dan explain

Omg my dad’s step brother is named Dan and my daughter has never met him and we’re going to this family BBQ and my dad was talking about how Dan is coming and she overheard and went “DAN IS COMING???” and then I had to explain “no not that dan” she’s very disappointed

How Dan and Phil probably broke up #68
  • <p> <b></b> *during a petty argument*<p/><b>Phil:</b> well, I'm older<p/><b>Dan:</b> I'm taller<p/><b>Phil:</b> I'm longer<p/><b>Dan:</b> No you're not? I just said I'm taller<p/><b>Phil:</b> That's not what I meant<p/></p>

anonymous asked:

sooo i don't really have a question but i would like an analysis of the new amazingphil video if you have one,, or just your favorite moments, idk i just want you to talk about it, i love your "reviews"

hahaha of course i’ll talk about it!!!!! it’s interesting bc when i first watched this i was actually like not that into it??? it just felt like 10 very calm and chill mins of dnp hanging out which is obviously great but i think i was sort of distracted so i was like mmmm it wasn’t as entertaining as their usual collabs, esp bc on first watch i was like, dan keeps going for these weird dark jokes about torture n maiming and it’s all v Standard Fare but then i thought about it more and realized ,, if this isn’t the biggest evidence yet about how far they’ve come and evolved since last year then idk what is??? like i just can’t believe it’s gotten to the point where i could watch 10 minutes of dan softly playing around with phil’s hair and both of them being a bit calmer and more muted in front of the camera, freely touching each other and joking around about more Mature Themes (hats off to the dildo joke and the “safety word” bit) and have all of that feel completely STANDARD and unsurprising!!! it’s just crazy to me that they’ve normalized these behaviors so much that a video like this could feel so completely expected and ~chill~ 

but then i watched it a second and third time (bc duh) when i was less distracted and there really were so many little moments that stood out to me and so many cute smiles and soft lil jokes that made me wanna melt and it was all just so good. it’s nowhere near their funniest or most captivating video but it’s just vv vv v v soft and chill and natural. when comparing it to something like pastel edits which is probs a close parallel in terms of them playing dress up and touching each other a bit in direct response to a fan request, you can see how this one is far softer and a little bit less performed–they seem less ‘on’ for lack of a better term, and a lot more laid back, dan doesn’t spend as much time demeaning the idea or teasing the fan base for wanting it, and all of it is just so enjoyable to watch. i’ve included (way too many) timestamps below (plus way too many screenshots, as usual, of stupidly cute moments ugh): 

