damn my hair is on point today

The Spider Tattoo (Peter Parker x Reader) Soulmate AU

Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

*Please don’t plagiarize my work, thank you :3*

Summary: You hate the idea of soulmate tattoo’s, probably because there’s a giant fricking spider on your hip that moves, as most soulmate tattoos do. But see, most soulmate tattoos aren’t huge fucking spiders, so you have the right to be freaked out.

Warnings: Lots of swearing. More than usual. Oops. Requested by @crowleys-poppet-queen-of-asgard

Word Count: 1,072


Soulmates were stupid. Worst idea ever. Who the hell even thought of them? From what you learned in health class, every person has a tattoo appear on their skin when they find what they love best, and that tattoo is on that exact place on their soulmate’s body, meaning somewhere in the world there was a person with an tiny typewriter right behind their ear.

“So why the fuck do I have a giant ass spider on my hip?” You scream at no one in particular, eyeing the ugly thing through your mirror. You pull your sweatshirt down again, covering the spider. The only good part about it was that it resembled Spiderman’s symbol, one of your favorite heroes. On the con side though, whenever a soulmate was feeling strong emotions, their tattoo would move. So once or twice a day, the giant ass spider would move. You cringe at the thought.

You grab your backpack and angrily shove your books into your backpack, muttering rapidly in a mocking voice. “Soulmates are a beautiful thing, they said.”

The backpack was slung over your shoulder as you stomped out the door. “You’ll love getting your tattoo, they said.

“Well they can go fuck themselves!” You scream into the empty house, slamming the door behind you.

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things I, a jungkook stan, will never be able to recover from: 

  1. the police uniform in dope + parted dark hair
  2. black leather pants from the run era
  3. those lines in Not Today, Baepsae, and We Are Bulletproof (you know the ones)
  4. classroom ideal (those damn gloves n his voice and the belt chain bye)
  5. RAINISM X 10000000059687985346823994536795
  6. his hair in the Young Forever jacket shoot
  7. those damn circle glasses
  8. helix piercings
  9. smirking all over the place during BST
  10. in fact the entire BST era
  11. IN FACT every era ever
  12. that performance where he fkcing took off his jacket to reveal the worlds biggest biceps and destroyed my existence
  13. anytime hes cried ever
  14. that time he was playing w/ puppies n was giggling all over the place
  15. i could go on forever but u get the point 
2

Please? Part 54

3000+ words

Please? Masterlist


The shower felt amazing. The water never got too hot, never got cold, and the soap makes you feel so clean and refresh. It’s like the Irish Spring washed away all your worries with Alexandria, though the few problems still lie with you the second the water is turned off.

You hear a gunshot coming from somewhere outside as you make your way through the hallways. Your heart starts to pound in your chest as Daryl trying to run off and gets himself shot enters your mind. All this worry every time a gun goes off, it’ll be the death of you.

Taking off, you spot the open door and hear  Negan talking. You take that as a good sign and slow down, arriving into the heat of the day, in that pretty new dress Negan picked out for you. He loved you in dresses, but then again, he loved all his wives in dresses.

“Hot damn, I will not have time to screw any of my wives today.” Negan groans. Your eyes land on him and the figure beside him. “Okay, maybe one.”

Your attention shifts to Daryl, fighting at Dwight’s side. He tries to lunge at Negan, but Dwight has a grip on the back of his sweater. His attitude changes when his eyes meet yours.

“And there she is, right on cue.” Negan points to you, motioning for you to come over.

Carl looks at you, his hair covering the bandage over his right eye. You don’t take another step, worried on how or why. Surely he didn’t stow away on that truck coming back from Alexandria, he would have been found out by then, since most of that load was taken in already.

“The fuck.” Is all you can say.

“My words exactly.” Negan nods. “Come on, inside.” He heads inside, behind Dwight, Daryl, and a few other of the Saviors who keep talking about their next meal.

Inside, Negan shut the door after you. He told you and Carl to stay by his side, which you agreed with a kiss to the cheek. Getting on Negan’s good side wasn’t so hard, which is something you hope Carl picks up on.

“Watch this.” Negan grins at Carl and steps over to the railing that overlooks the floor. His men are bustling about, doing their job, some of them taking breaks when they shouldn’t be. Of course, they all stop what they’re doing once they take notice that their leader is standing over them. They all take the knee, bowing their heads.

You aren’t sure of the reason, but you follow Negan around without question as he shows Carl around the Sanctuary. To you, this is a bad idea. If he plans on sending Carl home, then Carl has all this information about the place. If he plans on killing him, this feels like a total waste of time.

Either way, you aren’t too pleased when Negan shows him the room where the other wives sit and gossip for the most part of their days, the room you would be stuck in if Negan didn’t seem so fond of how you handle yourself.

“Now this may be overwhelming. You can stare all you like, none of us mind. Oh,” Negan stops Carl before walking into the fancy sitting room. “Just not that one. She’s got a damn mouth on her.” Negan winks and opens the doors.

Sherry and Amber look up from one of the couches as if they shouldn’t have been talking about something. You have a suspicion you know what; Amber’s ex, Mark. She snuck out the other night to be with him, though you knew that was none of your business, and Negan would find out on his own anyhow.

“Can I speak to you, wife?” Negan narrows his eyes in on Sherry and motions over to the cooler on a table, where most of the wine is kept, along with a few beers, since Tanya preferred her beer over wine.

Sherry rolls her eyes, but leaves Amber’s side and obliges Negan’s request.

Carl looks around, though he isn’t nervous as a boy his age should be in a room full of beautiful women. He never learned how to be a teenage boy, therefore, he doesn’t know how he should feel. The boy had to grow up so fast, he missed the important steps of life.

“Carl, what the hell?” You whisper in a low voice.

“I should ask you the same question.”  Carl says emphatically. “Why are you on Negan’s side?”

You part your lips to speak, but you realize you don’t know what to say. “It’s complicated. I’m just surviving.” You repeat the same words to Carl that you tell yourself every night before falling asleep beside that man you call your husband.

The young man watches you, his face emotionless under his sheriffs hat. It amazes you that this one thing, this one reminder of Atlanta, remains. It hardly looks as rough as you feel, after all the shit you’ve been through, after everything Carl has been through, it still stands.

To think of a time before Atlanta, it feels like a million years ago. Back when Carl had hope in his eyes, back when Lori and Shane were sharing a tent, back when Daryl would stare at you from across the campsite, terrified to approach you.

Negan walks over to Carl, throwing you out of your daydream. He silently hands Carl a beer, which he takes without a word. Negan smirks at him and kisses your forehead, patting you on the butt before he walks over to his other wife, Amber. She’s sitting in the corner, trying not to cry with Negan in the room. You knew what they had been up to since he wasn’t paying them much attention, but you also knew Negan would have ways of finding out.

He sits in front of her, whispering in a low voice so none of you could hear, though you know what he’s telling her. She cheated on Negan with her ex, Mark. She still loved him, still pined after him. She cried herself to sleep almost every night.

You gaze over at Carl, watch him sniff the beer, but not yet raise it to his lips. He instantly drops it to his side, holding it there and watching Negan talk with the blonde.

“See, I am a very forgiving guy.” Negan looks over at Sherry as he stands up. “I know how hard this must be, for both of you.” He walks over to you, pulling you against him with one hand and tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

Sherry shoots him a stare, though nothing is behind it. She’ll continue to be with Negan, just like you will. It ensures her survival, along with Dwight’s, just as it ensures yours and Daryl’s lives.

Negan presses his lips against yours, giving you a long kiss, which you return. It’s almost like kissing him with sandpaper glued to his chin, but his lips are soft and gentle this time. He pulls back only after you hear two sets of footsteps walking into the room.

You look over, Negan still pressing you against him, to see Daryl and Dwight. Daryl is avoiding eye contact, but you can see him shaking from anger. He’s holding a plate full of fruit that Negan walks over and tastes.

Daryl looks up and watches Negan with distain. His mouth twitches and he utters something along the lines of, “why him?”

“Goddamn, he speaks!” Negan laughs and leans back, taking a good look at Daryl. “That is none of your goddamn business. Now, offer my wife some of that delicious fruit.”

Hesitating, Daryl turns to you and holds out the plate, not wanting to give Negan the chance to hurt Carl. His hands shake a little.

