dan explain

Dan and Phil videos that are appropriate for parents if your parents are wtf:

Saw a lot of people struggling in how to explain Dan and Phil to their parents and what videos to show them 

I got you fam!

Dan and Phil AND DOGS!

CREEPY DOLL WATCHES ME SLEEP

I KILLED MY HOUSEPLANT!

Phil is not on fire 6, 7, and or 8

Halloween Baking - Creepy Crispy Cakes CONJOINED

Dan vs. Phil: BUZZ!

Dan vs. Phil - FESTIVE FLASH FIGHT

WILL DAN AND PHIL BE MILLIONAIRES?

DAB BECOMES A CHILD!

My Bahamas TRAVEL DISASTER

My Evil Piano Teacher

Who’s more likely to - Dan or Phil? 

Dan and Phil’s story of how they missed their flight

if you know more that fit into the category feel free to add them! :)

Kool-aid Vase Incident | 17.08.17
  • Someone in chat: Talk about the vase thing.
  • Dan: Yeah, Phil what the hell is up with your kool-aid vase incident?
  • Phil: Right, let me explain...
  • Dan: Have you explained this?
  • Phil: NO! It was a...
  • Dan: Seriously, what is wrong with this guy? Explain it.
  • Phil: The kool-aid it said...
  • Dan: No, go back. Context.
  • Phil: In my video...
  • Dan: Which video?
  • Phil: My Sleepless Night With Phil...
  • Dan: This is why I interrupt Phil.
  • Phil: Yeah.
  • Dan: He leaves out... look, I let him start things 'cause I'm nice like that but if he just goes "the kool-aid went in this!" It's like look... they don't know what you're...
  • Phil: Let's rewind, sit by the fire, open the book and tell you a tale about the glass of the vase. Basically, in my Sleepless Night With Phil video, I was making kool-aid and the kool-aid said to prepare it in a large drink receptacle, so I thought what's large? None of these glasses, I'm going to use this massive glass.
  • Dan: It's... it wasn't a glass! It was a flower vase.
  • Phil: It was in the cupboard with all the glasses!
  • Dan: Was it?
  • Phil: Yes!
  • Dan: Why?
  • Phil: I don't know! I didn't put it there.
  • Dan: Didn't you?
  • Phil: I just thought it was a massive glass but it turns out it is a flower vase but it makes a really good drink. Do you know when you have a massive mug for a big hot chocolate if you're having one of those nights? You know?
  • Dan: *hesitant* Yeah... *laughs*
  • Phil: Yeah, well if you're going to have an eight hour session on the laptop, just pour one drink into a vase and you don't have to get up again.
  • Dan: I guess? Sure.
  • Phil: Just make sure it's got no flower bits in it.
  • Dan: But there are big drinks receptacles that are like cylinders...
  • Phil: There can be like three pints in that!
  • Dan: Wouldn't you like cut your lip on it because it's not what it's supposed to be?
  • Phil: No, just think outside of the box, Dan. That's what you need to do.
The Girlfriend Tag

Originally posted by arophan

Imagine: You and Dan decide to give the fans what they want, and cute video of the internents favourite couple

A/N: I know this isn’t any thing about marvel but I couldn’t help myself, I’ve been watching all of Dan and hil’s videos and getting so many feelis. I just had to. Also I really should be doinf my German coursework, bit too late, Dan is more important

Warnings: Some swearing, implied smut but just fluff really

Word Count: 1955 (got a little carried away)


“Hello internet” Dan starts off with his iconic opener

“Today, I am joined by the wonderful Y/N, who you may also know as my girlfriend!” He exclaimed, giving out a laugh as your cue to jump into the camera view.

“Hey guys” You giggled, getting comfortable next to Dan

“Now you may be wondering what original video I have for you today, and let me tell you, it doesn’t get more original than this”

“We are doing the girlfriend tag!” You almost shouted, causing Dan to let out a rather loud groan.

“Jeez, lets tone it now my channel isn’t used to your happy attitude just yet” He joked, covering his ears

“Just because you literally only have the feeling of embarrassment, doesn’t mean I can’t be happy” You fire back, sending a smirk in his direction.

“Oh God, too much sass. I want Phil back” Your dork of a boyfriend joked

“Shut up, we kind of have a part of Phil with us now” You explained

“Really how so?” Dan played along

“Well, he did do the questions for us to answer”

“God knows what kind of weird stuff he has put in here; I don’t know if you guys have noticed but Phil is like obsessed with sharing our relationship with others. If he isn’t taking sneaky photos of us and tweeting them, then he is jumping into a room when we are together doing a live stream of us.”

As Dan continued to talk about his best friend, you couldn’t help but admire his perfect features. His big, wide smile that would light up a room. His unusually large dimple that you found so adorable. How he is constantly touching and checking if his hair looks okay, which of course it does. And his dark drowns eyes, that you could stare into for days.

“..Y/n?” You were abruptly ripped out of your thoughts by Dan waving a hand in front of your face

“Sorry” You blushed, red staining your cheeks as you realised Dan caught you staring at him and will most definitely keep this part in his video, because, well let’s face it, a bit of an arse.