  • 5 seconds in this is already alarmingly cute w dan grumbling behind the pillow that phil wants to give him a creative nickname and phil giggling and looking down at him when he starts complaining
  • :17 dan gives phil permission to just call him dan and phil looks cute n happy about it
  • :27 dan needs to reiterate he was a nerd in school
  • :34 ‘japes’ k dan
  • :48 i live for the way phil looks so earnest and excited when he asks dan why he decided to ‘embrace the curls’ like he genuinely wants to hear dan explain this .. phil is genuinely obsessed w dan’s curls he wasn’t lyin when he said that in the pastel edits vid :(
  • 1:00 i hope phil was the one who chose that photo as an example of dan’s hair looking good in a pic,, phil thinks dan’s best look is his crunchy 2013 leather jacket n his scoop neck t shirt … #confirmed
  • 1:10 ‘you’ve left me alone!’ calm down phil he’s right next to u
  • 1:12 did phil pick that photo too ..  the one of dan in his tank top n hair straightened to within an inch of its life and silvery earrings making a pouty face ,,, lmao i love that he’s picking the cringiest emo-est throwbacks possible
  • 1:54 phil’s like ‘i thought we could eat 400 crusts to see if my hair goes curly’ and it’s altogether a lame joke but dan is staring at him like he’s the most beautiful person on earth. i’d be uncomfortable if i wasn’t so busy melting. then phil stares at dan giggling and it’s all a bit much for me
  • 2:41 ‘what’d happen if i balded you right now?’ dan is so concerned for phil’s well-being that he forgets how to grammar
  • 2:45 the fuckin dildo joke i s2g why are they making sly references to dildos in a g-rated hair curling video why did phil immediately follow dan saying ‘that looks like something else’ by going ‘ooo’ and shoving the curler near dan’s mouth why are they gross
  • 3:21 dan unnecessarily rubbing the curler all over phil’s shoulder and neck … ok
  • 3:41 phil sounds so serious when he asks dan if he thinks the curly hair will suit him, like he really needs dan’s Hot Take on this important issue but dan’s just shuts him down hahaha. i feel like this is reminiscent of the faceapp vid in which dan was completely NOT DOWN with any alteration to phil’s appearance whatsoever bc (vom) he thinks phil is perf jst the way he is (i might actually be sick) 
  • 3:47 idk why but i’m obsessed w phil saying ‘dan, don’t mess about with it’ and dan responding ‘i’m nOT’ in his whiny voice w his eyes all wide. cute
  • 3:56 lmao dan bringing up babuse (i can’t type that without thinking of ‘let me see that babussy’ i hate the fucking internet) and saying it was the last time he was on this bed, i am living for these bants and also phil’s expression of mock horror
  • 4:08 ‘curl me up, bess’
  • 4:11 dan’s going for ‘teen nick jonas but without the face’ his crush is going strong i see,, and then he can’t even follow through and tell phil his face doesn’t compare to nick jonas’s so he turns it into a joke about burning his face instead, nice save bro
  • 4:27 THIS KILLED ME THEYRE JST TALKING N DAN JUST BRUSHES ASIDE A BIT OF PHILS FRINGE FOR NO REASON AT ALL HE JST WANTS TO PLAY W HIS HAIR ITS CUTE N IM DYIN
  • 5:01 something about this bit when dan’s like ‘got a whole clump it’s undignified’ and their proximity, the way their arms are sort of pressed together and it looks like dan could be resting his hand on phil’s leg and dan is also sort of just looking down at phil ,,, Good
  • 5:08 when phil kinda squeaks and pulls away all of a sudden i feel like dan is legit actually concerned he could burn phil as evidenced by his voice going all high pitched when he’s like ‘you can’t do that!!!!’
  • 5:13 more completely unnecessary dan playing around w phil’s fringe n brushing it away. it goes on for like 8 seconds plus there’s a jump cut in the middle of it lmao,,, ugh the way he touches phil’s hair is so soft it makes me feel things
  • 5:32 ‘gonna pork you up phil’ does dan know the meaning of ‘pork’ as a verb ??  ? ? ??? ??????  for reference:
  • 5:36 ‘my life is flashing before my eyes’ ‘ooo is it really boring’ dan is showing yet again that he flirts like a five year old who pulls their crush’s pigtails in the playground grOW UP MATE. phil loves it tho
  • 6:03 omg idk why but i LOVED phil saying ‘i’m finding you so disturbing right now’ it feels so authentic??? something about the way he phrased it is so funny??????? like he genuinely needs dan to take it down a notch w the grim humor lmao
  • 6:47 ‘we need a safety word’ oh my god these boring vanilla fucks call a safe word a ‘safety word’ could they be LAMER hahaha (in all seriousness i can’t even believe that’s a joke dan went for at all let alone on this channel and that phil just chuckled n went along with it what the fuck what a time we live in honestly,, the flirting and touching and the whole premise of a dan-curls-phil’s-hair video is already so much but, like, let’s just add a fucking allusion to bdsm into the mix while we’re at it!!!!!!! wtf!!!)
  • the whole sped up montage of dan doing the curling is just rife w gratuitous hair touching so like obvi i immediately turned the speed down to .5 and just sat back to enjoy it (also @kay-okays uploaded a slowed down version here if ya wanna look at that or like bookmark it for ur own uses ,,  whatever ur into m8)
  • 7:18 those two gentle pats that dan gives to the back of phil’s head before phil looks at his finished hair … so fucking adorable bc it’s the way dan pats down his own hair when he’s fixing it pls save me
  • 7:29 dan obvi needs to make it a point to emphasize they have the same hair again as has been his constant refrain about their haircuts for the last like 3 years (tbh i’m convinced that he literally misses having the same hair as phil which is gross and just as sappy as i’d expect from him) and in order to demonstrate how ALIKE they are again he proceeds to mirror phil playing w his fringe bc why not .. 
  • ‘this was the only thing that was separating us’ PLS
  • 7:38 dan’s Hot Take 2.0: ‘you look like a cool australian surfer … like a weird goth one that has never been to the beach’
  • 8:14 dan asserts on phil’s behalf that phil ‘needs’ the edge of his emo fringe and phil immediately agrees. rip to anyone who was hoping quiff!phil might be on the horizon
  • 8:39 dan goes defensive about how he could’ve done a better job and phil immediately jumps in to say that he thinks dan did well in the most sincere voice of all time, accompanied w cute/soft smile
  • and then he cuts dan off entirely to remind him that he didn’t burn phil’s face off and to v fervently thank him (he litro NODS while he thanks him it’s so SERIOUS) and then dan does some weird touchy thing to phil’s chest or arm or both and phil decides to boop dan’s cheek and you should really SLOW IT DOWN bc when you do, you notice it’s more of like a lil squeeze as opposed to just a v light tap and it’s gROSS:
  • 8:59 then, since this video has far too much dan gratuitously touching phil and phil was surely feeling deprived, phil reaches over to give dan a ‘zayn curl’ and play w dan’s fringe a bit n at this point i’ve had Enough of this cute ass shit
  • 9:20 dan couldn’t just leave it there, he needs to take a moment to re-assert the ~dnp don’t go outside or go to parties or talk to people Ever~ branding just in case ANYONE forgot (but also seems like a low key way for dan to gently remind the audience not to get attached to this in any way bc it will probs never happen again)
  • 9:40 phil dubs dan the “original curly man” n idk how to feel about this but i suppose that is a fitting conclusion to this absolute roller coaster of emotions 

