dallas buyers club*


There’s something to say about actors who lose an extreme amount of weight to play a role in a film. To become so thin that they look emaciated and close to dying, to be weak and irritable from the lack of food, and loosing whatever previous muscle tone they once had indicates an unflaggible dedication to their craft. To put their bodies on the line for the sake of realism so that we filmgoers can watch their deteroration happen before our eyes on the big screen and know that it’s quite possibly the only non artificial thing in the entire film shows a true passion for their art.


A/N: This was another lovely request, sorry about the time it took (I was in hospital over christmas but now I’m ready to write again.) Requests Welcome, Let me know if there’s any typos, Feel free to like and reblog aaaaand Enjoy!:) xx

Gifs-credits to owners

Warnings: language i think

You didn’t want to look down. Never. But you knew that you had to, you knew that you couldn’t ignore it forever. You were sitting on the toilet in your and Jared’s apartment. You weren’t wearing anything but your panties and one of Jared’s shirts. You hadn’t planned this, you didn’t even know if he really loved you.

You had only been seeing him for a year and living with him for about five months. But you knew that he always wanted to have you around, even backstage at interviews sometimes. You smiled to yourself as you thought about the night you met him.

It was raining and you were running down a street in your high heels, trying to make it to a meeting in time. You opened the door to the hotel where the your meeting would be held and ran to the elevator. A Man in a white shirt and black pants stepped out as you stepped into the elevator, making you tumble over, making one of your heels break.

“Shit, I’m so sorry” the man stopped the doors from closing and stepped inside the elevator to help you catch your balance as a big smile formed on his lips.

“Jared Leto”  He said and gave you his hand. You just mumbled your name back what made him laugh at you. You looked up to see the most beautiful eyes you had ever see. He smiled as you tried to break the minute long eye contact.

“I’ll buy you new ones, don’t worry” You smiled and thanked him as you said:

“I’m really sorry but I’m late to a meeting” He smiled and pushed the button for the floor with a conference room in.

“Let me take you out for a drink Y/N, and we can talk about your shoes” He said as the elevator moved.

“I would like that” You said as the door opened.

“meet me at the bar downstairs in an hour maybe?” He said as you walked towards the room you were heading.

“Sounds good” you said as the doors closed behind you.

Your smile faded as you heard a little beep. You opened your eyes and looked at the stick in your hand. It was positive. You took a deep breath. Tears. Were they happy or sad tears? Would abortion be an option? no maybe not. You didn’t even know what he would say.

“Honey, are you okay?” Jared’s voice made you drop the test on the floor. Fuck. He wasn’t supposed to be awake yet.

“Yeah” you said and wiped your tears.

“Come back to bed” he wined. You stayed quiet. It was now or never and you knew it. You just had to take a few deep breaths. You threw away the test in the bathroom trash before unlocking the door. He was standing outside of the bathroom door when you came out and gripped your arms softly. He was shirtless, only wearing his boxers.

“Look at me” he said as he carefully placed his hand against your cheek as he made you face him. You took a deep breath.

“I have to sit down?” You said, hands shaking.

“What’s wrong?” He followed you to you bedroom where the both of you sat down on the bed. He put on his robe before took your hands in his. A tear slipped down your cheek as you looked him in the eyes. He looked frightened. He squeezed your hand as you kept repeating

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry” He looked at you and suddenly he was gone. His hands flew up to his head. You were a little taken aback by his sudden behaviour. You looked at him as he started to walk through the room with his hands to his head. You were about to say something when he started mumbling something and then suddenly, making you jump yellig:
“Who?” He looked like he were about to cry. “I’m sorry but I can’t…I love you” He said, calming down.

“What?” You breathed out. He didn’t look at you. Suddenly it all came to you. You stood up and looked at your boyfriend.

“Jared, That’s not what happened. I didn’t cheat on you…I’m- I’m pregnant.” You finally said feeling how scared you got. You couldn’t face him. You sat down on your bed, looking at your hands again. You could feel his eyes on you. A few tears made their way down your cold cheek.

“We don’t need to keep it” You sobbed. You could feel him sit down next to you. His warm hand to your cheek once again as he dried your tears with his thumb. Before you knew it, he kissed you. You needed his warm dry lips right now. 

You kissed him like he was the only thing that could keep you alive and if you broke the kiss you felt like you would die. He broke it and pulled you close to him. You sobbed against his toned chest as he stroke your hair, trying to calm you down. He broke the silence by whispering “I love you” in your ear. He let go of you and looked you in the eyes with a big smile on his lips.