“What were you so caught up about?”

“Just admiring the view” You jokingly sent back and big wink. Now it was Dan’s’ turn to blush, whist also letting out a laugh

“That was so cringe, I might just have to take it out of the video.” Dan spoke to the camera; he was definitely not taking that part out.

“Right so to start this video I’m going to put my hand into the hat and pull out a question. The questions are basically letting you guys know even more about our relationship and hopefully teaching us a bit more about each other” Dan explained.

“Ohhhh can I go first?” You excitedly asked. You couldn’t help it, there was something so fun about doing a video with your boyfriend.

“Of course”

You dove your hand into the hat, grabbing the first folded piece of paper you felt and pulled it out.

“Alright it says, ‘Where was our first kiss?’” For the second time you felt your cheeks heat up.

“I’m going to be so red this whole video, reckon you could like put a filter on me to make me look better?” You joked, however it wasn’t such a bad idea.

Dan laughed, before saying

“So do you want to answer or me?”

“You do it” You always loved hearing Dan talk about your relationship

“Alright, I remember it was our second date and we were just hanging in the living room eating pizza talking after just finishing up on the X-box. I was so nervous, just thinking about leaning in and possibly facing rejection and ruining it all. But then you made a joke out about anime and I knew I had to do it before someone else snatched you away” Dan smiled at the memory, you beaming right back at him.

“Then he just leant in and kissed me, obviously I didn’t turn down that face and now here we are two years later” You finished, butterflies erupting in your stomach at the fond memory.

“OK, next question” Dan stuck his hand in the hat rather ungracefully causing a few questions to topple out.

“Shit” he mumbled, throwing back three in the hat and reading out the remaining one on the floor.

“Finish this sentence ‘My girlfriend is a complete…..’” Dan stopped to think for a minute, you couldn’t help but anxiously wait for what he was going to say

“…..twat” He finally spoke. This caused you both to simultaneous burst out into a fit of laughter, clutching your stomach you couldn’t be surprised at what Dan said, it was so him. You knew Dan loved you with everything he had, it was very obvious. You guys didn’t have a mushy gushy relationship, it was more full of lots of jokes and banter, you guys were basically best friends,

“You are such and arse, why am I dating you?” You tried to sound upset, but the smile that you couldn’t wipe off your face gave it all away.

“You loveeeeee me really” He rather obnoxiously sung

“Actually Babe, I’m secretly in love with Phil and I only come round to your house on the chance that I will see my one true love” You lied, not helping but feel a bit weird by saying you like Phil, who was basically like a brother to you.

“That’s just mean, and a little gross” He complained

“Yeah I know; I have no clue why I said it” you giggled

“Right, my turn” You plunged your hand into the hat, pulling one out to read.

“‘Who wears the pants in the relationship?’ Ohh that’s hard” You thought.

“I know my answer” Dan said confidently

“Really? Alright let’s say our answers on three. One, two, three.”

This caused both of you to say ‘me’ at the same time.

“You’re kidding me right?” You said in disbelief to Dan

“What? Love, I’m always making the decisions”

“Babe, I literally always have to order for us at the cinema because you’re ‘too awkward to talk to new people’”

“Alright, alright I’ll give you that one, no need to share all my secrets on my channel”

Dan took out another piece of paper from the hat, causing yet again one to fall out.

“God, it’s clear to see who the clumsiest one of us is. And that’s hard because I could fall over standing still” You poked out at Dan.
“Leave me alone, you are so mean. So it says, ohhh this is interesting, ‘who is more jealous’?” Dan read.

“Ohhh, that is” You both took a minute to think about it, recalling moments when the other has been jealous. Most of these moments resulting in some seriously fun times together, and just by looking at Dan and the lazy smirk he wore you knew he was thinking about them. You kicked him in the shins, under the view of the camera causing him to jump a little, then answering.

“I feel like you get jealous more often, but it’s not as intense as when I get jealous.”
“Hmmm, yeah I reckon that’s fair to say.” You repeated, it wasn’t hard constantly having beautiful girls running up to your boyfriend, telling him how hot and sometimes the daring ones flirting with him. However, it had happened a few times when we were hanging around with Dan’s friends and one flirts with you, he gets mad.

“We only have a couple questions left” You sadly exclaimed, not wanting this video to be over.

“Let’s hope we haven’t saved the weirdest till last then!” Dan deadpanned

Grabbing one of the last pieces of paper you unfold it and read,

“‘what do I find really fun, that no one else really does?’” You laughed lightly at this weird question, thinking Dan would need a while on this one.

“You watch pimple popping videos” He answered straight away. You sat there with your mouth hanging open, a blush adorned on your cheeks,

“How did you know that? I always try to keep it on the down low” You exclaimed, shocked and slightly embarrassed that he knew

“Sweetheart, we’ve been going out for 2 years, we’ve been living together for 1, there is little that I don’t know about you”

“That’s kind of creepy and really cute at the same time. I knew I chose you for a reason” You hummed

“I’m not some Pokémon woman, don’t objectify me like that” He fired back

“Shut up and read the last question. Because as much as I love doing videos with you I need to cook us dinner, and get it done so it’s ready when Phil comes back from visiting his family.

