damn raccoons

GOTGvol2 Lines That Went From 0-100

Drax: You remind me of my daughter.

Mantis: Disgusting?

Drax: Innocent.

Incorrect Guardians of the Galaxy
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Rocket :</b> It's okay Gamora, nobody's parents are perfect.<p/><b>Peter:</b> Yeah, I mean my mom is weird, and collects Seashells; Your Dad, levels cities, and attacks innocent people. So, they've all got their quirks ya know.<p/></p><p/></p>

anonymous asked:

Headcanon that the IGR agents are all raccoons. All of them.

You know, for that matter, given how little I describe appearances on this show, I’m not sure you could prove anyone is human. The characters can work computers and stuff but raccoons do have those little paws. How can we know that the “humans” of the future aren’t just a strain of highly developed raccoons who mastered speech, won a war against homo sapiens, and renamed themselves “humans” just to be funny? 

We can’t. We just can’t.

Human!Rocket Headcanons: Coming to Terms

As per cherri-babycakes’s request, here are some headcanons featuring Human!Rocket and his S/O coming to terms with his new body and its effect on their growing relationship.

  • It takes Rocket a long time to adjust to his new form. For the next few weeks after his transformation, he jolts awake every now and then and finds himself disoriented as he gazes at the human hands that rest where his paws once were.
  • On some nights, when he can’t seem to shake the feeling of self-loathing in his gut or suffers from terrible nightmares, he comes into your room. Sometimes he just sits in silence across from your bed, not wanting to disturb you. Other nights he gently shakes you awake and asks if he can stay the night. You never refuse.
  • At first it’s difficult for you to come to terms with his new form, though you never admit it out loud. It feels like you’re holding a stranger in your arms and staring into the eyes of a man you’ll never know.
  • After a while, however, his new body grows on you and it begins to feel like he’s never embodied another form. His blue eyes feel like home and his smile makes your heart soar.
  • You start to notice far more contact between the two of you than there was prior to his transformation. You often find yourself running your fingers through his hair every now and then, recalling the way you used to pet him in his old form. On those nights when he comes to you, you gently caress his cheek with your thumb and pull him close so that he can wrap his arms around you.
  • Eventually, Rocket discovers the wonder that is holding hands. He no longer has to grasp onto one or two of your fingers to guide you around the Milano but can hold your hand in his. You swear there are some days you never want him to let go.
  • The first time you walk in on him naked after a shower, your jaw nearly drops to the floor. His body is beautiful in every way and there is nothing you can do to stop yourself from stealing a second glance before you both blush and dip out of sight from one another.
  • “If you had the chance to go back to…y’know…before the lab,” you ask him one night, his head resting in your lap as you run your fingers through his hair, “Would you?”
  • To your surprise he shakes his head and, when you inquire as to why, he answers, “’Cause I’d have to give up all this time I’ve had with you.”
  • You swear upon your soul that you’ve never smiled so hard in your entire life. Even as he furrows his brow in confusion and concern when your eyes start to water, you let out a small laugh because now you understand just how much you mean to each other.
  • That’s when he kisses you for the first time -soft, slow, hesitant- and you finally admit to yourself that you and Rocket are in love.
You’re Cute When You’re Jealous (Star Lord Reader Insert)

Anon Request: May i please have a star-lord x reader smut where you make him mad/jealous/whatever and he takes it upon himself to teach you a lesson so he’s REALLY rough with you and spanks you and just lets his primal urges take over. Pretty please? If you wrote this id explode

Warnings: smut, language, orgasm denial, slight bondage, general roughness lmao

Words: 2806

so i totally fixed my computer on my own cause i’m like a straight up genius like albert einstien who? so i got to post this a day earlier… anyways here you go my loves

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Harmless flirting, simple as that. Innocently toying with each other, and the teasing itself gradually getting more and more frequent as time went on. It consisted of lingering touches, the ever-so-often eyeing one another indecently, the salacious insinuations, and even the occasionally abrupt pinches to your ass. Your relationship with Peter Quill, that is.

All around the ship and even on missions, you were known to play around with each other. You’d sway to the beat of his music, pressing your bodies close and letting his hands travel dangerously low on you back like two horny teenagers at the prom. The long nights spent co-piloting together didn’t go unnoticed by the other Guardians.

