damn he gets the good brands

UNSOLICITED PARENTING ADVICE: JUST DON’T.

Listen, I am a MAMA BEAR to the fullest extent. I don’t know how much more “mama” I can be.

Nothing I hate more than unsolicited parenting advice. I know what the hell im doing with MY child.

I know that my son has specific cries & I know how to handle each one. If my son is seemingly “loud” to you please do not come over with a failed attempt to “make him stop” because I can guarantee you’ll scare him and make it worse.

I formula feed, yes. The liquid gold no longer flows through my body & I have zero intention on starving my child so fuck off if it’s an issue for you. He’s 20lbs and very healthy.

I can’t stand diaper shamers. I didn’t even realize it was possible to debate about diapers. Every child is different and will react differently to certain brands. I personally use Huggies diapers & Pampers wipes. My child has sensitive skin, so while the cheaper or “trendy” brands might be more efficient to someone else. I am not giving my child a rash for the sake of being cheap or trendy.

I also co-sleep. I don’t need to get into a big thing about it. That’s just what works for us. If it doesn’t work for you that’s fine. Just don’t come at me with the “he needs to be in his own bed” crap cause I’ll put him in there when im good & damn well ready to.

There is a 150/100 chance that I will curse you out for offering unsolicited parenting advice. If I don’t ask for it, don’t give it.

Does that sound rude? It might. This is my child though, and like I said earlier..

I KNOW WHAT THE HELL IM DOING.

“You’re cute when you’re jealous” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Hey dude ! First, a big thanks for the compliment, always more than appreciated :D. And then, here’s your request, hope you’ll like it :

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

______________________________________________________________________

-I just don’t understand why it has to be with a model that’s all…

-Honey, I already told you, she’s the face of the brand, she has to be on every pictures.

-Yeah well then if she’s the face of the brand, why would they need you ?

-You know why, it’s for the charity campaign we’ve been working on for the past few months. They’re a huge brand, they’ll help spread the words across the globe, more than we could on our own.

-”We’ve been working on” are key words here ! I worked on it as much as you, if not more, and I don’t get to be on the pictures. They just want you and her to have cute and classy “couple pictures”, because I’m not good looking enough for their damn brand and…

-You’re very cute when you’re jealous.

-I could knock you out with a punch to the face when I’m jealous.

-Oh, believe me, I know.

Bruce massages his jaw a bit, as a reflex, reminiscing of that time he made you jealous on purpose…It was a terrible idea. 

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Reita and Aoi don’t like shopping for clothes (Rajigaze Jan 13)

Reita (reading mail): “Reita-san, Aoi-san, good evening. I’m writing you about one of this month’s themes, Anger. Last week you guys were talking about store employees [who pissed you off]”

Aoi: Ah yes yes (*the one where the cashier kept asking Aoi if he was sure he’d grabbed the right size of underwear as if he didn’t believe him)

Reita: “Last month I also got pissed off by a store employee for the first time in a while. I wanted to buy a new coat, so I was looking at them when one of the staff came and talked to me. Everything was fine until I tried it on, what happened after was the problem. I understand that [the staff] wanted to sell the coat, but they were trying to do so by comparing it to the one I was wearing that day. And maybe it was just the way they were saying it, but it felt like they were making fun of me, and I was really uncomfortable. Have you two ever experienced something like that?” – so I guess it was like, well your coat is like this but our coat is like – more stylish or something? 

Aoi: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah 

Reita: Like saying her coat wasn’t as good?

Aoi: Yeah exactly. 

(Reita chuckles) 

Reita: I listened to your Anger talk last week you know

Aoi: Oh did you? 

Reita: Yeah, that guy who was like, “is this the right size,” right? (laughs) 

Aoi: Oh yEAH!

(both laugh) 

Reita: He asked u twice right…yeah I listened to that one

Aoi: Yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh…but you know I don’t really think many people talk about [the clothes they’re selling] in comparison with the ones you’re wearing…

Reita: Right? I don’t think they usually do that, no one’s ever done it to me…

Aoi: Well I guess everyone’s different

Reita: How do you feel about like – you know when you’re clothes shopping, the staff comes and talks to you a lot. Are you ok w that? 

Aoi: Omg no they talk to me so much omg 

Reita: (laughs) It’s annoying eh? 

Aoi: Yes…..

Reita: So they come up to u and ask “what are u looking for”……wyd

Aoi: NOPE

Reita: (laughing) What do you mean nope 

Aoi: I’m like noooope

Reita: They’re like “are you looking for a jacket?”

Aoi: Ughhhhhhh

Reita: It’s annoying when they ask, right?

Aoi: Well-uhh-yeh– (can’t talk)

(both laugh)

Reita: Like it’s fine if they’re like “feel free to try that on” and ur like “k thanks” and that’s it but…when they start explaining their products…

Aoi: Well I mean I don’t really…

Reita: Oh you don’t go clothes shopping that much anyway? Like once every few months?

