dan can you see into my mind or something

Mugs and Sippy Cups

Words: 2,776

Summary: Dan and Phil are in a dd/lb relationship, in which Dan is the little. Early mornings combined with accidents cause Dan to believe he’s going to be punished, sending him straight into his headspace and filled with worry. Luckily, Phil is there to sort things out for him.

Warnings: swearing, small blood mentions, minor injury

a/n: shame me if u want tbh,,, i just wanted some nonsexual little!dan and daddy!phil fight me

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mairenyaf  asked:

If im being honest, its not even about shipping Phan anymore. its the fact that I cant imagine them not being together, or with someone else. like i literally can not even see it in my head, i just cant. im ok with them being platonic and everything but just the thought of one of them moving out to live alone or with another person gives me anxiety. sometimes i just start thinking of them going their separate ways and i just start tearing up out nowhere.

I honestly feel the exact same way as you do my friend. 

When the whole phangate thing was happening, it was so hard to picture Phil with a wife and not living with Dan. That just seems so weird to me. They really are meant to be with each other, no matter which way you look at it.

I think within this point in time, the term of “shipping” isn’t even relevant anymore because shipping is when you want two people to be together and to do those things, but as far as we know they DO do those things. They’re always fucking together. They have lived together for nearly, what, 6 years? How they get along with each other so swimmingly for that long amount of time Boggles my mind. 

They’re yin and yang, Dan and Phil. Without the other they wouldn’t work. They’re each others lives and we see that. To think that they could move out from one another is just uncanny. Why would you want to move away from something that keeps you sane? That keeps you grounded? They’re like a well oiled machine, why would they want to leave that? 

They love each other, and you can depict that in any form you’d like, but they really do love each other. It’s not something you force or you fake or to make a brand about. “the light and warmth you bring us is as everlasting as the sun” like wtf?? You can’t not tell me that Dan didn’t mean that with all his heart because he did. He wasn’t typing that tweet for anyone besides himself and for Phil.

They won’t move out from each other. Dan has never lived on his own before, his only flat mate has been Phil Lester. He’s paid bills with Phil Lester. Phil had to teach him how to adult. They taught each other. How to be okay with things and little breaks and that when there’s bugs in the room or when there’s a glass that shatters or when the plants don’t get watered they can deal with it together. 

Because no one else in the world will have that type of connection with them than what they have with each other. 

Nous Academy

Summary: Dan’s family has been hiding his secret for fifteen years, but finally the government finds out and sends him to a school with others who are similar. (Phan Superpower AU!)

The building was surrounded by moss covered stone walls and a large steel gate. There was a beautiful fountain that looked a bit newer than the rest of the property in the front. The building itself was several stories high, made of strong granite. It looked like something from a story book of sorts, probably having been built hundreds of years ago.

Dan hated it.

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anonymous asked:

No daytopic Dan,sorry. I just looked at the OA lyrics and I thought of something.He says: "Open up your eyes,shut your mouth and see That I'm just the only one who's been in love with me",It sounds like he finally says,its a pain in the ass,that everyone talk about his wannabe relationships. And then: "I'm just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth And there's nothing I can do about it" It's obvious that he's annoyed about the rumors but he need the press also. It's went through my mind.

His career needs the press. xx

Bear

summary: Dan stays at Phil’s house for the first time and leaves his bear at home. At first he can’t sleep, but he ends up with a very pleasant surprise.

genre: fluffy as heck

warnings: none

word count: 1072

thanks to @phaninfariland for being an awesome beta!

read on ao3


Dan looked around with wide eyes. He still couldn’t believe he was in AmazingPhil’s bedroom. He knew Phil was real by now—if their many Skype calls over the past few months hadn’t already convinced him, their meeting at the train station did. All he needed were Phil’s arms wrapped tightly around him and hearing his name breathed onto his neck as they took in each other’s physical presences for the very first time.

And now here he was, surrounded by the familiar blue and green that was at once comforting and slightly nerve-wracking. Because the train ride from Reading to Manchester was so long, they didn’t get much time together that first day, but they had already spent most of it talking about everything they could think of and watching movies on the sofa, snuggled up next to each other under blankets to fend off the October chill.

