damn it darcy

  • Lizzie: I have a date.
  • Darcy: Who is it? What's his name?
  • Lizzie: His name is not important. What's important is- he's better than you in every conceivable way.
  • Darcy: Damn, Lizzie, that could be anybody!
The story of every one of my ships EVER

Me: I like this and this character but I don’t want to ship them

Also me: *sees those characters as ship in fanarts, reads fanfics bc they’re well written, starts noticing how much this and this character are made for each other*

Also also me: Fuck, I ship them so hard

We Can Never Go Back To Before

(I am sad and write of sad things.  Everyone will be all right in the end, I’m sure, but, Harris, you can’t run from your past forever.)

“Let’s eat peanut butter cups for dinner.”

Harris shifted the bag of groceries in his arms. “Was that your plan all along?”

Darcy nodded. “Yes.”

“Then why did we go grocery shopping?”

“I was luring you into a false sense of security, nutritionally speaking.” She did a little spin, enjoying the way her skirt flared around her knees. The bags in her hands bumped against her legs as she stopped, facing him. “It was my devious plan.”

He grinned at her, his cheeks pink from the spring breeze. “With chicken breasts and frozen vegetables?”

“You didn’t suspect a thing,” Darcy pointed out. She threw her hands in the air. Harris ducked under her bags without missing a step. “My plan was a success!”

“We’re not eating peanut butter cups for dinner,” Harris said. But he was smiling when he said it.

“Maybe you’re not, but you’re not the boss of me, soooooooo…” She tipped her head in his direction. “Make me a better offer.”

“I don’t know,” he mused. “I mean, we could try eating real food and not spending the rest of the night curled up in the fetal position, praying for death as the sugar rush wears off.”

He had a pronounced cowlick right now. It was adorable. Darcy shifted both of her bags to one hand and reached out with the other. “You make it sound like a bad plan.”

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“Falling in love doesn’t happen on paper. Sometimes you love a person because of all the reasons they’re not like you. And sometimes you love a person just because they feel like home.”

Revenge - Doctor Strange x Reader (Halloween)

Title: Revenge

Pairing: Doctor Strange x Reader

Characters: A hell of a lot if I’m honest… Avengers both old and new along with Bucky, Pepper, Darcy, Jane, Laura (Clint’s children were staying at their Nan’s), Wong, Sharon, Fury, Coulson and Maria. And of course the wonderful Doctor Strange and the beautiful, awesome Reader!

Request: Could you do a doctor strange x reader where Tony throws a Halloween party and the reader goes as dressed as a ‘sexy/cute’ girl Strange for a laugh and he loves it? You decide the type of ending… by @littlemisscaptainfandom (No worries it was late for Halloween, I saw it as super early for next year.)

Summary: When you’d decided to dress as a female Doctor Strange you’d never expected it to turn out quite like this… Nor had you expected the Doctor to rest quite in this way…

Word Count: 2130

Warnings: Jumping off of a roof for revenge does not always go as planned and is NOT SAFE so DO NOT JUMP OFF OF BUILDINGS!

When using portals please be careful not to be distracted by ridiculously hot men with amazing facial hair and magic.

The ending hints at smut but isn’t quite smut. A part two could be done for full smutty goodness to happen…

Originally posted by fondu-with-downey

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anonymous asked:

Can I prompt you? Sayyyyyyy Darcy and Steve are together and he is restrained during sexy times. One day Tony drags Darcy into his lab where Steve has been hit with truth serum and is confessing allllllll the dirty kinky things he wats to do to Darcy

heh.  here you go, rated T for language and slightly inappropriate truths.


Darcy dropped her entire mug of coffee, with the last little bit of pumpkin pie creamer that had been surreptitiously dropped into Jane’s lab’s fridge two weeks after New Year’s (with a post it note attached to it stating it was to Darcy, from an admirer).  She’d made that bottle last well into the summer, just one week past the expiration date, too.  And now the last delicious mug was gone, running down the sink to join its coffee ground brethren (that she had mercilessly dumped into the garbage disposal in revenge for Tony calling out her staring at Steve Rogers at the last Facility wide get together)  

Rhodey ran into the common room and gestured with his hand emphatically.

“You have to get down to Tony’s lab. NOW.”