Aoi: I probably go like once or twice a year. 

Reita: Ahhhh…

Aoi: So I don’t really know what stores are like.

Reita: Yeah same…and I always go to the same few stores, and it’s the same people working there all the time, so like…I wait on the third floor or something, and they bring the clothes up for me. 

Aoi: Wait what, like the clothes you wanna try on?

Reita: No they just bring a bunch of stuff up and I just try it on, and then they bring more stuff (laughs)

Aoi: Oh u famous huh

Reita: (laughing) No no no it’s just – [the store] goes all the way to the basement, so –

Aoi: So just go down there yourself. 

Reita: Nah I’m just like “bring me something good please.”

Aoi: (whispers) Damn,,,,,,,,,,,,

Reita: (laughs) But yeah I don’t really like going to clothing stores…so what, you buy them online?

Aoi: Yeah I do. 

Reita: Yeah I feel u. But you get the size wrong don’t you (laughs) 

Aoi: Yeh….yeh I do…….

Reita: Ruki used to always give me clothes that were the wrong size (laughs) he always gets the size wrong

Aoi: But even when it’s the same brand, sometimes the sizes are a little bit different depending on the thing, you know? 

Reita: Yeah totally.

Aoi: It’s unbelievable. 

Reita: It happens…like u get a shirt that’s way too small for u

Aoi: Like if it’s too big I can deal with it…but when it’s small

Reita: (laughs) if it’s small u can’t do shit w it

Aoi: Yes…

I just had to dump all of this because this idea would not leave me alone, but think of the possibilities that would come with Mettaton as Captain of the Royal Guard. 

He’s placed in the Guard because of his Human Eradication features and there’s some grade-A MTT brand tears to be shed, but eventually he accepts it and becomes the best god damned Royal Guard ever because never let it be said that Mettaton half-asses.

It might not have been the way he intended to get famous, but hey, everyone still loves a good ‘Hero of the People’ when they see one and he’s still got fans all the same.

Go for the club, stay for the DATE

An actual god damned NEO fight him and Mad Dummy argue the whole time over who gets to play hero and never actually take their turn therefore preventing the fighting from going anywhere ala sans

Color? What is this color you speak of?

Dulled Mind - Chapter 1

“Welcome to the greatest hive of scum and villainy in this entire damned sector,” Bulat chuckled as he landed the cruiser in the spaceport of the most aptly named Avarice Quartus. “Now, let’s get fucked up, shall we?”

Naomi leapt off the ship, going through the bubble of contained air after their ship had been maglocked to the port. They landed on the surface of the spaceport, and walked inside. The artificial gravity kicked in, and Naomi’s feet planted firmly on the ground. She brushed the clinging static of the containment field off her black shirt and waited for Kate to get off the ship.

Kate’s long hair stood up in messy strands from the static electricity, levitating in the air. When she straightened her hair and let it hang down again, Naomi decided to have a little fun. Kate’s hair floated back up, suspended high in the air like some sort of creature that had taken up residence on her head. Kate flattened it down again, shrugging it off as just some electricity that hadn’t quite gone away.

Naomi made it rise up again. Kate caught on, glaring at Naomi, who responded with a smug smile. The hair came to life under her influence, moving and twisting around to form a false mustache around Kate’s mouth.

“Hey, stop!” Kate pushed the hair away, trying and failing to hide an amused smirk. “That tickled.” 

Naomi blew a kiss over in her direction.

“Love you, babe,” she said.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

sdr2 boys w/ an s/o who loves makeup!!

Haha, I’m going to be perfectly honest here, I actually have very little make up knowledge! I own like 3 pieces of make up in total and they’re all for the eyes, but anyways, here you are :D

SDR2 Boys and a S/O who loves make up

Hajime Hinata:

- He made the mistake of asking you

- “Hey what’s this for?”

- You then basically went off on a massive tangent about how this brush is for foundation which is an essential 

- Why did I ask

- He tries to listen, he really does but he doesn’t understand a thing so he just nods enthusiastically

Kazuichi Soda:

- “Soda - kun! Which colour looks better?”

- “Uh.. Aren’t they the same?”

- What. You honestly can’t believe he just said that! You come up to him and takes his brightest light

- You then spend an hour explaining how burgundy and cherry red are entirely different

- He just sort of sits there scratching his head but he’s happy to see how enthusiastic you are about all this

Nagito Komaeda:

- He’s actually quite knowledgeable when it comes to make up, he’d often pick shades which would match your skin tone more 

- He’d often accompany you whenever you went out to buy it, he loved seeing the smile on your face whenever you found a good deal

- If you can’t do something, he’s happy to try and help you

- Although we all know how his luck works

- You either look beautiful or you look like someone spilt paint on your face, nonetheless the two of you just laugh it off and try again

Nekomaru Nidai:

- He has no idea why you use it

- Besides his hands are too big to hold any of it

- The only good thing about seeing you apply makeup is the fact that you make funny facial expressions 

- “Bwahahaha why are you opening your mouth? You’re applying something to your eyes!”

