damian food

Alfred still punishes all the Bat kids like normal kids and it works. Like “Jason put your gun away or no dessert for you.” Or “Damian until you can learn to use your words to talk I am taking away your katana.” Or “ Master Tim I am taking your Red Bull and all other caffeine, now go to bed. It is 4am the morning and the 3rd night you haven’t slept.” And none of the kids ever dare argue with him because they know they can get around Bruce, but no one dares cross Alfred. Roll with this for me.


anonymous asked:

please give us more batfam acting like a family

jdkdjd now i cant remember anything and im formatting on mobile chrome so sorry for the mess but ok listen

[Dick, via comms, sounding desperate] ROBIN, ARE YOU STILL NEAR MY HOUSE? 

[Damian, alarmed] YES


  • and when Damian arrives, bursts through the window, batarang in hand ready to kick ass, he finds Dick in bed, in a blanket burrito watching tv.

“Dami can you please turn off the lights and close the door.”

Damian sighs irritated. Throws the batarang at the light switch. Kicks closed the door.

“Thank you Dami my beautiful baby brother that i would die for, can you~”

“I am not getting you food from the kitchen, goodbye grayson”


  • they used to spit into a drink or lick food to stop a sibling from eating it.. (jason and Cass used to eat/drink that shit anyways while staring at you dead in the eye… Tim used to do it ONLY with Cass’ food and sometimes Dick’s…) but now they don’t even care.. all 6 of them share a lollipop while in the batplane (because cass found only one in her pocket and Bruce insisted they either share it or no one would eat it, to avoid fighting) (yes, even duke, who at first was also disgusted with them but now he’s like *shrug* pass me the licked food damian)




  • also

“Todd. I need a favor.”

 "Uh uh. “

 ”… Could you please help me with this videogame level..“

  • “That’s enough that’s enough give me back the-that’s ENOUGH LET ME PLAY TODD-FATHER!!!!”

“Cass are those my clothes”

 ”.. They fit”


 "will not!!! And you let Kon wear my shirt and now it’s too big for me!“ 

“First it’s not my fault he thought that was mine and you always let Stephanie wear my stuff I leave at your house too!!“ 

  • [everyone watching a movie together] [a character with a really ugly haircut appears] “DICK WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US YOU WERE IN A MOVIE" 

“Hey dick, Wally is on the phone" 

"ugh I’m not in the mood tell him I’m sleeping or someth-”

 ”[on phone] he’s right here I’ll pass him the phone" 

“I know where you live Timoth-hey Wally whatsup man!”

  • “I’m gonna shower!” [cass, thrown over the sofa playing with Tim’s laptop, clearly not intending to get up any time soon] “no wait I was gonna shower!!“ 


"it wasn’t me!!" 


  • everytime one of them is getting lectured by Bruce the others try to make them crack up.. please… 

“is there something funny about throwing a mug at your brother, Tim?" 


  • they steal each others stuff all the time just to be annoying and put the blame on each other…

“I left my phone right here where is it.." 

[everyone sniggering] 

"c'mon guys!! Who was it??”

[more sniggering] 












[screams, trying to wrestle the house phone from Dick’s hand, kicking, biting, spiting]

 [finally cass, who has been watching everything go down from afar, comes forwards a drops the phone in dicks chest] “here”

  • movie nights… are a mess…. they always complain about each other’s movie taste and end up watching a movie picked by bruce so they won’t fight… aka a boring ugly mess and they spend the whole movie glaring at each other like “this is your fault!!”

[bruce, in the batcave] “Jason would you call Damian, I need to verify-”

 “yeah sure… [not even looking up from phone] DAMIAN!!!!” 


[from afar] “WHAT DO YOU WANT TODD” 



  • and that’s all I have now.. let me think for a while and I might make a part 2..

Jason Todd is the type of dude who takes vitamins religiously and comes up with nutritious meal planning (with the help of Alfred) at least once a month. Damian pretends to only like coming over to Jason’s apartment to see the two stray cats Jason took in (and he denies they are his cats even though totally feeds them every night and lets him inside when it’s cold), but really it’s because good god Jason makes a damn good vegan roasted vegetable pesto. And if he is too tired to return to the cave and falls asleep on Jason’s surprisingly comfortable plush couch, the coconut milk fruit smoothies in the morning are just a bonus.

Batfamily x Reader - Warrior (Pt 1)


Requested: no

Song: none

Word Count: 1471


It was humid and dark outside around 3:30 am at Wayne manor, no stars shown through the thick clouds and smog. You would think that when it’s humid, the air would smell fresh and clean, but not here. The air smelled stale and compressed, like it was trying to suffocate you, but didn’t put in enough effort to actually succeed.

The house was quiet and dark, empty and silent. The halls were eerily quiet and no shadows were cast on the walls because the moon was buried deep behind the seemingly millions of layers of smoke. It was pitch black and silent, except for one room. The light in your bathroom was on and barely audible cries came out muffled through your hands as you sat on the floor next to the sink.

