damien stop that

Lemme, um, get at that.

Hard Daps.

Who Killed Markiplier: An Alternate Ending

Damien: I’m gonna be straight with you. I need your body.

Me: Take me to dinner first! ᴴᵃʰᵃ ᵍᵒᵗ ‘ᵉᵐˑ Okay, but really, what for?

Damien: I don’t know. I don’t really have a plan. I’m just in the mood for some supernatural revenge, I guess.

Me: Neat.


Me: Wait, who are we getting revenge on?

Damien: Mark. 

Me: Did he make fun of your keg stand?

Damien: Well, yeah, but I didn’t mind that so much. He was just jealous. It was an excellent keg stand.

Me: It really was.

Damien: My main problem is that he took over my body, and then shoved my spirit into his old body, which was never as good as mine, but is now extremely not as good as mine, because it’s borked.

Me: Hm. Wow. That is the exact opposite of neat. It’s unneat, if you will.

Damien: I won’t.

Me: Too late. Anyway, that’s a pretty good reason. You can have the body. Just fill ‘er up before you bring it back, and don’t be out past midnight. 

Damien: I’ll be back by 11:30.

Me: You glorious, punctual rapscallion, you. Drive safe.

[End scene]


the penumbra podcast; sir damien

o saint damien, you of patience, of calm, of the quiet waves and gentle breeze, grant me your tranquility–the strength to wait while i must, to let the world flow through me–and to strike when the time is right