“Aw look at you, you are literally the only reason we have survived this long. Anyway, here we go and I won’t knock out another question this time.” He took his time in dramatically picking out the question.

“Oh for god’s sake Phil, he’s such a child. It says ‘when did the two of you first sleep together?’”

A deep shade of red engulfs your face and you looked over at Dan with your mouth wide.

“What the hell, he did not just ask that?” You said shocked.

“Yeah you’re right, I’m joking. Lol” Dan admits, handing over the question for you to read aloud.

“It says, ‘Who/When fist said I love You?’ Now that is a cute question” You cooed, recalled that cherished memory that you held very close to your heart.

“Well, I don’t want to spill all the beans about our relationship just yet, so all that you guys will be knowing is that, Y/N said it first. Maybe we can do another gushy relationship story about that some other time. But for now that’s it.” Dan finished off the video and looked at you to continue.

“Thanks guys for watching hope you enjoyed it, and if you did please subscribe and request some more ideas of what we can do next. Byeeee” You finished

“That was so much fun” You turned to Dan, who was already lovingly gazing at you.

“You know I love you right?” He spoke

“Of course, and you know I love you too, so much” You replied inching your face closer to his.

“You know when you told me you loved me, when we were just lying in bed cuddling watching Breaking Bad, I think that that’s the happiest I’ve ever felt.” He confessed. As much as you loved the banter and jokes in this relationship, nothing felt better than Dan confessing his feelings to your, he really did complete you.

“I was so nervous that I had said it too soon, but I’m so glad one of us plucked up the courage to say it” You murmured, now lips a mere centimeter away from each other.

Dan quickly closed the gap between the two of you and soon had his hand on the back of your head pulling you closer. Automatically you brought your hands up to caress his cheeks and you two shared one of the most passionate kisses in your relationship.

Dan gently pushed you back onto the bed and slipped his hand down to your waist, when you suddenly remembered something.

“Dan the camera is still on!”

“Oh fuck yeah, thank God it isn’t a live stream” He jumped up to turn the camera off, leaving it on the side to edit later.

But he only had one thought on his mind now. You. Jumping back next to you on the bed you two finished off what you had started

Top Quality Moments™ from the stop emo shaming video

- stop angst discrimination (s.a.d.)

- anthony is crying only 3 seconds in a+

- “people used to throw rocks at me for wearing an MCR t shirt outside”

- general lack of saturation and sad music playing in the background kind of makes it look like a knock-off ASPCA commercial

- dan having to explain to his dad that he stabbed himself in the eye bc he wanted to be pete wentz

- “I sleepwalk as an emo”

- “shame cam”

- dan’s face when he crawled under the desk screaming

- “where are you going” “tO jOiN ThE BLaCk pArAdE”

- “oh no its happening, get the holy water”

- “CAN I PAINT YOUR NAILS” “CAN I STRAIGHTEN YOUR HAIR”

- dan’s lil bootyshake when he was singing I write sins not tragedies

- phil is DISGUSTED by your BULLSHIT

- the pictures of phil flashing across the screen as dan and anthony are talking about how sad it must be to be someone with emo hair in 2017

- “not okay……. not…… okay…… I’m not okay…. I’m nOT OKAAAAYYYY”

anonymous asked:

sooo i don't really have a question but i would like an analysis of the new amazingphil video if you have one,, or just your favorite moments, idk i just want you to talk about it, i love your "reviews"

hahaha of course i’ll talk about it!!!!! it’s interesting bc when i first watched this i was actually like not that into it??? it just felt like 10 very calm and chill mins of dnp hanging out which is obviously great but i think i was sort of distracted so i was like mmmm it wasn’t as entertaining as their usual collabs, esp bc on first watch i was like, dan keeps going for these weird dark jokes about torture n maiming and it’s all v Standard Fare but then i thought about it more and realized ,, if this isn’t the biggest evidence yet about how far they’ve come and evolved since last year then idk what is??? like i just can’t believe it’s gotten to the point where i could watch 10 minutes of dan softly playing around with phil’s hair and both of them being a bit calmer and more muted in front of the camera, freely touching each other and joking around about more Mature Themes (hats off to the dildo joke and the “safety word” bit) and have all of that feel completely STANDARD and unsurprising!!! it’s just crazy to me that they’ve normalized these behaviors so much that a video like this could feel so completely expected and ~chill~ 

but then i watched it a second and third time (bc duh) when i was less distracted and there really were so many little moments that stood out to me and so many cute smiles and soft lil jokes that made me wanna melt and it was all just so good. it’s nowhere near their funniest or most captivating video but it’s just vv vv v v soft and chill and natural. when comparing it to something like pastel edits which is probs a close parallel in terms of them playing dress up and touching each other a bit in direct response to a fan request, you can see how this one is far softer and a little bit less performed–they seem less ‘on’ for lack of a better term, and a lot more laid back, dan doesn’t spend as much time demeaning the idea or teasing the fan base for wanting it, and all of it is just so enjoyable to watch. i’ve included (way too many) timestamps below (plus way too many screenshots, as usual, of stupidly cute moments ugh): 