ugh. just a really great video. i’m sorry this post is massive,, there’s jst so much here and i needed to have pics of ALL OF IT

(dan curls my hair!

The Girlfriend Tag

Originally posted by arophan

Imagine: You and Dan decide to give the fans what they want, and cute video of the internents favourite couple

A/N: I know this isn’t any thing about marvel but I couldn’t help myself, I’ve been watching all of Dan and hil’s videos and getting so many feelis. I just had to. Also I really should be doinf my German coursework, bit too late, Dan is more important

Warnings: Some swearing, implied smut but just fluff really

Word Count: 1955 (got a little carried away)


“Hello internet” Dan starts off with his iconic opener

“Today, I am joined by the wonderful Y/N, who you may also know as my girlfriend!” He exclaimed, giving out a laugh as your cue to jump into the camera view.

“Hey guys” You giggled, getting comfortable next to Dan

“Now you may be wondering what original video I have for you today, and let me tell you, it doesn’t get more original than this”

“We are doing the girlfriend tag!” You almost shouted, causing Dan to let out a rather loud groan.

“Jeez, lets tone it now my channel isn’t used to your happy attitude just yet” He joked, covering his ears

“Just because you literally only have the feeling of embarrassment, doesn’t mean I can’t be happy” You fire back, sending a smirk in his direction.

“Oh God, too much sass. I want Phil back” Your dork of a boyfriend joked

“Shut up, we kind of have a part of Phil with us now” You explained

“Really how so?” Dan played along

“Well, he did do the questions for us to answer”

“God knows what kind of weird stuff he has put in here; I don’t know if you guys have noticed but Phil is like obsessed with sharing our relationship with others. If he isn’t taking sneaky photos of us and tweeting them, then he is jumping into a room when we are together doing a live stream of us.”