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For @darkeneddaybreak, for the Christmas Truce gift exchange!  Hope you like it!  (Apologies for the enormous liberties I took with the human skeletal system.)  Merry Christmas if you observe it, happy holidays if not!

Prompt: I asked for this last year, too, but I’m really interested to see how other people might interpret/design a more monsterish version of Danny. Can you see his skeleton through his skin? Does he get fangs or something like Vlad or dark Dan? Whatever they decide to do, something that makes Danny a little– or a lot– freakier than normal. Also I’d prefer if Danny was sane and sweet, but I wouldn’t mind a little angst/horror either (like blood or ectoplasm on the mouth or something). It’s really up to them, though. :)

I also wrote a little companion fic to go with the drawing, which can be found here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5526140

anonymous asked:

Hi i asked about blogs not tagging phan. My goal really is to follow people who might have intriguing asks they don't tag as #phan or posts of deppy they might not want a large audience to see. I'm all about giving credit where it's due, but i would think that some blogs might not want their posts in places that can easily be found through mainstream tags, and idk they might not want deppy to see what they post if they're bridging gaps between speculation and the youtubers' comfort

Gotcha - I wasn’t sure if you meant specifically phan as the tag, or just in general tagging asks to indicate they’re phan. I mean - I obviously don’t tag my asks ‘phan’ unless it’s something I’ve thought about and don’t mind going in the tag. 

Though I will say that’s less out of consideration for Dan and Phil and more out of consideration for not spamming a bunch of asks in a row. They track their name tags, I don’t believe they track phan. And if they do, I kind of consider that on them; phan is a ship name, there’s no way around that. If I do tag something as phan, and only phan, and they still end up seeing that - then it’s because they sought it out and not because I tried to put it in front of them. 

As far as actual recs for blogs like that…. hmm, lemme think about it. 

breaking

warning: depersonalisation disorder triggers.

