dan looks like he's sitting on phil's lap

Lead Role (Phan Smut)

Summary: Pastel!Dan get’s the role in the school’s production of Alice in Wonderland and Punk!Phil shows him just how proud he is.

Warnings: Smut, Daddy!Kink, no specified ages but Dan is younger and they’re in HS. 

A/N - Send in prompts guys! i enjoy smut on occasion but i definitely prefer to write fluff, idk why<3

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suspicioushowell  asked:

Favourite phan moment? I have too many to count.

omg ok, this is gonna be a long one *rolls up her metaphorical sleeves*

first things first: i’m all for heart-eyes howell and there have been quite a few of those especially in the last two years, i’ll start with some v soft ones:

Originally posted by lovlester

1. what is this??? why are they sitting so close to each other??? it almost looks like dan is on phil’s lap??? and THE STARING FFS he’s so fond??? im. not. okay.

Originally posted by pinofphanpage

2. [that guy from vine’s voice] what the FUCK is up dan?? 
he’s EATING HIM WITH HIS EYES !!!!!!
he stares at him, then he stares at his lips then he quickly glances at the camera and then at this point you think “there he is, he knows he fucked up and he’s going to laugh it off now” but nO???? HIS EYES GO BACK TO PHIL??? W H A T

Originally posted by theknightofw4nds

3. this one. this one breaks my heart. it’s the fondness, you know? it’s the cutest thing i’ve ever seen, damn that whole ditl is fULL of cute moments, it was a true blessing

4. another fave is them staring at each other for a couple of second during “i won’t give up” and the realising they’re literally live on bbc radio 1′s website lol

Originally posted by wavy-em

5. omg this one is so pure?? they’re so smiley and happy and slightly drunk and they look so married fUCK

Originally posted by exisentialdan

6. this one was so domestic and pure and i’m so happy they decided to leave it in the video

i literally could go on forever but for everyone’s sake i’ll stop here lol

Hidden Behind Straightened Hair

Hidden Behind Straightened Hair | The fives times Dan’s hair was used as a joke to hide his insecurity about his sexuality, and the one time it wasn’t.| Phan | PG-13 | Homophobia, Bi-Erasure, 2012 Scenario’s, Curly hair/Straight jokes | 5,304 Words

Massive thank you to @ineverhadmyinternetphase​ for quite literally letting me force her to read over my shoulder the entire time I worked on this, and her endless support of both my take on 2012 events, and bi-erasure.

Honestly guys, this is the thing I am currently the most proud of ever having written, so please let me know what you think <3 I’m literally shaking as I post this. 

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Picking Daisies, Picking People

Pairing: Daniel Howell & AmazingPhil (Phan)

Genre: Fluff, Pastel!Dan/Punk!Phil

Word Count: 1100

Summary: Dan has an obsessions with flowers. Phil can’t understand it. And so, Dan plans to explain in only the best way possible. 

Author Note: Shoutout to @pantsudan for the incredibly sweet prompt

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Third Time's the Charm

For the anon who wanted overstimulation and edging. Sorry I didn’t do too much edging for Dan, I edged Phil a few times, but you know.

Word count: 1.9k+

Genre: sin, smut, very small amount of fluff to make up for the fluff overload in my last work lol.

Tags/Warnings: praise kink, dan calls Phil master/sir, no daddy kink, bondage(light), overstimulation, edging, dan cums three times and I really love the title of this, Phil has the mouth of a sex god, riding, rimming (ass eating hehe, ball sucking, handjob, blowjob, vibrator, it starts kinda domestic, mention of 18 year old dan, they love each other, established relationship, I love consent, Dan’s a minx, panties, cock rings, teasing maybe not really though, cum inside, bareback, consensual unprotected sex, nothing really else, someone please give me more ways to say “hole” I’m???

| THIRD TIMES THE CHARM |

Dan stood in their kitchen, humming to the radio in the corner blasting some new pop hit, when Phil came up from behind him. His lips pressed soft, open mouthed kisses to Dan’s neck just below his ear, before he whispered, “Do you think you can cum three times in a row?” Dan’s hands shook and he put the plate he was washing down in the sink, turning around in Phil’s arms to face him.

“I don’t know. I’ve only ever cum twice in a row. Why?” He replied, curious as to where Phil was going with this.

Phil leaned in to nibble Dan’s earlobe between his teeth, growling and pushing himself closer to Dan, connecting their hips for just a moment, before pulling away completely, drawing a whine from Dan at the loss of contact. “‘Cause, I’m gonna get you to cum three times in a row tonight if it’s the last thing I do.” Releasing Dan from his grip, he turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Dan with wobbly knees, leaning against the counter until he composed himself.

That night a little after dinner, Dan and Phil were cuddled on the couch when Dan remembered what Phil had said to him that morning. With a smirk and a stirring in his crotch, he pulled himself into Phil’s lap, “What was it that you promised me, sir?”