  • 5 seconds in this is already alarmingly cute w dan grumbling behind the pillow that phil wants to give him a creative nickname and phil giggling and looking down at him when he starts complaining
  • :17 dan gives phil permission to just call him dan and phil looks cute n happy about it
  • :27 dan needs to reiterate he was a nerd in school
  • :34 ‘japes’ k dan
  • :48 i live for the way phil looks so earnest and excited when he asks dan why he decided to ‘embrace the curls’ like he genuinely wants to hear dan explain this .. phil is genuinely obsessed w dan’s curls he wasn’t lyin when he said that in the pastel edits vid :(
  • 1:00 i hope phil was the one who chose that photo as an example of dan’s hair looking good in a pic,, phil thinks dan’s best look is his crunchy 2013 leather jacket n his scoop neck t shirt … #confirmed
  • 1:10 ‘you’ve left me alone!’ calm down phil he’s right next to u
  • 1:12 did phil pick that photo too ..  the one of dan in his tank top n hair straightened to within an inch of its life and silvery earrings making a pouty face ,,, lmao i love that he’s picking the cringiest emo-est throwbacks possible
  • 1:54 phil’s like ‘i thought we could eat 400 crusts to see if my hair goes curly’ and it’s altogether a lame joke but dan is staring at him like he’s the most beautiful person on earth. i’d be uncomfortable if i wasn’t so busy melting. then phil stares at dan giggling and it’s all a bit much for me
  • 2:41 ‘what’d happen if i balded you right now?’ dan is so concerned for phil’s well-being that he forgets how to grammar
  • 2:45 the fuckin dildo joke i s2g why are they making sly references to dildos in a g-rated hair curling video why did phil immediately follow dan saying ‘that looks like something else’ by going ‘ooo’ and shoving the curler near dan’s mouth why are they gross
  • 3:21 dan unnecessarily rubbing the curler all over phil’s shoulder and neck … ok
  • 3:41 phil sounds so serious when he asks dan if he thinks the curly hair will suit him, like he really needs dan’s Hot Take on this important issue but dan’s just shuts him down hahaha. i feel like this is reminiscent of the faceapp vid in which dan was completely NOT DOWN with any alteration to phil’s appearance whatsoever bc (vom) he thinks phil is perf jst the way he is (i might actually be sick) 
  • 3:47 idk why but i’m obsessed w phil saying ‘dan, don’t mess about with it’ and dan responding ‘i’m nOT’ in his whiny voice w his eyes all wide. cute
  • 3:56 lmao dan bringing up babuse (i can’t type that without thinking of ‘let me see that babussy’ i hate the fucking internet) and saying it was the last time he was on this bed, i am living for these bants and also phil’s expression of mock horror
  • 4:08 ‘curl me up, bess’
  • 4:11 dan’s going for ‘teen nick jonas but without the face’ his crush is going strong i see,, and then he can’t even follow through and tell phil his face doesn’t compare to nick jonas’s so he turns it into a joke about burning his face instead, nice save bro
  • 4:27 THIS KILLED ME THEYRE JST TALKING N DAN JUST BRUSHES ASIDE A BIT OF PHILS FRINGE FOR NO REASON AT ALL HE JST WANTS TO PLAY W HIS HAIR ITS CUTE N IM DYIN
  • 5:01 something about this bit when dan’s like ‘got a whole clump it’s undignified’ and their proximity, the way their arms are sort of pressed together and it looks like dan could be resting his hand on phil’s leg and dan is also sort of just looking down at phil ,,, Good
  • 5:08 when phil kinda squeaks and pulls away all of a sudden i feel like dan is legit actually concerned he could burn phil as evidenced by his voice going all high pitched when he’s like ‘you can’t do that!!!!’
  • 5:13 more completely unnecessary dan playing around w phil’s fringe n brushing it away. it goes on for like 8 seconds plus there’s a jump cut in the middle of it lmao,,, ugh the way he touches phil’s hair is so soft it makes me feel things
  • 5:32 ‘gonna pork you up phil’ does dan know the meaning of ‘pork’ as a verb ??  ? ? ??? ??????  for reference:
  • 5:36 ‘my life is flashing before my eyes’ ‘ooo is it really boring’ dan is showing yet again that he flirts like a five year old who pulls their crush’s pigtails in the playground grOW UP MATE. phil loves it tho
  • 6:03 omg idk why but i LOVED phil saying ‘i’m finding you so disturbing right now’ it feels so authentic??? something about the way he phrased it is so funny??????? like he genuinely needs dan to take it down a notch w the grim humor lmao
  • 6:47 ‘we need a safety word’ oh my god these boring vanilla fucks call a safe word a ‘safety word’ could they be LAMER hahaha (in all seriousness i can’t even believe that’s a joke dan went for at all let alone on this channel and that phil just chuckled n went along with it what the fuck what a time we live in honestly,, the flirting and touching and the whole premise of a dan-curls-phil’s-hair video is already so much but, like, let’s just add a fucking allusion to bdsm into the mix while we’re at it!!!!!!! wtf!!!)
  • the whole sped up montage of dan doing the curling is just rife w gratuitous hair touching so like obvi i immediately turned the speed down to .5 and just sat back to enjoy it (also @kay-okays uploaded a slowed down version here if ya wanna look at that or like bookmark it for ur own uses ,,  whatever ur into m8)
  • 7:18 those two gentle pats that dan gives to the back of phil’s head before phil looks at his finished hair … so fucking adorable bc it’s the way dan pats down his own hair when he’s fixing it pls save me
  • 7:29 dan obvi needs to make it a point to emphasize they have the same hair again as has been his constant refrain about their haircuts for the last like 3 years (tbh i’m convinced that he literally misses having the same hair as phil which is gross and just as sappy as i’d expect from him) and in order to demonstrate how ALIKE they are again he proceeds to mirror phil playing w his fringe bc why not .. 
  • ‘this was the only thing that was separating us’ PLS
  • 7:38 dan’s Hot Take 2.0: ‘you look like a cool australian surfer … like a weird goth one that has never been to the beach’
  • 8:14 dan asserts on phil’s behalf that phil ‘needs’ the edge of his emo fringe and phil immediately agrees. rip to anyone who was hoping quiff!phil might be on the horizon
  • 8:39 dan goes defensive about how he could’ve done a better job and phil immediately jumps in to say that he thinks dan did well in the most sincere voice of all time, accompanied w cute/soft smile
  • and then he cuts dan off entirely to remind him that he didn’t burn phil’s face off and to v fervently thank him (he litro NODS while he thanks him it’s so SERIOUS) and then dan does some weird touchy thing to phil’s chest or arm or both and phil decides to boop dan’s cheek and you should really SLOW IT DOWN bc when you do, you notice it’s more of like a lil squeeze as opposed to just a v light tap and it’s gROSS:
  • 8:59 then, since this video has far too much dan gratuitously touching phil and phil was surely feeling deprived, phil reaches over to give dan a ‘zayn curl’ and play w dan’s fringe a bit n at this point i’ve had Enough of this cute ass shit
  • 9:20 dan couldn’t just leave it there, he needs to take a moment to re-assert the ~dnp don’t go outside or go to parties or talk to people Ever~ branding just in case ANYONE forgot (but also seems like a low key way for dan to gently remind the audience not to get attached to this in any way bc it will probs never happen again)
  • 9:40 phil dubs dan the “original curly man” n idk how to feel about this but i suppose that is a fitting conclusion to this absolute roller coaster of emotions 

