damn it darcy

We Can Never Go Back To Before

(I am sad and write of sad things.  Everyone will be all right in the end, I’m sure, but, Harris, you can’t run from your past forever.)

“Let’s eat peanut butter cups for dinner.”

Harris shifted the bag of groceries in his arms. “Was that your plan all along?”

Darcy nodded. “Yes.”

“Then why did we go grocery shopping?”

“I was luring you into a false sense of security, nutritionally speaking.” She did a little spin, enjoying the way her skirt flared around her knees. The bags in her hands bumped against her legs as she stopped, facing him. “It was my devious plan.”

He grinned at her, his cheeks pink from the spring breeze. “With chicken breasts and frozen vegetables?”

“You didn’t suspect a thing,” Darcy pointed out. She threw her hands in the air. Harris ducked under her bags without missing a step. “My plan was a success!”

“We’re not eating peanut butter cups for dinner,” Harris said. But he was smiling when he said it.

“Maybe you’re not, but you’re not the boss of me, soooooooo…” She tipped her head in his direction. “Make me a better offer.”

“I don’t know,” he mused. “I mean, we could try eating real food and not spending the rest of the night curled up in the fetal position, praying for death as the sugar rush wears off.”

He had a pronounced cowlick right now. It was adorable. Darcy shifted both of her bags to one hand and reached out with the other. “You make it sound like a bad plan.”

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uru-viel  asked:

Love Me: Crack ship of your choosing

So you gave me free reign to choose a crack ship and, like I usually do, you gonna get Darcy-su-namun/Imhotep. Enjoy, Noemi.

Darcy is helping catalog the latest data Jane was able to compile after an outing to Yukon territory (Darcy surprisingly enjoyed herself until the Moose* showed up) when Imhotep finds her. Well, not so much as find her as randomly wander into the labs. With intent to see her. Because he’s some mix between a giant cat (Darcy thought of a leopard, maybe a jaguar) and an eager puppy.

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Revenge - Doctor Strange x Reader (Halloween)

Title: Revenge

Pairing: Doctor Strange x Reader

Characters: A hell of a lot if I’m honest… Avengers both old and new along with Bucky, Pepper, Darcy, Jane, Laura (Clint’s children were staying at their Nan’s), Wong, Sharon, Fury, Coulson and Maria. And of course the wonderful Doctor Strange and the beautiful, awesome Reader!

Request: Could you do a doctor strange x reader where Tony throws a Halloween party and the reader goes as dressed as a ‘sexy/cute’ girl Strange for a laugh and he loves it? You decide the type of ending… by @littlemisscaptainfandom (No worries it was late for Halloween, I saw it as super early for next year.)

Summary: When you’d decided to dress as a female Doctor Strange you’d never expected it to turn out quite like this… Nor had you expected the Doctor to rest quite in this way…

Word Count: 2130

Warnings: Jumping off of a roof for revenge does not always go as planned and is NOT SAFE so DO NOT JUMP OFF OF BUILDINGS!

When using portals please be careful not to be distracted by ridiculously hot men with amazing facial hair and magic.

The ending hints at smut but isn’t quite smut. A part two could be done for full smutty goodness to happen…

Originally posted by fondu-with-downey

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Darcy/Steve, Coffee shop AU (ii)

for @littleplebe

14. Coffee shop AU

He was always drawing. Darcy thought about asking him about it, but always decided against it. Steve was a private person, so she tried to respect that.  He ordered a black coffee and drank it lukewarm. Sat with his back propped against the wall and his other leg in the stool beside him. The other regulars knew that was Steve’s spot.  

He’d drag his charcoal across the paper with swift broad strokes, sometimes short ones, sometimes they were everything in between, busy capturing little moments that were between him and that paper.

Today, he kept glancing at her while she cleaned down the espresso machine.  Glancing enough that Darcy couldn’t help saying something about it.

“Do I have something in my teeth?”  

Steve smirked, still looking between her and the paper.  “Just a second…”  He smudged it with his thumb before holding it back away from him.  “There.”  He turned the pad around to show her.  