Phil hummed, “Go to the bedroom, strip, stretch yourself, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Be in position.”

“Yes, sir.” He hopped off Phil’s lap, walking quickly, head bowed submissively to the ground, to the bedroom.

Phil growled watching his ass in those fucking lacey panties Dan liked to wear around the house, jiggling obscenely. “Fucking hell,” he whispered to himself, standing up and going to their storage room, where he’d put the supplies necessary for tonight in a box. He’d been planning this for a while.

After finding and retrieving the items, he looked at his phone seeing that 8 minutes had passed.

He went back to the living room, sitting down and keeping an eye on the wall clock, hearing Dan’s whorish moans floating down the hall to his ears, making his cock twitch in its confines. When the time had run up, and it’d been quiet in the bedroom for a minute, Phil stood, walking quietly to the door, opening it to find Dan on his knees, head bowed and hands clasped behind his back.

“Up on the bed, come on now. You look so good for me, did you stretch enough?”

“Yes, sir.”

“My good boy, hmm?” Phil lifted his hand to Dan’s cheek, looking at him all spread open for him, “Fucking delectable, Christ Dan, i’m gonna fuck you till you can’t walk.” Dan mewled, nuzzling his face into Phil’s hand, his own hands were twitching, wanting to touch; himself, Phil, anything.

Phil pulled back, stripping himself and grabbing the box that he’d set on the bedside table with one hand, the other wrapped around his lust heavy cock, eyes drinking up the breathtaking picture of Dan, so vulnerable for him, surrendering to whatever Phil wanted to do to him. My god was the list of things Phil wanted to do to Dan was impressively long.

Phil took his eyes off Dan, pulling the rope from the small box, smirking when he saw Dan shiver in his peripheral vision, he quirked an eyebrow at Dan, “Ok?” Dan nodded eagerly, body covered in chills, “Use your works, Daniel.”

Phil’s stern, demanding voice caused Dan’s hips to involuntarily buck, “Yes, master.”

“That’s better.” Silently, Phil unpackaged the rope, walking to the side of the bed and softly grabbing Dan’s wrist, tying it carefully and securely to the headboard, repeating this process with the other arm. “You look so good like this.” He stared for a moment in appreciation. Shaking his head, he spoke, “How do you feel, Dan? Anything too tight?” He made sure to talk softly, knowing from the fogged over look in Dan’s eyes that he was in subspace already.

“No, master. Feel so good.” Phil knew Dan loved having control taken away from him completely in the bedroom, that’s what gave him this idea, tonight’s activities give Phil full and complete control over Dan; his orgasms, his pleasure, and his body.

“Good boy.” Turning around Phil grabbed the small remote controlled virbrator from the box, carefully unpackaging it and coating it in lube, he climbed onto the bed tapping Dan’s thigh so Dan would spread them open. Pushing the vibrator inside Dan, he watched as his hole welcomed the toy, nearly sucking it inside before closing behind it when the toy had fully sunken inside. They both groaned in unison, Dan cock was already leaking as Phil switched the toy on to its lowest setting. He slipped a finger into Dan, adjusting the toy in the direction of Dan’s g-spot, he knew he’d found it before Dan even made a sound, sometimes it was like he knew Dan’s body better than his own.

Crawling off the bed, Phil reached into the box again and pulled out a cockring, slipping it onto himself before joining Dan again, and beginning to pump his cock, watching Dan squirm. It only took Dan around ten minutes before his hips were stuttering in the air, eyes glossy, cum stringing onto his chest. Phil wasn’t angry at him for cumming, Dan knew Phil let him cum when he wanted unless he was told specifically not to, but he wasn’t done with Dan yet.

Smiling softly, he switched to vibrator off, watching as Dan’s body immediately went lax, Phil didn’t waste time in slowly crawling up Dan’s body, planting wet kisses here and there as he went, before reaching his lips and kissing him sweetly for a few moments. “How do you feel, sugar?”

Dan’s eyes flickered open, breath leaving his mouth in soft, warm pants, “Good, sir.”

“That’s my boy.” Phil began to slither his way back down to Dan’s softening cock, still twitching from his recent orgasm. He grasped is firmly, tugging on it with intent, listening to Dan’s already overstimulated driven whimpers.

Phil’s hand returned to his own cock and before long Dan’s hips were bucking off the bed, but Phil put weight against them and shot Dan a look that got him to try and keep himself as still as he could. To show his satisfaction with how good Dan’s been, Phil moved his head to nuzzle his face just above where his hand was still tugging Dan’s cock, kissing down till his lips reached Dan’s clean shaven balls. His eyes looked up to watch Dan helplessly tug at his restraints, hair stuck to his damp, reddened face.