- “It helps me concentrate! Everyone does it!”

Gundham Tanaka:

- He has knowledge about it, after all he needs to draw his lightning bolt somehow!

- You’d often offer him to do those silly challenges like the my boyfriend does my make up challenge

- “Who do you think I am?! I do not stoop to such levels!… Not on camera at least!”

- The pair of you would then often end up just giggling and messing about

- Needless to say it takes ages to actually wash off

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu:

- “I don’t know a thing about make up.”

- “Really? Then how do you get your cheeks so rosy?”

- TRIGGERED

- He doesn’t mind that you love it, he’d often listen to you talk about it but he doesn’t go anywhere near it

- Although he does like it when he finds lipstick on the collar of his shirt

Byakuya Twogami (Imposter):

- Ngl he would probably judge what brands you use

- He of course only uses the highest quality available to make his disguises as flawless as possible

- If you were going out to a fancy-ish place he’d often ask if he could do it for you and you had to admit he did a pretty damn good job

- He’d often get you small gifts in the forms of things like lipstick or eyeshadow and even though you knew they were expensive he’d just laugh and say that there was a sale

- What a cutie

Teruteru Hanamura:

- When you explained to him what each piece of make up is for and the first time the first thing he compared it to was spices

- “Ohohon… Say S/O - san why don’t you leave some of that lipstick on me?”

- He loves your make up so he’s always fanboying over it

- “You look so pretty! I have the prettiest partner!”

- You could swear you saw him applying your blusher on once… It would explain his cheeks I guess

Not a Normal Relationship for Not Normal People

Title: Not a Normal Relationship for Not Normal People 
Pairing: Jason Todd/You 
Character(s): Jason Todd/Red Hood, You, mentioning of Roy Harper
Plot: y'all got a messed up relationship
Warnings: uh mentions of alcohol and drugs and sex, strong language, yelling, bit of violence.
Words: 1000

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anonymous asked:

Heya can I request headcanons for Lavi, Allen, Kanda and Link for them brushing/braiding their s\o 's hair or vice versa??

Originally posted by dachuuzaiya

  • Lavi will gladly brush your hair for you. He likes to play with it, run his fingers through the soft locks. It makes him happy. He will braid your hair without you even asking, though, so don’t be surprised if you find a bunch of braids randomly dispersed through your hair.
  • You want to brush his hair? Hell yeah. He loves feeling your hands in his hair, and rotates his head to follow them and the brush as you work through his fluffy locks. His hair isn’t really long enough for good braids, but if you want to give him some little braids, he’ll keep them in for the rest of the day.

Originally posted by anime-pictures-and-other-stuff

  • Allen will brush your hair if you ask him too. Like Lavi, he enjoys running his fingers through your hair. He’s really careful with the brush, afraid he might accidentally yank on your hair or scratch your scalp with it. He also can’t braid very well, but you give him an A for effort, and still keep it in your hair, even if it’s pretty much falling apart.
  • He lets you brush his hair. It feels nice, and he trusts you won’t start yanking on it. He’ll usually close his eyes and just relax while you do your work. However, he’s pretty confused when he opens his eyes and finds his hair pulled back in a braid. It makes him realize that maybe it’s starting to get too long and should be cut soon.

Originally posted by anime-pictures-and-other-stuff

  • Kanda is not going to brush or braid you hair. Even if you can’t do it yourself, he’ll redirect you to somebody like Lenalee or Miranda. And honestly? You probably don’t want him to mess with you hair. This is the man who washes his own hair with soap. Plus, he’s not gentle, so you’d end up losing more hair than anything.
  • If he lets you touch his hair, congratulations, you’re in, you finally wormed your way into his stone cold heart. Using puppy eyes helps get you what you want when you’ve reached this stage, playing with his hair included. However! You are absolutely not allowed to braid it. But you can brush it and tie it up for him, if you’d like. Despite the fact that he washes his hair with soap, his hand is SO SILKY AND SOFT. You kinda want to find out what brand of soap he’s using because damn you might need to try it out.(don’t actually do that though, that’s not a good idea.)