ugh. just a really great video. i’m sorry this post is massive,, there’s jst so much here and i needed to have pics of ALL OF IT

(dan curls my hair!

Basically what some evil people in America want to do, is to make it so that the people that give you your internet can make it so that you have to pay to go on different websites. So instead of like £10 to get all the Internet, you’d have to pay £5 for the Internet, but £5 if you want social media and £5 if you want YouTube and Netflix and then £5 if you want Wikipedia and Google and that’s really bad because the reason why the world has progressed so much socially in recent years, you know, the reason why social justice communities have become so powerful and the world seem to have made so much progress in recent years is BECAUSE of the Internet. You know what I mean? Its information, its education in states where people can’t trust their government, the Internet literally is freedom and knowledge and all the good things in the world, which is why it has to be protected. But I’m optimistic, you know. I feel like 2017 was a real test for the world in a lot of ways, but if all the bad things were a kick-back for the good things, it’s going to kick-back the other way. So… I don’t want to jinx the bloody universe, right? But I feel like 2018 could be good.
— 

@danielhowell during his live show on the 18th of December 2017 (x)

Quotes from Dan (108/?)

Dan explains Net Neutrality while being optimistic for the coming years.

god, i loved getting to hear about Dan’s “week in march,” so fucking much, you can’t even imagine. It’s just like… hearing Dan explain what he went through being off meds for two weeks on accident without the proper monitored reduction by a physician both made me laugh and cringe for him. Like Dan said, it can be a horrible situation for some, life threatening, even, but also like Dan said, having gone the exact same thing as Dan, I can laugh at myself and how my body decided to react when I forgot my anti-depressants.

It was only one day, for me. One day, on accident, early one, when I didn’t know if I should wait until tomorrow to take it if it had already been like 6 hours since I USUALLY did, and oh man… oh man. For me, it was a numbness that rivaled the sensation of depression numbness, followed almost instantly by mania and a thrill seeking need that I have never before experienced in my life. I nearly hit another car because I went driving. I was a mess.

Hearing Dan experience something similar, and sharing that story with us… I was so happy to be able to laugh with him, and understand, and feel that same kind of strange kinship with someone who made a simple mistake with anit-depressants and came out the other end safetly. 

I know that for many of you out there, it’s not so funny. It might be terrifying and upsetting that he could laugh it off, or that I could laugh it off, and it might be the worst experience in the world when it happens, and for months after, but I promise that one day, you’ll look back and be able to laugh and cry at the same time, because look. You’re alive. You’re okay. You’re safe, and you understand your body and mind better, and you are still, STILL pushing through, despite how rough it must have been to be accidentally off of the thing that kept you sane. 