Returning his full attention to the task at hand, or rather, mouth, Phil sucked one of Dan’s balls into his mouth, hand still working his length, and began using his tongue to twirl around the testicle, he could feel it pulsing inside his mouth. With one last suck, he released Dan’s ball from his mouth, and began licking his way past Dan’s perineum, letting his tongue find Dan’s hot, wet hole. The tight ring of muscle twitched delightfully around Phil’s prodding tongue, causing Phil to release his member in fear of an empty orgasm. Phil began to eat Dan out in earnest, licking inside of him, he suctioned his mouth around Dan’s entrance, tongue fucking him at the same time.

All this pushed Dan over the edge, Phil had gotten so lost in his task that he’d almost missed it, but he could feel it, Dan clenched around his tongue, body shaking with his release, legs flailing for just a moment. When Phil was sure he’d worked Dan through his orgasm, he looked up to see Dan, tears streaming down his face, chest red and blotchy, eyelashes clinging to his cheeks, and extracted himself from Dan, reaching up to untie Dan’s wrist, they were red and scratched up from all the tugging Dan and done, in vain might Phil add, letting his hands drop onto the bed.

Phil was surprised when he heard Dan’s airy, bubbly laugh from beneath him. He looked down at Dan, “What’s so funny?”

“You’re just so fucking good with that mouth of yours. I swear you just gave me the most intense orgasm of my life to date.

Phil laughed, “I’m glad to hear it. You all good?”

“Yes, sir. You’re still gonna make me cum a third time, aren’t you?” Dan smirked.

“Can you handle it?” Phil reached his hands towards Dan’s face, letting his finger swipe up a tear from his cheek, “Looks like you’ve really hit your breaking point, my love.”

Hastily, Dan shook his head, “No, master. Please, please I want it.” Phil chuckled.

“Well if you want it that bad, come and get it.” Phil was laying on his back, hand toying with his own length, when Dan realized Phil wanted him to ride himself on Phil’s cock till he came.

Dan scrambled onto Phil’s hips, cock already semi hard again, Phil could swear Dan had superpowers, what with his having the same libedo of the 18 year old Dan Phil had met on the internet all those years ago. Without hesitation, Dan lifted himself up on shaky thighs, gripping Phil’s cock to stand it straight up, and sunk himself down to the base of Phil’s cock.

Phil nearly choked with the amount of air that rushed out of him, “Oh fucking hell, Dan, you’re hole is so fucking good on my cock.”

Dan whined at the praise, lifting himself up till only the red, plump head of Phil’s cock breached his suckling canal, before slamming himself back down, ripping an inhumane sound from Phil. He bounced with intent, back arching to make Phil’s thick shaft hit that lovely spot inside himself, before his thighs felt like jello, and he collapsed forward onto Phil’s slick chest.

Without missing a beat, Phil fixed his hips in the right position, fucking into Dan with a ferocity he didn’t know he possessed until just now. When Phil heard Dan’s breathing accelerate, moans becoming whimpers, hands gripping his biceps menacingly, he quickly slipped out of Dan, pulled the cock ring off, and pushed himself back inside of Dan, hands gripping a handful of Dan’s and pulling them apart to gain some leverage to fuck into Dan’s tightness. After a few thrusts, Phil felt Dan let go, barely anything spurting from his inflamed, overstimulated cock, a cry leaving his lips. Dan’s clenching muscle, sent him over the edge, but his hips wouldn’t bother to stop their wild thrusts, body unwinding from holding onto his orgasm for so long.

Eventually, Phil’s hips stuttered to a stop, lungs burning, he pulled out, his length coated in his own cum as well as Dan’s juices.

Neither of the two felt the need to move from where they were, Phil cradling an extremely pliant Dan to his chest. Dan nuzzled into Phil’s chest, “I guess you can make me cum three times in a row after all.” Dan’s words were heavy, whispered into Phil’s ear, with a tiny hint of amusement behind his tone, but mostly just awe.

Phil hummed, “I guess you really could handle it.”

Lazy, open mouthed missed placed on the nearest body part of the other were the silent ‘I love you’ before they both fell into the longest and deepest slumber of their lives.

If only their neighbors felt that good about their sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Please send me prompts and nice messages and yeah that’s all :) tell me what you thought, hopefully you liked. :)))))

anonymous asked:

Inocent neko!dan with bells on bows roundhis tale and neck is a gift for phil from his mum as shes worried he's alone and just fluff perhaps smut

Roommate- Part 1

Phil sighed. This was the third time his phone had gone off this morning. Whoever it was must’ve needed something important. He put down his work and picked up the phone, trying not to let his irritation get to him.

“Hello?”

“Phil!”

It was his mother. Why would she be calling him so early on a Friday? She knows he has work this early…

“Sorry to be calling you this early, I know you have work. I was just wondering what time you’d be coming home from work today?”

