damp cold and mild

anonymous asked:

Can you do 1, 8, 15, 16? Lovee you

1. “If you had asked me to stay, I would’ve.”

8. “Go to hell.”

15. “It doesn’t matter. You’ve moved on and I have to be okay with that.”

16. “Do you wish things had happened differently?”

LOL ANON ASKING FOR SOME SERIOUS ANGST. BUCKLE UP KIDS. SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT IT’S 2100 WORDS I GOT CARRIED AWAY. ENJOY.

IT’S BLURB NIGHT BITCHES


Four months was a long time. The seasons had changed from the bitter dry cold of January to the damp mildness of April. I thought the warmth might make things better, but the melting of snow just revealed the dead grass underneath, the litter that had piled up and been hidden by the white of winter. Things were the same.

We’d broken up on New Year’s Day. New Year’s Eve was a confusing blur of overwhelming crowds and saying the wrong thing and missing the midnight kiss. I was crying on a curb when the ball dropped. I don’t know where Shawn was. The next morning we met up at a small coffee shop and he broke up with me in the corner booth, by the window. We’d drifted apart, he claimed. Neither of us felt the same way we did when we started going out three years earlier. We had to grow up. He had to focus on his music, I had to focus on school. Or so he told me. I wasn’t really listening though. I was stuck wondering when he’d figured this all out. Was there a specific moment he realized he didn’t love me anymore? Did he wake up in a cold sweat wondering why he was still sleeping beside me? Surely he’d dwelled on this decision for a while, so when did he come to a conclusion? How many times did he look me in the eye and tell me he loved me since realizing he didn’t anymore? Four months later and I was still dwelling on that.

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