Now James Rhodes was the level headed one of the operation, really.  He was the only other person on base that seemed to have his wits about him.  Darcy relied on him to be the other steady hand when Tony went a little crazy with the science benders.  Pepper couldn’t be counted on all the time, due to her own incredibly busy schedule.  Jane and Bruce were laughably incapable of tending to their own needs, much less Tony’s.  And Steve and the rest of the Avengers were always busy.  

Especially Steve.  He was always going here or there with Sam and/or Natasha, looking for Bucky  Darcy didn’t see him nearly enough

Darcy chased after Rhodey, knowing that if the other steady hand of the Avengers Corral was desperate and rushed, then it must be something HUGE.  The elevator was waiting for them and they were running into Tony’s lab in less than forty-five seconds.


Darcy jumped back at the roaring shout coming from the middle of Tony’s lab and Rhodey had the good grace to put a calming hand on her shoulder, even if he was smirking at Natasha and Tony across the room.  In between the standing people, Steve Rogers was strapped to a chair with what looked to be steel restraints that he was actively trying (and succeeding) to bend and break.  

“And don’t give me that look, Rhodes, you fucking asshole!” Steve snarled out.  "I always wondered how you could have stuck by fucking Stark all this god damned time and now I know that it’s because you’re just as much of a son of a bitch as he is!“

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Freebie 5  - tagged by @brinabear458

Rather love this idea, NGL - so thank you for sending me on this magical gif hunt my friend .    And I’ll tell you a little secret - I’ve actually met one of my five.   Reveal at end of post.  ;)

1.  Keanu Reeves - always The One (also Canadian so I am patriotic af fight me)

2.  Tom Hardy - most talented mofo ever, best bearded and tatted up slice of sex on a stick.   Also, Alfie Solomons and there I stop.

3.  Norman Reedus - just cool as fuck and not because he is Daryl Dixon - although YES - but because he is Murphy MacManus FIRST.  Get it?

4.  Hugh Jackman - never in a bad mood, despite his alter ego.  This guy never complains or whines about the business and always shows up enthusiastic and smiling.  Multi talented and smiley

Originally posted by hughxjackman

Originally posted by ignitetheliight

5.  Gerard Butler - cause, some just like it Scots. 

Originally posted by gerrythebutler

bonus twosome anyone?   #totallywould

Originally posted by farishkam


Jason Momoa - because just pure Damn!?

Originally posted by nuegado

Colin Firth - because Mr. Darcy, most ardently

Originally posted by falling-slowly96

Okay so who have I got my hands on already?  I can tell you he gives great hugs, smells lovely, has nice hands and is just amazing with his fans.  Like for hours on end.

That’s me cozying up to Mr Reedus.  Also Mr Rooker is a damn legend and coolest dude.

tagging if you want to play:  @thihaf, @badassbaker, @feminamortem, @scallywagsandseamonsters

Darcy/Steve, Coffee shop AU (ii)

for @littleplebe

14. Coffee shop AU

He was always drawing. Darcy thought about asking him about it, but always decided against it. Steve was a private person, so she tried to respect that.  He ordered a black coffee and drank it lukewarm. Sat with his back propped against the wall and his other leg in the stool beside him. The other regulars knew that was Steve’s spot.  

He’d drag his charcoal across the paper with swift broad strokes, sometimes short ones, sometimes they were everything in between, busy capturing little moments that were between him and that paper.

Today, he kept glancing at her while she cleaned down the espresso machine.  Glancing enough that Darcy couldn’t help saying something about it.

“Do I have something in my teeth?”  

Steve smirked, still looking between her and the paper.  “Just a second…”  He smudged it with his thumb before holding it back away from him.  “There.”  He turned the pad around to show her.  

It was…her.  She supposed.  She never thought her eyes were that bright, or that her cheeks were that rosy.  How on earth he could get them rosy-looking using only charcoal was beyond her. But he did.  

“Whoa…” she put down the rag and walked closer.  “You…is that me?”  

“Well…yeah…” he grinned.  “Do you like it?”  

Darcy smiled.  “It’s pretty damn awesome, dude.”  

