won't ruin the show. She does, and shares her own tale of how isolating it is to be seen as an untouchable icon of beauty and grace, with no one really wanting to be her friend for who she is underneath the costumes. No one except him. They of course get together, because you spend enough time ballet dancing with someone, you start to catch feelings. Not even Jaune is that stupid. Also makes friends with Nora and Ren.
An energetic little lady, and a surprisingly skillful ballerina. Plays the Sugar Plum Fairy, because it makes her Queen of the land, and does the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy VERY well. Is head over heels for her 'cavalier' Ren.
Plays the Sugar Plum Fairy's Cavalier with considerable skill. Has known Nora all their lives, and has danced with her enough times to know he loves her. A quiet guy in general, but he gets along with his 'queen', and is friends with Jaune and Pyrrha.
Theatre Director Ozpin:
Once a well known dancer, known for playing the Nutcracker in his day, which despite his appearance really wasn't so long ago. Now runs the Beacon Theatre Production Company out of the Vale Opera House. A bit eccentric and mysterious.
Assistant Director Goodwitch:
Former Clara to Ozpin's Nutcracker, she has stuck by him for most of their lives and now helps him run the Beacon. Much more strict and orderly than her boss, but also kind and maternal at times. Might have formerly been in Wicked.
Was a celebrated ballerina famous for playing the Sugar Plum Fairy. Sadly deceased.
Taiyang Xiao Long:
Also a former performer, met Summer during her time as the SP Fairy. He was Mother Ginger.
Another former performer, she was a Chinese tea dancer back in the day. Then she became disillusioned with performing and left. Actually had Yang with Tai, was his first wife. Left Yang in his care when she went off on her own.
Back when he wasn't a full-blown alcoholic, played Herr Drosselmeyer. To this day, no one know how he managed to look so much like an owl without makeup. Helped raise Ruby and Yang, and assists running the theatre co. as a favor to Ozpin.
I regret giving up ballet
giving up the chance to learn how to dance
now that the music is finally here,
walked in and broke my silence
and my ribs
my ribs, they started playing like a vintage piano
grand but humble
their ivories tickling my side just enough
to remind me I can still feel love
smitten and soft
like that sincere hello
I havent spoken in years
taped on the roof of my mouth,
my tongue beginning to learn how to write
the letters that I actually mean to give to you
the truth my chicken scratch penmanship will unveil
behind every ending sentence I held on the side of my cheek
because these days I find myself in search of a better word
a better sound, and my body
all she wants to do is paint the air with gestures,
as if the way our movement fills every empty space, writes our names in cursive on the face of time so much that astronauts call home
Just to say they can see how happy you’ve made me
all the way from Space
And not even space is enough distance to cover how long I promise to
keep you safe in the wells of my collarbones
out of two hundred and six, the bone I am most afraid to break
Lies above my chest
And just beneath my head,
afraid because somedays I find my fingers tracing its curve
and I realize how eager I am to break it for absolutely no reason at all,
Afraid because if I do, I’d know what it’s like to collapse like a marionnette
unable to breathe, to stand,
to bend myself into a shape that looks like me
I wonder how you see me
I know I dont look much like a dancer,
some days I imagine I resemble flowers more than people,
like Snowdrops swaying in some secret garden,
some unknown patch of good, tucked away only for people like you to find
but I know not everyone choose to step off the trail
and I wonder if I’m any good at all
There is a German legend, about Snowdrops
Where god sent snow to find flowers and ask them to share their colours
One by one they all said no, except for her, little pearlescent thing,
She agreed and in exchange Snow decided only she could bloom
in His prescence, first in every cold spring,
Cheerful and warm
Wrapped in his white blanket
Sometimes snowdrops and snow reminds me of us
They day you asked me to watch them fall in love
on our lunch break and you held the door for me
and asked if I was cold
For a moment I felt like the snowdrop,
cared for, loved
in the presences of my snow
smiling next to me,
Then I felt like the snow,
Relieved to have found someone willing to share with me
their heart, their favorite season
and this moment,
in vivid colours
I never knew winter could be anything but bleak
but here you are proving to me the colour
white is anything but blank
that it has veins that carries endless hues
I can compare my blushes to
I regret giving up ballet
because here the snow is falling
in sync to the melody the snowdrop is swaying to
If you listen close enough
there is music in the air, a song
Winter is playing just for us
I wonder if I should ask you to dance
If we do, I’d let you lead,
but only if you’ll let me fall in love with you