A razor covered in thick, red, fresh, blood sat in the sink along with all of your soul, poured out of your body with your blood, as well as your will to live, and by the bottle of pills spilled all over the floor, you already knew this, yet the house stayed silent, as if it was holding its breath, awaiting your next move.

Keep reading

Sick day

request: yes

request/plot: If requests are still open can I send in one where batmom(reader) is sick and batfam takes care of her. Just generally fluffy and funny please. Thank you!

Word count: 917

warning(s): none

Tagging: no one. I don’t feel like tagging people

Key: abn= son ummi= mom

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How do you think Damian introduced Goliath to the Batfam?

Probably made introducing him to the family plan #2, while plan #1 was trying to hide him from them under his bed or something smh.

Damian: *laying casually on his bed with 10 feet big Goliath under the bed trying really hard (and failing miserably) to not be seen*

Alfred: *drop his tray of food*

Damian: “yes Pennyworth? how may I help you?

Alfred: ” m-m-master Damian……is that…a monster under your bed?”


Damian: ”I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed Pennyworth”

Damian Wayne/Robin X Reader-What do you mean?

Thank you @juanchachi for requesting!! I changed a few things and I hope you like it! 

“What do you mean, ‘I can’t go to the party’?  I have attended many of your galas before and I do not understand why I cannot join you to another?” asked Damian.

His father sighed and said, “This is very important for Wayne Enterprises and your brothers are not able to come.  They usually are the ones who watch over you during these events, but since thy are not here, you are staying here with Alfred.”

“Why do you keep treating me like a child?!?” Damian shouted.

He grit his teeth and walked away, hoping not to break anything fragile during their fight.  He clenched and unclenched his hands while traveling up the stairs.  Titus was by his side in an instant and nudged his hand.  Damian looked at his companion and smiled.  Titus could always calm him down whenever he was in a mood and he was thankful for that.  Alfred watched the youngest of the family stomp up the stairs with Titus in tow.  He looked over to Bruce and shook his head.

“He needs a companion other than Titus, Master Bruce.  Do you think we can contact him and ask to drop her off?  They are around the same age and will have to get to know each other eventually.”

“I know.  I’m just worried that he will scare her off,” Bruce said.

“If I know Miss (Y/N) correctly, she will be the one who scares him away,” Alfred said with a slight smirk crawling onto his face.

Bruce laughed and shook his head, “I think she has spent too much time with him if she’ll scare Damian.  I’ll call him and ask if he can drop her off before patrol before I leave for the party.”

“I’ll go fetch the camera.”


“What do you mean, ‘I have to go spend time with the Demon’?  Are you trying to sentence me to death?” you asked your dad.

“I know that he’s a pain in the ass, but you’re gonna have to deal with him until Bruce finishes playing ass-kisser at the party,” your dad said with a gruff voice.

“And what will you be doing while I’m going to the first annual Wayne Hunger Games?” you questioned while folding your arms.


“I could be out there with you and make life so much easier.”

He rolled his eyes and threw you over his shoulders, “You’re going and that’s final.  If you even think about escaping the manor Alfred will contact me, and I will drag your sorry ass back there.  Do you really want to have a bad first impression?”

You laughed and said, “I’ll give him hell.”

“That’s my girl!!”


Your dad had driven you to the manor on his motorcycle.  You had your bag packed with all of the necessities: clothing, weapons, back-up weapons, a taser, two cellphones, random supplies and some books.  Isn’t that what everyone needs when seeing a Damian Wayne in the wild??  

“Welcome, Miss (Y/N).  It’s wonderful to see you again,” Alfred said with his heartwarming smile.

You smiled and ran up to hug him, “It’s nice to see you again too, Alfie.”

He chuckled and waved to your father, who just nodded and drove back to the city.  You watched him travel down the road until you could no longer see him.  Alfred then guided you through the entrance and into the kitchen where a wonderful aroma was coming from.

“Did you make cookies?” you squealed.

Alfred chuckled and nodded.  He grabbed the plate and offered.  You grabbed the one on the top and bit into the sugary goodness they call a cookie.  

“You gotta give me this recipe.  Dad can cook, but he can never replicate your cookies,” you said while grabbing another cookie.

“As long as you don’t give it to Master Grayson I will,” he responded.
“Awesome!!” you shouted.

“Who is this Pennyworth?” a voice asked behind you.

You turned around and saw Damian Wayne standing at the entrance of the kitchen with a scowl on his face.  You heard a bark and felt something bump into your hip.  You looked down and saw a dog nudging you.  You smiled and scratched behind his ears.  He licked your face and walked to Damian’s side.  You laughed and wiped the slobber off of your face with your jacket.  

“I’m (Y/N).  It’s nice to meet ya,” you said while holding your hand out.

He looked at your hand and walked passed you.  You dropped your hand to the side and frowned.  You knew that he was a ‘Demon’ from your dad, but you finally get why they call him that.

