damnation's flame

i shudder in humiliation at my new found vision. damnation shatters into flames, a mushroom cloud screaming to the o-zone layer. i smell the smoke but it doesn’t choke me anymore. but why? i reject your holiness like it’s a hobby. why bother with me? 

my flesh and mess fills up to your waist, a kiddie pool of insecurities. you aren’t embarrassed at all. you aren’t disgusted at all. i stain your legs, your perfection, your godly. i rip up everything that makes you a saint and devour it whole. and you don’t move. and you don’t make it stop. and you look at me and you don’t hate me at all. 

we have the same eyes. open eyes. wise canyon eyes. i have so much more for you. you say it in such a way, in such a beautifully tender way, that i want to hide my face but run as fast as i can towards you. 

it’s like we are one. and what an honor it is. i turn up the music. i deafen my evil. this is where i’m meant to be. obnoxious and loud with shame churning and awakening and left to fall as dust.

they think i lost myself when i met you. but i swear, i swear it on all of my graves, it was worth losing all that blood for the new identity i found.