Oh god. Not now. You pleaded with your tear ducts but they ignored you and continued filling your eyes with the salty liquid threatening to spill over and down your cheeks. You tried burying your face in Dan’s side while you composed yourself. Luckily for you, he didn’t react other than using his free hand to rub your knee under the duvet affectionately while he continued working. It was a typical night in Dan’s apartment, you were both in his bed, your shared playlist of slow songs played quietly from the speaker on the nightstand, he was on his laptop working away at something and you had just closed your book and were snuggling into him and preparing for sleep. Except tonight, your brain had other ideas, or more specifically, the little ill part had decided it was time to conquer the rest of it again. You had felt yourself slipping for over a week and now here you were. Back in the same place you were months ago. This time, you had a psychologist and Dan on your side, and you had prayed to God it was enough. But the prayers had been futile. And tonight the little thing controlling your head had decided it was time to make some decisions.
You could cling to Dan as much as you wanted, but nothing was going to take the numbness away. Not this time. Not ever. It didn’t matter how much he supported and comforted you, even his love couldn’t fix the disease in your mind. Today was the worst it had been for a while, so much so that even Dan’s hands felt wrong to you. His perfect face was hazy and slightly out of focus, as was the rest of your world. But nobody, not even Dan, noticed the transition into this episode. Because nobody ever did, and that was the thing with depersonalisation disorder; your responses and interactions became automated and felt pre-programmed, so much so that no behavioural change could be detected by an outsider. The overwhelming mental, physical and emotional apathy and lethargy was obvious only to you. You were emotionless and you didn’t care about anything anymore. Not even Dan.
How could you be with someone you loved if you couldn’t bring yourself to care about their feelings and needs? Your relationship with Dan was built on honesty and mutualism in all aspects - but how could you honestly say that you didn’t care about him right now and expect him to be fine with that? You couldn’t be with him right now. You needed to control your head first. Maybe you should take a break. But a break would only lead to breaking - up, hearts, promises, trust. The thing about Dan was that he would do everything he could to fix you but what hurt was that there was nothing he could do without making it worse. And that’s why you were here, trying your very best not to cry into his pyjama shirt. At the worst moment possible, Dan closed his laptop and placed it on the floor before rolling over to face you and kiss your forehead.
“Goodnight kitten. I love you,” he murmured, smiling against your skin.
You absolutely lost it.
“Y/n, what’s wrong?”
He sat up and looked at you concernedly, tucking your hair behind your ear with a frown. You covered your face with your hands and shrugged, totally unable to make any sound other than shuddering sobs. Dan had experienced this reaction from you before, and went into panicked parent mode, proceeding with the routine questions to which you nodded or shook your head in answer.
“Are you in physical pain?”
No.
“Is there something I can do or get for you right now? Do you need something urgently?”
Debatable, but for the sake of the argument, no. Dan began relaxing, his panic subsiding upon realising that it wasn’t an emergency. He squeezed your hand gently.
“Is it something I’ve done?”
No. God no.
“Is it your head?”
Yes. The sobs began to rise.
“Oh, kitten. Shhh, come here,” he helped you sit up and pulled you into his arms, cradling you and kissing your forehead.
“I’m here. I’m listening, even to your silence, I’m here,” he whispered between tender kisses while he traced soothing circles on your arm.
Eventually you began to form words.
“I just don’t know what to do.”
“Is Nigel back?”
Nigel was the code name for your DPD that you shared only with Dan. Nigel was the little man sitting at the back of your brain playing around with the controls because he had no friends or life or anything better to do, so he dropped in occasionally. He was never welcome.
You simply nodded.
“Fucking Nigel” Dan muttered, attempting to get you to smile. It usually worked, but today nothing was helping.
“Dan, I-” you began and stopped.
“Yes?” He prompted patiently.
“I don’t know if I can stay.”
“Y/n of course you don’t have to stay here. I can take you home right now if that’s what you want-”
“No. I mean I don’t know if I can stay with you.”
You might as well have slapped him across the face. You watched him, sent reeling into shock by your words, struggling to string a sentence together.
“I- what?”
He looked at you in pure disbelief.
“I’m so sorry. I just- my head is a mess and I don’t care enough about you right now for us to be together. It’s a one-sided relationship. You’re so loving and supportive and caring and I- I just can’t reciprocate, Dan, I’m sorry. I’m being so selfish, by hurting you like this but more so by holding on. I literally cannot return the affection. Not right now.”
“I- y/n, what are you saying?”
You took a deep shaky breath.
“I’m saying that I think we should take a break. And I know a break is going to break more things than can be fixed later on but this- this won’t work. Not with this headspace. I’m sorry. I love you so much, I truly do. I don’t want to lose you, Dan. But I really think this is for the best. Until I can fix my head.”
Dan was cupping your cheeks, holding your head steady, his eyes desperately searching for something in yours, something that told him you weren’t serious. He didn’t find anything, and you could see the telltale glistening of tears coat his irises before he closed his eyes and lowered his forehead to yours.
Finally he spoke. It was choked, but impressively steady.
“If a break is really what you need, a break is what we’ll have. I’m not trying to change your mind, but please, tell me why you think this is a good idea.”
“Because I can’t give you what you need, Dan. I’m bad for you, I’m negativity, I’m toxic energy you don’t deserve. You need love too, and right now I can’t give that to you.” He pulled back and smiled. Slightly hysterical, but it was a smile.
“Y/n. God, you’re so pure. You want to take a break for my wellbeing?”
You nodded and he chuckled.
“I’m fine, don’t worry about me. Yes, everyone needs love, but I don’t want it from anyone else. I know you think you can’t fulfil your part in this relationship right now but you can, by just existing. Where you are right now isn’t who you are. As long as I can be there for you, that’s all that I need. To know that you’re ok. What good would it do if we separated if there’s still love here? No. I’ll wait for you to get better. I’ll do whatever I can to fix this.” He tucked that strand of hair behind your ear again and gently tilted your chin up to look at him.
“I don’t know how long you’ll be waiting. And that’s a lot to ask of you-”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t love you any less. It’s only how you feel that matters. You’re all I need. I’ll be there. I promise.”
You nodded, and removed his hands from your cheeks before hugging him tight.
“I really love you” you whispered.
“I really love you too.” He stroked your hair and kissed your temple while you broke down for the second time that night. Only this time, it was because you couldn’t fathom what you had done to deserve him.

anonymous asked:

Can I have a number 3 with phan please ? 😘

Title: Stressed Out

Summary: Phil is stressed out about school work and getting little sleep, so Dan wants to do something with Phil to take his mind off of it. teacher!phil, student!dan.