Originally posted by jerzas

  • Link will do your hair if you ask him too, but he’s a little surprised you wanted his help, of all people. He’s very good at doing your hair; have you seen how good his hair looks? He has practice. Plus, when he was little, he used to help the kids with longer hair pull it back and keep it out of their faces so they don’t trip or run into anything. Surprisingly knows a lot of braiding techniques that hold through the entire day.
  • He lets you do his hair with no qualms, but again, he’s surprised. He doesn’t get why you would want to, but he won’t tell you no. God damn his hair is so soft. You ask him if you can do this always from now on. He’s embarrassed and says you really don’t have to. He always goes around with his hair braided, so if you braid it, he is going to keep it as is.
10

A summary on Produce 101 Season 2 Episode 8 its ya boy back at it agian with another let’s play this time its evaluations and painful crying time

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2

Sam Winchester’s Journal – Entry #59

Some things are not meant to happen.

Today, I thought I’d finally take my revenge on Gadreel, that I’d get a chance to make him pay, blow after blow, for what he’s done, but now I’ll have to wait. The son of a bitch suddenly became a valuable bargaining chip in a deal set by Metatron himself and unfortunately, it was an offer we couldn’t refuse: Gadreel’s life against Castiel’s. I wasn’t keen on letting the angel go but between revenge and friendship, the choice was quickly made.

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Love is a sickness

Note: Inspired by @ask-bts-stuff‘s lovely artwork (I’m like four years late but pls love me)
Pairing: Namjin
Words: 4.9k
Ao3: blt_prf
SummaryJin is the school nurse and Namjoon happens to get hurt a lot.

“The way you manage to always get hurt is beyond me.”
“Maybe they’re just excuses to see you,” Namjoon blurts out before he can stop himself. 


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bootyshakerkegrimm  asked:

Can you do cute bath time headcanons for Josuke, Okuyasu, and Rohan with their s/o please?

LORD, YA DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR A BATH ASK

Josuke in the bath with s/o

  • Poor boy would whimper before the bath, knowing that his pompadour is gonna have to get ruined and heavy with water
  • He’d probably be really hygenic. He loves being clean ~
  • The amount of bath scrubs and loofahs this boy has is unreal
  • He’d also probably bring a small radio with him to listen to some jams (Prince, especially) while they bathe.
  • His shampoos, body washes, and conditioners are expensive, big-brands with an amazing scent. His favorites are American brands.
  • Steamy make-outs in the shower. Josuke loves it when his s/o runs their fingers through his hair when they make out while warm water hits their bodies
  • He’d be the type to have one of those cute, little plastic asian-stools and sit on them to help wash s/o or let them wash his back for him
  • He loves to kiss on s/o’s neck and shoulder blades as he washes them. His thick lips are so soft to the touch as they press against s/o’s skin
  • Josuke would also like to use the shampoo and bubbles in his hair to make weird and funny hairstyles. His favorite is the unicorn as he uses the shampoo to make his hair into a single point
  • After a good scrubbing, he likes to sit down in the tub with his lover and relax
  • He likes to hold onto the showerhead and rub his hands all over s/o’s body while he rubs away the bubbles
  • After the bath, he loves to wrap himself and s/o with fluffy towels before cuddling in bed with wet hair
  • Josuke feels so damn good when he lays his head on s/o’s lap while s/o uses q-tips to clean his ears

Okuyasu in the bath with s/o

  • He’d probably twitch his nose at the smell of all these new bath products
  • He’s so relieved that he’s getting a free bath, considering the abandoned house he lives with his father. Poor boy doesn’t have running water in the house’s pipes anymore.
  • This boy likes to show off his body so he flexes during the shower to his s/o and loves getting validation from them
  • He doesn’t care what scent or brand the bath products are so he’d probably use regular hand soap to clean his hair and entire body
  • Okuyasu gets red, shy and flustered when s/o asks him to scrub their backs or feet
  • He’s shy and hesitant to touch s/o but eventually will and it feels so natural and right when he does.
  • Due to clumsiness, he’d probably slip but will try to pull it off that it didn’t hurt
  • This boy loves bringing rubber ducks into the bath. Definitely.
  • A lot of eskimo kisses and pecks on the cheek or neck as they sit in the tub
  • He laughs and giggles a lot during the shower when he’s scrubbed by s/o
  • After the bath, he loves having cool chocolate or coffee flavored milk with s/o as they cuddle together in towels

