Her gün Üsküdar’dan Kadıköy’e dershane gidiyordum.Yıl 2014.Yaş 17 olunca insan her şeye meraklı oluyor.Dershaneden çıktım,o zamanlar daha her şeyle yeni tanışıyorum. Sahile gittim,boş bir banka oturdum.Yanımda ailem yok,arkadaş ortamım bana uygun değil,seneye gitme planları falan kuruyorum.Yanıma yaşlı bir amca oturdu.Başta ondan tarafa bakmadım.Gözlükler,kulaklıklar var diye laf atmaz diye düşünüyorum.Şarkı durdu,amca bana doğru eğildi ve bir gül uzattı.Baktım,yanı başında bir kova gül.Önce nazikçe hayır deyip kabul etmedim.Israr edince gülü aldım ve cüzdanıma yeltendim.Kolumu tutup, “Gülleri parasıyla vermiyorum.”dedi. “Bir kazancınız olmaz o zaman.” dedim.Cebinden bir paket sigara çıkardı,bana uzattı.İçmediğimi belirttim. “77 yaşındayım.Hayatımda bir kez olsun hiçbir şeyi çıkar uğruna yapmadım.Kimseden tek bir karşılık dahi beklemedim.Kimi zaman geldi sevdim,kimi zaman geldi ihanete uğradım.Ama kimseyi sevmemezlik yapmadım.16 yaşında bir kıza vuruldum.Yapmadığım fedakarlık kalmadı.Ama sağ elimin yaptığını sol elim de görmedi.Yaptığım her iyiliği denize attım,suya söyledim. 18′inde evlendik.Bayram gecesiydi.Anamlarımı ziyaretten dönüyorduk.Dağlık alan.Hava ayaz.Sadece beyaz bir ışık gördüm.Sonra kısık kısık çocuk ağlaması.Evlendikten 8 yıl sonra kaybettim onu ve iki oğlumu.51 yıl geçti.Hala aynı evin eşiğinden geçecek diye bekliyorum.Gülleri çok severdi.Kırmızı,pembe güller yetiştirirdi bahçede.Bazen parasızlık diz boyu olur,gülleri pazarda satmaya çalışırdık.Bahçede güllerin arasında oynayan iki çocuğu izlerdik pencereden.” Bana bakıp gülümsedi ve “Sıkıldın değil mi?51 yıldır aynı şeyleri kendime anlatmaktan bende sıkıldım.Anılar…51 yıldır bana tek eşlik eden soframdaki rakım ve kovamdaki güller.Başka kimsem yok. Şimdiki gençleri takip ediyorum da sevdiklerini söylemeyi erteliyorlar.Ne olacak ya?Söyle gitsin.Sevmek utanılacak bir şey mi?Zaten bu dünyada seveceksen tek bir insanı sev ama haddinden fazla da sevme.İnsanoğlu bencildir.Sevgini bencilliğine katar da gider.” Ayağa kalktı ve kovasını kucağına alıp veda etti.
Arkadaşım aradı bu akşam üstü,senin ton ton amca vefat etmiş dedi.Yalan yok,sol yanımdan değerli bir parça koptu gitti.
I just watched the video and like that was the most organic thing ever??? pure? good? flirting?
it’s just so nice i have decided to make a full list of good things from google feud 2:
jumpcut of dan saying ‘e’ when he obviously leaned far into phil
phil calling us the wayward fun person at a party
phil’s just generally bouncy and full of personality? canceling robot phil little by little
dan looks like a good fucking twink i dont make the rules
i love dan’s hair :( such a good length
phil ate all the macaroons before dan. survival of the fittest (oookaaay but this was actually such an amazing interaction because it was letting us into their everyday lives? and phil introduced that? it makes them seem really long term and comfortable with living so closely together. im all warm and tingly.)
phil shushing a scared and confused dan
“im not even joking” in the softest dan voice ever
plugging side channels and merch and selling out
“i like dipping things”
“this is –” “can we just play the game?” “– a disaster.”
phil wants to type (insert dan looking at the camera sadly – twink??)
dans tongue is blue
selling out pt ii: google
dan biting his sweatshirt toggles :(
“someone’s gonna get a sweet macaroon in his mouth tonight”
phil leaning into dan all happy
phil questioning how people even know how to raise babies aka lowkey thinking about having kids vibes
HOW TO RAISE A PUPPY
“chill out dan”
explaining that their bants r a joke
dan’s obsessed with penises
dan leaning completely into phil’s space like wtf get off him
“[is duct tape safe for] kidnapping your senpai”………k. including elongated staring at phil because dan’s a troll
“i’m gonna choke myself. completely non-kink related. i just want death.”