Thank you Dan, for sharing that story with us. Thank you, for making me feel able to laugh at my own silly mistake as well. Thank you for being open with us. 

instarbuckswithdan  asked:

science explain why dan is so in love with phil

okay here’s a theory. we all know what dan lacks. serotonin, the well-being neurotransmitter, found in human and animal brains. serotonin rhymes with kill bill, a 2003 movie starring uma thurman. you know who had a kill bill poster in his room which sometimes appeared in his videos? phil. now, when kill bill came out in 2003, phil was 16 and dan was 12. 1+6+1+2=10, discarding zero, we get 1. the one. BAM. phil is dan’s the one. case solved. illuminati confirmed

anonymous asked:

I just watched the video and like that was the most organic thing ever??? pure? good? flirting?

it’s just so nice i have decided to make a full list of good things from google feud 2:

  • jumpcut of dan saying ‘e’ when he obviously leaned far into phil
  • phil calling us the wayward fun person at a party 
  • phil’s just generally bouncy and full of personality? canceling robot phil little by little
  • dan looks like a good fucking twink i dont make the rules
  • i love dan’s hair :( such a good length
  • phil ate all the macaroons before dan. survival of the fittest (oookaaay but this was actually such an amazing interaction because it was letting us into their everyday lives? and phil introduced that? it makes them seem really long term and comfortable with living so closely together. im all warm and tingly.)
  • phil shushing a scared and confused dan
  • “im not even joking” in the softest dan voice ever
  • plugging side channels and merch and selling out
  • “i like dipping things”
  • “this is –” “can we just play the game?” “– a disaster.”
  • phil wants to type (insert dan looking at the camera sadly – twink??)
  • dans tongue is blue
  • selling out pt ii: google
  • dan biting his sweatshirt toggles :(
  • “someone’s gonna get a sweet macaroon in his mouth tonight”
  • phil leaning into dan all happy
  • phil questioning how people even know how to raise babies aka lowkey thinking about having kids vibes
  • HOW TO RAISE A PUPPY
  • “chill out dan”
  • explaining that their bants r a joke
  • dan’s obsessed with penises 
  • dan leaning completely into phil’s space like wtf get off him
  • “[is duct tape safe for] kidnapping your senpai”………k. including elongated staring at phil because dan’s a troll
  • “i’m gonna choke myself. completely non-kink related. i just want death.”
  • peer pressuring phil into asking if duct tape was safe for bondage (why does dan want phil to know? the world may never solve this mystery)
  • “i dont like screaming that often.” all men do is lie
  • selling dan and phil’s souls to google
  • said thick (thicc) at the same time ://
  • dan has a feeding phil kink
  • if u aren’t focusing on dans creep face phil’s mouth actually opens really wide…
  • phil gets all blushy with pda
  • phil cant finish the video because he’s still eating
Teach Me How to Be Quiet

prompt:

genre: smut, fluff?, tiny bit of angst but it’s not a lot

warnings: teacher x teacher, blowjobs, deepthroating, public!kink, hs!au, phil not being good at all at keeping his composure

words: 1568

read on ao3!!!

a/n: so like i rly liked this prompt so i did it ehehe. i’m tired as heck, but hopefully if things go right i should be done with most hw tomorrow and i should have tgtbatd updated for yall on thursday :) thanks for being patient and also thank you for helping me reach my next hundred!!! enjoy <3333

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It’ll be like our videos in real life; things you like us doing, together, things we do on our own channels. It will be live and interactive. Our last stage show, a had a lot of story that was like sketch comedy, like a scripted narrative, we’re doing a bit less of that this time. So it’s a bit more live, real, interaction with people. It’s going to just be really, really funny. It’s not going to be scary to come, it’s a really wholesome environment. Like everyone is so nice. It's just like being part of this fandom in real life. Even if you don’t identify as someone that’s part of you know like “the phandom” or community. And you’re “I am a young adult viewer of YouTube and an individual who is not fan”, which you know I always respect. I don’t like using the f-words. You’ll realise this is like a crazy community full of people. It’s like a very wholesome party and you’ll legit have a great time. … There will be no non-consensual interaction, just lots of really funny bants, inspired by those of you who do want to contribute content to it.
— 

@danielhowell during his live show on the 18th of December 2017 (x)

Quotes from Dan (109/?)

Dan explaining the concept of his and Phil’s stage show Interactive Introverts - coming 2018. 

Picking Daisies, Picking People

Pairing: Daniel Howell & AmazingPhil (Phan)

Genre: Fluff, Pastel!Dan/Punk!Phil

Word Count: 1100

Summary: Dan has an obsessions with flowers. Phil can’t understand it. And so, Dan plans to explain in only the best way possible. 

Author Note: Shoutout to @pantsudan for the incredibly sweet prompt

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“This is my boyfriend Dan, by the way” || Dan Howell

A/N: This was a really nice request I got, thanks for that. Also the title is a little bit different. Have a nice weekend! 

Word Count: 1.5K

POV: Reader

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by shinyphan

It all started on a Saturday morning. I was sitting on the breakfast table by myself. I munched on some toast and checked my emails, like I do it every morning. A cup of hot black coffee was cooling off next to my laptop that was in front of me.

