Judging from the way she behaves these days, do you think the Zieglers and Abby had a falling out or do you think they never liked her and were simply in it for the long con?
Say what you want about PR reps requiring you to keep your distance from a problematic figure, but the way the Zieglers are behaving toward Abby don’t feel like something they’re doing purely for their career.
Bree gets drunk and recaps “Dance Moms” Season 1 Episode 1, HOLD ON TO YOUR FUCKING BUTTS
Let’s do this okay so
The intro montage is SO. FUCKING. DRAMATIC. Which is funny because this season was so downright tame compared to future seasons.
Oh Cathy, what beautiful times we had.
Lol remember when it was “the” nationals?
I’ve never quite been able to figure out if Holly is 8 feet tall or if everyone else in Pittsburgh is a hobbit.
This season was so low-rent in terms of backdrops and stuff, it’s also clear why they provide that wardrobe budget because the moms used to dress SO much more plain.
Season 1: ESTABLISHING SHOT ESTABLISHING SHOT ESTABLISHING SHOT
Nia’s outfit is so adorably corporate, girl is gonna be a CEO someday.
Abby’s whole “I. Produce. Stars. I produce employable dancers” schtick always sounded like such a snake oil salesman.
I wonder if Abby hastily threw together her wall of crooked portraits in Walmart frames for the camera crew, or it they’ve always been there and she’s just a shit decorator. Either way, lol.
You can tell things have gotten nuts because Abby seems downright sweet in Season 1.
I CANNOT HANDLE HOW TINY THEY ARE.
I’m preeeeeetty sure all the red/orangey “You must win or else your parents will abandon you and you will have to sell your liver on the street for food money” signs in the studio were just put there to make Abby seem a lot scarier than she was because honestly she seems so tame at this point.
Kelly’s Kate Gosselin haircut :\
I miss Normal Holly.
Melissa’s facial expressions remind me of a newborn baby learning to make facial expressions for the first time.
Everyone’s names are so obnoxiously 21st Century Competitive Dancer.
Melissa’s whole “my girls are like little dolls” thing, omg they were so trying to make this show Toddlers and Tiaras.
The first season’s interviews were so poorly cobbled together.
Melissa is such an odd duck, gleefully admitting that her divorce isn’t final yet but her new boyfriend pays her dance bills.
With a huge smile: “IT’S ABOUT THE KIDS!” :D omg so creepy.
“Those legs are as straight as Elton John” so clearly put in in post production and a bad attempt at seeming edgy.
BABY CHLOE <3
With the emphasis on Chloe’s titles I sometimes wonder if they could have easily edited Season 1 to make Chloe look like the favourite.
Christi’s “but don’t tell my husband” what a shitty scripted line, like okay we won’t tell your husband just tell a TV crew.
OMG Nia just chilling on the floor lying down like a corpse while the kids are dancing in the background I can’t stop watching
Oh yes the rehearsals from Electricity being disguised as Party Party Party
Because we have to establish the whole “Maddie is a perfectionist” storyline in the first episode.
The scene where she goes back into the studio is so frighteningly intense.
Oh goodness the music for the MT trio just punch me in the fucking boobs how annoying.
“I’d rather be the one who makes your child cry in the privacy of my studio in stead of crying in front of 800 people at an open audition.” Okay well have fun making ‘em cry on national TV you daft woman.
I MISS PERPETUALLY MISERABLE BROOKE
Aww sweet normal Kelly
Brooke and Paige’s intro is so awkward. “Brooke wins everything ever, and also Paige has a lovely personality.” Poor Paige.
Paige has gotten so much more comfortable around the camera.
BROOKE GIVES NO FUCKS.
Normal Holly, we hardly knew ye
Has Nia just been trolling us all from Day 1
I love you.
OH SHIT IT’S VIVI
Is it just me or has Vivi, like, not evolved since she was six?
THIS KID IS SO FUNNY I forgot how funny she was.
“Carrots go hand in hand with bunnies.” The fact that Cathy exists, just, like, has gotten me through so much shit.
“I don’t want people to think I’m Vivi’s grandmother.” I mean at first blush it’s hard to tell Cathy’s related to Vivi at all.
Cathy is a pretty good actress considering the whole “Hi Abby I do not know you at all” scene was staged as hell. Damn this woman’s brand of crazy is special.