“I’m fine, thank you.” You cross your arms over your chest and play with the pendant around your neck, pulling it to the side and twisting it in your fingers.

“No, take a piece. Aren’t apples your favorite? Here.” Negan takes an apple slice off the tray and holds it out, indicating that you’re meant to take a bite. At first, you think about taking it out of his hand, but then he may make a scene.

Instead, you allow him to hold the apple as you take a bite, chewing it up until it was nothing but mush. It does taste amazing, probably some of the best apples you’ve tasted. Or maybe that was because you haven’t had one in years.

“Amazing…” You smile some at Negan.

“Y/N, why don’t you let me and the boy have some alone time. Hang out here, or make Daryl do some chores for me.” He leans over and gives you another kiss, this time a little harder, scratching your chin and cheeks before he pulls away and walks off, arm around Carl.

You look at Daryl, how he’s breathing heavy and ready to charge. You feel horrible, you feel like this is all your fault and you want to do something to change it. But if you had said no to Negan, Daryl might have ended up dead once he realized the two of you were together. Or if you would have left the group years ago, perhaps Negan wouldn’t have been a problem for Rick and the others.

Then again, life is funny. Something would have spun around, Daryl could have died a long time ago if he didn’t have you to think about. He may have run off from the group, ended up dead because of Shane, or Beth, or Aaron. Anything is possible.

“Dwight.” You spin on your heel and drop your arms at your sides, poking out your hip. “I want Daryl to shine all my new shoes. They’re filthy.”

Daryl is taken into the room that was once yours, before Negan insisted on you sleeping beside him most nights. Dwight sat him on the floor and tossed all the shoes you wanted clean at him, giving him some handmade shoe polish and a rag.

“Do as she says.” Dwight commands Daryl, though Daryl had already begun cleaning the shoes, never once looking at you.

“He got it, Dwight.” You snap, watching as the man jumps some and looks down at you. He will never admit it, but it’s afraid of you now. He’s afraid at how high you’ve climbed since being inside the sanctuary. “I have an order for you as well. Marybeth has some extra clothes for me to try in her room. Go grab them so Daryl can clean them.”

Dwight looks at you as if he may not accept you ordering him around, but you see the fear flash across his eyes as he thinks of what Negan would say. He scurries out of the room without another word and heads across the building, all the way to find Marybeth, who you knew would be tricky to find. She likes to hide out, not be seen.

You take a seat on the bed, watching as Daryl finishes the first shoe. He sets it aside and starts on another, not saying a word. You watch as he’s careful, not wanting to upset anybody. At this point, you’re a little surprised he hasn’t spoken.

“I’ll get us out of this.” You whisper, catching Daryl off guard so he slips and drops your shoe. He quickly picks it back up, starting all over with cleaning it. “I love you, Daryl.”

“Yeah.” He grunts, still not gazing your way. “S’why ya sleep with ‘im?”

“I do what I have to.”

Daryl looks up at you, his mouth drawn in a thin line, but his chin trembles. “Coulda fought him. I get it. Ya want someone else. Don’t have ta lie.” He goes right back to cleaning.

“I don’t want anyone else, Daryl.” You huff, standing up and looking down at him. You don’t know if you want to kiss him or hit him for saying such a thing. “The closer I get to him, the more information I’ll find out. I’ll be able to get you out of here, to help kill him.”

“Ya fucked him.”

And that is the second time Daryl accused you of screwing another man. You ran your fingers through your hair, not entirely sure how to answer to that. “I—I did it—I had to…”

It’s almost as if time slowed down. Daryl’s hand slows down, barely moving if at all on your boot. He licks his lips and straightens his back, still on his knees. “I wouldn’t’ve. Part of ya wanted to.”

“No. No part of me wanted to say yes to him. I want you, baby. It’s always been you, it will always be you. Play along, at least until I can figure out how to get you out of here.” You plead.

Daryl shifts his gaze up at you, those baby blue orbs full of hatred. It softens, somewhat, when he sees your eyebrows knitted together and the tears forming in your eyes. He doesn’t say anything, but ducks his head and continues to clean your boots.

The iron. You’ve heard the story about the iron from Dwight. That was his punishment for running away, but then Negan forgave him after he burned half his face off. It’s happened to a few others as well, including a man named Francis. He had his hand burned by the iron for stealing, though he hardly talks about it, he’s hardly seen anymore.

Daryl is in the crowd, holding his mop at the ready, just like you instructed him to do. You can’t help but keep your eyes on him as you walk between Negan and Carl, above everyone on the ground. He’s watching you, too, though you can’t see his expression from so high up.

They all kneel when Negan hits Lucille against the railing, causing you and Carl to jump a little out of your skins. It’s loud, it echoes. You watch as a man tied in the chair gasps and tries to get his hands free.

Negan starts his speech, talking about the rules, and how he cannot let them slide, even though he wants to let them. He goes on to say that rules keep the Saviors going, it keeps everyone on track. You start to tune it out after a few lines, though. You have heard him speak the same words a thousand different ways by now.

The sea on men and women rise to their feet when Negan hits the ground. He walks over to Dwight, you just behind him, and slips on a glove. It’s quiet, except for Negan’s comments as Dwight readies the iron, everyone waiting to see Mark get punished for his sins.

Daryl leans against the pole of the mop, looking exhausted. You try to catch his eye, to ask him if he’s okay, but Daryl never looks away from Mark, a little worry spread across his face as he watches the man sweat. This could be him if Negan ever catches you two together.

Negan presses the hot iron against Mark’s face. The sound that escapes his lips almost doesn’t sound human at first. It’s a horrific scream, cutting right through you. Goosebumps travel down your arms as you watch him squirming in his seat, trying to back away from the heat.

With a quick look around the room, you notice Carl and Daryl share a look, you catch Amber lunging forward and Sherry stopping her, wrapping her arms around the blonde for security. Dwight cringes where he stands, not able to watch as Negan keeps the iron on this man’s head, just has he once did to Dwight.

Ten seconds in, you make yourself look back at the man as he grows quiet. He’s passed out from the pain, a nice burn on the side of his head now, making him look a little like Harvey Dent.

“Pissed himself.” Negan shakes his head. “Daryl, clean that up.” He commands.

Daryl takes a few steps forward, scooting the bucket across the floor, passing you in the process. He plops the mop on the floor, between the man’s legs, and begins mopping up the piss.

“Take a good look, gentlemen.” Negan stands in the middle of the circle, turning his head to look at everyone. “This is what happens when you cross me, when you cross us. Now I don’t want to ever have to do this again, but I will.” His gaze falls on you, flicking to Daryl and back at you, a knowing smile plastered to his lips. “I will always find out.”

Back to Alexandria you go along with Negan and Carl. After you found out, you went to change, to gather a few things for the road. Sherry found you, offering you help. At first, you were worried about her offer, worried she may actually be Negan’s little spy. But there’s something… different about her.

“We’re the same, in a sense.” She whispers, looking over her shoulder and down the hall. “I can’t let Negan do to you what he’s done to me, to Amber, to the others.”

“What are you saying?” You raise an eyebrow at her, crossing your arms over your chest. You keep up the tough girl front, still unsure of Sherry’s actions.

She clears her throat and looks back at you, her eyes wide and her lip between her teeth. “With Negan gone, Daryl will have time to run. I can help.”

“And why would you help me?” You ask with a laugh.

Sherry sighs. “Because time has run out for me and Dwight. That flame is gone, but Daryl and you have a chance. I’ll help him escape once you leave. He’ll be able to get out of here. Negan’s men, they’re careless without him here.”

“If you’re lying to me, Sherry.” You walk up to her, standing so close you can feel the heat off her body. “I will make sure you answer to Negan.”

As you walk away, you realize how scary you’ve become.

Hair Game (Peter Parker x poc!reader insert)

Originally posted by spiderholland

Originally posted by thecoolcoolcat

Pairing: poc!reader x Peter Parker

Word Count: 1039

Summary: When it comes to natural hair management, it was never easy for (Name). Her hair was coarse, tangled easily, and soaked up water like a sponge. Thankfully, (Name) had a little help to ensure that her hair game was strong.

Author Note: I LOVE writing hair-themed pieces, so I decided to create another one. Keep in mind Peter will be 18 in this one-shot. Enjoy~!