Word Count: 885

SEND ME A SHIP AND A NUMBER AND I’LL WRITE A SHORT FIC

-

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Seventeen

Could you do a fic based on the song Seventeen from Heathers? Idec what genre tbh. Love your writing <3<3

 A/N: So I’m back and I think I learned a lesson in that I shouldn’t share anything about myself, my personal life, or my frustrations on this blog. You guys follow me to read stuff and I know you don’t care so if I’m feeling bummed about something I shouldn’t try to vent about it here, so it won’t happen again. However though, in the future, for those that follow me I’d appreciated it if you don’t send rude messages. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything. Anyway, enough said. Here’s a fic.

“Uggggh!” the loud groan coming from the upstairs office snaps you awake. You wipe the drool from your mouth, and look around the room, realizing you’ve fallen asleep while eating chili fries on your boyfriend’s couch while he’s upstairs editing a video. You’ve gotten cheese on your baggy sweatshirt that is most certainly going to stain, and you groan in annoyance. Setting the chili cheese fries aside, you grab a beer and head upstairs to see what Dan had groaned about.

You knock slightly before pushing the door to the office open, and find Dan sitting at the computer, his head in his hands. You stroll up behind him and place a hand gently on his shoulder. “What’s up, babe?”

He jumps, startled, and looks up at you with tired eyes, watery eyes. “I don’t know what the fuck to do. I hate this video. But I spent so long on it I don’t want to waste all that time.”

You move behind him and begin rubbing his neck, “Why don’t you take a break? I’ll make some brownies and we can watch some tv or a bad movie together. Then you can come back to it later and see if you feel better.”

He sighs heavily, leaning his head against you. “I’m a fucking mess. I feel like I’m damaged or losing my mind or something.”

“Well, you’ve been at this for eight hours, which will do things to you. But Dan, seriously, you’re saying this to the girl who just fell asleep with chili cheese fries in her hands and is now walking around in a stained sweatshirt with drool crusted to her mouth. We’re both damaged. But we can be damaged together and then we’re good.”

He chuckles, turning and wrapping his arms around you. “You’ll bake brownies?”

“Only if you help.”

 He nods against you. “I wanna be with you tonight.”

You lean down and kiss the top of his head, squeezing him tighter to you. “You will be. Just forget about this for now. Spend the night with me and come back to it in the morning. I guarantee you’ll feel better.”

anonymous asked:

Could you do something with Dan having trouble sleeping and Phil comes in to comfort him idk

-dan is sprawled across his bed, wearing only sweatpants. his breathing is slowed as he sleeps in peace. suddenly, his phone lights up and buzzes, notifying him of a new twitter notification. his eyes open immediately and he grabs for his phone. it reads, “@AmazingPhil: I can’t sleep :( What are some things I can do?” dan is immediately concerned. he and phil haven’t been sleeping together the last few days because phil has been very busy with editing and he insisted on not keeping dan up. dan decides that he has to do something to help.
-dan gets up from his bed and hesitates, looking at the shirt thrown over his chair. he shrugs, knowing phil won’t mind his lack of clothing. he walks out of his room and into phil’s, seeing him staring at his computer. “phil?” dan prompts. “oh my god, dan, you scared me!” “why’re you awake?” dan’s speech is slurred from tiredness. “i can’t sleep, i don’t know why. but go back to sleep, love. i’m fine,” phil insists.
-dan smiles at phil’s caring gesture, but he just shakes his head. “oh no, lester. i’m not going to sleep until you’re with me.” “i really have to finish editing this video. it’s the last one i have to do.” “phil, how long has it been since you’ve gotten more than four hours of sleep?” dan is growing increasingly worried for his boyfriend’s health. “um…a week?” “oh my god.” dan walks over to phil’s bed and climbs in, pulling the duvet over him.
-“turn the laptop off,” dan pleads. “no, dan, baby, i have to fini-” phil is cut off by dan quickly saving his video and shutting the laptop. “you’re not doing anything. now sleep. i’m tired.” phil sighs, but smiles as he feels dan’s arms wrap around him. “i’m finishing that tomorrow,” phil whispers. “you’re not doing anything tomorrow.” dan kisses phil’s cheek softly as they both drift off to sleep.

