Thanks so much to @mazerly for voicing Mercy in this. You’re wonderful!
You ever tried rendering something and then it hits 100% but it doesn’t finish? It just keeps “rendering” for about 50 minutes and you’ve waited so long that you keep thinking it would finally finish at any moment and it just keeps on making you wait until you’re about to give up and just decide to cancel it and start it again once you get back from the bathroom and then Vegas thinks it’s a great and fun way to TOY WITH MY EMOTIONS AND ACTUALLY FINISH THE DAMN RENDERING PROCESS AND NOW I CAN FINALLY UPLOAD IT AND THEN GO FIND SOMETHING TO EAT AT 9:42PM WHEN I HAVEN’T EVEN HAD LUNCH BECAUSE OF HOW BUSY IT WAS AT WORK!? GOOOOODDDDDAAAAAMMMMMNNNN!!!!
What is the honor they give me? Denied a seat in Odin’s hall; Forbidden fruits from Iðunn’s tree And cast outside of Asgard’s walls.
Six or seven years ago, I heard this song purely by accident—an accident named Loki, no doubt. The details are unfaithful to the lore, but the spirit of this song… oh, damn… it renders me speechless. Sometimes, when I need to feel closer to him, I close my eyes and let the words—of loneliness, bitterness, cunning, and witchery— recapture my imagination as they did the first time I heard the song.
The original was penned by the late Mikal Hrafspa.
My second full on poster, and probably took WAY less time than others (complete and non) since I’m really getting this posing thing down. Lighting and camera angles, not so much :/ Dark maps suck. First time using a particle effect too, super easy~
So yeah, I finally decide to make animation series of this team, the war between viruses and vaccines. I think it would be hard work but I always wanted to make the series animations. I love TF2 so decided to make TF2 animation series.
don’t think of it as a background, think of it as an environment for a character to live in….
she said after spending almost two hours rendering a fictional alien gong. parallel lines SUCK on digital.
I think I’m about half way through. I’ve got the hair and ear to finalize, final texture on the dress, finish rendering the background and make the colors all go as a composition, and then do “final fussing” like adding stray hairs/minor skin texture/eyebrow detailing which is what really makes a piece pop.
all in all… I LOVE THIS PIECE!!!! THIS IS GOING SO WELL! I keep zooming out and sighing over how good it looks.
Ok, so now that I’ve rewatched the episode and gathered my thoughts, I’m ready to share. Brace thyself, this is kinda long. Slightly anti BJ and DE, but not really. Now, before I go into any specifics on Damon/Bonnie/Bamon scenes, I just want to point a few of general things I noticed in this episode.
1.Enzo calling Bonnie his girl multiple times, once in a scene right before Damon tells comatose Bonnie that he’s skeptical of the Bonenzo relationship (right before holding her hand I might add), and Damon later referring to Elena in a similar fashion in The Porch Scene. I think BE is cute and I’m not even going to deny the validity of DE, but scene placement and parallels call to question the nature of both relationships. Both are CANON ships, both have each half of BD in love with other people, but when it is framed like that, it suggests that neither was meant to last. Atm DE is done and dead, and now there is a hint that BE will soon be like that too. (Can’t say I’m too bummed, since I’m a Bonkai and Bamon shipper first and foremost, but it’s good to see Bonnie get some genuine RECIPROCAL loving - looking at you baby Gilbert.)
2. Speeches about respecting choices and doing horrible things for the people you love. This was talked about and paralleled EXTENSIVELY in relation to several relationships: Steroline, Stelena, Baroline, AND Bamon. (Notice only one of these relationships is 100% for sure platonic.) Damon makes his choice to be mean to Bonnie after his phone call with Stefan. Beforehand, he was nervous about going in with Bonnie because he was afraid that with her still so angry at him, he wouldn’t be enough to wake her up. Her oldest friendship couldn’t do it, her relationship with her boyfriend whom she really loves (and even though I think it’s a filler ship, she does genuinely love him and admitted the way he loves her - protectively, equally (unlike beremy, cough cough) - is something she’s always wanted. Which is heart breaking bc Damon, her undefined relation, loves her in the same way, more intensely) couldn’t do it, so how could he? Damon makes his decision to ignore Bonnie’s choice to die (AGAIN? Wtf?) once all that has been said. In regards to his ‘Stefan approach’ about respecting her choice, he says “I gotta be me” then he dived in to annoy her into wanting to live. At first I was upset about Damon doing this bc it took me back to the toxic, abusive aspects of DE, but then I realized: Damon isn’t making a choice FOR Bonnie he’s making his choice AGAINST one of hers. She wants to martyr herself, he wants her to live, and he’s going to do it BY BEING HIS ANNOYING ASS, DORKY, DICKWAD SELF. This is something beautiful bc in all his previous romantic relationships, Damon had to change who he was. Become more dark and selfish for Katherine, become less dark and selfish for Elena…neither of which were really him because he falls somewhere in between. With Bonnie, he’s himself and it’s enough.