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30 Kisses for 30 Years

summary: It’s Phil’s thirtieth birthday and Dan is determined to give him thirty kisses. Meanwhile, Phil’s been having domestic thoughts. 
word count: 2, 735
warnings: innuendos, kissing, making out, hickeys, so much fluff that you’ll die

Phil could feel something crawling under his skin when he woke up that morning.

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A Year in the Life of Dan and Phil // A Phan One-Shot

Genre: fluff, domestic fluff, family fluff, parent!Phan 

Words: 5.1k

Relationship status: married

Warnings: none 

Summary: YouTube Notification: LessAmazingPhil just uploaded a video: “A Year in the Life of Dan and Phil”.

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Parents!

Request: Phan comes out and adopt a baby.

Word Count: 710

Comments: Thanks for requesting!! I hope you like it!

Originally posted by danisnotonfiretm



“Hello Internet.” Dan’s  voice wasn’t as spunky as it usually was. He looked away from the camera. “No…” He whispered before trying his intro over again. Something about what he was saying, just sounded sad. He felt happy. He knew admitting this to the world would make him feel better. Of course he’s bisexual, he had admitted it before. 

“Hello Internet.” he gave a casual smile, as if he were looking at someone he knew from school, but didn’t want to actually speak. “So, I’ve got something to admit.” He whispered in the camera. 

No matter how many times he tried to get this right, it wasn’t working. He was going to start crying. He felt like he would burst into the tears, if he spoke one more thing. 

“Phil means a lot to me… I know most people are going to get excited, and others are gonna call me out on this. Phil-” His eyes glossed over and he felt a single stream of a hot tear run down his cheek. “Phil and I have been watching this kid… No, I shouldn’t lie.” By this point he had completely broken down. He broke out into little sobs, choking over his own words. “He and I…” He choked up again. “Phil!” he called out, to which Phil hurried in. 

Phil opened his door and stepped inside, “What’s wrong?” He asked, sounding worried. He saw him crying in front of the camera, and smiled softly. He knew what this was about. they had been talking about it for a while. “Emma?” He asked, seeing a girl no younger older than four walk in slowly. 

Dan heard Emma’s name and let himself smile a bit. He looked over, “Come over here, and let’s show you to all my friends.” he said, and opened up his arms to her. 

Emma grinned and rushed over, climbing up his leg on the chair, and sitting in his lap. “Where are dey?” She asked, looking up at him. 

Phil walked over beside them slowly. “Danny meant, show you in like a message to all our friends.” He chuckled and leaned down, kissing the top of her head gently.

Dan smiled at the four year old and wiped his tears softly. She was so innocent and precious. He kept her a secret for so long because he didn’t want her to be exposed to the world like both her dads were. “Smile big into the camera, and introduce yourself.” 

Emma smiled and looked at the camera in front of them. Her bright blue eyes lit up as she gave a toothy grin. Light brown hair framed her face, in a somewhat curly bob. She was dressed in a frilly black and pink dress, with a princess tiara on. “Hewwo! My name is Emma Howeww Wester!” She said, “I’m four, and dees are my daddies!” She raised her arms high above her head to point at her dads. 

Phil’s eyes watched the girl, who was so innocent and pure. “We’ll have to work on those ‘L’s’, huh?” He smiled at the girl, paying no mind to the camera, so he wouldn’t cry. 

Dan smiled and sniffled up the goop in his nose, shaking his head. “Aren’t they cute?” He mumbled, glancing from Emma to Phil. 

The two had been together for a long time now, but they had only had Emma for about a year now. Ever since then, they’ve been the happiest they’ve ever been, even though it was hard trying to keep her a secret. 

Phil smiled back at Dan and kissed his Temple. “I’m going to let her eat her lunch now. Finish up your video and come join us, yeah?” he smiled. 

“Yeah.” Dan repeated and smiled lovingly at his boyfriend. He looked back down at Emma, “Make sure Philly doesn’t do anything dumb.” He chuckled, as she gave a giggle and ran off letting Phil chase her. 

Dan looked back at the camera. “Surprise.” he chuckled and turned off the camera. he didn’t bother editing it. Instead he just uploaded it the whole thing. Not a single moment was wasted. He turned off his phone and set it next to his laptop, and got up to go enjoy lunch with Emma and Phil.

The walk-in

Pairing: Dan Howell x reader, reader x Phil Lester (platonic)

Genre: Tiny bit of fluff, but def mostly smut

Word count: 2.537

You had always been good friends with Phil Lester, and when he befriended Dan Howell back in 2009, you instantly became his friend to. But not long after you had to move to London for a job in the finance department of a big firm. A few years went by, where you didn’t see Dan and Phil very often. You only saw Phil on holidays, when you went home to your family in Rawtenstall. But when Phil happily announced to you, that himself and Dan would be moving into an apartment together in Manchester, you had to visit them. But that was the only time you saw them in a year, until they – much to your excitement – moved to London in the summer of 2012. From then your friendship picked up from where you left it.