All of the new messages were mostly spam and some business stuff but one email in particular caught my eye. As soon as I saw the title I instantly clicked on it:

“High School Reunion”

Suddenly I was filled with excitement and resentment at the same time.

As my eyes scanned the invite over and over again I heard Dan enter the kitchen. He was wearing his pyjama that consisted of boxers and a loose t-shirt and his hair was a curly mess that still managed to look good.

We had been best friends for years now and shared a flat together in London. Dan noticed my startled expression and immediately asked what the matter was with me.  

My eyes were still glued to the words ‘Partners are welcome as well’ as I answered him.  That sentence alone made me want to not go.

“I was just sent an invite to a high school reunion.” I explained while taking a sip from my coffee.

The dark liquid was still hot and nicely warmed my throat.

Dan yawned and poured some of his favourite cereal into a bowl.

“Why do you look like you were invited to a funeral then?” he asked me confused, as he added the milk and sat down on the table next to me.

“It’s says we should bring our partners and I don’t want to show up alone.” I sighed, the taste of coffee was still lingering on my tongue. It was as bittersweet as I felt right now.

Dan put his spoon, that he was eating his cereal with, down to eye me intensively.

“Why don’t you want to go there on your own?” he asked me, cocking one eyebrow.

I felt myself getting a little bit nervous and abashed. I played with my hands and sighed.  

“I always got teased because I didn’t date a single guy during high school. I kinda promised myself that by the time the first reunion comes around I would have a boyfriend.” I admitted embarrassed and tried to hide my flushed face behind my hair.

There suddenly was a hint of a smile on his lips but it only lasted a few milliseconds.

“Forget it, it’s stupid.” I quickly told him, shaking my head eagerly. I half-heartedly laughed about myself as I hid my face in my hands.

“It’s definitely not stupid, Y/N. If it means so much to you then I could go with you, Y/N” Dan whispered as he gave me a short but warm hug.

“Really?” I asked him in surprise. Was he really suggesting that?

“I’d do quite a lot to make you happy, even pretend to be your boyfriend.” He smiled down at me as I whispered a sincere ‘thank you’ against his broad chest.

We were that kind of best friends that everybody mistook for a couple anyway. We were pretty affectionate towards each other, in a platonic way of course. Making it look like we were in a relationship was therefore not a very challenging task.

I was still nervous though when I got dressed the following Friday. I wanted to make an impression. I wanted people to look at me and think ‘wow, she really made it.’ I wanted to prove all of those people who never saw my potential in high school wrong.  

“It’s just your friends from high school, Y/N.” Dan tried to calm me down as he walked in with his car keys in his hands.

I obviously didn’t grow up in central London, where our flat was, but in a small town about an hour away.

“I had like 4 close friends in high school, Dan.” I reminded him laughing.

I never tried to be popular or fit in, I found 4 wonderful friends and that was totally enough for me. My high school times were therefore quite drama free except for the fact that I was occasionally made fun of and told that I would stay single forever, of course.

We left our shared flat and drove to the place where we were going to meet up.

As soon as we got out of the car again, Dan automatically took my hand as if it was a totally normal thing to do. I looked up at him in surprise and stared at him with wide eyes until I caught on to what was happening.

We were here together, Dan was the ‘partner’ I brought along with me.

“Ohh” I mouthed, feeling a little blush make its way onto my cheeks. I hadn’t really thought about that.

I shot Dan a nervous look before we walked into the restaurant together where most of my old classmates were already waiting for everybody to arrive.

He reassuringly intertwined our fingers, making me smile.

I saw a lot of familiar faces, some hadn’t changed at all, some changed a lot. I didn’t stay in touch with anybody from high school, so I hadn’t seen anyone in almost 10 years.

“Hey Everyone!” I greeted all of them cheerfully.

Their heads turned and they eagerly eyed Dan and I up and down.

“Y/N Y/L/N is that you?” Kimberly, who had always been the straight A student, asked.

“Yeah, it’s me. C’mon I haven’t changed that much, have I? This is my boyfriend Dan, by the way.”

The last sentence felt weird and at the same time so… natural? Dan’s face beamed as the word ‘boyfriend’ left my mouth and I couldn’t hold back a sweet smile either. He said his greetings as well before we sat down at the huge table.

After everyone had arrived we ordered some drinks and started chatting. Everybody was asked to talk about what they have been up to since we all finished high school.

Then it was suddenly my turn.  

“Well… I work as a lawyer for Youtube and me and Dan live in London now.” I told everybody.

Most people seemed impressed by the words Youtube, London and lawyer. Our home town was quite small and boring. London on the other hand being a beautiful big city sounded exciting.

“You studied law?” Somebody asked and I nodded.

“Yes, at Manchester University, that’s where I met Dan.” I smiled up at my tall ‘boyfriend’.

“So, are you a lawyer as well, Daniel?” Stacy, one of our former cheerleaders asked.

Dan was definitely getting some attention from the female part of our group. I protectively placed my hand on his thigh to show everyone that he was with me… which he actually wasn’t.