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The Joker x Reader - “Smarty Pants”

He takes you everywhere with him; you sure come in handy and you have an impeccable reputation when it comes to your skills. But why would he think that a nerdy girl can’t get wild?! Well, you are determined to prove him wrong.

Your reading is interrupted by the commotion going on outside your bedroom: gunshots, screaming, cursing and doors being kicked opened.

What now?! you think, turning the page, continuing your book when you hear:

“Nyx! NYX!!!!!!!!! Where the hell are you, you son of a bitch?!”

You look down at Nyx’s dead body under your feet, a bit startled. That’s Mister J’s voice looking for the jerk; he’s probably not going to like this. Dammit! Your door gets kicked opened and you lift your head from your book, adjusting your reading glasses and look at The Joker, who’s now standing there, not very happy to say the least.

“Doll, I didn’t know you’re here,” he frowns, stepping inside. “Still working for the…ass..hole…” he notices Nyx’s corpse with the chopstick in his eye and your feet resting on top of the body.

“Not anymore, Mister J,” you close your book, hoping he won’t snap. “This was the second time he tried to rape me, so I had to defend myself,” you say, pulling out the chopstick, wiping it on your shirt and placing it back in your messy bun.

J narrows his eyes and lowers his gun.

“Can’t say that I blame you then, but I sure wanted to blow his brains out myself. What are you reading, Doll?” he exhales, still annoyed.

“Quantum Physics and Applications,” you show him the cover, smiling.

“Any good?” he squints his eyes, intrigued.

“Pretty boring actually but interesting enough,” you lift your shoulders and take your feet out of the high heels, getting up the couch. The shoes are left on Nyx’s chest since the hills are buried deep in his flesh.

“You’re such a smart Doll; I like clever girls…” he grins, analyzing you. “We’re going to blow this place up, care to get out of here?” The Joker sniffles, signaling you to move and you do so. You quickly cram a few books and all your reading glasses in your backpack and head out the door.

You probably seem very disappointed noticing all the blood on the hallway since you don’t have any shoes on.

“Yo, Frosty!” J yells and Jonny pops his head from the next room.

“Yes, sir!”

“Be a gentleman and help the lady out,” he orders, starting to walk away.

“Of course, boss. Hi, Y/N,” he comes in front of you, waiting.

“Hi, Frost, I didn’t see you in forever,” you genuinely grin, surprised. He lifts you up in his arms, carrying you over the soiled hallway while you’re both chit chatting.

“Hey, Doll,” The Joker interrupts, “ wanna come work for me? I assume you’re unemployed for the moment.”

“Really?” you inquire, kind of excited.

He turns and snaps at you:
“I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure, OK????!!!!!”

Shit, he has such a temper, you think, but you are used to everything by now. You worked for so many messed up people.

“OK, Mister J. And yes, I will come work for you,” you sweetly smile and his sour expression diminishes.

“Good, I always wanted you to work for me. I like smart girls.”   Didn’t he say this already?

******************

He takes you everywhere with him; you sure come in handy and you have an impeccable reputation when it comes to your skills.

“Y/N, am I getting a good deal out of this?” he taps his cane on the floor, getting you attention at the meeting and you lift your eyes up, gazing at all those men in the VIP room that devour you with their eyes. Creeps! You sure are wanted by a lot of them and you know it, but you have the right to decide who you’ll work for so… yeah, here you are.

“No, Mister J, the price of diamonds went up with 15% on the black market since last week. You need to get at least 1 million more in order for this to be a good deal.”

“Ahhhh, did you hear that boys? I’m getting screwed over! Make it two millions for trying to trick me,” he snarls, giving them a crazy look. “I don’t like it when people try to cross me, got it?” he grins his silver teeth, panting. They Know better than not to agree with The Clown Prince of Crime. He gets what he wants.

*******************

After the meeting, he sits in his armchair, keeping an eye on the club and staring you down also.

“What are you reading, Pumpkin?” he addresses you, biting on his lower lip.

“Dark Matter and Black Holes,” you reply, wondering why in the world he keeps on calling you all these pet names, but you know better than opening your mouth to protest about it.

“Care to elaborate?” J lifts himself up and comes on the couch, nonchalantly placing his head on your knees and lifting his feet up on the pillows.

“Are you sure?”

He rolls his eyes and you start talking and gesticulating because you sure don’t want to make him mad. The Joker finds himself interested in your little presentation; you sure put a lot of passion into it since you love the subject. He even asks a few questions that you are more than happy to answer, blushing when he takes your glasses off and you instinctively reach for your chopstick.

“Don’t you dare using that chopstick on me, Y/N,” he cracks his neck, growling.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry, old defensive habit, I swear I am not going to stab you in the eye; I really love your eyes!” you blur out fast, hoping his not going to kill you for your transgression. Shit, your cheeks are burning when you realize what came out of your mouth.

“Do you now, Kitten?” he snickers, putting your reading glasses back on.

You nod a fast yes, hoping you’re on steady ground. You wouldn’t know, but The Joker felt like he was taking a piece of lingerie off when he took your glasses away. It made him feel so strange and now he wonders if he found himself a new kink. Like he needs another one. But he sure loves all the colored frames you have to match all your sexy enough outfits (as he refers to them). You’re pretty and nerdy, not a bad combo.

“Tell me something in French, Doll,” he requests and you start talking, intrigued on why he’s taking your glasses off again. Weird but, hey, whatever.

“That sounds so sexy, what does it mean, huh?”

“Last night I washed dishes and did a bunch of laundry,” you chuckle, taking your glasses from his hand and placing them on his face. J doesn’t stop you and you gasp while he laughs at the translation; he sure thought it meant something naughty.

“Wow, Mister J, you look so good with glasses,” you utter, mesmerized. The thin green frames sure match his hair and shirt perfectly.

“You think so, Doll?” he winks and you get flustered, upset at yourself for saying such sweet nothings; you’re not the type. Stupid hormones! you scold yourself in your head, aggravated.

“U-hum,” you mumble and take your glasses back. Jesus, why do you feel so warm? It sure felt like you were undressing him just now when you took his glasses away. My God, please don’t let this be a new kink, you don’t need it, thank you.

The Joker traces your jaw line to tease you more because he’s a jerk:

“Tell me something in Italian, Y/N,” he pleads, biting his tongue. You can’t help but glare at his lips and start rambling.

“I like the way it sounds, Princess. What does it mean?”

“All the dirty things I want you to do to me tonight.”    Did this crap just came out of your mouth?!

“Ha-ha-ha, that’s better, finally something I wanna hear,” he cracks up as you squirm, uncomfortable as hell.

“No, no, no, no, Mister J, that’s what it literally means, not that I want you to…Christ, this sounds terrible,” you try to defend yourself and J decides to give you a break. He gets up from your lap, still snickering and you so want to cover your face but you don’t. It would make it worse.

“I guess we had enough foreign languages for tonight, right? Let’s get back to the Penthouse, it’s getting late.”

***************************

“Y/N, am I getting a good deal out of this?”

“No,” you promptly answer, closing the book you’re reading. “The price of guns and explosives on the black market went up 17.2% this week. You need at least $500.000 for this to be a good deal.”

“Well, I’ll be damn,” he passes his fingers through his hair, snarling towards the other business partners in the room. “How did I get this rich on my own without her?! Make it 1 million boys, just for insulting me with your stupid offer!”

*************************

After another successful meeting (for The Joker, that is), he becomes interested in your book.

“And what are we reading today, hm?” he points towards the covers, coming over to your couch and placing his head in your lap again.

“The Science of Interstellar,” you hover over him, excited to share.

“Care to elaborate?”

“Oh, yeah, I love this book, “ and you keep on talking and talking and J finds himself immersed in the subject, not even being bored. He takes your glasses off again and inhales deeply, listening to the sound of your voice. Why does he keep on taking your glasses off?!

“Oh!!!” you suddenly jump a bit, ending your speech. “I love this song!”

“Huh?” The Joker asks, getting up because you bounce your legs, impatient. He never saw you show any interest in anything like this and you sure accompany him at his meetings a lot. Since he’s a complete jerk, he decides to wear your glasses and you gulp when seeing how good they look on him:

“Wow, Mister J, you look soooo stunning with glasses!”