“Jerk face,” you muttered under your breath while grabbing another cookie.

“I will leave you two alone then,” Alfred said and walked off, abandoning you in the kitchen with an asshole and his adorable dog.

“I hope that father didn’t adopt another sob story,” Damian said.

You whipped your head toward his direction and said, “Excuse me?  Listen here you shit stain, your father did not adopt me or pick me off from the streets.  I happen to live happily with my badass dad and have respect for those I have around me.  Before you say anything from that shitty mouth of yours, how about you stop your judging and actually get to know the person you spoiled ass.”

You grabbed the plate of cookies and walked out of the kitchen.  Damian just stood there with a horrified expression painted on his face.   He never expected that colorful of a vocabulary from someone his age.  Titus nudged his side and walked out of the kitchen.  He scowled once again at the thought of you stealing his companion.

Saying you were pissed was an understatement.  He did not have the right to assume you were just another sob story that was taken off of the streets by his father.  You weren’t trying to overreact, but your anger got the best of you.  You sat on the very comfortable and expensive couch in the living room and ate Alfred’s cookies while watching your favorite movie and scratching Titus’ ears and head.  He was nuzzled to your side and rested his head on your lap.  You wondered how a nice dog could belong to the bag of dicks that was in the other room.
“Titus!  What are you doing?  I hope you are not feeding him those diabetic disks that you call food,” Damian said while walking up to you and Titus.

“Yes.  I’m feeding your dog Alfred’s most delicious cookies in the world that I only get to have every few months,” you said sarcastically while returning your attention to the movie.

“Your sarcasm is not appreciated, brat,” he hissed.

“Are we starting the name calling game? I have a lot of great ideas for your names and I don’t think you’ll want to hear most of them,” you said while smirking, “assbutt.”

Damian’s face went from angry to confused.  You tried to hold it in, but you bursted out laughing, stood up, and walked to the kitchen to return the plate.  Even if Damian is not friendly, he’ll be fun to mess around with until your dad comes to get you.

“Who is this?” Damian asked while holding your locket.

Your eyes widened and raced to take it out of his hands.  He held his hand high, but you knew how to win this game.  You turned around and walked away, but turned back around and tackled him to the ground.  You pried his hand open, took the locket and put it back on your neck.

“You had no right to take this,” you said while leaning up against the counter and shoving another one of Alfred’s cookies in your mouth.

“Who is in the locket?” he asked once again.

“My dead family. You happy now?”

You took another cookie from the second plate and ate it.  You didn’t like to talk about your old family because it brought up too many memories.

“What happened?” he asked.

“My parents and siblings were murdered five years ago and my grandfather died due to natural causes a year later.”

“Did they get the murderer?”

“Why were you talking about your father earlier?  I thought you said that he was-”

“My adoptive dad you idjit.”

“I’m sorry.”


“I’m sorry that I said those things to you.  It was irrational and unfair to you.”

“Apology some-what accepted,” you said while smirking.

“I guess that will suffice.  Where did you learn to fight like that?” he asked.

“My grandfather was a boxer and he taught me everything he knew before he passed.  I also took many self defense classes because of my parents, but I perfected most of it while I lived on the streets and when I was adopted by my dad,” you said while pulling yourself up on the counter.

“Did you look up to him?”

“Yup.  He was my role model and basically took care of me when my parents couldn’t, which was all of the time,” you said while faintly smiling.

“How did you meet your adoptive father?” he asked.

“I busted into his apartment and tried to steal some food.  He tried to stop me from leaving and received a fist to the face.  If his friend wasn’t there he would’ve been knocked out on the floor with a nasty headache.  He gave me some more food while he asked me how long I’ve been on the streets and offered for me to stay awhile.  That was about three years ago.”

“Maybe we do have some things in common,” he said.

“Care to explain?”

“I was raised by my mother and grandfather and I looked up to him like you did to your grandfather.  Now I live with my father and Alfred.  They saved me from a very dark future.”

You nodded, “I guess if I never ran into my dad I would become a criminal and get my ass kicked by you and your father.”
Damian’s eyes widened, “You know about that?”

You rolled your eyes, “Of course I do.  Do you even know who my dad is?”


You smirked and said, “Better not ruin the surprise then.”


“Miss (Y/N), your father has arrived,” Alfred said.

You smiled while jumping out of the couch and running to the entrance.  He was talking with Alfred while you jumped on him and gave him a hug.

“You didn’t miss me too much did ya?” he asked.



You looked behind you and saw Damian with a shocked expression on his face.  You and your dad laughed.  

“Did he do anything?” Jason asked while glancing at Damian.

“Yup but I used by colorful vocabulary and everything turned out well.”

He held out a fist and you bumped it.  You let go of him and dropped yourself on the ground.

“Go get your stuff.  Roy is at home with a bunch of junk food and over fifty movies, so get your stuff and let’s get out of here.”