It was…her.  She supposed.  She never thought her eyes were that bright, or that her cheeks were that rosy.  How on earth he could get them rosy-looking using only charcoal was beyond her. But he did.  

“Whoa…” she put down the rag and walked closer.  “You…is that me?”  

“Well…yeah…” he grinned.  “Do you like it?”  

Darcy smiled.  “It’s pretty damn awesome, dude.”  

“Well.  I had a pretty damn awesome subject, so…”

Happy Birthday, meilan-firaga!

March 22 - Tongue-tied, Darcy Lewis/Stephen Strange for @meilan-firaga

“This one?” Darcy put a book down on the table in front of Strange. He definitely lived up to the name, she thought. An odd sort indeed, even if he was sexy as all get-out. She’d had more than a few dreams about that facial hair of his since Jane loaned her out to help Strange with his research.

“That’s the one.” He flipped it open, started rapidly scanning the pages written in a language she couldn’t read - she thought it might be Sanskrit. As usual he completely forgot her existence when he was deep in the books, so she quietly started picking up the ones he’d already discarded and putting them back on her cart to re-shelve. Thank goodness she’d taken those library science classes, even if Wong had a completely different way of shelving things than the Dewey classification.

“That’s it!” Strange startled her by jumping to his feet. “This is the enchantment I’ve been searching for! I know what to do now.”

“Let’s go!” Darcy said enthusiastically. She’d been ready for DAYS. The Avengers were out there fighting for time, along with every other hero Earth had managed to dredge up, and she’d been trapped in this library quite long enough sneezing over dusty old books.

“Not you. You’re not coming.”

“Oh, yes I am!” There was no way he was leaving her behind. No. Freaking. Way. Darcy’s eyes narrowed. She would use every tactic at her disposal to get her way. Even the really dirty ones.

Stephen drew himself up, narrowing his annoyingly deep blue eyes at her and gazing down over the nearly-a-foot distance in their heights. “Do you know who I am, girl?”

“An arrogant asshat with the common sense of a gnat?”

Stephen’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times with sheer shock, but he was damned fast, Darcy had to give him that. He recovered quickly and raised his finger to waggle it at her. She deliberately folded his arms under her breasts and watched his eyes drop.

“I am the Sorcewer Supweme!” Stephen would forever afterwards swear that Darcy had used some sort of enchantment to make the words mangle in his mouth. She would just smile and agree that her boobs were magical all by themselves.

Darcy’s eyes lit up.

Sorcerer Supreme,” he repeated the words slowly and carefully.

Darcy opened her mouth.

“Mawwiage!” she declaimed. “Mawwiage is what bwings us togethaw today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wuvv, twue wuvv…”

“If I say you can come with me, please will you stop quoting The Princess Bride?” Stephen said desperately.

Darcy smiled and tucked her hand into his arm. “I knew you’d come to see things my way. Let’s go save the world. Wuvv.”

AU // Darcy Lewis as a Demi-Goddess as suggested by @typhoidmeri

– I made a short ficlet to go with the fan art –

It was their first time in Asgard.

Well, not really. It was Jane’s second? Third? Seventh? In Asgard. It was her first. Darcy has been invited the previous times they had to cross the rainbow bridge, but she refused. Her mother would kill her.

“Those Asgardians with their stupid tree of life and their posh golden castles. They think they’re so much better than us Olympians. They’re obviously wrong, Darcy, so don’t listen to a word they say,” her uncle’s siblings used to say. (Zeus. It was mostly Zeus. And Hera. And Ares.)

Who was her uncle? No one other than Hades. Who was her mother? The goddess Nyx. Which was kind of ironic since Darcy herself didn’t really personify night skies and darkness. Although ending up working for (with!!!) Jane made sense when she thought about it. She didn’t tell her friend though, when she chose to help clear the skies when they went out star hunting.

“You’ll love it Darce! Everything’s so golden, and they have the perfect view of the sky. And there are so many things to learn! Their healers know advanced medical techniques!”