“Yeah, I know, I was told before by a nerdy girl,” J licks his lips and you get up from the couch, take your jacket out and toss it in his lap, starting to swing your hips to the rhythm of the song. (which is Madonna & David Guetta- “Revolver” by the way).

What is she doing?! J asks himself, since you never did this before. You sure didn’t have any alcohol. It’s the hormones, but he wouldn’t know.

 “My love’s a revolver, my sex is a killer,

Do you wanna die happy,

Do you wanna die happy?” you sing along and start giving him a lap dance he didn’t expect in a million years. Jeez, who thought you had it in you? But he likes it, oh yeah, he likes it because you are actually very good at it. He runs his hands on the side of your legs and you reach your hand for your chopstick. J sure wants to grab his gun but you stop him and lean over to whisper in his ear:
“I’m not gonna use it, I told you I like your eyes…yes?” and you kiss him, euphoric, throwing the chopstick on the table to let your long red hair loose.

Holy shit, the Joker thinks, completely surprised by the whole thing. Who would have thought you are so naughty?! This is turning out to be a nice night, especially since he learned about Interstellar stuff also. He doesn’t remember a word you said earlier right now because you sure grind against him, ready to kiss him again.

“Ohhh, Daddy likes it,” he grins, smacking his lips and you straddle his lap, pulling on his bottom lip.

“Really?” you stare at his eyes again and…the song is over. “Ah, too bad,” you pout and get up, fixing your hair like nothing happened. “Shame is over, I sure love this song, it drives me wild,” you signal for your jacket and J hands it over, intrigued. WTF, are you the same person?! He’s sure aroused as hell.

“I didn’t think you could do such a thing, Doll,” J admits, attempting to cross his legs but he can’t so he gives up.

“Why, because I read books and I’m smart?!” you suddenly feel offended.

“A-ha,” he is fast in replying since he sees an opportunity there.

“You have no idea how crazy I’m in bed; don’t generalize things just because I’m a bookworm Mister J!” you sulk, furrowing your eyebrows.

“If you say so…” he rolls his eyes, reaching for your book.

“What, you don’t believe me?!” you kind of yell, even more annoyed.

The Joker just lifts his shoulders up, pretending to dismiss your words.

“You want me to prove it to you?!” you almost shout, antagonized at his attitude.

“If you insis..” J doesn’t get to finish because you yank his glasses away, pissed and wanting him in the same time, crushing his lips and tearing his shirt off while he struggles to be the dominant one (without success)for the first 15 minutes. That didn’t happen before but he admits he doesn’t mind it.

Thank God the music is deafening so nobody hears your moaning and screaming and his grunting because it would be very loud.

**********************

You watch him tuck his shirt in and you are just finishing up buttoning your tight capris.

You are panicking because now you realize what a bad idea this was. Sleeping with your boss?! Dammit, stupid hormones!!!

“You were sure telling the truth, Pumpkin, Daddy loved it,” he purrs, satisfied.

“What’s wrong?” he wants to know when he realizes you’re talking to yourself.

“I don’t sleep around, Mister J,” you whimper, upset.

“You’re not sleeping around, Doll, you’re sleeping with me, ok?” The Joker huffs, not getting the picture.

“Oh my God, stupid hormones!” you mutter, massaging your temples.

“What was that, Y/N?” he asks because he can’t hear over the music.

“I said it was awesome!” you raise your voice, mad at your stupid nerdy ass. But it was really awesome, can’t lie about it.

**********************

The next day he took you over to Jax’s hideout for a meeting, of course.

“Doll, am I getting a good deal?” J lifts your chin from your book, a bit vexed you are not paying attention. You were actually thinking about how good he looks naked and it sure bugs you.

“No, the price of gold went up 12.3% since last week. You need at least $750.000 for this to be a good deal,” you sigh, watching all the dudes staring you down.

“Mister J, I’ll give you 2 millions more if you let Y/N work for me for a month,” Jax is fast to negotiate and since J believes it’s a good deal, he agrees:

“Done!”

You look up at him with your mouth open, not excited at all:
“I don’t want to  stay here, Mister J, I work for you,” you complain, hurt he is giving you away like you’re a thing.

“It’s just a month, Doll, you’ll be fine. Plus, I wasn’t asking, got it?” he shoves his finger in your face, irked because he hates insubordination.
You sniffle, wanting to cry with anger but you keep it together and start reading again, not really seeing the words.

*****************************

The Joker starts missing you after two days and it annoys him sooooo much. He keeps on looking at the books and reading glasses you left behind. You didn’t take everything with you since you will be gone for only four weeks. How hard can it be without her? he thinks. It’s not that he didn’t manage without you before you came to work for him. Piece of cake, he decides.

He brought one of the girls from the club, dressed her with your clothes and gave her a pair of your glasses. He even takes her to a meeting and she is sitting on the couch like you used to, reading a book she doesn’t understand.

“Doll, am I getting a good deal?” he turns towards the girl and she freezes.

“Ummm… I don’t know Mister J… “ she honestly replies, scared.

“How can you not know?!” he screams at her. “Y/N would know!”

“I’m sorry Mister J,” she apologizes and starts crying.

“Oooh, shut up!” he cuts her off, wanting to strangle her.

That didn’t go well.

After everyone left, he goes and places his head on her knees, aggravated she’s not smart like you.

“Which one of her books are you reading?” he questions the girl and she shows him:

“Quantum Physics and Applications,” she manages to articulate, almost shaking.

“I know that one,” he smiles for a second then he gets grouchy again. “Care to elaborate?” he barks at her and the poor girl start bawling, stammering her words:
“I-I don’t k-know, M-Mister J, I c-can’t understand a-anything.”

“My god, you’re so stupid!” he elbows her with murder on his mind. “Do you know French?”

“N-No,” she keeps on weeping, scared for her life.

“Do you know Italian?”

“N-No.”

“Then what the hell are you doing here, huh? GET OUT!!!!!!” he shouts, getting up and pushing her away.
That didn’t go well.

*************************

“Y/N, Mister J is here,” Jax lets you know and you don’t lift your eyes from your book because you don’t want to see him. What is he doing here after 3 days he basically sold you for more money?! You don’t want to work for Jax, you don’t like him. You only pick employers you like. And right now you don’t like J either. Big problem I guess.

“Mister J would like to drink a…”

“I know what he likes!” you lift yourself from the couch, aggravated, slamming your book to the side, still not glancing his way and go to mix his drink. When you bring it back and hand it over, The Joker touches your fingers with his, holding them for a few seconds and you finally glare at him. What the…? He’s wearing your purple reading glasses to match his jacket and cane. Your mouth opens with surprise and he just blinks slowly, pretending he doesn’t care about anything. What kind of strategy is this?! you think, puzzled. What is he up to?!

You turn on your hills and head back to your seat when he addresses Jax:

“I want my employee back; I’ll give you 5 millions!”

“Done!” Jax is fast in agreeing before J finishes the sentence because how can he refuse such a deal?! He doesn’t know what’s going on but he doesn’t need you that badly. He’s getting so much more than he paid for you so it works for him.

In the meantime you just watch them, perplexed, hating your life: WTF, am I cattle or what?!

*******************

He’s been driving for 20 minutes and you didn’t say a word to him.

“So what’s the last book you’ve read, hm?” J starts the conversation, squeezing the steering wheel so hard it hurts.

“How to Deal With a Shitty Boyfriend!” you grumble, crossing your arms on your chest and looking out the window. (It really is the name of the book. Sometimes you read fluff like this).

“Sounds like an award winning one,” he snorts, amused you’re so feisty. “Care to elaborate?”

“NO!”

“Do you even have a boyfriend? Why would you read such nonsense?”
You bite on your cheek, moving away from him more.

“Well, then, do you care if I listen to music?” he asks because he has it all planned.

“I don’t care!”

“ ‘kaayyyy,” and he turns on his stereo. Sure enough, Madonna’s “Revolver” starts playing.

“Really?! Really?!” you get even more worked up, and finally turn towards him.

“Wha’? You said you don’t mind so…”
“Pull over!” you demand, impatient but he can’t notice it yet.
“We’re in the woods, I don’t wanna pull over,” he argues, sucking on his teeth.

