ELLIE IS PRECIOUS. If you don’t like Ellie please leave. I wanna drop off Shade’s ass at her garage. Hello you beautiful woman please take care of this half dead little man. She would provide a loving home. And then they could slaughter all the bandits together. AND PLAY BOARD GAMES. AND HUG.
To: firstname.lastname@example.org From: Me Subject: todd why
Dear Todd, Why do you have to make my life so difficult? The last patch y’all did for Fallout 4 makes the game crash in less than a minute. We don’t want Skyrim for the 6th time on another shit console from Sony or Microsoft. Do Not Bring Fucking Skyrim Onto The Nintendo Switch. I just want to romance the raisin in the tri-horn hat that’s addicted to drugs, and build shit settlements. Cordially, Me (P.S.: A POX O’ER YOUR HOUSE, TODD HOWARD)
Summary: A letter to Dan from Phil (damn you Ellie Goulding) (remember that radio show where Phil was like “how long will I still love you.” And he looked at Dan and went, “how long will I still love… ellie goulding" or whatever and we all fucking diED yeah this is what that’s from skippidy do da)
*a thing: if you see ANYTHING that I need to warn about or tag or whatever, PLEASE, PLEASE, let me know. I’m still kind of eh about what does and doesn’t need to be tagged and warned about. Thank you, thank you*
Um… hey, Dan. I guess. I don’t really know what to do in letters because I never write them, I never know how to start them or what to say in them. Because “Dear Dan” is too formal, it’s just you, I mean…