peer pressuring phil into asking if duct tape was safe for bondage (why does dan want phil to know? the world may never solve this mystery)
“i dont like screaming that often.” all men do is lie
selling dan and phil’s souls to google
said thick (thicc) at the same time ://
dan has a feeding phil kink
if u aren’t focusing on dans creep face phil’s mouth actually opens really wide…
phil gets all blushy with pda
phil cant finish the video because he’s still eating
Tulisan ini adalah resume dari Seminar 7 Pilar
Pengasuhan oleh Ibu Elly Risman yang diselenggarakan di Bandung, 11
Maret 2017. Padatnya materi membuat resume ini perlu disajikan dalam beberapa
bagian. Untuk membaca bagian-bagian selanjutnya, klik disini.
ditelisik lebih dalam, permasalahan-permasalahan yang secara umum dituliskan
dalam resume sebelumnya terjadi karena rapuhnya 7 Pilar Pengasuhan. Apa sajakah
7 pilar tersebut?
1. KESIAPAN MENJADI ORANGTUA
kita bawa ketika menjadi orangtua itu berarti bahwa kita adalah baby sitternya Allah yang dititipi anak
sebagai amanah? Sayangnya, yang banyak terjadi sekarang adalah kesiapan menjadi
orangtua ini menjadi tidak terpikirkan sebelum menikah, bahkan belum terpikir
juga setelah menikah. Kalau begitu, wajar kiranya jika banyak sekali trial and error yang dilakukan terhadap
anak. So, sejauh mana pernikahan dipersiapkan? Apa yang membuatmu memutuskan
untuk menikah? Sepakat akan punya anak berapa? Berapakah jarak usia antaranak?
Siapa yang akan mengasuh anak? Apakah suami dan isteri keduanya akan bekerja? Pertanyaan-pertanyaan
seperti ini, sebaiknya dirumuskan dan dijawab terlebih dahulu sebelum menikah. Kesiapan
menjadi orangtua ini adalah bahasan yang panjang, beberapa bahasan yang sudah
pernah saya dapat dari berbagai sumber (terutama NuParents) saya tuliskan
2. DUAL PARENTING, AYAH HARUS TERLIBAT
ayah sebagai tulang punggung keluarga sedikit banyak telah menggeser esensi
hubungan interaksi sosial antara anak dan ayah. Ayah bekerja lebih lama (atau
bahkan sangat lama) di luar rumah sehingga seringkali tidak menjalankan
perannya dengan optimal. Ayah berangkat sebelum matahari terbit dan pulang
setelah matahari terbenam saat anak-anak sudah tertidur lelap. Ketika ayah
berada di rumah, waktu yang dimiliki pun seringkali tidak dimanfaatkan secara
optimal untuk kebersamaan dengan anak. Ayah tidak benar-benar hadir secara psikologis
karena disibukkan oleh gadget, menonton sepak bola, membaca buku-buku bisnis
dan surat kabar, mengecek e-mail klien, dll. Padahal, sudah semestinya ayah terlibat
dalam pengasuhan karena pengasuhan yang optimal adalah pengasuhan yang
dilakukan seimbang oleh kedua peran orangtua, yaitu ayah dan ibu. Yup, Dad is not simply a sperm donor, Dad is
a part of his child’s DNA! Pada akhirnya, bukan hanya keberadaan fisik yang
diinginkan oleh seorang anak, melainkan juga keberadaan peran secara emosi dan
psikologis. Lebih lanjut tentang ini akan di bahas di tulisan selanjutnya, ya!
3. MENETAPKAN DAN MENYEPAKATI TUJUAN
seminar 7 Pilar Pengasuhan ini, Bunda Elly menyampaikan, “Main bola aja ada
gawangnya, ada tujuannya. Masa mengasuh anak tidak ada tujuannya?” Salah satu
penyebab permasalahan dalam pengasuhan anak adalah karena tujuan pengasuhan
yang tidak terumuskan dengan baik dan tidak ada kesepakatan antara ayah dan
ibu. Dalam menetapkannya, sebaiknya jangan ikut-ikutan dengan tujuan pengasuhan
yang dimiliki oleh keluarga lain terhadap anak-anaknya karena setiap keluarga
itu unik dan memiliki visi dan misinya masing-masing.