“Pull over I said!” and you take your seatbelt off, making him yank at the wheel and park on a small, dusty road.
“Jeez, are you trying to…”

But you don’t let him finish. You crawl in his lap and start kissing him roughly, unbuttoning your shirt in the same time.

“God,” you moan,” this song drives me wild!!” You bite his ear and he starts purring, delighted. It worked, he thinks, horny as hell, unhooking your bra.

Stupid hormones, you think, mad at yourself again but eager to get him naked as fast as possible.

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

lordhyderon-deactivated20170208  asked:

kill me with 34

OMG! What the fuck is wrong with you, man? D: Now in revenge, i’ll write other kind of dying.

34. In a pool of your own blood

ff.net // AO3

Hyde’s day had been a nightmare.

Not only Kelso and Brooke thought it was a good day to have a big fight and leave their eldest daughter with him so they could resolve their crap alone, but the latest album shipment to Grooves was completely wrong. The distributor had screwed up his order, and he was the one who had to fix it.

He hated this part of being The Boss. He tried his damn best, but on days like this he wished he could still be the lazy kid in the basement. But nope.

Nowdays he was the owner of a growing chain of music stores that also supported small bands, giving them a chance to get heard. He was also a very stressed-out-at-the-moment husband and a very worried-for-the-past-week father.

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anonymous asked:

Can you do a fem!reader where youve been with the junkers forver (polyroadrat) and when yall join overwatch you're used to wearing tiny short cutoffs and just a thin wrap or crop top like thing and 76 has to have a 'chat' with you bc luico, mccree and others are getting distracted?

((So anon, you don’t know how happy I was when I got this because this is pretty much my HC for my OC Ava. None of the Junkers really worry about modesty, they ain’t used to the ‘normal world’ yet so this was suuuuper fun to write!!))

“Y/N?”

You froze mid-step, turning around curiously before grinning wide as your eyes landed on the vigilante Soldier: 76. You bounced on the balls of your feet slightly before walking towards the older man and cocking your head to the side. He had his mask on but it looked like the tip of his ears were slightly pink, straightening his jacket in a fidgeting motion. Head tilting to the other side, brow cocking up you continued to examine him before he cleared his throat.

“Oh sorry Soldier”, you exclaimed with a slight jump, eyes jumping back up to his mask-covered face. Rocking on your feet you gave a soft admonishing giggle for yourself before again tilting your head. “How can I help ya?”

“Y/N”, he started, rolling his shoulders as he looked down at you through the mask. He still fidgeted slightly, an uncomfortable gesture that you had seen before. “I would like to talk to you about your–choice in outfits.”

Straight and to the point, as was the vigilante’s way. Looking down at your outfit, your brow furrowed in confusion. You didn’t understand what was wrong with your outfit, you had even worn extra layers today! It was summer in Gibraltar, the little island balmy, warm and comfortable. The proximity to the ocean made it way more tolerable than the sweltering heat you had grown used to growing up in the irradiated Australian Outback so you had more than enough clothing for the weather. Today you were dressed in a pair of light, sun-faded cutoff jean shorts that ended just below your ass. You and Mako had sewn patches into it, one of a pig, another one of Jamie’s smiley faces and a neon pink pachimari. Your top was a heart covered shiny pink scarf that Mako had helped you make into a crop halter top, your smaller chest easily bound and covered by the material. Underneath you wore a baby blue bikini top, just as extra support and in case you decided to go to the beach like you had several times that week. You had two mismatched knee high socks on, one blue and red horizontal stripes, the other green and purple tie dye, both tucked into the orange sneakers Lena had given you as a gift. You spun around, looking at your outfit, legitimate confusion on your face as you turned to look back up at old man.

“What’s wrong with my clothes”, you asked incredulously, motioning up and down at your outfit.

“That’s not the problem”, Soldier answered, obviously exasperated as he pointed at your shorts and the fact that most of your torso was uncovered. “I’ve gotten several concerned comments from other agents. The revealing nature of your outfits are–distracting. ”

“But I even wore socks today”, you exclaimed, pointing at you socks for emphasis. You didn’t understand, your hand running your thick hair confusedly, scratching at your scalp. “What’s revealin’ about any of this?”

Back in Oz, what you were wearing would be considered damn near formal, covered skin being looked at as a sign of mourning and grief. There was practically no protection from the sun on the continent after the Omnium explosion, leaving the land ridiculously hot and painfully dry. While skin did require protection, usually in the form of several layers of mud or dirt as a protective barrier, wearing too many layers of clothes was practically out of the question. It would cause most to break out in heat rashes or drop from heat stroke. So most Junkers preferred to wear as few layers as possible; Jamie and Mako going completely shirtless, you wearing things that left most of your legs and torso bare. It was uncomfortable for any of you to wear more because all of you had grown used to the Junker way of living and clothing yourselves. Plus you were so particular about what touched your skin, strongly disliking the confined feel that some fabrics gave you. Winter and fall and really cool days were the only exception to any of the rules, and today definitely wasn’t a cool day.

“Look”, Soldier sighed and it just seemed more and more obvious that the man didn’t actually want to be having this conversation. He dragged a hand over his masked face, sighing once more before continuing. “You’re not an agent. I don’t have any authority over you and quite frankly I don’t care. I just thought I’d bring it to your attention.”

With that he did a sharp about face and walked off, your bewildered expression lost to the soldier. Throwing your arms up in the air, a bit of agitation slipped out as you stomped your foot and yelled at the back of the man.

“Tell them the next time they have an issue they can tell me to my face!”

Some of Jamie’s spitfire slipped out but its intensity was minimized by your sweet, awkward voice. Soldier paused for a second before you swore you saw his shoulder shake in laughter, throwing a thumbs up before continuing down the hall in the opposite direction.

The Bet Pt. 2

Synopsis: Reggie bets Archie that he can’t get with you before Christmas. Archie sets out to prove him wrong.

Pairings: Archiexreader

Warnings: Swearing, douche behavior, fluff

A/N: Just a fic I wrote during ye old hurricane. Not requested as I’m finding it a little difficult with that motivation, I’m really really sorry. This was going to go up as one fic but Tumblr has a new word cap type thing so my apologies, part. 2 up tomorrow

——————————————————

3rd person

“Nope Archie, I am the king of the Game. Granted you get points for banging a teacher and dating valerie…and veronica, damn archie you’ve had a hell of a year”

Archie shoved Reggie slightly for his comments

“See i win”

“Nope, definitely incorrect Carrot Top” archie rolled his eyes at his dark haired team mate. The two negotiated their way through the Library, practice was cancelled today, coach rolled his ankle

“Don’t believe me? Fine let’s make a bet” archie raised an eyebrow in response. He wanted to knock Reggie off his pedestal and even though he and veronica ended amicably, he was still on the rebound.

“Alright…name the terms”

Reggie looked around the library like a lion looking for the weakest gazelle

“You know that girl YN over there” archie glanced at you, head down in your book.

“Well she’s a challenge i’ve never been able to crack, if you can, well my friend I will gladly call you the King of the Game”

“I’m not even sure I want to be called that Reg” he laughed but more than half meant it.

“Okay theeen if yoouuure not up toooo it” Reggie knew exactly how to push archie’s button and damn it it was working.

“Fine okay no hassle”

“You have till Christmas to sleep with her”

“Christmas?! That’s like 3 months! I’ve never even spoken to her before!”

“Well, have to make it interesting now don’t it”


Archie POV

Ugh i hate Reggie, I hate myself more for this. I want to slap the smirk smug off his face. I huffed before standing and making my way to her. I’ve never noticed yn before, didn’t even know her name till Reggie said it, i could pass her on the street and never even know she went to the same school as me let alone in the same year. Here it goes.

“Hi” she didn’t even look up to me. Rude.

“Umm hi” still no visible reaction, head still stuck in the book, okay really rude. I need to rethink my approach, I turned to walk away but the sight of Reggie snickering in the corner made me reevaluate. 3 months. No time for hesitation. I sat down across from her.

“Hi…yn” still not acknowledging me. I reached slowing to tap her arm and she practically leapt out of the seat.

“Oh sorry!”

“Its…it’s okay” she slowly pulled the headphones from her ears and reluctantly looked up at me. Wow shes gorgeous. How have I not noticed her before.

“Im Archie” I could see her bite the inside of her lip before she nodded.

“And you’re yn..” i smiled at her but she just nodded again. This is difficult.