Darcy listened to Jane, all the time pretending she heard this for the first time. (She already heard it from uncle Zeus. “They think their technology is better than ours simply because it’s fancier! Heathens!!! Their healers can’t even-“)

“Darcy! Are you even listening?”

“Yes Jane. Rainbow bridge. Awesome doctors and nurses. Golden gates.”


“What? My expertise is negotiating between countries. Not which doctors can cure the flue faster.”

“Just don’t be a drag? Odin has went from hating me to tolerating me, and I can’t have you-“

“Jeopradize your relationship with Thor. Goddit boss lady.”

Thor called for Heimdall and in a flash they were transported. Darcy’s eyes hurt the moment they landed. Odin must be overcompensating for something.

“Welcome, Lady Jane and Lady Darcy. If you feel queasy, that is normal.”

“Nah, I’m fine golden eyes,” she stated to who she assumed was Heimdall, standing straight with his golden regalia. He raised an eyebrow, and she mentally slapped herself. This guy already knew her secret, didn’t he?

“Your rooms await you,” he replies, simply smiling rather mysteriously Darcy’s way.

One of the maids (slaves? Long line of servants families? She didn’t know how the service industry works in Asgard, okay?) led her to her room, which was so much bigger than her dingy apartment back on Earth

“A dress has been chosen for you, milady. Please wear it to the ball,” the maid said. Jane walked by and whispered rather loudly, “Please wear it Darcy. The dinner’s formal and it’s polite to wear it so don’t wear one of your strappy dresses for bar hopping.”

Darcy faked a gasp. “I would never!” she said before laughing and entering her room.

She looked at her dress. Wearing Asgardian clothes as a daughter of an Olympian (well…technically Chthonic) deity? Even Hades, as patient as he is, would get angry. Something about wearing the clothes of the enemy team. Thank goodness she brought one of the dresses her aunt made for her. Persephone did always have good taste. It was polite enough for a formal dinner party, without looking to Midgardian, but still not Grecian enough to make people notice that she was a half. “Aunt Seph, you’re the best!”

Darcy cleaned and prepped herself, wondering what kind of people were invited to the king’s feast. Asgardians probably ate a lot. At least, if most of them ate like Thor they would.  She donned on her dress. It was a pretty lilac-ish, lavender-ish (Persephone’s words, not hers!) colour that was soft enough to obscure her familial ties. She wasn’t bold enough to wear her mother’s colours to an Asgardian feast.

Darcy stepped out of her room and promptly crashed into another body. Another rather hard, leather-bound body.

“I didn’t know we invited the Olympian pantheon to an Asgardian feast,” the sarcastic voice drawled. Drawled. It made her skin crawl. And not in a bad way. She wished it was in a bad way.

“You didn’t. I’m Midgardian. Fling me off a roof and I die Midgardian???” she replied, trying to conceal her panic and her lie. He really was as smart as the stories told.

“We can test that theory of yours.”

“Be ready to be beaten to a pulp by Bruce again if you try to do that Loki,” she said right back, boldly looking up at him (quite up, he was a tall man).

His reply was an amused smirk.

“Well, milady?” he finally said after a long rather tense silence. She took his offered arm and they went together to the ballroom where the feast was held. Darcy was floored. Everything was gold. Chairs, pillars, the goddamn ceiling. Everything. It didn’t compare to Tartarus, obviously, because the dark glinting walls and silver lights that made up her second home grew on her. Asgard was just so 180 she kind of went into shock.

Her eyes scanned the entire room. Her hand went up to cover her open mouth. It was gorgeous. Jane totally didn’t exaggerate.

“Shocked? I assume there is nothing like this on Midgard,” Loki said, a smirk on his face from what she could see from the corner of her eye.

“Cathedrals, my man, cathedrals are totally like this. And castles. Palaces? Yeah those.”

“Midgardian palaces?” he inquired, his smirk growing, as if he know something he shouldn’t, and would use it against her.

Darcy starts to get cold sweat in fear of her secret getting spilled.

You’re a god damn demi-goddess, Darcy Lewis! Get over yourself! You can get through an Asgardian meet n greet!