“Well.  I had a pretty damn awesome subject, so…”

AU // Darcy Lewis as a Demi-Goddess as suggested by @typhoidmeri

– I made a short ficlet to go with the fan art –

It was their first time in Asgard.

Well, not really. It was Jane’s second? Third? Seventh? In Asgard. It was her first. Darcy has been invited the previous times they had to cross the rainbow bridge, but she refused. Her mother would kill her.

“Those Asgardians with their stupid tree of life and their posh golden castles. They think they’re so much better than us Olympians. They’re obviously wrong, Darcy, so don’t listen to a word they say,” her uncle’s siblings used to say. (Zeus. It was mostly Zeus. And Hera. And Ares.)

Who was her uncle? No one other than Hades. Who was her mother? The goddess Nyx. Which was kind of ironic since Darcy herself didn’t really personify night skies and darkness. Although ending up working for (with!!!) Jane made sense when she thought about it. She didn’t tell her friend though, when she chose to help clear the skies when they went out star hunting.

“You’ll love it Darce! Everything’s so golden, and they have the perfect view of the sky. And there are so many things to learn! Their healers know advanced medical techniques!”

Darcy listened to Jane, all the time pretending she heard this for the first time. (She already heard it from uncle Zeus. “They think their technology is better than ours simply because it’s fancier! Heathens!!! Their healers can’t even-“)

“Darcy! Are you even listening?”

“Yes Jane. Rainbow bridge. Awesome doctors and nurses. Golden gates.”


“What? My expertise is negotiating between countries. Not which doctors can cure the flue faster.”

“Just don’t be a drag? Odin has went from hating me to tolerating me, and I can’t have you-“

“Jeopradize your relationship with Thor. Goddit boss lady.”

Thor called for Heimdall and in a flash they were transported. Darcy’s eyes hurt the moment they landed. Odin must be overcompensating for something.

“Welcome, Lady Jane and Lady Darcy. If you feel queasy, that is normal.”

“Nah, I’m fine golden eyes,” she stated to who she assumed was Heimdall, standing straight with his golden regalia. He raised an eyebrow, and she mentally slapped herself. This guy already knew her secret, didn’t he?

“Your rooms await you,” he replies, simply smiling rather mysteriously Darcy’s way.

One of the maids (slaves? Long line of servants families? She didn’t know how the service industry works in Asgard, okay?) led her to her room, which was so much bigger than her dingy apartment back on Earth

“A dress has been chosen for you, milady. Please wear it to the ball,” the maid said. Jane walked by and whispered rather loudly, “Please wear it Darcy. The dinner’s formal and it’s polite to wear it so don’t wear one of your strappy dresses for bar hopping.”

Darcy faked a gasp. “I would never!” she said before laughing and entering her room.

She looked at her dress. Wearing Asgardian clothes as a daughter of an Olympian (well…technically Chthonic) deity? Even Hades, as patient as he is, would get angry. Something about wearing the clothes of the enemy team. Thank goodness she brought one of the dresses her aunt made for her. Persephone did always have good taste. It was polite enough for a formal dinner party, without looking to Midgardian, but still not Grecian enough to make people notice that she was a half. “Aunt Seph, you’re the best!”

Darcy cleaned and prepped herself, wondering what kind of people were invited to the king’s feast. Asgardians probably ate a lot. At least, if most of them ate like Thor they would.  She donned on her dress. It was a pretty lilac-ish, lavender-ish (Persephone’s words, not hers!) colour that was soft enough to obscure her familial ties. She wasn’t bold enough to wear her mother’s colours to an Asgardian feast.

Darcy stepped out of her room and promptly crashed into another body. Another rather hard, leather-bound body.

“I didn’t know we invited the Olympian pantheon to an Asgardian feast,” the sarcastic voice drawled. Drawled. It made her skin crawl. And not in a bad way. She wished it was in a bad way.

“You didn’t. I’m Midgardian. Fling me off a roof and I die Midgardian???” she replied, trying to conceal her panic and her lie. He really was as smart as the stories told.

“We can test that theory of yours.”

“Be ready to be beaten to a pulp by Bruce again if you try to do that Loki,” she said right back, boldly looking up at him (quite up, he was a tall man).

His reply was an amused smirk.