“What are you reading?” she just flashed me the cover of the book. This is like pulling teeth.

“Sooooo why aren’t you in class”

“Do you need something?” her tone was ever so slightly frosty and threw me off a little.

“Umm no… I just wanted to talk to you”

“Really? Why?

“I uhh”

“Yeah, thought so” she said bitterly stand and leaving before I could respond. What the hell?! I gave Reggie a confused look and he was practically on the floor laughing. Ugh.

I followed yn as quickly as i could, jogging to catch up by her side.

“Um okay sorry, I just wanted to talk to you calm down jesus”

“Yn”

“What?” i raised my brow at her.

“Names YN, not jesus” she smirked at me before strutting off again, i couldn’t help but smile at her. Hm so she does speak, groundbreaking.

~

For the next two weeks i was slowly breaking yn down, slowly getting her to talk to me more. By the end of the first month i had managed to convince her to have lunch with us, Reggie watching us all the time. Creep.

Even though I had coaxed her out of her self inflicted solitary confinement she still didn’t really speak to any of my friends much. I suppose she does talk to Jug every now and then, outsider solidarity maybe.

I smiled to myself at this. Yn sat next to me in the booth and the conversation ebbed and flowed around us. I glanced over at her intently listening to Kevin drone on about something or other. She looked back to me and smiled gently before returning to listening. There’s just something about her, something beneath her beauty, she smiles and I’m putty, she laughs and I don’t want to hear anything else ever again. I’m going to have to be brazen. I need to be a bit brazen.

I slowly rested my hand on her thigh, almost afraid if i touched her too quickly or too harshly she’d shatter beneath me. Instead she tensed instantly. Shit. I slid my hand off her leg again quickly, curling my fingers into a little fist. Idiot idiot idiot.

I then felt yn unfurl the little ball i had made with my hand and then proceeded to interlock her fingers through mine, not breaking eye contact with whoever was speaking. A smile grew on my face, I couldn’t stop it as much as I wanted to…who am I kidding, I didn’t want to.

“Well guys i have to go” yn said just above a whisper some time later, hand slipping out of mine, i missed it instantly.

“I’ll walk you home” i slide out of the booth, Jughead giving me a knowing look. Screw him. As the two of us walked out of the Diner, Reggie came against us. Nodding to me with the biggest smirk I’d ever seen on his stupid face. Ugh god.

The both of us walk to her house in a silence I had now become familiar with, I was now comfortable with it, it never felt awkward anymore. We arrived outside her small suburban home and stood outside the gate.

“Well, bye yn” I turned to move but her forever low volumed voice stopped me.

“Archie” I turned towards her and she caught me by my hoodie pulling me into a kiss. To say I was shocked would be putting it lightly.

She released the grip she held on my hoodie and broke from me completely

“Well see you in school tomorrow bye!” She hurriedly moved from me but it was my turn to catch her by surprise. I practically swept her back to me in a kiss. It was electric. Every nerve was buzzing, I had never had a kiss like this before. My hands were on her hips and her arms were draped around my shoulders.

And that was it. Suddenly I was in a whirlwind relationship with yn.

Over the next month and a half we slowly learning to trust each other and it was just easy. I wanted to open up to her and she wanted to to open up to me and we just worked together. I had never been so happy, in honesty. She’s taught me so much and I never want to be without her again. I have never spent this much time with someone in such a short block of time, every possible second I was with her and I loved all of it….i’ve only known her 2 and a half months and as crazy as it seems, I loved all of her. I love her.

“So the drive in closing later so you all better be there” jugged munched his burger as we sat around all nodding. This was the end of an era.

My hand rested on Yns thigh, not a care in the world as Reggie passed and nodded towards me. What is his problem, he seems to be everywhere lately.

———————————————-

Much love Xx

My Thane

For @cullenappreciationweek day 6 - AUs.

I really love Avvar!Cullen and thought it seemed like an appropriate addition to this celebration. UNFORTUNATELY, I am very unhappy with everything I turned out. These are the least terrible two, one with a long braid and one reminiscent of the ‘long-haired Cullen mod’. They’re… meh, but I do need to sleep at some point before work today.

real gods require blood (fma/noragami au, 1)

I’ve got a few ideas where this is going, hinted at in what I’ve written here, but honestly this isn’t as set in stone as my Fate AU. It’s more than likely going to be a series inter-connected fics like my Star Wars AU (I have so many AUs, oh my god), but with a theme. None of the scenes are in chronological order, but go back and forth. Kind of like how Noragami did. Seriously, that anime messed me up real good. I was not expecting that. This is mainly for @the-musical-alchemist and @scarfblogs who got me into Noragami. I know my AUs are weird.


“The Gods aren’t so much worshiped, as they are blamed.” 
Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic 


It was the smell of blood that always startled him awake.

Roy’s eyes snapped open. There were no rivers of blood around him, only rain, and so he laid on the stone floor in silence and listened. A chill hung in the air from the storm, but he made no move to pull the blanket around him tighter. Instead, he let it seep into his bones until he was shivering. Still, he didn’t move. The cold washed away the feeling of blood.

“You’re going to get sick,” a tired voice sighed from further inside the temple.

Finally, Roy moved, rolling over onto his other side to face her. “Gods don’t get sick.”

“You can get blighted.”

“Are you going to do something terrible?” Roy asked.

Riza frowned and sat down next to him, folding her legs underneath herself. “Are you going to ask me to?”

“What a terrible thing to assume of me,” Roy replied with a smile as he slowly pushed himself up. He gave her a sideways look  “What kind of god do you think I am?”

“A foolish one,” Riza grumbled under her breath. She turned away from him to look out into the rain and huddled deeper into her coat. He’d given her the heavier one. She was so small. The second she’d come out of her regalia form after he’d first named her and taken her in, he had been shocked. How could a spirit that was able to take such a fierce regalia form be so fragile-looking?

She wasn’t weak though. She was the strongest regalia he had ever had. He treasured her more than he could ever admit out loud and she had never blighted him despite all that he had asked of her. She could have and he didn’t think he would’ve blamed her. The things he’d done before, as a god of calamity… Another god, a better one with a better conscience, would’ve used a Nora.

Instead, he’d used her, burned her with blood, and she had turned into a Blessed Vessel for him.

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Friends after all - Dean Winchester x Reader - Chapter 6 (Fake boyfriend/Neighbour AU)

Title: Friends after all

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word count: 4,696

Warnings: Fluff

Summary: AU. Dean Winchester. Mechanic. Neighbour. Best friend. Single father. And fake boyfriend? You babysit his daughter. You’ve known him for years and you’ve been really close. Everything will be put to test though when your sister’s wedding approaches and he has the brilliant idea of pretending to be your boyfriend. Nobody would have ever thought of the result. Certainly not you.

An invitation to a wedding? And Dean being there as your boyfriend too? What more can happen in a whole weekend?

Read: Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5

“(Y/n)? (Y/n) are you alright? What is it?” Dean asked, worry lacing his voice.

You did not respond to him as you started ripping the envelope apart to get to the main letter. You still found it impossible to believe so you needed to see it with your own eyes to make sure. And sure as hell, once you open the envelope there it was. In your hands. Right in front of your eyes.

“(Y/n)? What’s that?” Dean asked with a deep frown, coming closer to you and trying to look at the letter in your hands.

“It’s-” you swallowed looking up at him “-an invitation. To my sister’s wedding.” you said, unable to hide your shock.

“Oh.” Dean only nodded his head “So?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

You rolled your eyes at him “My sister is getting married Dean!” you said trying to put emphasis on all of your words but Dean just seemed not to get it.

“Yeah, I very much realized that. I can’t understand what your problem is. Shouldn’t you be happy about it?” he asked simply.

“Yes, yes and I am.” you let out a sigh “I am happy about her. It was not something I didn’t expect either. They were together for really long and had been talking about it for months, it’s just… It’s just I never expected it to happen so soon.”

“Well, I really can’t see what’s so bad about that” he shrugged but you only shook your head, opening the invitation to see the beautiful letters with the date and place next to a photo of your sister and her future husband.

“Wow that’s her? Man she’s hot! Do you think she’ll be interested in having some fun before the wedding or- ow!” Dean started saying as he looked at the photo only to stop and exclaim, rubbing his shoulder as you had hit him rather hard.

