Hello! This is part 3 of the second chapter of CPR! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the first one! CPR Masterlist
Lily had been a little bit more surprised by Dan’s new partner than you had been. She had no idea Dan was bisexual, and so when you told her he had a boyfriend, she’d been quite confused. You had known for a while now that he liked both men and women, he’d opened up about it to you all those years back in high school. He hadn’t exactly said the words, but he’d expressed his struggles with his identity. It made you happy for him that it appeared he had accepted himself and was brave enough to actually have a boyfriend and mention it in public. But however progressive and brave it was, fact was that Dan was taken, and that did not put a smile on your face. You hadn’t thought it would impact you this much, it wasn’t like you hadn’t had boyfriends in college, but somehow knowing Dan was with someone else made you a little bit sad inside. It didn’t help that he didn’t exactly seem happy in this relationship. Obviously it was none of your business and you had no idea who this guy even was, but Dan didn’t light up when he spoke of him and as far as you were concerned, that meant it wasn’t true love. You and Dan had been texting each other every now and then, you sharing pictures of your renovated room and him texting you about the apartment he lived in now, and how his parents were doing. He’d even send you a video of his family dog Colin, which made you smile and in return, that made him happy. It was almost as if those five years hadn’t gone by and you were right back at the beginning of your friendship with Dan, before the flower garden and before the night when you made it pretty clear that the two of you were not going to happen. Back then you’d told him that he wasn’t worth it, but you’d always known the truth was that you did not deem yourself worthy of a life with him. He’d always been a small town guy and his dreams did not extend beyond happiness and a family, and although you saw nothing wrong with that, you did not think you would ever be able to give him that. And thus, you’d gotten out before he would realize that himself.
don’t imagine dan and phil on their last night in the london apartment, lying in phil’s shitty wicker bed and reminiscing about all the memories of the place that has sheltered them for the last five years, the good and the bad
don’t imagine them facing each other and staring into each other’s eyes, holding one hand in between them and giggling endlessly about the cracks and dents in the walls and floor due to the age of the building, and the ones they managed to make themselves over the years
don’t imagine them whispering quietly to each other about how excited they are for the new place, and how much they can’t wait for this next big step in their lives because as sad as it is to leave this place behind, many more amazing things still lie ahead of them
don’t imagine them cuddling up to each other before they fall asleep, dan wrapping his arms around phil’s waist and burying his face in his chest while phil rests his chin on top of dans head, rubbing the younger boys back- a position they’ve been in for thousands of nights, but it’s the last time that it’s happening in that particular bed, in that particular room, in that particular flat
don’t imagine dan whispering into phil’s chest when the older boy is fast asleep: “i don’t care where we go; as long as i’m with you, i’ll always be home”