In reaction, he showed me his famous half smirk, as if he were saying ‘jealous much?’. I rolled my eyes at him but we both knew that he was right deep down.

“I’m not.” Dan laughed at the thought. “I finished like one semester before I dropped out. I’m a Youtuber now. That’s how me and Y/N met again.”

I could tell that Dan was feeling awkward once again because he didn’t know if people understood his profession.

Luckily though most people did and were now really interested in what Dan was doing.

He was asked all sorts of questions, and most of the conversations were focused on the two of us now since everybody treated Dan like he was a super famous celebrity and those were extremely rare in my old hometown.

I was very proud of Dan while he explained his job and passion. He then talked about me and how we met and that honestly made my heart melt. Could this really be? Who knew that I had feelings like that for my best friend? Everybody but us two probably.

“Who would have thought that you Y/N, out of all people, would hit the jackpot.” Stacy uttered completely stunned and barely able to keep her eyes off Dan.

“Nah, I feel like I was the one who hit the jackpot.” he softly said, while looking at me with loving eyes. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as some people around us ‘awwed’.

“Dan, stop it.” I whined smiling and gently hit his chest before I leaned my head against his broad shoulder. We were behaving like two lovey dovey teenagers, which we, let’s be real, probably really were.  

“You two are perfect for each other.” Kimberly swooned like some of Dan’s fans on tumblr.

Dan and I’s gazes met as we both blushed.

“We are.” Dan whispered into my ear, making my heart skip a beat.

pastelxpunk (3) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: December 5th, 2017

part one, part two

Clumsy Howell and Bad Boy Phil - cutesy-phan-fiction

Summary: Tough Punk Phil and Clumsy Pastel Goth Dan.

Comets Falling (ao3) - howelllesters

Summary: This catches up with the Dan and Phil of the Modern Fairytale universe roughly a year later, and shows a very key moment in their relationship through little snapshots.

Die Young - phansbumsex

Summary: Pastel!Dan came to the bar with his husband to unwind, but ditches him for the punk hottie across the bar with the tattoos and piercings.

Disgusting - lesterkinky

Summary: punk!dan is disgustingly in love with pastel!phil but phil isnt really convinced.

Don’t - gorgeousdan

Summary: Pastel!Dan spends the weekend at his hot older boyfriend, punk!Phil’s, house and gets rimmed for the first time.

Falling For You - jentin

Summary: pastel!dan/punk!phil.

Flower Boy - jilliancares

Summary: Pastel!Dan is sitting in a park alone after getting broken up with picking the petals off flowers. He doesn’t realize there’s a protest being led by Phil to help protect plants and trees from being torn down and such so without realizing Dan was crying Phil yells at Dan for killing those flowers.

Gay Fairies (ao3) - moonythejedi394

Summary: Everyone knew of Phil Lester’s deep hatred for Dan Howell. Everyone knew that Dan Howell was the gayest gay man to ever gay. Everyone assumed that Phil hated Dan because Dan would not stop hitting on Phil, and everyone agreed that even they would be irritated by that much flirting, however everyone did not know or even guess that Phil Lester really hated Dan Howell so much because Phil actually wanted to make out with him.

Just a Little Tummy Ache - elliesfics

Summary: Phil meets Dan in probably the most unconventional way. And despite being polar opposites, maybe they’re more alike than they ever thought. The biggest difference? Dan can’t tell a tummy ache apart from a different kind of ‘ache’. Perhaps too innocent for his own good, until he meets Phil that is.

Looks Can Be Deceiving (ao3) - Bbkkgg30

Summary: The new kid that scares everyone because of his looks teaches Dan that you really shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.

Nerves - kitters

Summary: Pastel!Dan is working in a Lush retail shop in London when approached by Punk!Phil, who is looking for some eyeliner.

Never Underestimate the New Kid - sexyassphan

Summary: Dan is super small and pastel and Phil is huge and punk and someone insults Dan and Phil stands up, which everyone takes as a sign that Phil is going to kick the person’s butt except his just takes Dan’s flower crown and Dan beats them up.

Painting Phil - gracefulphangirl

Summary: Punk!Phil goes to pastel!Dan’s house so that he can return Dan’s flower crown and get his bandana back, and he ends up staying for a little longer than planned.

Picking Daisies, Picking People - elliesfics

Summary: Dan has an obsessions with flowers. Phil can’t understand it. And so, Dan plans to explain in only the best way possible.

Punish Me - your-precious-phan-blog

Summary: Rich!Businessman!Punk!Phil being Pastel!Litte! Dan’s daddy.

This Is What It Felt Like - melancholymango

Summary: After their hasty hook-up in a bathroom stall at a bar, Dan and Phil are on their way back to Phil’s apartment to see through what they started. (AKA punk!phil taking pastel!dan’s virginity)

We’re Okay, Bear - thetickleeraven

Summary: Dan’s crying after an encounter with a bully and Phil’s there to defend him and cheer him up.

Work In Progress - oakleysfthoying

Summary: pastel!Dan is dating punk!Phil and finally comes out to his parents, but they aren’t exactly supportive, but Phil is there to comfort Dan.