“What was that for?” he asked, looking at you now.

“That’s my sister.” you hissed, glaring up at him and trying not show the jealousy that was rising up inside you “And she’s getting married. So shut it.” you ended up growling and looked down at the invitation.

“Oh fuck” you breathed out in a whisper as soon as your eyes scanned the date.

“What?” Dean asked worried again.

“It- It’s taking place this Sunday” you breathed out in horror.

Keep reading

Watch and Learn (Hank McCoy x Reader)

Lunch may get interrupted but there’s another kinda appetite Hank McCoy just can’t ignore…

Word Count: 2697

“Honestly, Hank, this place is amazing.” It was my first time visiting Hank at school and everything about it was so fascinating. We had a lunch date and before we ate he gave me a small tour of the place, not even covering half the campus.

“What’s your favorite part?”

I chewed on a grape from the fruit salad I made and thought of an answer. “Hmm, definitely the garden.”

Hank nodded. “The garden’s nice. A few of the kids here have abilities that manifest in nature; going out there to practice helps them a lot.”

“And let me guess what your favorite place is around here,” I said smirking at him. When I arrived he was neck deep in beakers and flasks in the lab, and by the looks of it he’d been there for some time.

“The lab is just…” He shrugged. “It’s what I do best. It all comes so naturally, everything in there. It’s like humming a tune, only I’m in a rubber suit and mixing terrible smelling corrosive chemicals.”

“Yeah, well good thing you wear the suit,” I said, leaning forward and taking a sniff at his crisp, button up shirt. “I like the way you smell, don’t want you tampering with it.”

He smiled nervously and looked down at his serving of fruit salad, his face showing the slightest signs of pink. “I like the way you smell too, Y/N.”

I grinned and nudged at him playfully. “Is that your feral side comin’ out to play?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “That’s just… me making an observation.”

I grabbed a fork and picked up a piece of strawberry from his plate and fed it to him. “And what else have you observed?” He chuckled and blushed again before grabbing the piece of fruit between his teeth when someone barged into the classroom. Quickly he swallowed the fruit and stood, looking to the door at the student coming in.

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Hair rant! (warning language)

My curls were on fucking point today, they didn’t look clumpy or frizzy and we’re actually evenly separated… I loved ‘em! But then is crazy drugged out bitch had to go and rake her hands through my hair! LIKE WHAT THE GOD DAMNED RAINBOWY FUCK??!

Like even if you do have the audacity to grab someone else’s hair without asking… you don’t ever run fingers through curls! It’s not the damn same as straight hair! And she had to just rake her fingers through my top layer of curls too, so now I look like a yeti till I can get to a bathroom and throw some damn water on my hair so thanks for that you skeezy twat waffle!

It was so pretty too… 😢

anonymous asked:

"If you’re gonna go out the way to be so damn whiny and obvious, @ the person." I'm like they're definitely talking about streetsims, right? Why not @ at that point. Mad that his/her Stolen hairs were "stolen" for him.😂

His hairs weren’t even uploaded from what I saw. Unless they went up right before the pirate got deleted. 

He was definitely talking bout streetxsims and that was on some personal BS. He had no place in that nigga’s salty ass rant (exuse my vernacular today). We all get mad or frustrated when we see someone copying our editing style or sim style. Complex is mad over some damn hairs he converted from someone else’s work. Not the same damn thing. But I guess if you’re gonna be a hypocrite in one thing, you’re gonna be a hypocrite in all things, right?

Originally posted by abigayle12000

I Thought You Were Different: Book 2 (Part 12/?)  (Stark x reader)

This is flying by, you guys.  We’re already at freaking Part 12.

Part 11

“I can’t do this, guys,” Tony wavered, standing outside of your hospital room and staring through the door window, “she probably doesn’t even want to see me, right?  Right. I’m sure she’s still really pissed. I should go.”  He spun on his heel to make a run for it, but turned only to land within Bucky’s authoritative grasp.

“Get your ass in there, Stark.  We didn’t risk this much just for you to be a pussy about it.”

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New Boy (Calum hood)

“Loser”
The girl mocked me after tripping me down the stairs….in front of the whole school. I picked my AP chemistry textbook up as everyone around me continued on with their laughing. Cool girls, they always think that they run the school and can do whatever they please with he rest of us.

Oh, I’m Y/n by the way. Don’t feel sorry for me, it happens a lot more then you think. High school can be a dangerous place for the people who aren’t preppy cheerleaders, super geniuses, or bonehead jocks who thinks a girl isn’t hot unless they’ve seen her naked. But hey, what do I know? let’s get back to the story….

As I walked into my Chemistry class, you could still hear the giggles and see the smirks from the people who just witnessed my tragic accident. “Students settle down now!” Mrs. Mulberry screamed while slamming her metal ruler down on her table. “I will NOT tolerate any form of bullying in my class! Don’t make me get the principle down here!” Well at least I have one person on my side. “Why does she always slam her ruler down like that? For all I care, She can take that thing and shove it up her a-”

This is my best friend, Penelope. But everyone calls her penny.

“Penny!”
“What?”
We both laugh but Mrs. Mulberry isn’t amused. “I’ll just wait for y/n and penny to finish up their conversation since it’s more important that what we’re learning today. Maybe that’s why you tripped down the stairs y/n, cause you can’t seem to pay attention.” A chorus of ooo’s and laughters spreads throughout the class. So much for having someone on my side. As she turned around to continue teaching, some boy walked into the class room. He was tall with dark hair and had the most perfect jawline I’ve ever seen in all my years of living. This has got to be a new kid cause there is no way I could have never seen this boy around school. “Penny, who is that?” As she looked up from her textbook, her eyes could have popped out of her skull. “Damn. I have no idea but I sure wouldn’t mind getting to know him.” “Students, we have a new student joining us today! he’s traveled all the way from Australia! What’s your name again young man?”

“Calum”

And from this point on, my entire life changed…


nah just kidding. But this guy seriously was hot as hell.

As he walked to the back of the class to find a lab table to sit at, he had every girl drooling over him. “Y/n he’s gonna sit next to us!!” “Yeah right penny, out of all the people he could sit next to in our class why would he sit-” before I could even finish my sentence he was already sitting down in the vacant spot next to me. I kept my head facing penny, afraid to turn it forward in case he was looking at me. “Y/n say something to him!” “Shut up he can probably hear you!” I said. I could feel my cheeks getting hotter by the second.

Why would he want to talk to me? I just fell down the stairs for crying out loud! And besides, he looks way to cool to be in my league. “Y/n, just say hi…it’s not that big of a deal”. She was right of course. After all, it would be nice to have someone who doesn’t think I’m a complete loser. I turned around and he was a thousand times hotter up close. His big brown eyes were already looking into my soul like he knew every single detail about my life. It made me even more nervous. “Hey I’m y/n”. before he spoke he plastered a little smirk on his face while staring me up and down. Usually I wouldn’t be this nervous in front of someone but there was something about Calum that made me feel..I don’t know, different….I think it’s the jawline. “I saw you fall down the stairs and it looked pretty bad…you okay?” Great. He saw he saw me fall. My life is officially over from this point on. “Yeah I’m fine” I tried smiling away the embarrassment that was pouring out of me. He smiled and somehow it made me forget that I was even embarrassed. “You listen to good charlotte?” “What?” He motioned to my shirt that penny had gotten me for my birthday. “Of course, if I didn’t then I’d be one of those dolled up barbies sitting over there.” I pointed to the group of girls eyeing Calum from across the room. He laughed “you know what y/n? You’re pretty funny.” “Ive been trying to tell people-” “Y/N! One more outbreak in my class and I’ll give you detention!”

55 minutes later the bell rung. As I was putting my stuff back into my book bag. Calum spoke to me again,

“hey y/n?”
“Yeah?”
“Maybe I’ll see you around?”
“Well we do have the same class together”

Nice one y/n, now he’s probably gonna think you’re a smartass.

He chuckled, “yeah. See you tomorrow then.” and with that he walked out of the classroom.

This is gonna be one hell of a school year.

