• Not allowed to threaten anyone with his spots
  • Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of his spots by making them dance
  • Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of reports involving Captain Carrot
  • Not allowed to form any militia 
  • Not allowed to train adopted dogs to “kiss Carrot!”
  • May not call Lord Vetinari immoral, untrustworthy, lying slime even if he’s right
  • Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once 
  • The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?” 
  • The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, so I was just trying on this lingery, sexual lubrication, barking up Carrot’s tree, slut puppy, or any references to squid 
  • May not make posters depicting the leadership failures of Sergeant Colon 
  • He is in need of a more suitable host body 
  • A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield 
  • The Tanty is not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new prisoners that it is 
  • Cannot arrest children for being rude
  • Shouting “Let’s burn the village! Let’s burn the whole fucking village!” is bad
  • We do not “charge into battle, naked, like the Barbarian Boys at the Mended Drum”
  • We also do not sidle naked.
  • We especially do not mention the time Captain Vimes had to leave the Mended Drum naked because it didn’t happen, did it, Nobby?
  • Should not confess to crimes that took place before during his employment

I love this idea X33333


  • gives lots of hugs 
  • often says how cute the sibling is 
  • Satsuki would protect you 
  • the first person to go to when you’re sad 
    • may or may not show you cute animal videos 
  • tries to bake treats for you (beware!!) 


  • would help with homework 
  • gives good advice 
    • especially study and health tips
  • do not bother him! especially when he’s working 
    • he gets annoyed easily, but forgives you when he’s done
  • would be willing to give you music lessons


  • would probably teach you the Agnapolis dance
  • not the person to ask for help 
  • willing to listen to your music and give pointers on how to improve
  • likes playing board games with you 
  • gets you souvenirs from places he has gone on tour 


  • gives dating advice
  • would give you a ride if you needed one 
  • don’t date his little sister unless you’re serious 
    • If you break her heart, Ren’s coming for you
    • but before that’d he would do his best to cheer you up 
  • helps pick out the outfit for formal events 


  • would teach you how to play guitar 
  • would never leave you out of an activity 
  • very encouraging and supportive 
  • likes playing video games with you 
    • lets the younger sibling win every once in a while (until they grow older) 


  • jumps to the rescue (especially if it’s a little sister) 
  • plays with you whenever he has time 
    • especially sports 
  • probably weak to the ‘puppy-eyes’  
  • gives fashion tips and examples from magazines 
  • he understands the way of the fandom 

Masato (who actually is an older brother!) 

  • very protective 
  • probably tells you to clean your room (he really just wants the best for you.)
  • gives good advice 
  • would sing to help comfort you 
  • gets annoyed easily when he’s working as well 

the sky turns dead gray

the veil thinner 

i wrap the fog

around me 

like a shroud


spoken aloud


in a town

known for it’s sound

half the world away






notes - stole a line from 8 miles high sorta (poetic license on loan - or maybe just a learners permit) and a line from myself