4. KOMUNIKASI BENAR, BAIK, DAN MENYENANGKAN
dengan benar berarti sesuai dengan apa
yang diperintahkan Allah. Berkomunikasi dengan baik berarti sesuai dengan kinerja otak. Sedangkan, berkomunikasi
dengan menyenangkan berarti dapat
diterima oleh perasaan karena otak pusat perasaan pada anak berkembang
lebih dulu daripada bagian otak yang lainnya. Sayangnya, banyak sekali
kekeliruan-kekeliruan dalam berkomunikasi yang sering kita lakukan terhadap
anak dan atau orang lain dalam kehidupan sehari-hari? Apa sajakah itu? Lebih
lanjut tentang ini akan di bahas di tulisan selanjutnya, ya!
5. PENANAMAN NILAI AGAMA OLEH ORANGTUA
hal yang sangat saya ingat dari nasehat Bunda Elly terkait hal ini adalah bahwa
pengasuhan anak tidak bisa dilakukan dengan benar jika kita sebagai orangtua
tidak memiliki rasa takut kepada Allah. Mengapa demikian? Sebab, target
terakhir dalam mengasuh anak bukanlah menjadikan anak tersebut sukses,
melainkan menjadikannya sebagai hamba Allah yang bertakwa. Tapi, apa yang
terjadi sekarang? Pendidikan agama disubkontrakkan pada sekolah, guru, atau
bahkan taman pendidikan agama. Padahal, yang di akhirat kelak akan dimintai
pertanggungjawaban tentang pengasuhan anak dan penanaman nilai-nilai tauhid
adalah orangtua dari anak tersebut, bukan guru, sekolah, atau orang lain.
6. PERSIAPAN MASA BALIGH
masa baligh adalah sesuatu yang tidak umum untuk dilakukan di masyarakat kita.
Kebanyakan orangtua menganggap bahwa anak akan siap dengan sendirinya. Padahal,
apa yang terjadi jika anak tidak siap menghadapi masa remaja? (1) anak tidak
akan mengerti perbedaan seks dan seksualitas; (2) anak tidak akan paham mengapa
Allah memerintahkan untuk menundukkan pandangan; dan yang paling parah (3) anak
bisa aktif secara seksual karena kurangnya penanaman pemahaman.
7. BIJAK BERTEKNOLOGI
kita di era digital sekarang ini tidak bisa terlepas dari gadget. Di era ini,
perkembangan teknologi digital terus terjadi sehingga memberikan pengaruh yang
sangat besar terhadap bagaimana kita menjalani keseharian. Di usianya yang
masih berbilang satuan, anak-anak sekarang bahkan sudah sangat akrab dengan
penggunaan media sosial. Pada akhirnya, era digital ini memang seperti dua mata
pisau yang memuat manfaat positif di satu sisi dan juga memuat hal negatif di
sisi yang lain. Jika anak tidak diajarkan untuk bijak berteknologi, bisa dibayangkan kan apa yang akan terjadi.
Pilar Pengasuhan ini harus ada secara utuh dan menyeluruh, tidak bisa hanya
single factor saja. Sebagai orangtua dan calon orangtua, kita memiliki pilihan
untuk menyelamatkan anak-anak dan generasi mendatang dari The Exit Door dengan
mengokohkan 7 Pilar Pengasuhan ini agar tidak rapuh.
No pressure at all, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on the new Google Feud video! I love your analyses so much, thank you!!! Personally, I loved it
thanks for the lovely way you asked this :’) wow you’re so sweet. i really did enjoy this video so much! got so many messages from people saying they found it really significant and ground-breaking in the level of flirtation and openness that dnp exhibited. i sort of disagree (i mean, halloween baking as well as some of the first few vids of gamingmas are going to be hard to top at least in my opinion, as far as flirty and sexual bants are concerned). but there were still some great moments here and couple genuinely thought-provoking ones.
instead of grouping my thoughts into larger categories this time i’m just going to paste my notes here basically unfiltered bc my night sort of got derailed and i didn’t have time to turn this into something more coherent. but i feel like all of my opinions (probably more than i would share regularly) are covered here and there were so many good bits to discuss ahhhhhh:
‘google e’ bants: dan being rude af and phil finding a positive interpretation is this just persona-driven bants or really how they are idk anymore
the macaroon bants: thanks @ phil for knowing the difference between macaroons and macarons. dan’s voice was very natural and he seemed genuinely surprised they were out of the biscuits. phil says he ate all of them. again, something that on a macro level could be like a phil trope™ but seems like,, that’s just genuinely how he is. phil shutting dan up with a gentle shush. dan immediately falling silent. all of this is too good. also phil said it’s the last macaroon in “our house” and ik that’s old news but it doesn’t make it any less sweet to hear it.