You squealed and ran off to the kitchen to grab your bag and pack all of Alfred’s cookies.  Jason watched you run out of the room before glaring at Damian.

“If you ever hurt her, physically or mentally, I will kill you slowly and make sure they will never find your body.  Not even Bruce will be able to find you.  She will be visiting more often due to me being out on missions and you better not do anything again.  You got it?”
Damian gulped and nodded.  

“I got everything!! Let’s go!!” you shouted.

“Bye (Y/N)!” Damian shouted.

“Bye Damian!” you shouted.

Alfred put a hand on Damian’s shoulder and said: “Be thankful she did not overreact when you said all of those things to her.  Master Tim was not as lucky as you when he first met her.”

anonymous asked:

the batboys and jealousy head cannons?

Romantic Jealousy:

-Bruce gets very very cold towards anyone, including his s/o. He doesn’t know how to voice how he feels so he tries to get everyone to not want to talk to him, which can result in arguments with his s/o (which he then needs to apologize for and hesitantly explain why he acted like he did)

-Dick has faith that his s/o would never cheat on him, especially if someone kind of sleazy is hitting on them. He will, however,drape an arm around their shoulders or wrap it around their waist, basically try to maintain physical contact and assert that he’s with his s/o so that everyone knows not to even try to hit on his s/o

-Jason gets really angsty because he definitely has self-worth insecurity and looks down on himself, so he gets mopey and self-deprecating. It’s kind of up to his s/o to bring him out of this mood and tell him that none of the things he seems to think about himself aren’t true. He won’t hesitate to fight someone though if he thinks that they’re getting too too close.

-Tim tends to get depressed and think that maybe his s/o would be better off with someone else while he begins to think about all of the things he does “wrong” in life. His s/o would have to remind him that they willingly chose to date him and that even if any of the things he thought were remotely true, they would still stay by him to the end of the earth

- Duke would get kind of quiet and try to act like it doesn’t bother him that his s/o is getting hit on or anything. Sometimes people don’t realize that he’s jealous, but his s/o will notice that he’s not as effervescent and give him a peck on the cheek and squeeze his hand to reassure him


- Damian gets jealous if someone monopolizes time with his family, say, at galas and he’ll shoot dirty looks and give mean comments to get the aforementioned offender away from him and whatever family member they’re swarming around. This happens often with girlfriends and boyfriends. Just friends in general.

-Tim sometimes gets jealous if people have really good food that he can’t have and he’ll do the longing side eye that people do, especially in restaurants and when it’s his siblings’ food

-Damian also gets jealous if someone else gets praise and he isn’t commended at all for his efforts, even if they did the same thing. He feels that his efforts go entirely unnoticed while someone else gets all the glory, which leads to his fuming internally but composed and cold on the outside

-Dick gets jealous when he thinks people are choosing to leave him behind and go to someone else, especially when it’s his close friends. His jealousy will often turn to melancholy reminiscence when he realizes that he can’t prevent or change what people do (even if he’s completely wrong and nobody is leaving him)

-Jason gets jealous and angry when people beat him in competitions, even if it’s something totally meaningless like who can get the most high scores on an arcade machine. Cue him being really pissy and shunning whoever he was competing with

-Duke gets jealous when someone gets something that he wants (ie nerdy merch, a cool book, etc.) and he’ll kind of hint that “oh hey, that’s cool. Did you just get it? Can I look at it?” until they get that he wants to borrow it for a while (he usually gives it back. Usually)

Damian Wayne/ Robin X Reader- The Next Bruce Lee (Part 2)

Part 1

Warning: Descriptions of injuries, swearing

Groaning, you slapped your hand on your face, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.  You frowned when you felt bandages attached to your face.  Sitting up slightly, you threw the blanket covering you off, shocked to find more bandages covering your body.  Looking around the room, you noticed that you weren’t in your room, not even in Pete’s or the recovery room where badly injured fighters usually go.  The room was very formal for your taste, which confused you even more.  Hissing in pain, you sat up even more, agitating your wounds. 

“What the hell happened?” you asked yourself, rubbing your temples.

Keep reading

Coffee Date

Relationship: older!Damian Wayne x Reader

Summary: You and Damian got stuck in an airport because the flights were SO VERY delayed and it’s not like you were going anywhere.

Key: Y/N= your name, L/N= your last name

“Mom, the flight got delayed again,” you complained over the phone. “I know right! Well I don’t know when I’ll be in, but start Christmas stuff without me. No, I insist! Love you too, bye-bye.”

You slipped further into your incredibly uncomfortable chair. You couldn’t believe your flight had been delayed for another two hours. You watched as the people who were supposed to be on your plane called their families as well.

“Well, Pennyworth, please just tell father. Yes, it is a disaster especially since father couldn’t send his. And Alfred, thank you.” You over heard a boy on his phone. He sounded so sad. Not wanting to intrude on this stranger’s life, you went back to your own phone and began to text your other family, explaining you wouldn’t be there in time for Christmas Eve dinner.

