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…Damian “Don’t Patronize Me or I’ll Break Your Face” Wayne in teeny tiny shorts and his friend’s shirt that is too big may be the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

(from Superman #21 preview by Tomasi, Gleason, Gray, and Kalisz)

Damian: *is fighting with Bruce, threatens to quit* 

Jason: *starts laughing* 

Damian: What? 

Jason: Dude, nobody quits being Robin 

Damian: What? But didn’t you quit? 

Jason: No, stupid, I died 

Damian: Fine, then Grayson. He quit to become Nightwing 

Dick: Um, actually Bruce fired me 

Damian: What about Drake? 

Tim: Nope, Dick stole the title from me and gave it to you 

Damian: Oh. But didn’t you quit while Brown was Robin? 

Tim: My dad forced me to, so it doesn’t count 

Damian: *hmphs* Then Brown, at least? 

Steph: Sorry, I was fired too 

Damian: Fine. Then I’ll just be the first to quit! 

Jason: *laughs* Nah, sorry kid, not gonna happen. You’ll probably either get fired or killed again, and I’ve got fifty bucks on the line for the latter 

Damian: *pales* Father? 

Bruce: *has conveniently disappeared* 

The first time Damian gets kidnapped as Bruce Wayne's son

Thugs over video feed: “Okay man, just remember you have 24 hours to deliver the money or else the kid dies 

Bruce: "All right, but first I just want to talk to him please I need to know my little baby is okay *wipes away very convincing Fake Tear™* 

*camera pans to Damian, who’s tied to a chair but seems totally chill with the situation and even gives an evil grin when he sees Bruce* 

Bruce (yelling dramatically): "OH NO MY DARLING CHILD ARE YOU OKAY??”

Bruce (furiously whispering): “Don’t you dare hurt them do you hear me young man" 

"DID YOU GET BOO BOOS?? DO YOU HAVE ANY BROKEN BONES?? OH MY GOD DID THEY TOUCH YOU DID THEY STEAL YOUR INNOCENCE REMEMBER NO MEANS NO DAMIAN YOU NEED TO FIGHT BACK AND STAY STRONG UNTIL WE COME RESCUE YOU OKAY" 

"If you try to fight back at all I swear to god you’re grounded for a month when you get back" 

"WHAT KIND OF MONSTER COULD KIDNAP A CHILD YOU HEARTLESS FIENDS CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S JUST A BOY" 

"Please don’t kill them" 

An average day at Wayne Manor

Bruce: *sitting and reading the newspaper* 

*suddenly hears a crash and some screaming from upstairs* 

*footsteps running back and forth on the ceiling*  

Dick: Bruuuuuuce!!!!

*another crash and some muffled grunting* 

Jason: Don’t listen to him, Bruce, everything is fine!!!

*some more muffled cursing and punches*

Damian: This is all your fault, Todd!!!

Tim: For the love of god, somebody put out the fire!!!!

*more running* 

Steph: I got it!!!

*the sounds of a pipe bursting* 

*more screaming and cursing* 

Dick: Bruuuce!!! Call the fire department!!!

Tim: Screw that, call the Justice League!!! Damian’s on fire!!!

*more screaming* 

Bruce: *takes a sip of tea* I hate my life

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As a way to thank all of you for your support I am having a sticker giveaway❣️ :)

You have to reblog this post in order to enter, the giveaway will end on May 24th, the same day the stickers will be available for sale in my store :)

Thank you all so much again for your support❣️

  • Tim: I'm not Batman. I have friends.
  • Ra's: You sure about that?
  • Tim: Yeah! Like Conner.
  • Ra's: He died.
  • Tim: Oh yeah. Well what about Bart?
  • Ra's: He died too
  • Tim: Lonnie?
  • Ra's: Coma
  • Tim: Steph?
  • Ra's: Faked her death without telling you and now you can't trust her
  • Tim: *scratches head* Well I guess I still have my siblings-
  • Ra's: Two of them hate you and the other one has no time for you
  • Tim: ...
  • Tim: ...
  • Tim: ...
  • Tim: Okay but at least I'm still not Batma-
  • Ra's: Out of all your siblings you are the one most similar to Batman in skill, emotional distance, intelligence, and traumatic experience
  • Tim: *cries and stomps away in frustration*