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all our friends want us to fall in love

genre: cute fluff

words: 3k

summary: Every time Dan and Phil make a new friend, they always struggle to figure out whether they are dating or they’re just really good friends. Or, Dan and Phil’s relationship, as seen by three people.

a/n: yes, that is indeed a Panic! at the disco reference in the title. and look I know Jack is not their friend (yet) but he has said he’d love to collab with them so I’ll keep hoping. Besides I just wanted to write him. School is tough. Sorry for the lack of fics.

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I Know You’re So Pretty

Summary: Blind!Dan and Phil go out to a bar and Dan gets horny when he’s drunk.

TW: alchohol, violence (a girl slaps dan), food mention

Word Count: 3k

Genre: fluff and smut

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The Look Of Love

Prompt: Okay so I’ve had this prompt in my head for months now and I really like your writing so could you maybe do dom!punk!phil who basically wants to have sex with pastel!dan all the time because he can’t get enough of him (established relationship) thank you!

Author’s note: I hope this is close to what you had in mind!<3  (1.6k words)  Anyways, I’ll keep naming my fics after 80s songs until my ears fall off from all the synth ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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anonymous asked:

Omfs more Mafia!Phil and Pet!Dan like shiiiit mate

!!!!!!!

Please bear in mind I did not write the first one, which you can find here, which explains the situation and is like,,, the best hc ever? Just sayin

~Nothing was added because I felt it had to be~

Another long af one

——–

- Phil rarely goes anywhere without Dan at his side, and he never leaves Dan in the office alone. While Phil’s office is protected, it’s a target for any of his enemies. Today, Phil had to rush out in an emergency, and didn’t have time to take Dan home, so Dan’s waiting in there with orders not to leave. Dan knows what can happen if he disobeys, so he stays. After a little while, Dan gets bored and starts to jerk off. He runs his thumb over the head and whimpers, trying to keep quiet. If anyone catches him and tells Phil… well, suffice to say there’ll be consequences.

-Soon, just stroking his cock isn’t enough, so Dan’s other hand reaches behind him to start fucking his plug in and out. It barely brushes his prostate, like Dan’s teasing himself, even though he’s already reaching the point of desperation to come. It’s not enough, and Dan is getting frustrated, to the point where he can’t help but let out long, desperate whines.

-The door opens quietly, and Dan doesn’t see it happen because he has eyes shut and head tipped back in pleasure, full on moaning now. One phrase makes Dan freeze and open his eyes. “What are you doing, pet?”

-”N-nothing, Daddy,” Dan stammers, moving to sit with his legs crossed and his hands folded in his lap. Phil raises an eyebrow and shuts his office door, stepping over to Dan and standing in front of him.

-”Doesn’t look like nothing,” he drawls. “If you’re dishonest, things will get much worse for you.” Dan mumbles something incoherent. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

-Slowly, Dan looks up. “I was touching myself. Thought about you while I was doing it, Daddy.”

- “How should I punish you?” Phil muses. “Maybe I should edge you, maybe overstimulate you?” Before Dan can answer, Phil goes over to office chair and gestures for Dan to come over, and grabs Dan, throwing him over Phil’s lap once he’s within reach. Phil bends over to whisper in Dan’s ear. “I’m going to punish you, and you’ll take it silently, like a good boy, won’t you?”

-”Yes, daddy.”

-”Good.”

- Phil pulls his phone and texts for a few minutes, ignoring Dan, ruffling Dan’s hair whenever the boy gets restless, and after what feels like an eternity, spanks Dan, hard, making the brunette jerk against Phil’s thigh, biting back a yelp at the sudden impact and friction he got from the movement of his hips against Phil’s slacks. Immediately afterward, there’s a knock at Phil’s office door. “Come in,” Phil calls, smoothing his palm over the hand print on Dan’s ass. Two men Dan recognizes as Phil’s contacts with the British Government. Both of them stare at Dan, who raises his head to look at them. “No,” Phil chastises, punctuating his remark by tangling his left hand in Dan’s hair and forcing his head down. “What can I do for you gentlemen?” He asks, spanking Dan again, pleased to hear Dan’s silence.

- “The- the-” one of the men stammers, eyes fixed on Dan still.

- “Spit it out, I don’t have all day,” Phil snaps.

- The second man raises his eyebrows. “Would that happen to be Dan Howell?”

- “He’s my pet,” Phil answers, eyes cold in challenge. “Isn’t that right? You may speak.”

- “Yes, Daddy,” Dan says breathlessly.

- Phil smirks, but releases his hold in Dan’s hair as a subtle form of praise. “Anyways, what do you need?”

- “We need assistance in catching this man.” Phil is handed a photograph, and he spanks Dan three more times as he studies it, fighting a smirk. 