Damian was pissed off to say the least. He was halfway across the country with no way to get back to Gotham, except public transportation and that was getting him no where. He wanted to curse and shout, but that would also get him no where.

He began to look around at those who were also in his shoes. Everyone looked either sad or angry. He saw a couple on a video call,  a business man cooing into his phone, and a girl texting someone. Yeah, this was the worst holiday he guessed everyone had ever experienced.

Damian sulked in his seat and debated going to get food, taking a nap, or reading. He began to pull out his book when he caught sight of the girl who had been texting getting up. As she stood, her phone fell off her lap. She didn’t seem to notice and she stalked over to the restaurants that lined the hall. Damian watched her go and figured she wasn’t coming back for it, based on how focused she was to get her food. Damian considered just leaving it there, it wasn’t really his problem, but something in him just couldn’t do it. He scooped up the phone and made a b-line for the girl.

“Miss,” he called to her back, trying to catch up with her, “Miss!” He wove through the never ending stream of people until he finally came within arm’s reach of her. He tapped her shoulder and she turned, confused. “Miss, you dropped your phone.” Damian stretched out his arm, handing her the phone.

“Oh! Thanks! If I lost this, I don’t know what I’d do.” She smiled sheepishly and took her phone. “Is there anything I can do to repay you?”

“No! No, I’m good. It wasn’t really a big deal,” Damian thought for a moment, “Well…you could let me join in in grabbing a bite, I was planning on coming over here myself.”

“Well then, it’s a deal,” you reached your hand out to him, “I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”

“Damian Wayne, pleasure’s all mine,” he told you smugly.

“No way! Your dad does not have a private plane!”

“He does! He’s just too boneheaded to plan ahead.”

“I’m glad he didn’t,” you flirted.

“Oh? And why is that?”

“You would’ve never met me.”

“And a true statement that is.”

You and Damian had been talking for an hour over, now cold, coffee. The boy led a very interesting life and you found it fascinating. You could listen to him all day. Or night. You weren’t really sure of the time of day it was anymore.

You sighed sadly, “You miss ‘em?”


“Your family, you nitwit. You’re going to be late for Christmas and no one knows if we’ll ever actually leave to get to Gotham. So, yeah, do you miss them?”

Damian just scoffed, “Y/N, my family is incredibly messed up. No one misses each other. The only family in Gotham I miss are my pets.”

“Oh, come on. Not even your dad? Or, who was it, Alfred?”

Damian turned a light pink, “Well, maybe I’ll miss Pennyworth, but me and my father is a very complicated story.”

You looked around mockingly, “I don’t think I’m going anywhere anytime soon. Spill.”

Headcanon: Damian Wayne, Jon Kent

Thank you for sending in your request. I decided to just do it like this instead of separately – this is short as well so I really hope you wouldn’t mind at all. Hope you enjoy anyways!

  • Damian and Jon will somehow manage to turn this in to a competition of trying to win over their respective s/o. Like everything else, it is always the both of them trying to one up each other with how they try to woo you. It also becomes a battle to see who can make their s/o fall for them first or to agree to go out with a date with them first. So trying to ask out their s/o is always a fun thing to figure out.
  • Jon might try bringing fresh flowers for his s/o as well as a box of chocolates. You can never go wrong with flowers and chocolates. He will dress up as nicely as he can – wearing his cleanest shirt and nicest jeans too – before giving the flowers and chocolates to you. Of course, he also tells you, you are beautiful – he does this rather shyly too.
  • Damian on the other hand will bring you to the finest restaurant because he wants to let you taste some really exquisite food. Damian will compliment you constantly and despite how cool and collected he may look; Damian is actually very nervous too. He gives you a bouquet of your favourite flowers and instead of chocolates like Jon, he may even give you an expensive gift – something like a bag or perfume. Anything that he thinks women in general might enjoy.
  • Damian will go out of his way to shower you with things that he thinks you might like. He will also bring you to countries you have always want to visit too, during date time. He is going to try his hardest to impress you with his wealth at first though you may have to tell him you are fine with just staying in Gotham and not going anywhere too fancy.
  • Even though Jon may not be able to afford to bring you to expensive places all the time, he sometimes will bring you out for very nice dates, like picnics by the beach and watching the sunset or he might even bring you out for a date to watch the sunrise. He compliments you a lot too, never forgetting to tell you just how beautiful you are to him.
  • Damian and Jon will literally do anything to win their s/o over.  Any way they possibly think could work to win you over. Both would also be very determined once they have their eyes on someone and spending time with you as much as he can will be one of their initial goals at first. Jon may be subtle at first with his growing feelings but Damian will make his intentions clear from the very beginning.

Damian Wayne is a Kung Fu Master, but not a Kung Fu Tea master. Unlike Mara who is both, he can only do two of the eighteen pours and failed his tea identification and brewing tests. This, and not the whole joining Batman and being Robin thing, is why the Sensei considers him a traitor to the al Ghuls. It’s also part of why Mara is his favorite descendant, she makes the best cup of tea in the world in any style requested. Talia is a distant fifth, as her brewing is acceptable.