Rohan in the bath with s/o

  • Rohan is incredibly hygienic, taking more steps than Josuke. He’s a clean freak
  • “You’re the only one who gets to study the great Rohan Kishibe’s body and form. Be thankful.” Boy tsundere as fuck but he’s just as happy to see s/o exposed and trust him with their body.
  • Rohan uses fancy, expensive shampoos and lotions from Switzerland probably.
  • Boy so clean and fancy that he brings bath bombs or salts to the bath. His bath bombs come in colors of green, blue, gold, or white and their scents are mint, lime, or chamomile.
  • He likes to sit in the tub with s/o for a long time. He stays quiet unless s/o brings up a conversation
  • Rohan is bossy and likes to demand s/o to scrub his body for him. “There’s the scrub. Pour some body wash on it and clean my body as your payment for wanting to bathe with me.”
  • If s/o begs him enough, Rohan will have a soft-spot to scrub s/o in return but he’ll act like it’s a chore. In reality, his heart pounds that his hands will rub over s/o’s body from their shoulders, waist, and thighs
  • He loves to apply on relaxing, essential oils and lotions on their bodies after their bath.
  • Dis boy wears a face mask on his face and puts cucumber slices over his eyes to prevent any aging or wrinkles oml. S/o would roll their eyes bc Rohan is obviously gorgeous the way he is.
  • He spends like two hours applying lotions and creams to his face and the rest of his body to remain soft
  • Like Josuke, he also likes to settle his head on s/o’s lap and request his ears to be cleaned. He crosses his arms and says shit like “Clean my ears for me. Without a mirror, it is difficult to clean out my ears. You will do the job just fine” and acts like a hardass but he’s lovin’ it. He loves the way the gentle cotton-ball rubs the outside of his ear canal and it slowly puts him to sleep. He ends up passing out, breathing gently as his chest falls and rises. It is the perfect moment for s/o to kiss his cheek and wish him a “good night, Mr.Mangaka”

anonymous asked:

Exo reaction to their gf humping their thigh in her sleep

Sehun: *Low key tries to replace his thigh with his dick*

Kai: *Kai would be so busy sleeping he wouldn’t even notice. And who knows he might be groping your boobs and wouldn’t even know himself, He’d be thinking to himself damn this is a good ass dream*

Tao: * He would look at you like bitch these are my brand knew Gucci pajamas “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!”

D.O:* He would wonder what your dreaming about but deep down be like “Someone, Anyone, HELP!!!……*

Chanyeol: *Laughing in embarrassment* 

Chen: *Takes out phone and and records you. And also use’s it for blackmail*

Baekyun: *He would escalate the problem further by putting his mouth to use*

 Lay: “Is she…..yep…”

Suho: “Baby please wake up….Daddy’s horny”

Kris: * To busy trying to get you off his thigh, Then finally gives up*

Luhan:”Mmmm….Baby….*Dirty thoughts*

Xiumin: *He just wants his thigh back tbh….Any day now babe*

Enjoy!  If you have a request’s for a reaction or imagine or confession, feel free to let me know<3…

Holster Has Made Out With Everyone 12) Frog Year: Ransom

His first practice of the pre-season, and Adam Birkholz has a hangover. Like, the worst hangover of all time.

There are so many mixers at this college, they’ve already started to run into each other. Though last night was… yeah. Memorable.

Keep reading

Wait wait wait. Okay, there are at least a hundred Teen Wolf / Harry Potter fusion fic. But are there no crossover fic that aren’t wacky mass-crack stories? 

What if someone in admissions registered–oh shit, there’s a kid with some serious magic potential over in Beacon Hills, California. We should probably get on that.

And sent a late ass letter.

And suddenly Stiles is going to school with a bunch of younger kids, because he has to start in first year. And that’s the least of the things he takes issue with because what even.

“What the fuck do you mean the stairs move?”

“Where do they go?”

“You don’t know." 

"AND THE TEACHERS ARE OKAY WITH THIS?!" 

"THIS SCHOOL IS WORSE THAN BEACON HILLS HIGH SCHOOL." 

"AND WE HAD WEREWOLVES IN THE BASEMENT." 

"How do you get security guards to–" 

"You don’t. That’s what prefects are for?" 

"YOU MAKE OTHER STUDENTS DO THIS SHIT?!" 

Stiles Stilinski, 500% Done With This Shit. 

Snickering every time he’s told "Swish and flick" 

Stiles using his special brand of desperation and brilliance to get working wifi on school grounds. 

Because he needs porn. 

And the ability to google the effects of that eldritch thing that bit Sammy on the way to class. 

Because moving staircases. 

ALWAYS A GOOD PLAN. 

At least Deaton never tried to bite him. Damn.

Neighborhood Romance

Stiles and Derek are neighbors and hilarity ensues, ok sexytimes also ensues. It’s all good! 

monday i can fall apart but by friday i’m in love by tryslora | 5,609

It’s just past five in the morning and Stiles is barely awake, wearing only sleep pants that hang low below his pregnant belly, and he can’t get the damned brand new jar of decaf coffee open. But he has a neighbor, and he’s too tired to think that waking someone else up at this hour might not be the best (or politest) of ideas.

Listen to the Beat by amazingpages | 5,561

Of all the things Derek thought he’d have to deal with upon moving into his new apartment, a loudly masturbating neighbor wasn’t one of them.

of course, of course by bleep0bleep | 12,948

Derek swallows, watching Stiles mull over the paperwork. “Are you sure about this?”

“Absolutely,” Stiles says, licking his lips. He signs with a flourish and pushes the contract back at Derek.

Derek knows every word of the contract by heart, but his heart stutters anyways when a sentence jumps out at him. The client acknowledges that any bond created during the heat session is temporary.