It was strange because even with all this faux romance, you never actually did anything. Never kissed or been intimate with each other. Not that you didn’t needily fantasize about it, but timing didn’t ever seem precise. Right when something was about to happen there would always be some alarm going off or that damn raccoon would stroll in and ruin the whole moment. So eventually, you just gave up trying. But you didn’t stop flirting, for it was just all in good fun.

However, you couldn’t help feeling a somewhat possessive of Quill whenever he fooled around with other girls. He’d stopped bringing girls back home as often as he used to, but still eyed others obscenely.

Like today for example: Peter and yourself were sent out together to get some supplies for the ship. The store contained almost everything you required from the list Gamora had organized: food, water, toiletries, etc. After gathering together all the items, you took them to the checkout to pay.

Moving away for one second to get one thing you’d mistakenly forgotten, you came back to find Peter flirting with the bubbly little blonde cashier posted at the register. He had his elbow propped up against the counter slyly and was leaning in close to the girl, his eyes darting between her eyes and her overly exposed breasts. You couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying, but it must’ve been very funny judging by her obnoxious giggles. Rolling your eyes, you slapped down the pack of batteries causing the dumb cashier to jump back in surprise. A scowl formed over her lips and a fake smile on yours. After she rang everything up, obviously irritated by the large amount of stuff you’d put on the table but not irritated when she saw Peter lift a hefty water gallon, she directed her toothy smile to him.

“That’ll be 74 units,” she said in a voice that you guessed was supposed to be sexy. When it was you who pulled out the money (because Gamora understandably didn’t trust Peter with 100 units) the cashier’s glare returned. Once the whole transaction was complete, you grabbed your change and a few bags off the table. You turned to the exit but realized Peter wasn’t following. He was, in fact, still talking up the blonde.

“For the love of God,” you muttered to yourself. You stormed up behind him and, since your hands were full, kicked him right in the ass. He jumped forward at the surprising contact, loudly banging his knees against the tall counter and even caused the cashier to jump again.

“Hey, what the hell?” he griped.

“Let’s go, asshole,” you ordered. His eyebrows were knit together in irritation but then something flickered in his eyes, and his expression was replaced with a smirk. He turned back around and took the rest of the bags in his arms.

“See ya later, Star Lord!” the cashier called desperately. He winked at her and she literally looked like she was going to pass out. You scoffed and rolled your eyes for the second time in 10 minutes.

Once out of the store, Peter was still strutting around with that cocky smirk painted on his face.

“What?” you questioned, annoyed with his smugness.

“Nothing. It’s just that you’re cute when you’re jealous,” he laughed. Controlling the heat that was desperate to rise to your cheeks, you laughed off his irritatingly accurate comment.

“Oh please, don’t flatter yourself.”

“Admit it, you were totally jealous.”

“Sure, Star Lord,” you mimicked the cashier, “you wish.” It was more than true, however. You were utterly envious, but you’d rather die than confess. And just thinking about him with that girl only fueled your rage. So while you were getting angrier, his smile just grew wider.

On the way back to the ship, you were still fuming. You knew that you and Peter weren’t together, but it still bothered you whenever stuff like this happened. Yet at the end of the day, he had every right to mess around with anyone he wanted. And guess what? So did you.

Later that same evening, you were getting ready to go out to a local dive. Getting especially dolled up, you put on your favourite dress and dabbed on a little extra makeup. You were determined to get laid tonight no matter what. You needed to prove a point; that you could be with whoever you wanted and you didn’t have to limit yourself to the like of Peter Quill. Hearing him say he was going to stay behind came as a relief to you, for he would only be a distraction.

You strolled through the cabin whilst slipping your heels on, the clicking of them echoing throughout the ship. Peter looked up from the holographic screen in front of him when he heard the abrupt sounds. His eyes followed you from head to toe, taking in every inch of your body.

“We ready to go?” you called to the others. Murmurs of agreement came from the group and you were sure to blow a kiss to Quill before heading towards the door just to mess with him.

“Change my mind, I think I’ll come along instead,” he announced a little too loudly, grabbing his infamous leather jacket before following you out the door.

“Fantastic,” you mumbled to yourself sarcastically.