“Well, milady?” he finally said after a long rather tense silence. She took his offered arm and they went together to the ballroom where the feast was held. Darcy was floored. Everything was gold. Chairs, pillars, the goddamn ceiling. Everything. It didn’t compare to Tartarus, obviously, because the dark glinting walls and silver lights that made up her second home grew on her. Asgard was just so 180 she kind of went into shock.

Her eyes scanned the entire room. Her hand went up to cover her open mouth. It was gorgeous. Jane totally didn’t exaggerate.

“Shocked? I assume there is nothing like this on Midgard,” Loki said, a smirk on his face from what she could see from the corner of her eye.

“Cathedrals, my man, cathedrals are totally like this. And castles. Palaces? Yeah those.”

“Midgardian palaces?” he inquired, his smirk growing, as if he know something he shouldn’t, and would use it against her.

Darcy starts to get cold sweat in fear of her secret getting spilled.

You’re a god damn demi-goddess, Darcy Lewis! Get over yourself! You can get through an Asgardian meet n greet!

But before she could tell Loki to shut his trap, fanfares started and they were ushered in.

the color of lightning, pt. 1

Darcy/Pietro, rated T

read: part 2, part 3

Now on AO3.

Agent Darcy Lewis is called in after the Battle of Sokovia to help identify the bodies of the deceased. Except, it turns out, one of them isn’t quite dead.

this is a mirror fic to @paranoidwino‘s Life is Unfair (which is amazing and you should read it!). a million thanks to @dresupi – i couldn’t imagine posting a quicktaser fic without your seal of approval. ;)

Darcy received the emergency alert before dawn.

It was the first time her phone had ever blared that particularly shrill tone, and Darcy fell face-first on the floor in her haste to scramble out of bed. She got dressed in the dark, eyes too bleary with sleep to benefit from the bedside lamp’s light anyway. The phone went off with another alert, and she  scrambled to turn it off. As she swiped at it, the screen displayed over a dozen text messages and several missed calls. They were all from Jane.

Darcy, you’re in the States right now, right?

Darce, please tell me the jack-booted thugs didn’t send you to an active war zone.


God damn it, Darcy. PICK UP YOUR PHONE.

The rest of the messages continued in a similar vein. Hastily, she typed out a quick text.

I’m in DC. just got called in. will call when I can.

Then, she called her superior and reported in. Coulson didn’t have much to say, except, “Turn on the TV, Lewis.”

She did. The destruction of Sokovia broadcasted from every station. It played in slow motion from a thousand different angles. Darcy didn’t think she could bear to watch the tragedy, but wasn’t able to tear her eyes away from the devastation.

“Oh my god,” she whispered, dumbstruck. No other words would come. “Oh my god.”

Luckily, Coulson didn’t seem to expect anything more eloquent from her. “I know. Agent Lewis—”

Darcy couldn’t answer, too riveted in the horror flickering across the TV screen. With a gentler tone, Coulson prompted, “Darcy. I need you to come in. Bodies will be arriving via helicarrier in a matter of hours, and I need people I can trust to oversee the identification of the deceased.”

That pulled her attention away from the traumatizing footage. “Identification of the bodies, sir? In DC?”

Coulson’s sigh reverberated through the line, tinny but audible in its exhaustion. “Yes, in DC. The area wasn’t stable enough to—Darcy, we can’t take the chance of someone picking up the bodies to use for—research.”

The air sat heavy with the words he didn’t say. Right. Hydra. Darcy nodded, even though Coulson wasn’t there to see it. “Got it, Son of Coul. Just tell me where to go.”


Several hours later, primed and ready with several cups of coffee and a shirt that was not inside-out (it turned out Darcy was not particularly skilled at getting dressed in the dark), She arrived at the morgue.

The entire building was eerily still. Only a handful of people were assigned to the task of identifying the bodies—Coulson didn’t lie about wanting to keep it quiet. Everyone stayed quiet in their work—either out of respect for the dead or due to the stifling silence that permeated the building. The only sound was the quiet thunk of SHIELD security as they made their rounds through the building.

Knowing that she couldn’t put off her job forever, Darcy sighed and entered her designated room. It was filled almost wall to wall with black body bags. She had to pause just inside the doorway to tilt her head back, willing away the sharp burn of tears that lingered at the back of her throat.