As Dan continued to talk about his best friend, you couldn’t help but admire his perfect features. His big, wide smile that would light up a room. His unusually large dimple that you found so adorable. How he is constantly touching and checking if his hair looks okay, which of course it does. And his dark drowns eyes, that you could stare into for days.

“..Y/n?” You were abruptly ripped out of your thoughts by Dan waving a hand in front of your face

“Sorry” You blushed, red staining your cheeks as you realised Dan caught you staring at him and will most definitely keep this part in his video, because, well let’s face it, a bit of an arse.

“What were you so caught up about?”

“Just admiring the view” You jokingly sent back and big wink. Now it was Dan’s’ turn to blush, whist also letting out a laugh

“That was so cringe, I might just have to take it out of the video.” Dan spoke to the camera; he was definitely not taking that part out.

“Right so to start this video I’m going to put my hand into the hat and pull out a question. The questions are basically letting you guys know even more about our relationship and hopefully teaching us a bit more about each other” Dan explained.

“Ohhhh can I go first?” You excitedly asked. You couldn’t help it, there was something so fun about doing a video with your boyfriend.

“Of course”

You dove your hand into the hat, grabbing the first folded piece of paper you felt and pulled it out.

“Alright it says, ‘Where was our first kiss?’” For the second time you felt your cheeks heat up.

“I’m going to be so red this whole video, reckon you could like put a filter on me to make me look better?” You joked, however it wasn’t such a bad idea.

Dan laughed, before saying

“So do you want to answer or me?”

“You do it” You always loved hearing Dan talk about your relationship

“Alright, I remember it was our second date and we were just hanging in the living room eating pizza talking after just finishing up on the X-box. I was so nervous, just thinking about leaning in and possibly facing rejection and ruining it all. But then you made a joke out about anime and I knew I had to do it before someone else snatched you away” Dan smiled at the memory, you beaming right back at him.

“Then he just leant in and kissed me, obviously I didn’t turn down that face and now here we are two years later” You finished, butterflies erupting in your stomach at the fond memory.

“OK, next question” Dan stuck his hand in the hat rather ungracefully causing a few questions to topple out.

“Shit” he mumbled, throwing back three in the hat and reading out the remaining one on the floor.

“Finish this sentence ‘My girlfriend is a complete…..’” Dan stopped to think for a minute, you couldn’t help but anxiously wait for what he was going to say

“…..twat” He finally spoke. This caused you both to simultaneous burst out into a fit of laughter, clutching your stomach you couldn’t be surprised at what Dan said, it was so him. You knew Dan loved you with everything he had, it was very obvious. You guys didn’t have a mushy gushy relationship, it was more full of lots of jokes and banter, you guys were basically best friends,

“You are such and arse, why am I dating you?” You tried to sound upset, but the smile that you couldn’t wipe off your face gave it all away.

“You loveeeeee me really” He rather obnoxiously sung

“Actually Babe, I’m secretly in love with Phil and I only come round to your house on the chance that I will see my one true love” You lied, not helping but feel a bit weird by saying you like Phil, who was basically like a brother to you.

“That’s just mean, and a little gross” He complained

“Yeah I know; I have no clue why I said it” you giggled

“Right, my turn” You plunged your hand into the hat, pulling one out to read.

“‘Who wears the pants in the relationship?’ Ohh that’s hard” You thought.

“I know my answer” Dan said confidently

“Really? Alright let’s say our answers on three. One, two, three.”

This caused both of you to say ‘me’ at the same time.

“You’re kidding me right?” You said in disbelief to Dan

“What? Love, I’m always making the decisions”

“Babe, I literally always have to order for us at the cinema because you’re ‘too awkward to talk to new people’”

“Alright, alright I’ll give you that one, no need to share all my secrets on my channel”

Dan took out another piece of paper from the hat, causing yet again one to fall out.

