dammit-man-do-you-have-to

may-darling askedTHIS. Oh my god: ‘‘hey i’m sorry to bother you but i’m trying to convince my friends i’m a sex god so can you please write a fake number on this napkin for me real quick’ au OMG THIS IS SO BRILLIANT I CANT. Cas trying this approach because man Gabriel and Balthazar are a pain in the ass AND HE IS NOT STUCK UP DAMMIT. But he is babbling and awkward but Dean thinks it’s super adorable. Dean all flirty and suave writes his real number down and asks for a date *heart melts into a gooey puddle* 

Author’s note: I totally loved this prompt, but it got a little long. Oh well, what can you do. ;)

“Have another one, little bro.” Gabriel insisted as he put another round of shots on the table and pushed one in Castiel’s direction. “I’m going to remove that stick from your ass even if it is the last thing I do. Cheers!”

Castiel huffed indignantly, briefly glowering at his brother before his eyes dropped to the tiny glass filled with clear liquid. Doing shots? Not something Castiel enjoyed. Noisy, crowded bars such as this one? Definitely not the kind of place where Castiel preferred to spend his Saturday nights.

“You might as well give up on that already.” Balthazar, Gabriel’s best friend, commented dryly. “Cassie here is obviously a lost cause when it comes to having fun.”

“May I remind you two that I’m right here?” Castiel snapped, by now deeply regretting his decision to humor Gabriel for once by coming along.

Gabriel and Balthazar exchanged one of their typical looks, only to shrug simultaneously, a gesture that undoubtedly said ‘see if we care’.

Narrowing his eyes, Castiel downed the shot, if only to avoid any more aggravating comments. The liquid burned his throat in a way that he would describe as ‘deeply unpleasant’.

“Excellent.” Balthazar praised before downing his own.

Gabriel did the same, smirking as he put down his empty glass. “See, that wasn’t so hard. Was it, little bro?”

Castiel didn’t even have the energy to come up with any sort of verbal response; Gabriel kept talking anyway.

“And that was only the beginning…” Gabriel announced ominously, cocking an eyebrow at Castiel; the look on his face promised that nothing good was about to happen. “Next step… Getting you laid! You’re twenty-seven, it wouldn’t hurt you to get some action every once in a while.”

Balthazar nodded his agreement. “He’s right, you know. You’re not getting any younger, and it seems you’re having trouble getting some, if you get what I mean.”

“That’s because I’m not looking to ‘get laid’ or to ‘get some’.” Castiel retorted exasperatedly, wincing a little as he quoted Gabriel’s and Balthazar’s words. “If anything, I’m looking for a meaningful relationship with another person with whom I can share my life.”

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"Dean, no, we have to get going. We have to interview that one dude, remember? Now get dressed!"

i like to pretend i’d keep it together and play it cool if i ever actually met colin, but i’d actually just hyperventilate and fall over

dracarys-blackfyre asked:

God dammit, you post too much mass effect stuff. Makes me want To go back and play the games, but that'd mean getting out my Xbox, and finding the games, and PC MASTER RACE FTW. So wat do?

Follow your heart, of course.

And if you’re like a Krogan and you have multiple hearts, make your hearts fight each other to determine which is the heartiest, then follow it.

Stereotypical Bar Scene
  • Friend:you know those super stereotypical scenes with a woman in a bar walking into a bar doing a wave, wearing a red dress and high heels for no other fucking reason but to hang out into a bar and sitting alone on the bar, putting her little.. thing.. that little glowing purse on the table
  • Friend:and there's that after-shave douchebag 1 chair away
  • doing a one-gulp of tequilla and staring at the girl
  • and the girl takes a glimpse with her other eye covered by the hair dyed with brown and he sits next to the girl
  • Friend:and he goes something like: it's pretty rare to see such a beautiful lady like you in these places
  • Friend:woman: i guess we could skip the chitchat and buy me a drink? (weak laugh)
  • Friend:guy smiles but doesn't laugh. bartender is sweating on the forehead but insists shaking shit on the metallic mixer anyway and pours it on that abnormally thin glass. like it doesn't have 3 angles to be observable anymore
  • Friend:it's like fucking letter T glass. and some green ball shit hangin on the edge and the guy goes (cheers) with his normal beer and the scene skips to some random hotel, and on the hallway they're like kissing their way to the room
  • Friend:making out and shit, going to the elevator but there's some old lady on the elevator so they decide not to kiss and act like they're not mutual and when they get out of the elevator they make out again and turn on the lights of the room and take off everything on their bodies and just go to bed and just cover themselves on blankets with fucking flowers
  • Friend:the next day the guy is gone and the girl is bleeding on her stomach
  • Friend:her kidneys are gone
  • Friend:y'know shit like that
  • Me:well fuck

anonymous asked:

do you know any happy and cute bl anime that will override the pai NFULness of hybrid child?

No man, we’ll never be able to recover. 

