i think ppl need to be careful about saying “straight women fetishizing gay/bi men is JUST AS predatory as straight men fetishizing lesbian/bi women” like…. both of these are bad things, similar expressions of homophobia and entitlement, nasty as hell and inexcusable but like… acting like the exact same power dynamics are at play is kinda ridiculous and you have to accept that if you want a valuable discussion of these issues
Pretty Girl doesn’t talk about much. Pretty Girl doesn’t
think she’s ‘pretty’. Pretty Girl has scars on her body he
says he doesn’t understand why they’re there. Pretty Girl
hears from Pretty Boy, ‘you shouldn’t do this, you’re so
beautiful, you’re so full of light, you’re such an incredible
thing.’ Pretty Girl says to Pretty Boy, ‘sweetheart, I am the
embodiment of a shooting. You will be a victim, you will
break, and I will be the culprit every time.’ Pretty Boy tells
the Pretty Girl he doesn’t see why she’s so fearful of her
own body. Pretty Girl replies, ‘dear, you’ve no idea the
damage I’ve dealt to this vessel that has pulled me away
from everyone around me;
I am not safe.
I am not safe.
I am not safe.’
Pretty Boy sighs. Pretty Boy caresses his fingers over my
thigh. Pretty Boy sees my reaction and holds me tighter.
Honey, do you understand that this Pretty Girl doesn’t
know the meaning of feeling whole? She never has.
Pretty Boy likes Pretty Girl, supposedly.
Pretty Girl likes Pretty Boy, definitely.
There is no solid ground here. Not yet. Everything is
quicksand, and I am
sinking into this Pretty Boy.
There is no branch for me to grab hold to and escape
this kind of pull. There is no safe word, no warning that
things won’t be as they have always been;
good, great, okay, and then nothing.
Pretty Girl cannot do this again.
But she will let herself anyway.
I watched the musical (again) last night and the ending just really fucked me up. In the musical Veronica still loved JD but she can’t because of what they did. In the movie she’s really mad and wants him gone. When JD dies in the movie it’s probably because he feels like nobody loves him anymore and he’s better of dead while in the musical JD trades his life for Veronicas’ and she doesn’t want him to die. That made me really sad. And i’m sad that i’ll probably never see the musical with the original cast on stage.
so if you’re cis or masc and you’re wondering why trans women tend to be kind of bitter about everything, consider what it’s like being one of us. consider that literally every person on earth was brought up to be kinda sorta deeply repulsed by you at a pretty fundamental level–and, since you unfortunately grew up on earth, that includes yourself. it even includes other trans women.
so you’re dealing with that and it’s a lot, and it’s irreparably fucked up your relationship to your body and probably fucked up your relationships to your family and your pre-transition friends, but also you’re slowly realizing that every single relationship you’ll ever have to every single person you’ll ever know in your entire life is going to have that same disgust as its point of departure. fundamentally, you’re just a little bit gross to yourself and other people, and there’s nothing you can do about it, and it’s forever, and fuck are you tired.
what she means:
finnick odair is viewed widely as a superficial character who was only self-obsessed and okay with being a killer, but really he survived the hunger games as the youngest ever winner, went through that much trauma and survived at 14 years old, grew up to fall in love with an emotionally damaged girl who had gone through what he had, yet she had turned out more externally damaged, grew close with a sweet old woman, was willing to protect her with his life and literally physically carried her on his back in the games, despite the risk to himself, stood with the rebellion against the Capitol even though he was their darling, publicly defied and spilled secrets about the president, married that same damaged girl he loved even in the middle of a war and had a child who he never got to meet, helped a psychologically damaged and unrecognizable Peeta and defended him, protected his friends and team against the lizard mutts, and actually begged for Katniss to throw a bomb down where he was, because he knew that it would save her and the rest of the team, even though he would die.
“have you been kissed before?” luna says, “uh-huh.” “what?” his jaw lowers. “by who?” “guy at school. you don’t know him. he bought me a sandwich afterwards.” she starts laughing at maximoff’s brows and hard confusion. “you’re totally fucking with me.” he pauses. “right?” luna just laughs again.