3. Constant Elena mentions in SC/BD dialogue. This does several things: reminds us of Elena as an obstacle to romantic BD, reminds of Damon’s intense love for Elena and how he is basically letting it go to try and get Bonnie back to herself and living, and it brings up a catalyst to who Bonnie is and how the DB relationship started. Bonlena was never developed the way it should have been, but Bonnie and Elena are supposedly like sisters, and in all of season 7 we never got to see her truly mourn the girl. Like yes it’s been about 4 years, but Bonnie kinda latched on to Damon as her new bff and never really seemed to revisit any feelings that she will NEVER see her “sister” again. Caroline, as a vamp, doesn’t have this problem, so it’s weird. Damon uses Elena to remind Bonnie of the love she felt for her friend and in doing so, reminds viewers of how Bonnie and Damon first met and how their relationship has evolved since. It’s an important call back.
Important Bamon moments:
Since I literally just talked about Elena being a call back, I’m going to talk about that ending with Damon and Enzo and this little snippet from Damon to Bonnie:
“See the history that we have? Depth and feeling, I mean it’s almost like -”
(LIKE WHAT? OMG WHAT WAS HE ABOUT TO SAY BEFORE SHE WENT IN ON HIS BEHIND?)
BD literally have the single most complex and layered relationship on tvd. They’ve been enemies, allies, frenemies, best friends, and something that’s not officially NAMED lover status but in nature is, just w/o sex (for now 😏). They’ve been abusive, toxic and violent. They’ve overcome that to be healthy and reliant with inside jokes and friendly 'mind reading’ and very much ride-or-die, this-is-my-person-and-i-will-fuck-you-up-if-you-breath-at-them-wrong attitudes. They have felt literally felt every emotion and thunk every thought a person can in regards to each other. So when we’re reminded of that through their Elena dialogue, when we hear him mention how deep their story goes, it’s just one aspect of why he’s so damn heartbroken when he says to Enzo “This isn’t a celebration… I couldn’t get through to her. I would’ve been just another notch on her belt if Matt Donovan hadn’t stepped in.”
The other aspect has to do with THE PORCH SCENE THAT RENDERED MY DAMN HEART USELESS and that fucking tear jerking Bamon fight.
Right before Bonnie wakes up, she psychically links herself to Damon by ripping his heart out. (And can I just mention HOW SYMBOLIC that is? Damon’s signature move, on Damon and the fact that she literally held his heart in her hand? And when she wakes up, he’s all clutching his chest and low-key flirting with her to hunt him down, #icanteven.) BONNIE FEELS WHAT DAMON FEELS AND KNOWS WHAT DAMON THINKS. So when Damon is laying it all out, telling her he admires her, believes in her, loves her, is begging her for forgiveness and genuinely willing to die at her hand even though he’s hoping he’s enough for her…she knows he’s being genuine. We can see it in his actions and expressions but she can literally FEEL it. That’s why she hesitates. That’s why she’s crying before the hunter instincts take over again. Because Bonnie knows Damon means it when he says he love her (Which is why I’m not even sweating the Elena tack on. He hesitated before he added it anyway, probably bc he thought his love alone wasn’t enough, especially since Bonnie just said she hated him.) and she FORGIVES him. And that, my fellow Bamonators, is what really wrecked my shit tonight.
There’s so much more I could add, but it’s past midnight and others have probably already said it. So TL;DR - when has your ship ever?