It was a short walk to the place and you felt Peter’s eyes boring into you the whole time. Usually, butterflies would be swarming around in your stomach, but the feeling never arrived. So you let him get in his prolonged glances before entering the rundown joint.

Heading straight for the bar, you ordered the usual beer. Personally, you weren’t really into the bright, fruity drinks that the other women in here seemed to enjoy. But before you could hand the bartender the required amount of units, a stranger gave over the cash. A handsome stranger, that is. Not as hot as Peter but-, you stopped yourself. You weren’t going to let yourself think about him at all. So you pushed the thought of leather jackets and blue eyes to the back of your mind.

“Let me take care of that,” he said, winking at you. While it was a kind gesture, it’d take a lot more than a free drink and a smile to get you to fall for him. However, you were intrigued by the newcomer’s ways.

“Thank you.”

“No problem. A beautiful lady like yourself deserves a lot more than a free drink,” he declared.

“Ooh, that was very smooth,” you joked, fighting the urge to groan. It was almost too cheesy to bear and you’d heard that line a million times or at least some variation of it. He chuckled and you introduced yourself. He did the same, naturally forgetting his name in an instant. It sounded horrible but, when it came to one night stands, you didn’t care about titles. Only what they had to offer.

You talked some more with what’s-his-face and brought your charm to a ten, batting your lashes and laughing at his stupid, unfunny jokes. Yet, no matter how hard you tried to pay attention to what’s-his-face’s dull conversation, something was poking at the back of your mind.

It was strange because, instead of tailing other intoxicated females like he usually did, Peter seemed to be somewhat following you around. He always managed to stay a solid 5ft away from you at all times and you’d noticed his eyes were narrowed menacingly at your partner. If you didn’t know any better you’d think he was, dare you say, jealous.

Oh, this was too good to be true.

Deciding to test the waters a little, you inclined a little closer to your man. Temptingly tracing little circles in the his shirt, Quill was watching your every move intently. His shoulders stiffened and his jaw clenched as if he were holding himself back. You really weren’t paying attention to what the guy in front of you was babbling on about because the most wonderful idea popped into your head. Not only would it shut the guy up, but it’d make Peter even more covetous as well. So you expertly grabbed whatever-his-name-was’ face and delivered the same brash smirk to Quill that he always wore just before pressing your lips against the strangers.

The man, quickly recovering from your random actions, rested his hands on your bottom. The feeling was a bit foreign, for you were used to the sensation of Peter’s large, warm hands rather than this stranger’s oddly cold ones. His lips moved with yours, but only for a minute or so until you were forcibly being tugged away by your upper arm by none other than the great Star Lord himself.

You let him guide you away as whatever-his-name-was protested loudly. When the two of you had made it through the sea of inebriated grinding to the quieter side, he finally stopped and turned around. His jaw was rather tight under his scruffy facial hair and his eyes were icy hot. He was obviously trying to stay calm, for he was not one to usually get riled up. But you couldn’t deny he looked sexy when he did.

“What the hell was that?” he gritted through his teeth and crossed his arms under his puffed out chest.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit. You don’t even know that guy and you just kissed him and let him touch you like that?!” he raised his voice a little louder.

“I was just having a little fun, maybe you should try it.” Playing innocent was clearly only infuriating him more. Abruptly, he grabbed your shoulders and pulled you close, staring deep into your eyes.

“Listen to me; don’t ever do that again.” Was he honestly doing this right now?

“Aww, you’re cute when you’re jealous,” you laughed, throwing his words from earlier right back in his face.

“Watch it, (Y/N).”

“Or what, hmm? You gonna punish me?” The alcohol had now kicked in and made you slightly tipsy, but already destroyed your filter. “Maybe I’ll let Mr. Stranger over there take me home and let him fuck me all night long.

In reality, the only place you’d go with that guy is to a muzzle factory, but and angry Quill was so deliciously enticing that you couldn’t resist. The way his muscles tensed up at your words, the way fire blazed in his eyes. This was a whole new level and you were playing dangerously.

“I’d be a little more careful if I were you. You’ll regret it,” he warned while completely closing the space between you. His tone was harsh, but deep within his eyes you saw lust.

