Send me a ship and I’ll tell you:
who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave
Naruto. He likes to hold “competitions” to see whose peep will explode first. Hinata humors him, but he has to clean up.
who forgot to put the cat outside before sex
Naruto. Though it’s not the cat that’s the problem, but Kurama, who is far too nosy and voyeuristic for Naruto’s liking.
who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit
Hinata. Technically they’re home videos, but they somehow mysteriously leak to the internet.
who breaks the most phones
Naruto. They’re too small for his hands, dammit, why can’t they make them like Nokia anymore.
who dies first
Hinata, of old age. And then Naruto cries big, awful, heartrending crocodile tears and breaks all of us into tiny little pieces.
which one I could see as being lactose intollerant
Hinata. I can see her with several different food allergies, and Naruto accidentally putting something in her ramen that she’s allergic to, followed by complete disastrous panic and a visit to Sakura at the hospital.
who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t
Naruto. He loves his new laptop for office work, but often forgets how to use its basic functions and has to ask Hinata or Shikamaru to help him. Later on, Himawari will be a whiz with technology.
who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed
Hinata. But if Naruto gets too crazy in his sleep, she just hits a couple of tenketsu and then he sleeps like a baby for the rest of the night.
who uses the computer most
Naruto uses it more for work, but Hinata actually knows how to use it.