Taking Every Chance I've Got

Summary: (For the phandombigbang 2014) All Dan wanted was to get drunk, really. Have a good time, meet a few new people. He didn’t really think about getting involved with someone as dangerous as Phil Lester (someone as cold, as pale and, well, as not alive), and he definitely didn’t think that one trip out to a bar would change his life forever.

Warnings: Blood, sex, references to violence, alcohol mentions (briefly) and overly sarcastic dialogue

Authors: kaleidanscope & northerndanpour

Word count: 30085 (i kNOW SHUT UP)

Art: (by the wonderful goindanswinginHERE and HERE; Beta: The spiffing AbbinioMix: (by northerndanpour and I) HERE

AO3 Mirror

Dan’s having a good night, great in fact, until he catches sight of PJ storming across the room in his direction.

Honestly, he has to repress the roll of his eyes at the sight of his best friend walking purposefully towards him. He’s probably about to receive a lecture, or be told that he’s urgently needed somewhere else (Dan’s not sure how PJ manages to always end up making his videos at the worst times possible, or why it’s Dan that he constantly pulls in as an extra), and that kind of interruption is the last thing he needs right now. Knowing that he’s probably about to be torn away from the gorgeous boy in front of him, who he’s just getting started with, is enough to make him want to throw the glass bottle in his hand at the approaching man.

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Head Down Low (Twenty-Two: All I Want)

Summary: Dan isn’t right. He’s not like most of the others, he’s not genetically pure. He has no destined path, he has nothing going for him in life. He’ll be lucky to get himself a job in a fast food kitchen, and everyone looks down on him like he’s a piece of dirt stuck at the bottom of their shoe. Except one person: Phil Lester.

Warnings: Non-con/dubcon, later consensual sex, mentions of depression and low self-esteem, references to ocd, references to ptsd.

Last Chapter || Masterpost || AO3 link

Important a/n: During the piano scene, please listen to this as you read.

Dan has never been one for believing in miracles.

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One simple mistake

Prompt: Phil is scared to tell Dan that he loves him, so every night when Dan’s asleep Phil goes into his room and talks to Dan because it’s the only time he won’t hear

Warning: Some bad words (is it even a warning?)

Words: 1130

Phil couldn’t stop thinking about it. He was walking next to Dan in the crowded streets of London going home after a very busy day of working, doing videos, going out to eat lunch, talking on the radio and going grocery shopping. He was well aware of how close together they were walking but they didn’t think much about it. No. Dan didn’t seem to notice very much but he was. Being so close to him was nerve wrecking; even looking at him every day as just a friend was horrible.

It had been 3 years since they were living together and thought they became very close, Phil wanted them to be even closer. Dan’s deep brown eyes and charming smile hypnotized him every time and made him feel light and happy, like no one else could. He knew that he was falling for him, in fact, he knew he was dying for Dan to hold him and say that he feels the same way, but he knew things would never change. They were very good friends and Phil didn’t want to risk that, what if Dan didn’t like him back? What if he never wanted to see him again? No, their friendship was too special to sacrifice over something to be so unsure of.

“It’s been a long day, don’t you think?” said Dan as he opened the door to his house.

Phil snapped out of his daydream and realized they had arrived, “Yes, it has. I can barely feel my feet, would you mind carrying me upstairs?” he replied with a grin on his face.

Dan turned around and they both laughed as the climbed the stairs ready to jump into their beds for a goodnight sleep, thought they both knew that they were probably going to stay up on Tumblr anyways. It was a habit for both of them, though normally it was Dan who stayed up the latest because of this, Phil had other reasons. Right before going into their bedrooms Phil quickly turned around and said.

“By the way, you should try getting some sleep tonight. I hear you pacing in your bedroom at 5 am every day and you always look so tiered in the mornings.”