Wake Up Part 5

Word Count: 3750 (I know it’s long)

A/N: I apologize that this took so long to upload. I did have to get over some emotional problems of my own. I feel better now some what. I got a lot of encouragement from my wonderful followers and my close friends and I can never thank all of you enough for being here for me. So here is part 5 of the series that has no end in sight! Let me know what you think!

Warnings! Character death, depression, sadness, and angst. This part was hard to write but I feel it was necessary to move forward with the story.

Tag List:
@carryonmy-assbutt @aworldwideapart @comicbookworm @laryssa-the-jedi @stormcloud12 @all-of-the-heros @laughingcherries @aestilinsky @kermywormy17 (If you would like to be added to my tag list please just let me know!)

Where we left off:

“(Y/n), your father is in the emergency room. He’s had another heart attack,” she answered with a cold, pitying sound in her voice.

Keep reading

Kiss the Cook

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader 

Word Count: 795 

Prompt: based on this head-canon 

Warnings: just some fluff :)

Dating Jason Todd was always surprising. You thought you knew him like the back of your hand, but it turned out that he had many “secret talents” that he didn’t mention…ever. For example, it wasn’t until you were awoken one morning by music that you realized he could sing. Or that he knew how to juggle a soccer ball, hold his breath underwater for 2 minutes, and dance the Argentine Tango. Needless to say, Jason was a bag full of surprises.

One of these (many) talents popped up at a Barbecue cookout for the 4th of July at Wayne Manor. You were conversing with Tim and Dick about your job, their jobs, and life in general. In the middle of the conversation, you began smelling something incredible. Your mouth began watering; whatever it was must be really delicious, especially since you had only eaten a few of the hors d'oeuvres (appetizers) made by Alfred.

“Sorry guys, but do you smell that? It smells good, like really good,” you began sniffing the air like a puppy. Tim and Dick looked at each other in confusion.

“Uh, I did put on some cologne about half an hour ago. Is that what you’re talking about, Y/N?” Dick asked.

“No, no, it’s not like a fragrance. It’s food,” you waved your hand no. You gave Tim your glass of wine, “Here hold this.”

You left the two and began looking for the source of the food, but then you laid your eyes on Jason standing at Bruce’s grill. He had an apron on and seemed to be actually cooking.

You walked over to him and the smell became stronger. So it was the steak.

“Jay? Are you cooking?” You asked as you approached him. He looked up from the grill in surprise, his emerald eyes searching for whoever called his name.

You stood next to him, looking up, and arms crossed over your chest. When he looked down at you, he smirked.

“Yep. Barbecue is my specialty, babe,” he winked.

“Oh really? How come I never knew this?” You asked playfully. He shrugged and continued flipping over steaks and hamburger patties.

“Never came up,” he replied.

“You mean like the fact that you can sing, juggle a soccer ball, hold your breath for over 2 minutes and dance the Argentine Tango?” You brought up his other secret talents.

“Yup,” he said.

“Alright, Mr. Mysterious, well if you’re gonna cook, you should probably wear a hairnet,” you said.

“What? Alfred doesn’t wear a hairnet, Y/N,” he looked at you incredulously.

“No offense to Alfred, but he doesn’t have much hair to begin with,” you said. Jason gave you a look that said “don’t you dare”, but it was too late, you already shouted for Alfred to get a hairnet for him and ran off so Jason wouldn’t pick you up and put you over his shoulder. Unfortunately for Jason, he couldn’t leave the grill to run after you, otherwise he would burn the steaks.

You came back with the hairnet and placed it slowly on Jason’s head while humming a dramatic song for effect. He deadpanned at nothing while you placed the hairnet on his head, but he secretly enjoyed your amusement.

“DUN DUN DUN DUN NANANANANANANANA DUN…!” You began singing the main Star Wars theme as your victory song. You began parading around the backyard practically yelling the Star Wars theme, Dick soon joining in, then Damian, then Tim.

After finishing, you skipped back to Jason and showcased him.

“Presenting! Jason Todd wearing: a hairnet,” you announced. There was silence for 5 seconds, then Damian guffawed. Alfred and Bruce snickered, and Dick and Tim were holding back their laughter. The batgirls were too busy talking to notice.

“HAHAHA TODD, YOU LOOK LIKE A DORK,” Damian yelled. Jason angrily whipped around and raised his spatula to throw, but you held his arm back while silently giggling. He did kind of look like a dork.

“At least you don’t get hair in your food, Damian,” you pointed out. He stopped laughing and glared at you and Jason.

“Fine whatever,” he rolled his eyes and continued sipping his soda.

Jason lowered his spatula slowly, staring agitatedly at Damian.

“Hey, hey, heel, boy, just ignore him,” you calmed him down. It was then that you noticed the “Kiss The Cook” slogan embroidered on the chest-portion of the apron. Jason, was still staring in Damian’s general direction angrily, so you grabbed his face and kissed him passionately to get his attention.