But before she could tell Loki to shut his trap, fanfares started and they were ushered in.

First Thoughts On Seeing Each Other

Wade: Dayum! She’s sexy as fuck! (Wade)
Jesus! Look at him! Look at that booty! (You)

Vanessa: God look at those tit’s! I’d love too…Wow her face is cute (Vanessa)
She’s cute. I want her. Now. (You)

Weasel: There’s the sexy ass girl with the fat ass (Weasel)
Cutie with the glasses is looking at me again (You)

Francis: I can’t hurt he she’s to beautiful. Look at her (Francis)
I swsr when I get out of here I’m going to fucking kill this bald bastard! (You)

Angel: Jesus Christ she’s strong! (You)
Little bitch stabbed me! I’m going to kill her! (Angel)

Piotr: She is so beautiful. I must speak to her (Piotr)
Damn! He’s like 9 fucking feet tall! Fuck I hope he doesn’t try to kill me (You)

Ellie: Sexy lady! (Ellie)
Hello there cutie (You)
I’d love to get that cat (Her)

Peter: Wow! She’s so pretty (Him)
Oh god! Cutie alert! (You)

Gwen: Hope she isn’t dumb like those other blondes I just saw (You)
Oh no she just gave me that look (Gwen)
Dude she’s so smart! Yes! (You)
She smiled at me! Ohhh my gosh! (Gwen)

Tony: Look at those legs! (Tony)
Wow Tony Stark is even hotter in person (You)

Bruce: Oh my gosh! It’s Bruce Banner! (You)
Oh! It’s Dr. Y/N L/N! She’s so pretty (Bruce)

Steve: The waitress Y/N is very beautiful. Like Peggy was (Steve)
Whoa Captain America is sex as hell especially up close! (You)

Natasha: Is that a goddess? (Tasha)
Dayum she rockin’ that catsuit (You)

Pietro: What the fuck was that? (You)
Scaced the hell outta her (Pietro)
Got you mothetfucker! (You)
Ow! Damn she’s strong! How’d she catch me! (Pietro)

Wanda: Oh my fuckin! She’s a mutant! (You)
Oh no she’s afraid of me now! (Wanda)
That’s kind of cook though (You)

Rhodey: It’s Iron Man! (You)
Of course she thinks I’m Iron Man. They always do (Him)
Wait that’s not Iron Man! But he is cute though (You)

Darcy: Damn! Those jugs are big enoih to feed me for a couple of days! (You)
Does she know she said that out loud right? (Her)
I’m definitely going to talk to her (You)

Pepper: Oh my gosh! It’s Pepper Potts! (You)
Oh god not another crazy ass Pepper Potts basher (Her)
Why’d she roll her eyes? Aw man! She doesn’t even wanna speak to me! (You)

Matt: Wow her voice is simply amazing (Him)
Can he see me? (You)
Great now she doesn’t even gonna talk to me because I’m blind (Him)
Ehhh. Fuck it! Might blind but he’s cute as hell! (You)

Sam: That’s a big ass bird! Oh hell! It’s coming towards me! Ahhh! (You)
Shit! Fuck I’m about to hit her (Him)

Scott: What the fuck?! Where the hell are all those fucking ants coming from?! (You)
These guys are going eat her alive! Guys! (Him)
What the shit?! Is that a man?! (You)

T’Challa: He/She is….beautiful. Go talk to y/gender T’Challa! Don’t be a coward! Your a warrior. A King. Oh fuck y/gender is coming over here! Be calm! (Him)

He is gorgeous. I want him. He will be mine. Wait why is he sweating? Is he nervous? (You) 

good enough

@dixiedolittle asked: So, I feel like a prompt pig, but here’s another, please. Darcy. Insecurity. Thank you!

I… well, I tried to play out Darcy’s insecurity about her own self-worth across her interactions with the other Avengers. It got way out of hand, but I wanted something special in honor of the holidays, so… anyways, it’s a bit late for Christmas, but I hope you like it regardless!