- “Consider it done. If I may ask why?” Phil pulls Dan up to sit in his lap and whispers, “Ride me in front of these men, Dan. Be quiet.” As Dan gets down onto the floor to unzip Phil’s jeans and take him into his mouth to get him wet, the two men watch Dan. “Well?”

- The first man seems to shake out of his trance. “That’s classified information.”

-By now, Dan is pulling out his plug and setting it aside, then climbing back into Phil’s lap, lining up and sinking down, facing Phil. He balances by holding tightly to Phil’s shoulders and burying his face in the crook of Phil’s neck, biting back a moan when Phil brushes against his prostate. Phil gives the men a steely gaze. “I suggest you tell me.” In the middle of his sentence, Phil spanks Dan again, harder than before. 

- “Drug trafficking, murder, treason…”

- “Ooh, treason?” Phil questions, moving his chair closer to his desk and opening up his laptop, typing away on its keyboard. “Did he tell the Syrians what small dicks you all have?”

- “No, he gave away the names of all our secret agents and personal allies to an unknown source.”

- Phil stifles a laugh, because he’s the unknown source. “I trust that my name wasn’t given?”

-”Of course-” the words are interrupted by Dan finally making a sound- a high pitched string of curses and ‘daddys’ that was more a moan than anything. 

Immediately, Phil lifts Dan up off of his cock and sets him roughly on the floor. “Since you can’t be a good toy, you can sit on the ground and be my little cockwarmer,” Phil growls too quietly for the men to hear, and spreads his legs enough for Dan to crawl between them and take Phil into his mouth. This is one of Dan’s least favorite things, because he can’t try to make Phil cum or feel good- he’s just supposed to sit there with his mouth open and taste Phil, hot, heavy, bitter, and perfect on his tongue. “How soon do you need him… disposed of?”

- “Actually, we just need him arrested,” the second man says, pointedly looking anywhere but at Phil.

-”I don’t make arrests. He’s good as dead.” The man in the photo works under Phil, but he won’t anymore, since he couldn’t do his job subtly. “He’ll be in the Thames tomorrow. Remember not to let the media in on it. Dismissed.”

- Turning to leave, the first man is yanked back by the second. “Who the fuck do you think you are, being a condescending douche bag? And fucking some twink in front of us while we talk, too?”

- “I’m your worst nightmare, gentlemen, and I suggest you leave before I have you… taken care of.” The men leave, and Phil looks down at Dan. “This is what you’re made for. You look good with a mouthful of my cock, so pliant and pretty for me.” Phil clucks his tongue. “Too bad you’re such a naughty slut. I’m going to fuck your mouth, and then I’m going to come all over your face. You’ll stay that way the rest of the day, and you will not be coming until tomorrow, and that is, if I’m feeling generous. Put your plug back in now.” Dan pulls his mouth off of Phil’s cock, and is met with a hand in his hair, yanking him back. “Did I say you could stop?” Whimpering, Dan fumbles behind him for his plug and pushes it into himself with a wince, and then crosses his arms behind his back, a wordless invitation for Phil to use him as he pleases.

- Phil holds Dan’s head in place and starts to thrust in and out of Dan’s mouth, picking up speed until he’s moving at a brutal pace. When he’s close he pulls out and looks at the sight of Dan, who has tear tracks running down his flushed cheeks, swollen, fucked out lips and glazed over eyes. Phil rapidly jerks off until he comes on Dan’s face, harshly breathing. Once Phil’s tucking himself back into his pants, Dan sticks out his tongue to lick away what cum he can reach, and says, “Thank you daddy.” The visual and those words are nearly enough to make Phil hard again.

———–

I didn’t write it into this but AFTERCARE IS IMPORTANT ESP. AFTER A SCENE LIKE THIS

-Mae

Send us your sins

dan and phil adopt a dog

+dan wouldn’t allow phil to even look any type besides a shiba inu.

+dan wants to get it a black collar. phil wants to get it a green collar. they end up getting both, along with around 20 toys.

+midway through a gaming video, dan calls for the dog and it hops up into his lap and sits there for a while. it eventually leaves, but not before dan yells at it for being a little shit.

+phil now steals dan’s cereal not only for himself, but for the dog too, because “i know all of the cereal is gone now, but dan, he looked like he really wanted some!”

+pinof 9 with dog related questions. go get the dog. get the dog to do a trick. kiss the dog. draw cat whiskers on the dog. “wont that poison him?” they draw whiskers on a piece of paper and hold it up to him.

+in their new house (they had to move because the apartment didn’t allow dogs), they have a cute fenced in back yard that phil plays in with the dog. phil tries to start a garden, but the dog keeps going and laying on the flowers, so he gives up.

+dan sometimes hears phil talking to the dog and makes fun of him for it (“wow, we really do need more friends”), even though he secretly does it all the time.