phil automatically dragging dan for the dini spon “are we having plugs right now” it was so INSTINCTIVE he didn’t even miss a beat i was literally like :O ? ? ? ??? damn. and also i was v interested in dan’s retort about phil sponning merch? because ??? the merch is both of theirs? this makes it seem like it’s usually phil’s decision to advertise their merch at the end of videos and that’s FASCINATING to me because phil is also the one who seems to take the most initiative with sponning merch in live shows, with posting about sales and new stuff on twitter, with updating us on anything to do w their ticket sales and whatnot during the tour. so it frequently seems that phil has more interest in this more business-y side of their ventures but it was surprising to hear this subtle sort of confirmation of that fact from dan in this way
why was dan so insistent on typing?? ? like? what about that warranted all the sassy eye rolling and the “this guy is such a need.” also. he definitely said “need.” it didn’t sound like he had been on course to say “needy” but just cut it off prematurely. but then there’s a jump cut and i automatically imagined phil making fun of him for the word flub and goading him to finish the thought and there were probs some gross “you know you’re a needy bf u spoon” bants that we will never get to hear #rip
dan getting things wrong and IMMEDIATELY GOING ON RANTS ABOUT HOW THE GAME IS OBVIOUSLY FLAWED AND WRONG AND BULLSHIT has there ever been anything so typically dan (and phil respectfully trying his hardest not to call him out for how dumb his guesses are like bless him,,, tbh. “does it hurt to pull out hairs” dan wyd). it’s so captivating to me how consistently dan displays this need to never be wrong or mess up on things that he feels he should be good at and so when that happens here, he automatically blames the game instead of admitting that his guesses are kinda shit (though he does admit it one time when phil gets michael jackson and jordan, but that seemed more like an acknowledgment of how good phil is and that he’s bad in comparison, rather than bad in an absolute sense lol.
phil happily/comfortably saying “have sex” and “penis” and not being too weird about the word “bondage” all in one video. good. progress.
MORE bAby TALK I WANT TO DIE? (phil guesses “how to raise a baby” and instead of just letting it go he immediately goes into the side comment about “how does anyone actually know how to raise a baby by the way? .. do you just learn it from mother nature?”) how many videos in a row are they going to talk about babies, mention babies, discuss the difficulties of raising babies??!?!?!?!? i’m having a hard time just chalking it up to coincidence at this point, i really wonder if they’ve been correlating the discussion of not being ready to have a dog to the discussion of not being ready to have children anytime in the foreseeable future??? i mean idk why they’d even entertain the idea at this point in their lives but it’s just weird to me that it’s come up sooooo much on dapg recently
dans cute flirty mocking and weird faces at phil throughout…
when he guesses puppy based on phil’s guess of kitten and he makes this face:
then later makes this face:
in case anyone was in any sort of doubt, dan flirts like a fuckin five year old.
the effort taken to clarify to anyone who still has any doubts that dan’s ‘anger’ and aggression in dapg vids and especially in competitive dapg vids is completely played up for the purposes of entertainment/comedy. the most interesting thing about this is comparing it to past instances of dan engaging with this topic. most recent was yesterday’s live show when he read out a message that said he was kind of mean in the quickdraw vid and his instinct was to mock them by going “oooooooooohhhhhh was i?” in the most sarcastic, biting tone i’ve heard from him in a while. it reminded me forcefully of the iconic vyou answer about him being mean to phil, when he was like “no. i’m not mean to phil, i’m never mean to phil. … this may not have occurred to you .. etc. etc.” and he’s super condescending and annoyed. on face value, it seems like in the little bit during today’s vid when they’re discussing it, he’s a lot chiller about it and he’s laughing as though to brush it off as just being humorous, even though clearly in the past it’s a topic that has annoyed or upset him. which actually brings me to the thing i found most fascinating about this scene: the JUMP CUT before it, and the sort of FORCED way in which phil says “chill out dan” which gives dan the cue to clarify the whole situation. it seems like a bit that was clearly planned/scripted based on these little details, which makes me wonder if something about the bants that precede it (when dan is making those cute mock-y faces at phil and is like ew i don’t even want the “crummy macaroon”) reminded dan of these comments about him being mean and then he brought it up to phil and asked if they could discuss it for a min before moving on. it seems likely to me that something like this happened, bc the exchange seems really disjointed from the scene before, idk!!!!!!! and if this is what happened, it just cements to me that as casual and amused as dan seemed while talking about it here, it’s clearly something that STILL UPSETS HIM otherwise he wouldn’t’ve randomly remembered it and asked to clarify it to the audience, and idk something about that makes me feel v warm like dan literally won’t tolerate people actually believing he’s angry at phil or mean to him even tho .. it’s obvious .. and poor boy really doesn’t need to go to all this effort to confirm that :( he’s cute and good :(
phil seemed to get mildly flustered by dan’s proximity when he’s all like “a bird? a bIRD?” bc he then just gets all high pitched and forgets grammar and goes “chickens is there so yeS that is a very popular question” like honey that barely made sense but ok u tried ur best
not even that important but it made me happy: dan reads “how to raise a boring girlfriend” and phil says “stop being mean significant others” and a few years ago phil the Heteronormative Icon would’ve most certainly said boyfriends there and he didn’t, he used a gender neutral term, and i felt years being added onto my lifespan
when dan says “blood pressure, they’re basically the same thing, i’m terrible” what the fuck is he talking about? is he saying that “raising an adult” whatever the hell that means, and raising blood pressure are basically the same thing? i don’t .. understand… i replayed that so many times and i still don’t get it
“kidnapping your senpai” comment. literal gold. the way dan looks at the camera then pointedly at phil. he wants us to have this one. your efforts have been recognized and much appreciated dan. dw.