Darcy’s crush on Steve is completely unreasonable, given how he basically ignores her existence. Natasha takes it upon herself to intervene, taking advantage of Christmas being right around the corner.  

Or, it takes twelve people to ship it, and one more to make it happen.

1. Natasha

When Natasha first brought it up, Darcy laughed to hide the stab of insecurity that ran through her gut. 

“I barely know the guy, Nat,” she said, ducking her head to hide her blush – there was no doubt the assassin knew about her not-so-secret crush on Steve Rogers. “He’s nice, from what I know, but I don’t think we really mesh.”

She thought back to how he’d never meet her eyes, how he made a point to leave a room if she entered it, how he stood as far away from her as he could. She ignored how much it hurt to remember those things.

“Oh?” Natasha fixed her with a blank stare and a single, arched eyebrow. “You’re going to be the only ones here for Christmas. You never know.”

“I’m serious.” Darcy smiled, but it felt like Natasha could see right though her. “Happy single lady, right here.” 

Natasha hummed, dropping the subject, but Darcy had the sinking feeling that this was going to become a regular occurrence.

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chaoticandproud  asked:

I love both 05 and 95 very very much, but I must go with 1995. I am a huge book nerd and everytime I see a move adaptation of a book that changes something major it makes me really mad. And even tho 05 version didn't really change anything that much, it makes me appreciate and adore the 95 version so much. It's just perfect. Plus I always kinda had a thing for Colin and DAMN Darcy Colin is just aasfntjxhthrjej

I agree, if you don’t like details being cut, 2005 might bother you from time to time. But that’s what happens in a whole lot of adaptations and I’d say 2005 is a pretty true to the source adaptation

Hogwarts had an odd energy too it now that they had returned, Darcy didn’t care for it. His attentions were apparently better spent elsewhere and that did not mean he intended to do the required revision that afternoon. N.E.W.T.s be damned. Darcy flicked with lazy indolence through the latest Daily Prophet, his dinner left untouched although his free hand was tightly gripped around a flagon of coffee. If Darcy had a weakness it was house elf made coffee, freshly ground, black. There was no hint of a smile threatening to quirk his lips upwards as he flattened the newspaper with a soft murmur and a flick of his wand, incidentally moving the opposite student’s dinner ever so slightly to the right. If anything, Darcy’s lips were tightly bound together. Brows knitted down into a trademark Oldridge scowl.

❝Whimper all you like, I’m not moving.❞ He didn’t even glance up to them, his voice dark as he followed the story of Fitzpatrick. Darcy wasn’t even sure he cared, but there was a part of him whether he’d like to admit it or not, that was curious. Supernatural creatures, or as his father liked to call them, wretched wolves—- they have no rights… The muscles in his lips tremored and in the same breath, he sighed, scarcely audible. ❝Truly I meant it.❞ This time, Darcy lifted the tip of his wand, all still without glancing up from the newspaper spread out across the width of the table. ❝You are free to move elsewhere.❞

New Fic: Wintersong

@glynnisi, here is your birthday fic!  Or at least the first part of it.  I’m envisioning a second part, but as I wanted to have something ready for you on your actual birthday, part one comes now and part two will come after I write it.

So, glynnisi asked for Steve/Darcy and bed sharing, and given the winter weather that’s been happening around the country right now, bringing in a snowstorm was inevitable.  And yes, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that NYC could get enough snow to actually shut down the trains subways - it happened last January, right around this time as well.

Anyway, on to the fic.  Happy birthday hon, and I hope you enjoy it!

Originally posted by kalliope-amorphous


“Do I want to know?”

“No, no you really don’t.”  Steve stands up, stretching slightly to work the kinks out of his back that happen even to a supersoldier when he’s been sitting down for too long.  “And technically, I’m not under arrest,” he says as the uniformed officer escorting Darcy unlocks the cell he’s currently being held in.

“He really isn’t,” the officer adds as Steve walks into the hall.  “It’s just that this is the easiest way to keep a low profile, something the Captain specifically requested.”

Darcy just rolls her eyes.  “I’ll get the whole story out of you eventually.”

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