The flamingo in the yard by Vendelin | 6,107

It isn’t fair that Stiles needs to work Christmas, when his dad is on the other side of the country. Or that his really hot, next door neighbour is around for the holidays as well. Or that there’s a power outage that makes things even worse. Or better.

All You Ever Needed to Know About Knotting by KuriKuri | 4,781

Derek had started reading the column by accident. Really, reading strangers’ questions about knotting and heat had never really appealed to him. However, at that point in time, he was a little desperate.

And he was right: most of the questions submitted by anonymous readers didn’t appeal to him. The answers, though, did.

(Or: In which Stiles writes an advice column about knotting and Derek is smitten. Also they’re neighbors.)

This Might Be Irony by thepsychicclam | 38,340

Stiles and Derek have been close friends since the Hale siblings moved in next door after their parents’ death. But Derek’s in the popular group, he’s a star baseball player, and he dates popular Pep Squad captain Jennifer Blake. Stiles doesn’t have any of that, just his skateboard and a hopeless crush on Derek (oh yeah, and his Vote Lydia Martin Prom Queen button). As prom and the baseball state championship grow closer, Stiles and Derek start rekindling their friendship.

And it all begins with two white boards.

Talk to Me, Baby by Sarageek16 | 2,386

Derek delivers a basket to a neighbor he didn’t realize he had, Stiles speaks Polish, and Laura cackles in the background. Also, a drag queen.

[Sleep]Walking After You by relenafanel | 56,551

Derek is a sleepwalker who keeps wandering into his downstairs neighbour’s bedroom.

Stiles is pretty sure the hot guy from the park is going to kill him in his sleep. He knows he shouldn’t have been so obvious about objectifying the guy’s really fine ass.

Too bad it turns out Derek is easier to get along with when he’s sleeping.

Gravity’s Got Nothing on You by zosofi | 83,980

“Three weeks,” Derek says.

“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.

“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…

“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“

“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”

“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

Of Neighbours and Miguel by neko_fish | 7,904

Stiles has mixed feelings about his new apartment building. On the one hand, his flatmate’s gone MIA, the amount of junk mail he gets is ridiculous, and his neighbours are maybe-possibly-probably killers.

But on the other hand, there’s Miguel—perfect, beautiful Miguel.

A Blossoming Romance by Trelkez | 7,533

Stiles will just have to try harder next time. No one can ignore him forever.

Knot the Average Alpha by blacktofade | 20,331

Stiles’ favourite porn star, Derek Hale, moves into his apartment block and there are inappropriate facial jokes, broken bones, and a staggering amount of threats in a tiny elevator.

Uncover the Endless Hours by BarlowGirl | 15,059

“Can I buy you breakfast?” Derek blurted, then cringed. Where exactly had that come from? He couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d asked somebody out. Not that he was asking Stiles out. Just for breakfast. And - he was pathetic.

Stiles blinked, honey-whiskey-golden eyes huge in the dim light. “What?”

“I woke up you up at two in the morning,” Derek said, more slowly. “I – you know, food?”

“Oh.” Stiles shook his head. “I have to get up at five and I stayed up stupid late as it is. I’m gonna be a mess tomorrow already and–”

“Nobody gives a fuck, Romeo,” somebody shouted from outside and Stiles jerked so hard he cracked his head on Derek’s windowsill.

Or: The one where Stiles is a cop and Derek doesn’t sleep.

Windows by dr_girlfriend | 83,005

Derek has a new neighbor who won’t stop looking.

Peculiar / Interesting by standinginanicedress | 14,400

“Don’t you think he’s strange?”

The boys watch as Stiles drops his half eaten donut on the ground, flails for a second before glancing all around as if checking to make sure no one’s watching – and then scoops the glazed treat right back up and takes another bite, albeit with a guilty expression on his face.

“Strange?” Scott repeats, furrowing his brow.

“Yeah. Like – you know. Peculiar.”

The Best Gifts

Jacob Frye x Reader

A/N: So, haha, funny story… This was actually supposed to be for the twins’ birthday, but y’know…


“Henry!” You shouted, clapping your hand roughly on his back. He nearly jumped out of his skin, two wide eyes looking to you immediately.

“Yes?” He inquired, the initial startle from your entrance wearing off.

“I could really use your help!” You grasped both hands tightly in front of you, pleading with Henry to help.

“With?” A skeptical brow was raised, the Assassin not entirely sure why you needed his help all of the sudden.

You were normally quite well on your own, and when the rare time came that you actually did need help, Jacob was always more than eager to volunteer. Leaning in closer to him, you dropped your voice down to a whisper.

“I don’t know what to get Jacob for his birthday.” You admitted weakly, gripping his shoulders in a tight grasp. “His birthday is today and I don’t know what to get him! Evie was easy, but Jacob?”