“i don’t like screaming that often,” says dan. hm.
“what the fuck are you doing with babies and duct tape you creepy fucking weirdos,” says dan and i am having incredibly violent flashbacks to 2011-2012. like he literally sounds straight out of 6 years ago and it’s a bit wild.
and then obvi. the feeding scene. when they first showed the macaroon at the beginning i literally KNEW that it would only end in feeding (or, as a possible but less likely second option, the loser eating it before the winner can get it). so i was thoroughly unsurprised that it happened. once again, the thing that interested me was the CLEAR jump cut in the scene. so dan first says “i don’t want it. no phil! it’s the dan versus phil board. here we go,” and his hand with the macaroon starts moving towards phil’s mouth, and then the jump cut happens, and it’s like dan has started the feeding process OVER, bc the angle is totally diff, the framing is totally diff, and this time dan is giving the camera that weird stare:
INTERESTING. so to me this means they once again paused the scene to talk about what they were going to do, and they ended up doing something that was nearly an exact duplicate of this scene from the nov. 24 live show last year where dan feeds phil chocolate and hams it up big time for the camera and phil is basically like, “what are you doing” and dan verbatim replies “i’m feeding it to you” and idk it makes me wonder what their motivation is (or, i assume, *dan’s* motivation, bc it was dan’s idea in the live show to do this) to just redo this exact exchange for a wider audience?
to me that scene in the live show was a big step towards them acknowledging the sort of (romantic) things they obviously know the audience wants them to do and for them to tacitly tell us that maybe once in a while they will actually start to do them but not without a healthy accompanying dose of sarcasm and teasing us for being such trash that we could possibly get excited over something as banal as them feeding each other. it seemed like a BIG step to me at the time bc i was like, ok, here’s them basically telling us that they KNOW us and they hear us and they acknowledge that their boundaries on camera have been very strict and forced and they’re gonna start making some efforts to change that, but like also, we (the audience) won’t get off scot free in that transaction bc we deserve to be made fun of a bit too, for caring so much about such simple and objectively unexciting things. it’s ‘fan service’ to the extent that it is an acknowledgment of what the audience wants to see and of the fact that they have been holding it back for some time, but it’s genuine and brave in the sense of them showing us that they may take these steps and bend some boundaries now from time to time. and it seems like they HAVE to do it this way, with all the sarcasm and blatant stares into the camera, and either vocalized or implied “giving the people what they want” comments, in order to not ACTUALLY LITERALLY be accused of baiting/fan service. think about the tricky position they are in where even if they want to loosen boundaries and act more natural, literally everything they do gets scrutinized and becomes fodder for people to accuse them of faking shit in order to gain views. it seems the only way to stave it off is to make fun of it themselves and jump out ahead of that criticism. all in all, the exchange in this vid seemed to me like they made a conscious and somewhat premeditated effort to communicate something very similar, but this time for their dapg audience of 2.6M rather than the limited live show audience of some tens of thousands. that seems significant. i want to keep thinking about it forever
ahhhhh i’m sorry this is immense but like, who expected anything different???? what a gr8 vid, they keep giving me so much to think about. and they keep UPLOADING. JFC. it’s crazy! god bless the 2017 rebranding which seems to be all about flirting and softness and touching and phil being assertive and dan being petulant and both of them following through more than i ever expected on their promise to re-commit and focus more on making youtube content. dnp r the only thing saving my 2017 lol <3