Lol I kid, I kid. Hm…not sure if you’ve seen them (most probably you have) but there’s Love Stage, or of course, other works by Nakamura Shungiku-sensei, Junjou Romantica and Sekaiichi Hatsukoi.Unfortunately, we only have a limited supply of bl anime who have exceptional stories. There’s an upcoming one too, it’s Doukyuusei. I have read the first chapter and it does seem to be a fluff-filled series (not to mention I’ve heard good reviews about it).

Nintendo beats down live-action Zelda rumors.

Nintendo beats down live-action Zelda rumors.

Dammit man, Why you got to do this to me Nintendo? In a recent interview with Time, CEO Satoru Iwata totally obliterated our hopes of a live action Zelda series being developed for Netflix. “As of now, I have nothing new to share with you in regard to the use of our IPs for any TV shows or films, but I can at least confirm that the article in question is not based on correct information” says…

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anonymous asked:

thANK YOU SO MUCH YOU SAVED MY LIFE OH LORD my first line was "He was stunned - the stranger in front of him looked exactly like the man he'd been dreaming about" and i think that's rather adorable oh my god ; w; thank you again<3 anD SINCE IM HERE ALREADY, can you give me your top 5 ships in haikyuu so i will try to make one shots for each one? ;w;

oh that is cute omg im glad i could help! 

buT OMG YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THAT BUT THANK YOU OMG IM SQUEELING ID LOVE IT OMG uhm so my top 5 ships would be…

  1. daisuga
  2. kagehina
  3. kuroken
  4. oiiwa
  5. asanoya/tananoya i cant decide dammit hmph

i have a lot of ships for haikyuu that was difficult

thank you soooo very much you are glorious <3

disjointedthoughtprocess asked:

DO ALL THE ODDS i'm not sorry

God fucking dammit Emi

Oh well, who needs sleep anyway~

01: tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?

I mean we’re talking about me here, so there’s a lot of ???? But I was actually thinking about this today and I have no idea. I could totally spout all of their good qualities at the drop of a hat, but I don’t know when the feelings went from “Man I love this buddy of mine” to “Geeze I have some sort of awful squish/crush on this person!” If that makes any sense.

03: what was your last thought before going to bed last night?

I think it was something about Grantaire. Sometimes I imagine him cuddling me while I fall asleep because I get really cold and lonely all the time

05: what’s something you’re not looking forward to?

Group 4 Night. I’m so done with that whole awful experiment tbh.

07: have you kissed anybody in the last five days?

Never kissed anybody, period :)

09: kiss on the first date?

Sure, why not?

11: are you seriously happy with where you are in life?

Not at all.

13: what are three things you did today?

     A) Group 4 (I’m exhausted)

     B) QSA (Ask Me Anything went so long omg)

     C) Tumblr (I know, shocking)

15: what is your favorite kind of gum?

Watermelon!

17: what is on your wrists right now?

19: does anyone have strong feelings for you?

Well I mean, I know you, disjointedthoughtprocess, think I’m the bee’s knees :P But if we’re talking romantic, then there’s the anon that keeps sending me asks.

21: have you ever wasted your time on someone?

I don’t think so!

23: how have you felt today?

First I was super happy because of my imminent medical transition, then excited about Group 4, then irritated by Group 4, then excited about skipping the assembly with thorsawtonykissloki because I’m an incredible dork, then pretty chill since I was at QSA, and now I’m just tired.

25: what is wrong with you right now?

Besides all my mental disorders? I’m kinda overheated but don’t want to get rid of my PJs or my fluffy blankets!

27: would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now?

Starbucks, but only if it’s hot cocoa <3

29: how late did you stay up last night and why?

Like 10:30ish? I wanted to be well-rested for school :)

31: what were you doing an hour ago?

Eating dinner

33: are you wearing jeans right now?

Nope, shorts under a fluffy pink onesie XD

35: do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?

Hella

37: did you have a dream last night?

Yeah, I dreamed that I took pictures of the eclipse that happened today with my phone, then grew a bunch of insane facial hair. It was trippy

39: if someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be?

I assume you mean someone real? In which case…my crush/squish/whatever the heck they are person

41: if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?

YES!

43: are you afraid of falling in love?

I’m afraid of never falling in love

45: has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?

Yeah, a few times :) Once this gorgeous stranger walked up to me after I took a horrible standardized test and said “You have gorgeous eyes,” then walked away. I swear she was my fairy godmother or something!

Send me numbers!

primrooks replied to your post: Watching Delgo for a third freaking time! (not…

why you gotta do this to yourself man @A@

Ok, here some serious thoughts on Delgo!

No, really, hear me out (don’t run away!).