Jason immediately caught on and put the spatula down to wrap his arms around your waist.

When you pulled away, he smirked at you and raised an eyebrow.

“Why’d you do that?” He asked lowly.

“The apron told me to.”

A/n Hi guys! This was my first attempt at a Jason Todd oneshot, and I hope you guys liked it! not taking requests right now but i will very soon! Thanks for reading :))))


Sad and Tragic Stories- Damian Wayne/Robin X Reader

You watched as the light faded away, casting a faint orange glow to the city you call home. Usually you would be finishing homework or reading a book, but you felt like watching the sun sink into the horizon. You snuggled closer into your knitted blanket and watched the sun finally disappear. One by one, the lights on the streets and the rooms in the buildings glimmered with pale lighting. You hated that the light pollution in Gotham prevented you from seeing the stars, and often pondered on booking a flight to the Atacama Desert in Chile to stargaze for hours. Even Dami- You shook your head. Of course you had to think about him, you scolded yourself. You sighed and returned your attention to the illuminated city. Why did he have to do it? You had no idea why, but a little voice in the back of your mind always says that it’s your fault. You knew you did nothing wrong, but what caused him to abandon you when you needed him the most? Your mother is in the hospital, your siblings are on the other side of the country with your father, and now you lost the love of your life. You felt warm tears fall down your cheeks and immediately wiped them off. You thought about the scene in The Outsiders and thought about its relatability. Nothing Gold Can Stay held an immense truth to you and there was nothing you could do about it. The doctors said that your mother only had a few months to live due to her wounds from the mugging and gave you many looks of pity and reassurance. You didn’t need anything from them, you needed your mom back, you needed your family back together, and you needed him. A faint knock from your apartment door interrupted your thoughts and echoed throughout your dark apartment. You stood up and abandoned the blanket at the window. When you reached the door you looked through the peep hole in the door and saw your elderly neighbor, Mary, holding what looked like her famous double chocolate chip cookies. You slightly smiled at her kindness and opened the door.

“Hi Mary. How’s the mint plant I gave you?” you asked.

Your smile faded when you saw blood dripping down her head.

“Mary, are you alright? You’re bleeding! Let me go get my medical supplies,” you stammered.

You were about to get the medical supplies but Mary collapsed onto the carpeted floor. You immediately rushed to her and tried to find the wound. There was bruising on the back of her head and a huge cut to go with it. Cackles could be heard to your left and caused shivers to travel up your spine. When you gained the courage to look up, the psychotic clown himself was munching on a cookie and staring at you with bloodshot eyes. You stood up and ran into your apartment, desperately searching for your phone. As you were running through your apartment, two gunshots taunted your ears. You collapsed and screamed. Excruciating pain erupted in your chest and abdomen. Tears clouded your vision and streamed down your face.

“Awwww. Don’t cry, girlie. Your neighbor over there is only knocked out and you are invited to my party!! There will be balloons, candy, cake, and a few other people I invited!! It’s gonna be a blast!!”

You screamed when he grabbed your wrist and dragged you across your carpet. He dragged you through the hall and into the elevator. You felt disoriented and nauseated, and the pain was becoming too unbearable. You felt your blood oozing out of your wounds and attempted to cover your free hand on the bullet wound in your chest, but your hand was too heavy. Everything was gaining a darker tone and soon you were too tired to keep your eyes open.

“Don’t worry, girlie! I’ll make sure Harley will fix you up for the party!”


You woke up on a table with leather straps wrapped around your torso and legs. The rough material dug into your skin, obviously bruising it the longer you remain trapped. Humming could be heard and music could be faintly heard off in the distance.

“Oh goodie ya awake!” a female voice squealed.

You moved your head to the right to see Harley Quinn in her usual red and black outfit with a matching psychotic smile on her face.

“Mistah J was wonderin’ when ya were gonna wake up. I’ll go tell him!!”

She happily bounced out of the room and slammed the metal door shut, leaving you alone in, what looked like to you, a torture chamber. Where do they get the frickin money for this?? You squirmed in the restraints until you got your right arm free. You felt around your torso for the bullet wound and came in contact with stitches. You frowned and put your hand near the bullet wound on your abdomen, which were also stitched. You heard footsteps coming from the opposite side of the door and fearfully slipped your hand back under the leather strap. The door bursts open and cackles flooded into the room.

“I hope you had a good nap, because the party is about to start!!” Joker exclaimed excitedly.

“I’ll get her chair, Puddin’!” Harley said while walking toward a decayed wooden door.

She pulled out a very colorful wheelchair that had matching leather straps with the table. While she was pulling out the wheelchair, Joker picked up a syringe from the metal table and plunged it into your neck. Your shout of pain was muted by his gloved hand. He pulled the syringe out and removed his hand.

“Just to make sure you don’t leave the party early.”