“God, it’s clear to see who the clumsiest one of us is. And that’s hard because I could fall over standing still” You poked out at Dan.
“Leave me alone, you are so mean. So it says, ohhh this is interesting, ‘who is more jealous’?” Dan read.

“Ohhh, that is” You both took a minute to think about it, recalling moments when the other has been jealous. Most of these moments resulting in some seriously fun times together, and just by looking at Dan and the lazy smirk he wore you knew he was thinking about them. You kicked him in the shins, under the view of the camera causing him to jump a little, then answering.

“I feel like you get jealous more often, but it’s not as intense as when I get jealous.”
“Hmmm, yeah I reckon that’s fair to say.” You repeated, it wasn’t hard constantly having beautiful girls running up to your boyfriend, telling him how hot and sometimes the daring ones flirting with him. However, it had happened a few times when we were hanging around with Dan’s friends and one flirts with you, he gets mad.

“We only have a couple questions left” You sadly exclaimed, not wanting this video to be over.

“Let’s hope we haven’t saved the weirdest till last then!” Dan deadpanned

Grabbing one of the last pieces of paper you unfold it and read,

“‘what do I find really fun, that no one else really does?’” You laughed lightly at this weird question, thinking Dan would need a while on this one.

“You watch pimple popping videos” He answered straight away. You sat there with your mouth hanging open, a blush adorned on your cheeks,

“How did you know that? I always try to keep it on the down low” You exclaimed, shocked and slightly embarrassed that he knew

“Sweetheart, we’ve been going out for 2 years, we’ve been living together for 1, there is little that I don’t know about you”

“That’s kind of creepy and really cute at the same time. I knew I chose you for a reason” You hummed

“I’m not some Pokémon woman, don’t objectify me like that” He fired back

“Shut up and read the last question. Because as much as I love doing videos with you I need to cook us dinner, and get it done so it’s ready when Phil comes back from visiting his family.

“Aw look at you, you are literally the only reason we have survived this long. Anyway, here we go and I won’t knock out another question this time.” He took his time in dramatically picking out the question.

“Oh for god’s sake Phil, he’s such a child. It says ‘when did the two of you first sleep together?’”

A deep shade of red engulfs your face and you looked over at Dan with your mouth wide.

“What the hell, he did not just ask that?” You said shocked.

“Yeah you’re right, I’m joking. Lol” Dan admits, handing over the question for you to read aloud.

“It says, ‘Who/When fist said I love You?’ Now that is a cute question” You cooed, recalled that cherished memory that you held very close to your heart.

“Well, I don’t want to spill all the beans about our relationship just yet, so all that you guys will be knowing is that, Y/N said it first. Maybe we can do another gushy relationship story about that some other time. But for now that’s it.” Dan finished off the video and looked at you to continue.

“Thanks guys for watching hope you enjoyed it, and if you did please subscribe and request some more ideas of what we can do next. Byeeee” You finished

“That was so much fun” You turned to Dan, who was already lovingly gazing at you.

“You know I love you right?” He spoke

“Of course, and you know I love you too, so much” You replied inching your face closer to his.

“You know when you told me you loved me, when we were just lying in bed cuddling watching Breaking Bad, I think that that’s the happiest I’ve ever felt.” He confessed. As much as you loved the banter and jokes in this relationship, nothing felt better than Dan confessing his feelings to your, he really did complete you.

“I was so nervous that I had said it too soon, but I’m so glad one of us plucked up the courage to say it” You murmured, now lips a mere centimeter away from each other.

Dan quickly closed the gap between the two of you and soon had his hand on the back of your head pulling you closer. Automatically you brought your hands up to caress his cheeks and you two shared one of the most passionate kisses in your relationship.

Dan gently pushed you back onto the bed and slipped his hand down to your waist, when you suddenly remembered something.

“Dan the camera is still on!”

“Oh fuck yeah, thank God it isn’t a live stream” He jumped up to turn the camera off, leaving it on the side to edit later.

But he only had one thought on his mind now. You. Jumping back next to you on the bed you two finished off what you had started