+dan wants to sleep with the dog. phil wants to sleep with the dog. they comprise and sleep together. the dog leaves and sleeps on the couch in the middle of the night.

+the dog keeps stealing dans food and he swears that he ‘will actually murder the bloody dog if it takes the food out of my hand one more time’.

+dan and phil walk the dog together because “if someone has to go outside with the dog, i guess both of us should have to suffer”.

+dan always pretends to hate the dog and says that its super annoying. one day it runs away. dan cries. “phil! what if he’s gone forever! what if something bad happens to him! what if he gets hurt! we have to go find him! im going to find him.” phil doesn’t even call dan when phil finds the dog sleeping under the bed.

+dan and phil merch featuring the dog. the dog is now a model for the merch. the dog has its own poster.

+“A Day in the Life of Dan and Phil’s Dog!”

+dan starts a twitter for the dog. he tweets things like “woof! (when will death consume me)” or “bark! (all i crave is the sweet sensation of death)”. it ends up verified.

+for dan’s birthday, phil buys dan and the dog matching shirts.

+dan spends two hours putting pink gemstones on the dogs bowl so it says the dogs name. both he and phil agree it was two hours well spent.

+phil yells at dan for hogging the dog. “you can’t be the only one who gets to cuddle it, i want my turn!”

+sometimes, the dog gets up in the middle of the night and starts to bark. dan and phil play the 'who can pretend to be asleep longer’ game. usually, dan loses.

In Another Life - Stress Relief

prompt: 

summary: a chaptered fic made up of a series of smutty oneshots taking place in the pastel!dan and punk!phil alternate universe

genre: smut, a bit of angst

warnings: in this particular oneshot - swearing, rimming, handjobs, voyeurism in a type of way ?

word count: 2205 (nice)

a/n: okay yes! this is the last fic of my ‘a fic a day’ marathon thing that i’ve been following for the past two weeks :( i have school in about 7 hours, so yay for the first day of school! i will be posting fics, just not as often or consistently anymore :( but yes i hope you enjoyed this! ((this is also not beta’ed bc holly is asleep and i don’t have the patience to have it beta’ed rn omg okay bye)) <33

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This Motion Fails

pairing: Phan

genre: fluff

word count: 4,743 words

status: finished

warnings: underage drinking

Summary: Model UN!Phan where Dan and Phil go to a conference and are super touchy and everyone ships it, including the delegates in their committee.

A/N: I don’t think I’ve mentioned it here yet, but I’ve submitted a fic to phanficwritingcomp! Their results will be released will be released in about a week, but I’ll let you guys know what happens! Anyway, this fic was inspired by the recent Model UN conference that I went to, and for anyone who is still in school, I definitely recommend you go! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, because this is basically exactly what happens lol. Heeeeere we go!

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Too Hot To Handle

Word Count: 4.3k 

Genre: smut  

Warnings: Grinding/frottage, rimming. 

Summary: Dan was sleeping on the couch and Phil comes in when he was having a wet dream. Later Phil finds out what the dream was about, and helps make it a reality for Dan.

Link for Ao3 ( x )

A/N: My first fanfic!? WOo! i hope you guys like it! (oh tell me if you find any grammar mistakes so i can fix them thank you!) Enjoy :)

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Blindsided - What’s one peck between friends?

“Uhhhm…..” Dan and Phil looked at each other, panic clear in their eyes.

“So… what is it? If your fans raise €250,000 for the red cross, BBC will match it, and then will you kiss on camera?” the reporter asked, and Phil saw the stress behind Dan’s warm brown eyes. He bit his lip as they had one of their nonverbal conversations, spoken only through subtle looks.

We can’t do this, Phil.

We can’t exactly say no to that much money being donated! For a charity!

We definitely would look like assholes…

Are we doing this, Dan?

Ugh…. Fuck reporters.

Phil sighed and then turned to the reporter, taking the lead.

“Okay. Okay fine. We will kiss on camera if you all raise that money. And just because it’s a great charity!” He looked over to Dan who had put on a smile and was shaking his head. How had they gotten here, hadn’t they told the reporters not to talk about anything relating to romance between them? They did that every time they were interviewed. Dan and Phil both tried hard not to ‘queer bait’ on their channels, and when they had interviews they didn’t want to talk about all the drama, instead talking about the real things happening in their lives.

“And just a peck! Don’t you go expecting any tongue, I don’t know where that tongue has been, and I don’t want to!” Dan joked, grimacing at Phil who elbowed him. This kind of banter was easy between them and they both fell into it smoothly, but Phil knew this wasn’t going to end well.

Honestly the damage had already been done. Even if the money wasn’t raised, the fact that they agreed to it would be enough to fuel the phan shippers for months. Oh well, there was no turning back now.

“Phil?” Phil heard Dan call from the other room, and he set his laptop down on the couch, getting up and making his way into Dan’s room.