Showers:

The series is as follows :

Mama Scully’s Party …. MorningUnderwearsMapsNachosFoul BallPromisesStayPhone CallsFlannel InterruptionAwakeningFriendly CompromisesScrabbleApart …  A Long WeekLightningMissing YouInterimStuffWaitingGoingHandsUnsteadyFearFastSlowRegardlessInto the DarkLightSurfboardsCurbsShowersBordersCanyonsSoakedIce CreamNever HappenedDeep SouthAlmostBlue-Suede ShoesUnwelcomeRemarkableStarsDoorbellsM&MsKneesHome

___________

He did his best not to complain but by the next morning, his leg was throbbing. Trying to keep his mouth shut, he couldn’t help wincing when Scully bumped into the mattress. She turned in time to see him go white, “oh, God, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

Through clenched teeth, “it’s fine.”

Coming to crouch beside him, careful not to touch the bed, “do you need more pain meds yet?”

“Nope. Just a good shot of whiskey and a bat to the face.” Shifted as well as he could, he nodded, “okay, maybe more drugs would be good.”

“I don’t think we can put you in a car right now. I don’t think we could even get you to the elevator.”

“Well, then, you will open the balcony doors and make sure you do your surfing right in front of the hotel so I can watch you from my comfortable and very large king size bed.”

“What if you have to go to the bathroom?”

“I will fire from here and pray I can make it around corners.”

Bursting into laughter, “how about I just stay up here today? Maybe we can get you out on the balcony, I can go pick up breakfast and some tacos for lunch we can eat later. I’ve got cards in my bag so we can practice our cheating or we can try to learn some Spanish watching TV.”

“I hate pity, Scully, you know that.”

“And I’m going to hate to have to clean pee off the wall. I am relaxing in my room today and you just happen to be here, too, so suck it up, buttercup. Now, what do you want on your pancakes?”

&&&&&&&&&&

It took until about 2pm for Scully to sit back in her chair, warm breeze ruffling her hair, to realize and point out to Mulder, “this is the first day we haven’t done anything. I mean, we’ve had to sit while driving but I mean, we are actually just doing absolutely not a damn thing right now.”

“Kinda nice, isn’t it?”

She looked sideways at him, his leg propped on his three pillows on the third chair, his hair stiff, his face semi-crusty from the salt still on his skin, his finally relaxed smile, the half-Vicodin taking care of the pain without making him completely floppy. “It really is. Maybe that’s what they meant by vacation and we’re just figuring it out now.”

“So, the first three weeks were just practice.”

Scully dropped her head back, “has it really been three weeks already.”

“Yeah.”

“I wonder when I’m going to run out of money.”

“I’ll cover you if you need to.”

“We should probably stick to cheaper rooms on the way home.”

Picking up two cards and winning the game, “since I have bought nothing of note for myself in seven years, I have enough money to keep us in a comfortable bed for a little while longer.”

Reshuffling, she smirked, “am I slowly becoming a kept woman?”

“You buy the food, we call it even.”

Sooner than later, Mulder began dozing in his chair and Scully roused him, helping him move to the bed, pain killers administered and leg propped. In his twilight daze, “you take care of me.”

“And you take care of me. That’s how this works.”

“I don’t recall reading that memo.”

“It wasn’t a memo. I left it in note form on your fridge.” Lightly scratching her fingernails through his gritty hair, “when you wake up, I’m going to help you with a shower, all right? I can feel the sand caked on your scalp.”

Eyes blinking once up at her before shutting for his nap, “you want to give me a bath?”

Wondering if she should really be enjoying that thought as much as she was, considering, “something like that.”

&&&&&&&&&&

It wasn’t so much a shower that Mulder got that evening as an awkward, ‘Scully sitting on the toilet holding his cast out of the water while he semi-bathed himself and tried not to drown in the process’ cleaning. After his third accidental slide and dunk, he spluttered to the surface, “there has got to be a cast out there that I could take off, just to shower. This is ridiculous.”

“There are, Mulder, you just can’t use one right now. In a few weeks, you might be able to switch to one but right now, the bones need time to set and start to heal. While that happens, you can’t be taking it on and off and moving.”

Soap in his eyes, he squinted up at her, “I’d be sitting still in a bathtub for Christ’s sake. How much damage could I do?”

Keeping her eyes dutifully shut, she couldn’t help but smile, “you are Fox William Mulder and that is not a question you should ever say out loud.”

Suddenly, she heard him snort, “oh, the stories we’re going to have, Scully.”

“Can we skip telling my mother certain ones, please?”

“We’ll see.”

They got him out of the tub without breaking anything else, Scully, eyes averted but open so they didn’t both end up on the floor. “I swear to God, Mulder, next time, we’re getting a room with a shower attachment and you’re gonna hose off while sitting on a chair.”

&&&&&&&&&&&

At the end of the day, the pair of them lay quietly in their bed, balcony open to the ocean breeze, covers thrown to the bottom of the bed, room soft in its darkness, “you awake?”

“Depends.”

Mulder smiled at her indecisive overtone, “well, if I say I’m sorry for breaking myself but thank you for taking care of me, would you be awake?”

“Probably.”

“What if I said that I’ve had the best vacation, minus the terrible parts, of my entire life with you?”

Turning away from him and settling on her side, “Pretty sure I’d be awake for that.”

“What if I told you that I can’t imagine having anyone else here with me?”

This brought her scooting back so she was pressed against his side, “What if I said back that not only am I awake but that I’m blushing profusely and am enjoying all the compliments?”

“I’d say that you are my best friend and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

As she fumbled behind her for his hand, which he gladly flopped over her hip, “Oh, brother.”

“Oh, brother! I am pouring my half-Vicodined heart out to you in the middle of a foreign country with a broken leg and all you respond with is ‘oh, brother’?”

“You’re hungry, aren’t you?”

“Completely. Feels like my insides are trying to eat the rest of my insides.”

“I’ll go raid the vending machine. Maybe they’ve refilled the Cheetos section.”

Giving her hip a squeeze, then a roll, “you are a Goddess, Agent Scully.”

“Who said I was bringing anything for you, Agent Mulder.”

After the vending machine raid, Scully dropped several fruit bars, Cheezits and some decidedly strange bags of spicy pretzels on his lap, “will that hold you until breakfast or do you need me to go raid the streets for leftover corn salsa and burritos?”

Pulling open one of the pretzel bags, he held it out to her, “don’t make like you’re not hungry, too. I know that look.”

“I have a look?”

“Oh, dear partner, you have a thousand and one looks and I know them all and that one you’re wearing right now is telling me you are on the verge of hangry and haven’t realized it yet.”

Taking a spicy pretzel and instantly setting her mouth on fire, she scrambled for water, “holy God! These things should come with a warning!”

Mulder watched her gulp down half her bottle before, “well, here’s the thing, Scully, that’s what the word ‘spicy’ denotes, along with the flames making up the name of the food,” holding to package out to her and pointing at the colorful fire-shaped words, “see, ‘Hot and Spicy’, right there. See?”

As she pulled out another one of her many looks, Mulder grinned and popped a pretzel in his mouth, “that look right there is the one telling me I have approximately 3.7 seconds to apologize or you’re going to stuff this whole bag into my mouth and take away my drink.”

Scully glared, then lay down, “g’night, Mulder and you’re welcome for the snacks.”

Now he just laughed, his hand back on her hip, “thank you.”

3

Ok, so I’ve decided that it’s about damn time I put something like this up. I have talked a lot about being body positive for a while now, on top of posting some lovely soft-core pics of guys that I view attractive . For the longest time I have hated what I looked like and nitpicked at pretty much every little detail about myself. I hated my moobs or my skin or my hair or even my damn love handles. And when my depression hits its hardest (which seems to happen every other week now) I can’t even look myself in the mirror let alone let my boyfriend touch me.

I want to beat all those thoughts. I want to beat all the shit that stops me from loving myself and others. I want to be able to look at myself and say “God damn it! I’m fucking hot”! Where I am in my mental health today is at a very high emotional point, so I want to do something brave.

I promise a few things. I promise that I will not take this down when I am at a very low point and hate how I look. I promise to do everything I can when I am at a high point to make the low point not hurt as much. And I promise to love how I look, which is nowhere near as bad as my depressed mind makes me believe.

I. Love. Myself. I am not at an unhealthy weight. I have much better skin than I used to. My hair is wonderful and easy to manipulate to be diverse. And I might have a body with weird curves (thus the last picture), but I am happy with it.