“Yeah, I know, I it just kind of hard to sleep when you are having a fucking existential crisis.” He grinned, “Our neighbor also said that he could hear some talking at night so that mean I probably talk to myself too.”

Phil just smiled, nodded and entered his bedroom before Dan could see him blushing. He knew that Dan didn’t sleep talk, their neighbor was hearing him. Every night he would sneak up to Dan’s bedroom, make sure he was asleep and talk to him. He would tell him things that he couldn’t say when he was awake, to confess his undying love for him every night. He was almost ashamed for what he did, to invade someone’s privacy that way. Almost.

-

Phil couldn’t stop thinking about Dan’s deep brown eyes and how perfect he was that night. He would think about that most nights, but tonight the feeling was particularly strong. He couldn’t wait until Dan feel asleep, which was thankfully quicker that other nights.

Quietly, Phil sneaked into Dan’s room and sat down on the floor next his bed. He stayed in silence for some time, seeing him peacefully sleeping, hearing him breathe evenly in and out, in and out.

“I miss you,” He started saying softly “I miss not being as close to you as I wish we were. I miss not being able to hug you and kiss you all the time. Seeing you every day is both a blessing and a curse to my heart. I want you to know that you are the world to me, your laugh, the sparkle in your eyes when you are happy, the way you see thing in life and how you want everything to be just right, things like this are what keep me alive. Simple things like this are what keep me going. I love you from the bottom of my heart more than you will ever probably know and I hope one day you could feel the same way.” He bit back tears and the urge to kiss him good night.

Just as he was leaving he noticed something different, his phone seemed to be on. When he saw what was on, he froze in place. No, no, no, he thought, this can’t be happening. Dan’s phone had a sleep talk app on and it was recording everything that was happening at night, including everything he had just said. When he listens to it in the morning he will find out everything I said, Phil though, he will never want to see me again.

In a moment of panic, Phil grabbed Dan’s phone and ran to his bedroom. Phil tried to get in the phone, but it was locked, and he had no clue what the password could be. He tried everything, from important dates to random numbers until the phone locked itself. Crap, he thought, know he will definitely know it was me and what I did.

Phil returned to Dan’s bedroom, leaving his phone just like it was and left again. He knew this was his end, he had just ruined everything for them, from know on it was going to be very awkward between them, living together, doing the radio show, everything. Somehow, after hours of feeling restless he finally fell asleep.

-

In the morning, Phil woke up earlier than Dan, as usual, and went to eat some breakfast. He was worried for Dan’s reaction to what he would hear, but he had already given up hope, there was nothing he could do know but wait. After some agonizing hours of waiting he heard Dan walking towards the kitchen, he didn’t know what to expect but when he saw him he was surprised. Dan had tears falling from his eyes, and even though Phil couldn’t read his expression, he knew Dan was also conflicted with many emotions. Phil awaited for the worst.

Suddenly Dan reached out to Phil into a warm embrace and before any of them realized their lips connected. Phil could sparks inside of him that ignited happiness like no other he ever felt. They were both holding each other and sobbing in between kisses.

“I love you,” Dan said in a soft voice, almost a whisper “I have for such a long time.”

They both just stood there for some time, still hugging. Their eyes were locked into each other’s and both full of love. Phil knew this was the start of a new life and he was going to enjoy every second of it.

Lost in the Crowd – Part 15

When you begin to see color, it means you have found your soulmate… unless you become lost in the crowd.

 Word Count: 2.1K

 Part 1

 All Parts

_____________________________________ 

Dan

Dan was standing behind the counter at work and he had been cleaning the same milk steamer for far longer than necessary while lost in his thoughts.  He was desperately trying not to think, which was only making things worse.  He was trying not to think about the past month and half with Phil, and the nights that they shared.  He was trying not to think about the last two nights in particular where they were tap dancing on the line of innocence and something far too inappropriate for a man with a soulmate. 

He was trying not to think about Phil’s fingers running through his hair while his head was resting on Phil’s chest, or the sound of Phil’s heart beat quickening as Dan grasped Phil tighter every time his fingers brushed Dan’s neck.  

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