Your hands involuntarily squeezed harder, easing up when Henry hissed at the pain.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, “But I really need some help!”

Nodding once, he took a step back from your grip, eying your hands cautiously.

“Why not talk to Evie?” He questioned, crossing both arms over his chest. “Surely she would know what to get. And besides, I believe that you know what Jacob would like more than I would.”

You threw both hands into your hair, tugging at the roots with a groan.

“I can’t find Evie and I have no idea what to get him.” Dropping the hands from your hair, you jumped towards the Assassin again, gripping his shoulders with slightly less strength than the time before.

“What did you get him? Maybe that will help!” Henry opened his mouth to reply, closing it once again after a pause. He narrowed his gaze, sizing you up for a moment or two.

“Did Jacob put you up to this?” He asked. You gasped, placing a hand over your heart and another over your mouth.

“You think…” you trailed off. “You think I would go through all of this trouble to find out what you got for Jacob? I’m hurt! No, I am beyond hurt!” Henry shifted his footing, moving in slightly closer to you.

“What’d he do to get you to do this?” There was no evidence of hesitation any longer, a sign that he was definitely on to you.

Considering how often you and Jacob got into trouble together, it wasn’t that big of a stretch to think he’d send you in here to find out his present. Jacob really was impatient about surprises.

“He bought me a pint.” You shrugged, leaning back against the doorframe.

“Honestly?” Henry looked half impressed and half annoyed. You laughed at the sight, nodding.

“Yeah, I bet him you wouldn’t fall for it though. So now he owes me another.” A slow smirk spread across your lips, brows playfully raising.

“Have you actually found a gift for Jacob?” Henry asked curiously.

“Yep,” you replied, popping the ‘p’. “And he’s going to love it.”

That was a bit of an understatement. You had already given yourself multiple pats on the back for finding the gift. Hell, you’d go as far as saying that it was the best damn gift he’d ever receive. Nobody knew Jacob Frye like you did.

“I am sure he will.” Henry replied, something almost knowing behind the shining in his eyes.

Unfortunately, he didn’t give you much time to ponder it, going on about putting some finishing touches on his gift to Evie as he excused himself. You sighed to yourself, watching him retreat to the next cart. Jacob would probably be mad that you didn’t figure out Henry’s gift, but hey, at least you got a pint out of it. Smiling to yourself, you thought of your gift for the younger Frye. Oh, he was so going to love it.


“So?” Jacob held both hands in the air, a wide smirk spread on his lips. You rolled your eyes at him, admiring his features beneath your lashes. He may be your best friend, but even you could admit how attractive he was.

“No luck.” You replied, holding out a hand for your pint.

He scowled, looking decidedly annoyed, before sliding the pint he’d ordered a few minutes prior to your side of the table.

“Damn, I really thought that’d work.” He sighed, one hand sliding through his dark hair. Jacob looked positively delightful under the warm glow of the pub, and not even the harsh smell of grimy patrons or the bitter taste of cheap beer could lessen that.

“Eh,” you shrugged nonchalantly, leaning back with the pint in one hand, “I knew it wasn’t going to. Henry knows us too well by now.”

“We’ll have to try something different next year.” Jacob mused, rubbing his chin in deep thought.

“Just a bit early for that, don’t you think?”

Your lips twitched up, his following soon after.

“I’ve got your gift.” You said, pulling out a small, blue box with a red ribbon. Unsurprisingly, Jacob looked like a child given permission to eat all the candy he’d like.

“You shouldn’t have.” He stated in an overly excited voice, taking the gift from your hands.

“I’m not one to brag,” you began, leaning back in the booth with a smirk. He was so going to love this. “But I did a damn good job at picking a present this year.”

With all the enthusiasm of a child on Christmas morning, Jacob tore at the paper, throwing it carelessly around him. He ripped into the box, smiling widely when he found the present inside. There, placed precariously in the middle (because yes, you know exactly how excited Jacob gets when opening gifts) was the shining metal of brass knuckles. Protruding from the golden glow was two clear words: Jacob Frye.

“The markings make it so your name is branded onto whoever you hit.” You explained, nearly jumping out of your skin when Jacob pounced forward, crushing you to his chest.

“You know me so well, love.” He claimed, pulling away to flash you a heart-throbbing smile.

“Nah, I just knew you’d like it because you’re a bloody brute.”

He rolled his eyes, seeming to make a decision in a split second. He gave you no prior warning, tugging you in and crashing his lips to yours. It was intoxicating, although that could be the beer talking. You eagerly reciprocated, your lips matching the rhythm of his. Just as his tongue traced your bottom lip, he pulled back. Shooting you a wink and a smirk, he took off, present in hand.

You sat there staring at the space he’d previously occupied, the taste of his heavy on your tongue. You breathed in the familiar scent of mint and alcohol, your lips curling up in a sweet smile. Oh, Jacob Frye, it is so on.