“Make me.” That was it for him, for you’d officially pushed him over the edge. You were rapidly being pulled away once more. Past the bar exit, past the streets lined with people, past the ship’s door and your bunk, all the way to his.

Being slammed against the back of his door was a shot to your adrenaline. His lips were on yours in a matter of no time, a bruising kiss administered. Your fists balled in his shirt, almost ripping the flimsy fabric. His hands trailed up your back and into your hair, suddenly pulling your hair back and exposing your neck for him to ravage. You gasped loudly as he sucked on the skin above your pulse, leaving a dark purple mark there. Peter trailed kissed up to your earlobe, stopping for a moment.

“You’ve been very bad tonight, (Y/N), and bad girls don’t go unpunished. Bad girls learn their lessons,” he whispered sultrily. Heat pooled between your legs at his erotic choice of words. He hooked his hand behind your knee and pulled your leg around his waist, pressing his pant-clad groin right up against your core. You groaned at the sensation and he nipped at your lobe. Rolling your hips against him greedily, he growled primally and gripped your waist, holding you in place.

“Take off your clothes and get on the bed on your hands and knees,” Peter ordered. You shimmied out of your dress as directed and snapped open your bra, but left on your panties. His eyes were glued to your body and you couldn’t help growing wetter at the look in his eyes, one you’d never seen before. Like he was going to devour you whole.

Once you were positioned properly on his bed, he walked behind you so he was completely out of your vision. Your anticipation grew with every heavy stomp of his rocket boots. His hand was then on your back, forcing your down further so that your face was pressing against his mattress and your bottom was high in the air.

A few moments later, a heavy slap echoed not only through the room, but through your body as well. It stung only for a second or so, for Peter was quick to gently caress your sore cheek. But the sweetness didn’t last long either, for another slap was brought down. Even though it hurt, your body craved more.

“See this ass?” he asked, squeezing your butt for emphasis. “This is mine. You are mine and only mine.” Right after he finished speaking, three consecutive smacks made your bottom raw. “And when other people take what’s mine, like that douchebag at the bar for example, I don’t get too happy.” Another smack, rougher than all the ones before and you couldn’t help groaning at the pain. “Such a nice little ass,” he murmured to himself.

Before you knew it, you were roughly being pulled back by your hips. Peter’s shirt was off and being tied around your wrists.

“Put your hands behind your head and lie back,” he directed. You did so and he used his hands to spread your legs apart. His fingers dug deep in your thighs, enough to know you find bruises. When his head was positioned between your legs, he sunk his teeth into the smoothness of your inner thighs. Then littered your skin with more hickeys, marking you as his own.

Your underwear was off in the blink of an eye and Peter’s fingers curled inside you, pumping at a killer pace.

Fuck, Peter,” you moaned sensually. Your hands strained against your restraints and you cried out again when his tongue teased your clit. “Oh God, I’m gonna cum!” You barely had time to tighten around his fingers before he removed them.

“Come on now, you didn’t think it was gonna be that easy did you?” he smirked at you. You whined but he kissed you softly to silence you. His pants and boxers joined you dress in a pile on the floor and he pounced on you, lining himself up at your entrance. You felt yourself dripping on the sheets below you, desperate for his cock.

“Please,” you whimpered, for you’d surely explode if he didn’t do something. You laid your bound wrists around his neck and urged him to move.

“Who do you belong to?”

“You.”

“And?”

“Only you.”

“That’s right,” he chuckled evilly before thrusting into you aggressively. His cock filled you nicely, hitting your g-spot almost instantly. A rhythm had started and a bonfire in your lower stomach had kindled. Already close, it didn’t take long for you to be screaming his name once more. When released his warmth inside you, he buried his face in your neck and growled ‘mine’, driving you over the edge once more. His hands squeezed your hips so tightly his knuckles were white.

He slumped down next to you, a pleased smile on his face. Propping himself up on his elbows, he untied your wrists and brought you into a kiss. It was sweet, just what you needed after a night like that. Peter encased you in both of his arms, holding you close as if you were going to run off somewhere. And as you drifted off to sleep, he repeated the word that made your heart expand and your chest almost collapse on itself.

“Mine.”

“What the hell?”