He then started to unbuckle the straps and drag your limp body onto the wheelchair. Harley fastened the straps on your arms, torso, and legs and started wheeling you through the dark hallway. Any attempt at moving a single centimeter went to waste and you were soon pushed into a room with faded bright colors and a massive broken window. She placed you in the empty spot in between black and yellow chairs and left you to join Joker across the room.

“You might be wondering why I brought you here! Well, I guess it all started when I saw a little bird frequently visit your window. You know what I thought? ‘Hey! The boy blunder either is a peeping tom, or cares about this girl!’ Your neighbor’s cookies were fantastic by the way,” he commented, “and now we’re waiting for my other party guests to arrive! But first, I wanted to give you a present for coming to my party!”

Harley handed him a small case and let a huge smile grow on her face. He opened the hatch and pulled out another syringe, but this time the liquid was green. Your eyes widened and your breathing rapidly increased. Your heart was pounding out of your chest and almost exploded when he was only inches away from your bruised neck. You felt the needle pierce your neck and soon its contents went into your bloodstream. Tears shed down your face and soon met the floor. He yanked out the needle and threw it onto the ground, the sound of glass breaking echoing throughout the room. He looked up to the ceiling and smiled.

“Hello, Batsy!! A little birdie showed me this wonderful flower!! Well, now she’s wilted, but that’s not the point,” he laughed.

“Let her go, Joker,” Batman’s deep voice demanded.

Joker tutted, “You always have a poor choice of words.”

He kicked your wheelchair towards the broken window and watched you drop. You couldn’t even let out a scream. You always thought that you were going to die happy, maybe have a few kids and a loving husband watching over you. You guessed the universe decided that was too kind.

“(Y/N)!” a familiar voice called out.

You felt the back of the wheelchair being grasped and you were suspended only a few yards away from the ground. You were slowly lowered to the ground and Robin quickly ran to your side to unfasten the straps. Once they were removed, he pulled you out of the chair and held you closely. After a couple of seconds, he readjusted you so he was carrying you bridal style. Just as he thought you were safe, you started laughing uncontrollably. His eyes widened and he ran as fast as he could to the Batmobile.

“Father! Please tell me you’re finished with the Joker, (Y/N) was injected with a newer version of Joker’s toxin.”

“I’m coming,” his father responded.

He looked back to you and hoped that it wasn’t too late to save you. Your face was stuck in a smile and tears were falling down your dirt covered face. Your face was getting paler and paler by the second and your body was seizing. He urged himself to go faster and finally met his father at the Batmobile. He handed your shaking body to his father and watched his father inject you with the antidote. You stopped laughing in a few minutes and faded out of consciousness.

“This will help, but not permanently. If this is a new toxin, then we need to have the proper antidote for her to recover.”

Damian nodded and glanced at you once again. This was the reason why he broke off your relationship: to make sure you were never involved and harmed. He had failed and you received the penalty. Bruce placed a hand on his son’s shoulder, hoping to provide him some comfort. Damian removed his father’s hand from his shoulder and made his way towards the passenger seat of the Batmobile. Bruce sighed and looked back at your unconscious form. He secured you into the gurney and walked to the driver’s seat. This was going to be a long night.


Once Bruce had taken your blood sample to made the antidote to the new toxin, Damian never left your side. Dick and Tim often came down to give Damian food and offer to watch you while he slept, but always refused to sleep. When Tim failed to persuade him, he left the room to help Bruce out with the antidote. After thirty minutes of arguing, Damian promised to sleep when it turned 9:00. That gave him ten more minutes to watch over your lifeless form and hope for the best.

“I know you’re the last person you would want to see right now,” Damian said, “but I never wished to hurt you, or put you into harm’s way. The reason why I ended our relationship was to protect you. Everyone I care about has been harmed in this type of life and now you have been too.”

Damian swallowed the lump in his throat before continuing.

“I have heard from many of my family’s experiences of either losing or having their loved ones harmed. I couldn’t imagine seeing you dead or harmed, so I did what I thought was best. I have read many tragedies, and I had to remind myself that they could become reality. They are sad and tragic stories, just like ours. I tried to prevent it, I have done everything I could to protect you, but it wasn’t enough. The reason why the Joker found you was because of me. I watched over you ever since I broke your heart, my cowardice led me to believe that you wouldn’t be safe, but I was the true reason why you were put in harm’s way. I am sorry for causing you this much pain. I wish that we didn’t live in this cruel and unjust world, but fate was not on our side. I hope that it will be on our side now.”

Damian grasped your hand and laid his head on the cot, finally letting sleep pull him into unconsciousness. Dick soon entered the room to tell Damian it was time, but was surprised to see him fast asleep with his hand holding yours. He slowly closed the door and walked toward the Bat Computer.

“Damian is asleep,” he told Bruce.

“Good,” he replied, “he needs his rest, especially after tonight.”

“He really loves her, doesn’t he?”

“More than you with your cereal.”

“That’s debatable.”