damn this kills me

3

the most romantic interaction i’ve ever had in skirmish: when enemy genji used swift strike on me, then ran to a health pack and shot shurikens at it, telling me to use it

10

And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee
;  - Edgar Allan Poe

How to Snag Potter

By Draco Malfoy


1. Midnight Rendezvous: Invite him to a duel and then bond over shared rule-breaking. Didn’t work because Weasley insisted on coming along. Reported them to Filch instead. 

2. Midnight Rendezvous, second attempt: Inspire gratitude by helping him deal with illegal dragon. Possible small talk about my name? Caught by McGonagall

3. Show off amazing Quidditch skills and really cool new broom. Nope. Granger said I bought my way onto the team (NOT TRUE) and I’m pretty sure Potter believed it. 

4. Send carefully composed and endearing Valentine (the only good thing Lockhart has ever done). I don’t think he liked it very much, despite the brilliant lyrics I composed. Ended up shifting blame onto the Girl Weasel. Fairly certain he doesn’t suspect.

5. Become gravely injured in order to appeal to his Savior Complex and inspire feelings of protectiveness. DO NOT ATTEMPT AGAIN. Was nearly murdered when I insulted that giant filthy chicken, and yet Potter decided that IT was the victim?! Unacceptable. I will not rest until that beast is put down.

6. A fun prank! He seems to enjoy stuff like this when the Weasley Twins do it, so I’m sure he will laugh. Learn to sew. It turns out that Potter has no sense of humor as well as very poor vision, because he nearly killed me with that damn Patronus Charm. Although I must admit, it is kind of hot that he can already do a Patronus.

7. Support him with Triwizard Tournament badges! Okay, this one was probably my fault. Pansy saw me experimenting with them and I changed the messages at the last minute. Why can’t he just realize that I don’t mean it?

8. Report Potter’s tragic story to the Prophet to increase sympathy and support. Exaggerate if it will get him more attention. I realize now that Potter does not like attention. Also Skeeter made out like Potter is in some sort of love triangle involving Granger, which is not even remotely acceptable. This was a mistake.

9. Show respect for his friends by composing an encouraging song in Weasley’s honor. Apparently making the title sound complimentary isn’t enough to negate other more insulting lyrics. Honestly this was doomed from the start because there is literally nothing good about the Weasel except his best friend.

10. Impress him with your status and power by leading the Inquisitorial Squad. Umbridge is an absolute menace and I am an idiot.

11. Make him jealous: Flirt excessively with Pansy. I don’t think he even noticed.

12. Show him your sensitive side by crying in the girls’ loo. Fuck.

Sorry I haven’t written in a while. 

13. Realize you’ve been a complete arse for your entire life. Regret everything. Do your best to become someone who does the right thing. Don’t identify Potter when asked. Stop cronies from killing him. Apologize sincerely after he gets you off at your trial. Invite him for dinner. 

14. Invite him for drinks. 

15. Buy him a birthday present. 

16. Kiss him. 

17. Go back to his flat. 

18. Refuse to leave his bed. This only works for so long.

19. Attempt to make him breakfast.

20. Come out to the Prophet together.

21. Date for three years.

22. Say “yes.”

Things that broke me in the new TAZ episode

• the static
• the artifacts’ destructions being vividly described
• everyone starting to argue and bicker with each other
• “that’s the last conversation you ever had with your sister”
• the (almost) davenchurch card game
• “I’m Davenport! I’m Davenport…”
• Barry and Taako looking for Lup
• Barry: “It’s our best chance at finding her.
(Justin, all by his damn self) Taako: "find who?”
• “Taako, kill me!”
• Lucretia’s journey into becoming the Director
• Lucretia helping her family get homes
• the fucking flashbacks of previous episodes
• the music
• THE GODDAMN SPA SCENE THAT WAS ORIGINALLY A FUNNY THING IS NOW GOING TO FILL ME WITH TEARS BECAUSE GRIFFIN MCELROY HAD THIS SHIT CAREFULLY PLANNED AND THAT WAS SOME DEEP FUCKING FORESHADOWING

furbyhater  asked:

Annabeth sleeping in on a Sunday morning (very rare for her but she's 3 months pregnant and always tired so she'll take the rest) and waking up to the faint sound of music coming from the kitchen. She goes to investigate and finds her beautiful husband Percy cooking pancakes with their beautiful 2 year old son in his arms, the two of them dancing as the radio plays something mellow. She stops to watch as their son periodically feeds his dad "booberries" and Percy peppers his son's face w kisses

(i want you to know that this killed me,,,im writing from beyond the grave)

their two year old, theodore, is wearing his favourite shark footie PJs which have blueberry stains around the sleeves and his collar. (it’s a laundry day anyway). he coos happily when he sees his mamma and is easily transferred to her hip when she leans in for a kiss from percy. (one of those easy we’re-gonna-do-this-for-the-rest-of-our-lives kisses which says hi, hello, good morning, and i love you all in one. it’s magic, really.) theodore feeds her a couple of booberries which she thanks him for before sitting him at the table. she makes coffee and percy serves them all pancakes and it’s just a really really great sunday morning.