Written by: @ilovebeingjoyful
Warnings: Swearing
Pairing: None
AN: I seriously thought about this one shot laying in bed. I started dying laughing! XD Also…poor Bucky. 
PS: This is kinda long…XD


Coming out of cryo was a blessing and a curse for Bucky, it was a blessing because now he was as normal as he could possibly be, but it was a curse because now he was going to have to adjust to this new era and take in—a lot. During his time in HYDRA he seen a lot of odd things, but he really was not fully there mentally. So, in his mind it wasn’t really being processed, but now that he was more aware of what was going around him he soon realized that times have certainly changed. Seeing a teenage boy wearing a red jumpsuit and crawling on the ceiling and shooting webs from his wrists really made him ask the question, “What the hell is that?” Seeing super soldiers in tanks, “What the hell?” Little did he know that, “What the hell…” Would be a phrase that will be coming out of his mouth…a lot. 

Bucky had just come out of his group therapy lead by Sam when he got the call from Steve that there was an emergency. Rushing to the tower with Sam he was met with the team sitting around a table. Things were still a bit awkward between him and Tony, but they did their best to stay as civil as they could. Bucky took a seat between Natasha and Sam as Steve walked up to the front of the room, “Okay, I got received a message from the Guardians today. They said they will be arriving here soon to give us a lead on Thanos. Things seem to be getting serious.” Bucky furrowed his brow slightly not having a clue as to who the Guardians were or who Thanos is, so he waited till after Steve’s briefing and dismissal of everyone to walk up to him. 

“Steve…” Bucky asked quietly with his hands in his pockets. Steve looked up from his tablet and gave him warm smile. 
“Hey, punk! How was the group session today?” Steve asked as he leaned against the table crossing his arms. 
“It was good. The group has been very welcoming.” Running his flesh hand through his hair.
“I’m glad to hear that.” Steve smiled but searching his friend’s demeanor, “You okay?” Tilting his head.
“Yeah. I am fine. I just–who are the Guardians and Thanos?” Bucky asked, “I have not been really caught up to speed on all this.” 

A smirk came across Steve’s face before chuckling, “OH! Umm..weeeelllll….” Steve explained to Bucky who the guardians were and how they are kinda the Avengers but in space. He told him about the threat of Thanos and the infinity stones–basically everything–well maybe not everything. Bucky’s brows were slightly furrowed as his mouth hung slightly opened and his eyes nearly squinting. 

“Soooo….aliens.” Bucky finally spoke, “There are aliens…in space…an alien jail where these–Guardians of the Galaxy broke out of and they were parted by another alien race after this Thanos–alien–tried to kill them?” His voice was slow as he tried to process what he was saying from what he had just heard.
“Basically—yeah.” Steve chuckled as Bucky’s metal hand rubbed his forehead.
“What the hell…” He grumbled.
“OH Bucky–one more thing, about some of the members of the Guar–”
“Captain Rogers,” FRIDAY interrupted, “The Guardians have arrived.” 

Steve closed his mouth, “Okay, thank you.” Before patting Bucky’s back, “Just–don’t stare.” Moving out of the door.
“Don’t stare? What is that…”

Keep reading

People who hate on a character who hasn’t shown up yet in Voltron:

Lotor= Evil
Lotor=Raccoon
Lotor=Sincline from Go Lion misinformation.

How I see it:

So you are judging the character of past incarnations, without thinking of all the changes VLD have done since the original. You know, Pidge is a girl, Shiro is alive, Keith is half Galra, Lance is Blue Paladin and Hunk is Hella smart but uses food to explain it, Allura “isn’t” white and is a major bad ass and Coran is no longer a stick in the mud. Zarkon got an character update, Haggar isn’t as scary looking as she was, Blade of Marmora exists, not all Galra are evil.

Y'all are not doing the show a favor at all with that hate. Don’t like, block list or stay off the tags. The Negative aspects of the Voltron Fandom needs to stop.

Besides, “evil” is a black and white term depending on what side you are on. For all we know, Altea could have been the bad guys 10,000 years ago. And Raccoon, please that’s not an insult, that’s a damn compliment. Raccoons holds great significants in Native American culture.

They are sly, cunning and brave. They are flexible, smart and intelligent. They have to be to survive and eat.