Daredevil headcanons

Okay so these are just my thoughts but my gods. I love Daredevil so hard. Let me know what you think?

1. The little girl that first prompted Matt to put on the mask grows up to become a police officer. She works heavily with child services. She thanks God everyday for answering her prayers and making her dad stop - perhaps going so far as to attend Matt’s church. Can you imagine his face when he senses her come in? Because he’ll know its her. And he’ll notice the uniform (she comes in after shift) and is just so proud and like, “damn. This is why I do what I do”. IDK.

2. When Matt can’t sleep or is really feeling his injuries he sometimes like to meditate using a particular brand of incense that he can only get from one particular shop. He likes shopping there, the owners are a sweet old couple who he and Foggy helped once. It’s difficult to come by and for a while Matt can’t get any anywhere, not even the internet. Foggy manages to get a hold of some (Matt had given it to him as a joke when Foggy said he couldn’t sleep, he used it once but didn’t really ‘feel it’) and he gives some to Matt at a time when he isn’t doing so good. Best damn sleep Matt’s gotten in weeks.

3. The father of the boy Matt rescued from the Russians puts a message of thanks out on social media that goes viral overnight. Matt comes into the office the next morning to find Karen and Foggy watching the video on YouTube. They insist he listens to it and Foggy describes all the body language and gestures in the video for him. This is why he does what he does.

So, what do you think? Just so cute. I love Daredevil so hard and being part of the Marvelverse opens up so many possibilities! Send me your headcanons! Please?

School time with the boys!
  • Eren: I have a feeling he'd do anything and everything to be the top student, except for bribery, of course. He may consciously or unconsciously suck up to the teacher just to get extra credit. I think he'd also be the type to nag you when you're not paying attention, even if he's competitive.
  • Armin: The quiet guy who minds his business. He can also be frustrating because he'd get perfect scores during seatworks, homeworks, and tests, but he "doesn't know how he did it". Armin might even promise you some answers during an exam, but in the end he'll ignore you because he's too busy thoroughly answering his paper.
  • Reiner: Doesn't matter what anyone else says; he's the loud guy who sits at the back with his loud friends, talking about how smashed or stoned (or both) they got last night. He'd talk about getting "some" later (tocoverupthefacthathehasthehotsforberty), and how he's a total ladies' man. When the teacher tells him to quiet down, he'd be snoring throughout the lecture, and he'd only wake up when a member of his posse smacks him with a book or when a teacher asks him to solve a problem on the board. Expect him to pester you during an exam for answers. He can actually be the Top 1 student, but he's just lazy.
  • Bertholdt: Introvert. That's all I can see when I imagine him as a student. Albeit being tall, he'd go unnoticed because he's in one corner, with his headphones on or while he's drawing (aboutdeathorsomethingcryptic). He'd get average grades. However, everyone would be shocked if ever he gets the highest score. I wouldn't know why. They just will.
  • Jean: He'd be the guy that would make you want to work harder in your studies. Is it because you're in love with him? Nope. You're going to get so tired of his honest asshole shit that you'd work harder to pass with flying colors just to spite him. He would also do the same, so you guys would have a neck-to-neck race on who tops the class.
  • Marco: He would definitely live up to his Freckled Jesus nickname. Student council president, class president, school organization president, president of the universe; just name it. Everyone in class would love and fawn over him, including the teachers and the parents' council! He's someone you'd want to compete against, however he's too sweet and you can't take that little pout he does whenever he finds out his grade is lower than what he wanted.
  • Connie: My God, he'd be the class clown. He'd make really immature and stupid yet witty jokes and puns during class, and you can see the teacher fuming but he'd still be laughing because damn, that was a good one! Surprisingly, he'd get higher grades than you.
  • Levi: Definitely the ice prince Asian high school dramas have warned you about. Despite his small stature, everyone would move away whenever he passes through the hallway. He's the guy that would get into petty debates or arguments with the teacher, and win. He'd be unpredictable in terms of academics. Sometimes he'd be a top student, and other times he'd be at the bottom.
  • Erwin: I can clearly see all the girls (andguys) fainting whenever he'd step out of his brand new BMW at the school's parking lot with that strong eyebrow game of his. He's Mr. Popular; all the boys and girls would wanna be around him and he throws awesome parties. He secretly is lagging in his studies because he pays too much attention to his social life, but that's a secret.

A/N: I’ll be posting this on ff.net, but figured I’d post it here too. Decided to get back into writing a bit until I go back to school so here’s some Miyusawa with this AU idea I saw on Tumblr: ‘Every Wednesday at the same damn time you’re at the same cereal aisle getting the same cereal brand and I’ve been trying to make a move on you for ages.’  - I will admit it was sort of hard writing this one because I make things hard on myself… lol

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