Darcy offered a silent plea for the dead to find peace, because they could not speak for themselves. Then, shaking off the last of her hesitation, she moved to the first bag. After confirming that the woman inside matched the identification found with her body, Darcy painstakingly wrote Tanya Ivanovna Mirkova on the little card.

And so the day passed. Darcy moved from one bag to the next, verifying identities and copying their names down before moving on. Her back started to ache terribly, but she refused to rush through the task. In some strange, morbid way she felt as though she was responsible for sending them off, and she wanted to do it right.

She was about three-quarters of the way through the room when an anomaly brought her up short. Darcy had paused for a moment, stretching out her sore back and cracking her neck before moving on to the next body. Stifling a small yawn, she pulled the zipper down on the next bag only to freeze in shock.

She would recognize that face, that hair anywhere. It was Pietro Maximoff.

(read more link here)

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Happy Birthday, meilan-firaga!

March 22 - Tongue-tied, Darcy Lewis/Stephen Strange for @meilan-firaga

“This one?” Darcy put a book down on the table in front of Strange. He definitely lived up to the name, she thought. An odd sort indeed, even if he was sexy as all get-out. She’d had more than a few dreams about that facial hair of his since Jane loaned her out to help Strange with his research.

“That’s the one.” He flipped it open, started rapidly scanning the pages written in a language she couldn’t read - she thought it might be Sanskrit. As usual he completely forgot her existence when he was deep in the books, so she quietly started picking up the ones he’d already discarded and putting them back on her cart to re-shelve. Thank goodness she’d taken those library science classes, even if Wong had a completely different way of shelving things than the Dewey classification.

“That’s it!” Strange startled her by jumping to his feet. “This is the enchantment I’ve been searching for! I know what to do now.”

“Let’s go!” Darcy said enthusiastically. She’d been ready for DAYS. The Avengers were out there fighting for time, along with every other hero Earth had managed to dredge up, and she’d been trapped in this library quite long enough sneezing over dusty old books.

“Not you. You’re not coming.”

“Oh, yes I am!” There was no way he was leaving her behind. No. Freaking. Way. Darcy’s eyes narrowed. She would use every tactic at her disposal to get her way. Even the really dirty ones.

Stephen drew himself up, narrowing his annoyingly deep blue eyes at her and gazing down over the nearly-a-foot distance in their heights. “Do you know who I am, girl?”

“An arrogant asshat with the common sense of a gnat?”

Stephen’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times with sheer shock, but he was damned fast, Darcy had to give him that. He recovered quickly and raised his finger to waggle it at her. She deliberately folded his arms under her breasts and watched his eyes drop.

“I am the Sorcewer Supweme!” Stephen would forever afterwards swear that Darcy had used some sort of enchantment to make the words mangle in his mouth. She would just smile and agree that her boobs were magical all by themselves.

Darcy’s eyes lit up.

Sorcerer Supreme,” he repeated the words slowly and carefully.

Darcy opened her mouth.

“Mawwiage!” she declaimed. “Mawwiage is what bwings us togethaw today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wuvv, twue wuvv…”

“If I say you can come with me, please will you stop quoting The Princess Bride?” Stephen said desperately.

Darcy smiled and tucked her hand into his arm. “I knew you’d come to see things my way. Let’s go save the world. Wuvv.”

hot damn, sam

Pairing:  Darcy Lewis/Sam Wilson
For:  @hollyspacey
Prompt:  [this list], i’ve never actually talked to you but i had a dream we were in a relationship and now i have a crush on you AU

Darcy blushed crimson when she saw him.  He always seemed to be in the line adjacent to hers at the coffee place downstairs.  She’d never spoken to him or seen him anywhere else in the building, but that didn’t mean he didn’t live here.  

And given the nature of the dream she’d had the night before, the dream starring this mysterious man, she was going to have to speak to him at some point.  Because hot damn.

“Sam?” called the barista, handing him his coffee.  He turned and nearly ran into Darcy on his way out.  

“Whoops!”  he said with a chuckle, patting her shoulder.  "Sorry ‘bout that, baby…"  He winked and left the coffee shop.  

Darcy took a deep breath and shook herself out.  Yeah, she was definitely going to have to talk to him at some point.