Re-watching this movie for the third time made me realise how much it actually fascinates me…not with what it is, but with what it could have been. Seriously, look at the concept art I’ve found on Delgo Wiki (yes, there’s a Delgo Wiki):

These actually look pretty cool! In fact, this movie would have benefitted a lot if it had been 2D-animated. At least they would have avoided the “uncanny valley” problem. Also it surprises me how much this movie was advertised as a “forbidden romance” despite the fact that our “lovers” barely have any screen time together. Seriously, Delgo has more chemistry with Bogardus! (who’s the most interesting character here tbh) In fact, most part of the movie is talking about politics (what is this, Game of Thrones?) and boring philosophy (”Luke Delgo, you must learn to control the force stones”). The villain looks interesting, but the movie didn’t give her any motivation aside from being evil and wanting power and revenge.

So I’m not trying to defend this movie anyhow - the characters are bland and forgettable, the animation is terrible, the plot is too complicated, comic reliefs are annoying as hell - in other words, this movie tried too hard to look “epic” and cool…and this is why it failed so hard. But at least you can see that whoever did this were trying to make a good movie… until something went wrong. Maybe this movie is just another victim of the “executive meddling” (remember what happened to “The Thief and the Cobbler”?)…or maybe they just spent all the money on the celebrity actors (the voice acting is actually pretty good tbh)? We’ll never know.

So, yeah, now I have this horrible fascination with this movie (help me!) and kinda feel sorry for it…but it’s still better to watch it drunk for the first time, lol^^

forgive your dad


I never played the game so idk I might get his personality or anything wrong AND THIS IS NOT STH CUTE I’M SO SORRY BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIA //HUGS DAUGHTER//
DAD IS SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT OKIE CHUU U

Old man, this is absolutely stunning! When I first saw this I laughed out loud WHYHEISSOCUTE, SINCE WHEN HE EVER SMILES I MUST HAVE IT. OLD MAN THANK YOUUU (✿´w`)//
IF ITS ANYTHING FROM OLD MAN I MIND IF THEY ARE OCC BUT DANG THOSE LONG EYELASHES, BLESS THE SUN GOD! WHY CAN’T THIS BE CANONNNNnnNnNn

Old man thank you for the late LATE present and thank you for not charging me and thank you for drawing this pathetic Ivlis, Thank you// v\! *HUGS YOU TIGHTLY, Homu receives back pains* 

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verwilderte asked:

Send me a 웃 for my muse to do a terrible impression of yours.
verwilderte

    “God, okay. Out of all people I have to do the one with the lung capacity of a Titan.” Levi thought for a moment; how was he going to pull this off? Admittedly, Eren had quite a hard disposition to replicate. Clearing his throat, the man’s voice came out higher than his much deeper one, and more rough and caught around the edges.

    “I’m Eren and DAMMIT you just need to let me shoulder EVERYTHING! I can do it all if you just SHUT UP. I’ll shoulder the fucking Colossal Titan and the King’s fatass too! FUCK!” Well, that had been his first impression of the kid.

    “Ne, Eren, you do that weird grumbling thing like: Ugh, I’m not gonna give up, hit me again, we’ll train all night, non-stop, no sleep, fuck food, let’s fight, ragh.”

    “And then there’s: Yes Captain! Of course Captain! You’re so cool and rugged, Captain! You’re my hero and someday, I’ll be just like you but taller obviously. Insert intense, motivated smiling and gleaming eyes here.”

    The male regarded the other with a calm expression, the smallest hint of a smile in his eyes, figuring he’d finished teasing Eren for now. 

“Obviously, I can’t forget about:

    But I’m a good kid, with a good heart and the determination of a stubborn mule and someday I’m going to make everyone’s lives better. I’m extremely compassionate and hardworking and even though I let my temper get in the way of my shit, I’m a pretty cool guy with fluffy hair.”

acoda-ia replied to your post “Rene x Acoda”

BECAUSE MUN IS A BAD MANNNNNNNN ( bap voice) and put her on so many hiatus lately. SHE STILL IS A WITCH. JUST A DEMON WITCH IF THAT MAKES SENSE HEH HEH. and not a cliche demon either. ANYWAYS I still ship them in a cannon way forever so-

But a demon is a demon and a witch is a witch! You can’t be both!!! Yes, I am the kid in the sandbox that tells the other kids how to play with their toys but dammit you’re doing it wrong!! xD she was perfect and René wanted to bang her so.bad and then you.. made her gross! XD He hates demons! Witches he thinks are just a bit weird and possibly dangerous but that would have made for some AMAZING sex… and I am not comfortable rping straight sex as the man but I was so looking forward to it! T.T

Aaaaaah just watched the fosters and just gaaah. Ok I saw the lena and monte thing coming. I dont like it but at least its not one of those lesbian cheating with a man things tv likes to do (coughkidsarealrightcough). Yaaay jude and conner have a label and gave me cute fluffy first relationship feels! And holy shit that crash and knowing that someone died and j.t. austin isnt going to be on next season dammit! They had it all set up for him to go to boarding school. When will tv learn you dont have to kill a character off to gt rid of them. Of course its possible anna or mariana or even just the other driver died and jesus is still going to boarding school. But its abc family so probably gonna be jesus dead.

But damn the second half of this season really got me back into the show. Im really finally getting past the fact that its abc family and all its crazy teen drama.