dammit betty

reasons why i ??? b*ghead


Jughead in the first 6 episodes: 

  • sarcastic af
  • friendships???
  • emo but not too emo
  • m u s i c
  • bein smart n shit mr. mini holmes
  • unhelpful yoda
  • has a life outside of Betty Cooper
  • ugh ppl suck i hate interacting w/ them except the Andrews (。◕‿‿◕。) 

vs when he became Betty’s love interest:

  • self-harm joke???
  • what are friendships
  • E M O
  • what are headphones
  • why investigate ur own leads when u got ur nancy drew gf to control it all 4 u?
  • what’s sardonic i am a butterfly
  • why follow thru helping ur fren w/ post-statutory rape when u gOT A GF??
  • ??????????????

Betty in the first 6 episodes:

  • cheerleading
  • all the gr8 friendships
  • Kevin
  • Veronica
  • Archie
  • being there for her classmates
  • actual family stuff
  • K e v i n

vs when Jughead became her love interest:

  • who needs anything but Jughead and m y s t e r i e s
  • what are friendships
  • Kevin whoo??
  • Veronica where????
  • what’s an Archie??
  • idk lemme just chew out my mom 24/7 and occasionally smile at Polly 
  • wait relationships of any kind existed before Jughead???
  • new phone who dis
A Bughead Drabble

Slight warnings again: Smut again because I’m trying to get some practice in. Also, this is for Mother’s Day, this is a warning because I don’t know. Bughead in a parenting situation. Don’t read if you hate parents! lol


I can feel it in the back of my throat.

I feel the numbness in my veins.

The quiet-loud running through the room, barely moving.

We were barely moving, I can feel it in my skin.

Crawling and eating at me.

Yelling in my face, quick flicks of a fist against my cheeks.

A tingle in my hands, fingertips.

She was calling-clawing at me.

I want her too. I want to call back, smooth over her.

Just one touch will quit the spinning of my head and I could whisper in her ear, every thing I could do to her, right here, right now in our bed. Against the natural wood floors and hands locking wrists above us.

I needed chaos and loud screaming, scratching of her nails along me, nails trying to dig into the wood. I needed fervour as she repeated my name, over and over and over again. So many times it might feel like my name didn’t belong to me – foreign.

Escape.

I wanted an escape.

Worry creeps up my back; she has her fingers dancing on my neck, I want to ease into Worry’s touch but I can’t. Worry had been a little quieter than usual this week. Worry had forgotten to eat a couple of meals. Worry smiled briefly at the flowers blooming at the front of our house. Worry tried hard with the kids homework but forgot how to spell ‘simplicity’.

I pull in the air cautiously through my teeth and the vanilla tastes sweet on my tongue. She had taken to wearing lily scented body spray that barely disguised her. She was all vanilla-candy and deep etched frowns this week. She was wearing it well, she often did. My nose hurts a little with the vanilla laced oxygen that makes it feel similar to fire inside of me. I smell like wet trees and dirt.

I focus on the breathing and the fire inside; I let Worry’s fingers keep dancing on my neck and then down across my bare shoulders, I feel her hips knock my backside, over and over again. I inhale, exhale, I let her take the lead. She needs this; I need this. I think I need it more than the oxygen filled with candy.

It’s glowing blue and purple with a little red before dawn. The air feels slick and frosty and smells a  little bit like damp leaves – morning dew.

That was what she was at the moment, all morning dew and a little damp.

I breathe in again, slower, steadier, with more purpose, I feel I could drift off in the comfort of these clinically white sheets and feathered pillows that were so light, just like her touch against my skin as she trails down my spine, nails dancing.

She brings on the thunder, the lightening, the summer sun and almost-morning light. If I were any more stupid, I would believe she created the warmth of laughter and the feeling of acceptance.

I feel the bed shift quickly and before I know it, she’s pushing on my right shoulder, forcing me to move on to my back, she hovers over me.

Keep reading

Brain: Susie, we are not going to get queerbaited ever again. 

Me: But–

Brain: EVER. AGAIN.

Me: But they’re kissing–

Brain: You KNOW that’s just a publicity thing! It’s the CW! Remember what happens to their gay/queer-coded characters?

Me: What about Darryl from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend?

Brain: That’s a fluke! 

Me: …

Brain: …Susie, no.

Me: ….

Brain: SUSIE.

Me: ………

Brain: WE ARE NOT GOING TO GET QUEERBAITED BY ARCHIE!!

Me: *sets up TV to record Riverdale*

Brain: God dammit Susie.

anonymous asked:

betty crocker is the condesce's humansona she ships it with colonel sassacre and they are PERFECT HUMAN FAMILY children why are u running away this isnt how it would happen on alternia, dammit

betty crocker’s matesprit is every single big burly man who is funny!!!!!! her kismesis is jesus