“Yeah?”

“They did it. They raised the money.” Dan said with a sigh.

“Wow sound more sad about it, why don’t you? You know you’ve always wanted this…” Phil teased, puckering up his lips.

“Shut up!” Dan laughed, and Phil took a deep breath, accepting that this was going to happen.

He honestly had been expecting it. He would have been surprised if the money hadn’t been raised, so he had had the time to prepare for this realization, and it didn’t hit him too hard. It’s not like it was that big a deal. Yes, their audience would go crazy, and yes it’d be hell online for a while, but it was Dan, and that part Phil wasn’t worried for.

There was nothing romantic between he and Dan, but when you’ve lived with someone for so long and spend so much time with them, a peck isn’t that scary. They’d never had a reason to do it before so it’d be new, but it didn’t feel like any earth shattering type of thing. So, he and Dan’s lips would touch. Who cares?

“Alright, Phil, everything’s set up!” Phil walked into Dan’s room after hearing him call.

“Okay, let’s get this over with.” He grumbled as he sat down. He didn’t care all that much, but he wasn’t really looking forward to what this was going to do to their fans.

“Aw, come on Philly, I put on chapstick for you!” Dan laughed, and Phil smiled.

“Idiot.”

“You know, I think you should sit on my lap for the intro. And I’ll call you Philly the whole time.”

“Oh alright, and I can call you Pooh Bear!”

“Now that was uncalled for, you know Winnie the Pooh is my kryptonite!”

“The fans would love it.”

“I don’t think we need to give them anything more to love, this is going to be literally what they’ve been asking for for almost nine years.”

Their banter passed quickly, and Phil was left chuckling, the few butterflies that had begun to flutter in his stomach gone. They’d decided to upload this to Phil’s channel, so he clicked on the camera and gave his intro.

“Hey guys!”

“Perverts.” Dan chimed in.

“Dan! This is my channel, you can’t call them perverts!” Phil protested, turning to Dan who shrugged.

“They’re forcing us to kiss. Perverts.” Phil sighed and turned to the camera, raising his hands in a shrug and shaking his head, as if to say 'what am I supposed to do with him?’

“Alright, well you all have read the title and if you’re confused, basically the BBC said that if our viewers donate €250,000 to the red cross organization, the BBC will match it to make a total of €500,000 donated, and we agreed that we would, drumroll please?” Dan made drum noises with his mouth as he mimed playing at a drum kit, and Phil reminded himself to add an effect later. “We would kiss on camera!”

“Yes, the thing you creeps have been asking us to do since day one! Well today’s your lucky day, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the hot shit that’s about to come your way!”

“Dan!”

“Just bleep it!” Dan shrugged, and Phil groaned dramatically.

“Okay, so this is gonna be a pretty short video. We’re just going to do it and then there will be some information I’ll put on the screen at the end of the video of how to continue to donate to the red cross, which you all should do if you can because it’s a wonderful organization! Thank you so much to everyone who donated, it’s going to a great cause. If you want to learn more about it-”

“You’re stalling. Is Philly nervous?” Dan chuckled, reaching forward as if he was about to tickle Phil, who squirmed backwards, making sure not to leave the shot.

“Stop it!” He swatted Dan’s hand away. “Alright well… uh… here goes!”

Phil turned to face Dan who was already looking at him (no surprise there), and they both chuckled a little, awkwardly, something Phil was sure they’d edit out of the final cut.

“Okay, so… should we just do it?” Dan asked, and Phil shrugged.

“I guess so.”

“Okay.” Dan leaned forward tentatively and Phil met him in the middle, pressing their lips together.

They’d intended for it to be a short kiss. Not just a peck because they knew it was a cop out, but not more than a second or two. It didn’t end up going as planned.

Phil felt Dan’s soft lips press against his own, and Dan’s scent was surrounding him, and something about it just felt… right. Sparks shot through him and he felt his heart began to race as he tentatively raised a hand to Dan’s cheek, and Dan put one hand down on Phil’s knee, sliding it up to rest on his thigh.

The kiss deepened, and Phil felt intoxicated by Dan’s closeness. He didn’t want this to stop. What was happening?

It didn’t get too heated, they were still on camera, but when they pulled apart they were both wide eyed and giggling a bit.

Dan began to speak to the camera, but he didn’t take his eyes off Phil, and Phil didn’t move his gaze from Dan.

“So we know all of you have wondered for years if we were together… All I’ll say to that is that I fully intend on taking this man out on a date tonight.” Phil blushed as he looked at Dan, eyes wide in surprise, but also holding excitement and the tiniest bit of nervousness.

“I can’t wait.” Phil whispered as his hand found Dan’s.

From the day it was uploaded until the day Dan and Phil made their last video together, this was their video with the most views, and Phil loved it, because it told their story.