“Y/N,We’re having a baby…You could never make me more happy. I love you like I have never loved anyone and I want this baby more than anything. He or she is a creation by us” He said as he took your hands, his whole face shining of happiness. You cleared your throat.

“You really want this baby?”

“Of course, I’ve wanted to start a family with you since the day i met you. Maybe it’s a little early but we’ll make it. Together” You didn’t know what to say so you stayed silent. You laid down under the covers together as he hugged you.

“How long have you known?” He whispered.

“Well i started to get worried when my boobs grew and it got difficult to fit in my jeans.” The both of you laughed a little.  He lifted your shirt a bit and kissed your belly.

“Do you believe this?” You whispered as he let his hand brush over your stomach.

“Well everything is possible I guess” He said and kissed you.

Imagine Jared surprising you by showing up at your place unexpectedly.

You let a frustrated sound as you struggled to find the right note. You exhaled deeply and stilled yourself, starting the song from the beginning. You had been practicing the song for months and even if their previous ones had been easy, The Kill seemed to be the hardest to learn on acoustic. And that particular note that you kept forgetting got on your nerves.

You bit your lip, pausing and thinking. The silence was really welcomed and when you best friend said she would be out for a few hours you jumped at the opportunity.

“I think the one you’re looking for is C5.” a voice was heard behind you and for a moment you would have thought Caroline had not left yet. But that was so not her voice. Your entire body stiffened and you turned around, eyes wide. Even as you looked at the person you couldn’t believe it was really him.

“J?” you breathed out, tears welling up in your eyes and an emotional smile formed on his lips.

“Hello sweetheart.” he breathed out as you clasped a hand over your mouth, the guitar falling from your hands on the bed “What?” he breathed out a chuckle “No welcome back hug for me?” he whispered with a cute smile and you almost sobbed as you ran towards him. You crashed in his arms as he hugged you as tightly as he could.

You laughed and sobbed at the same time, squeezing your eyes shut as you fisted the fabric of his shirt in your hands. In had been almost a year since you last saw him but it felt like an eternity. Maybe yes he was your best friend but that never stopped you from having feelings for the man. Who could blame you after all? He was perfect to you in every possible way.

“Gosh” you breathed out, brushing away the happy tears as you looked up at him “J, you gained weight.” you breathed out and he gave you a crooked smile “I was getting so worried about you.” you breathed out and he let out a shaky sigh.

“I know, princess.” he closed his eyes and kissed your forehead “I know.” his lips brushed your forehead as he spoke and you shuddered.

The last time you had seen him it was when he was filming Dallas Buyers Club and he had been so weak it worried you to no end. You were scared something was going to happen to him and you’d end up messaging him every day. He’d reassure you he was alright but you were never really convinced. There were times you had stayed up till late at night, thinking about him.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” you breathed out, burying your face in his chest again and smelling his characteristic scent.

“I can’t believe it either.” he whispered, his one hand holding your head as he kissed the top of it. His lips lingered there before in the end he buried his face in your hair; giving you a squeeze.

“Hey!” another cheerful voice was heard “Don’t keep her all to yourself Leto!” it was Tomo and the moment you opened your eyes you saw him get in.

You giggled and although none of you wanted to you shared a look with Jared but pulled away. You grinned as you walked towards your friend, arms wide open for you “Tom-Tom!” you chuckled as he spoon you around.

Shannon smiled as the two of you acted like little kids and his smile got softer when he glanced at his brother. Jared breathed out a chuckle but turned his head away as Shannon saw him brush hs tears away. Jared rubbed his red eyes and sniffled. He was not one to get emotional very easily but with you everything was different. You had broken every one of his rules and had made him think of things he never thought he needed or wanted.

“And you!” your voice caught Shannon’s attention and the man turned to look at you with a grin “Come and give me a hug right now mister!” they all chuckled as you jumped in Shannon’s arms. You were like a little sister to them yet there were moments that you took care of them like a caring mother. They all loved you so much…

…And Jared more than anyone else.


“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” you breathed out as Jared closed the door and came to sit on the bed next to you.

“The guys wanted it to be a surprise, since we are going to stay for long.” he said softly and you felt your breath at his words.

“How long?” you whispered and he smiled softly, the kind of smile that made you weak on the knees.

“Months. Lots of them. Maybe a year too.” he smiled, his hands resting on yours as you grinned widely at him.

“That’s great.” you whispered, acting like a shy teenage girl in front of their crush.

“Yeah” he breathed out and you both laughed softly. He looked down at your hands as he played with your fingers.

“I heard the song.” you said softly and he smiled, not taking his eyes off your hands.

“What did you think?” he whispered and you bit your lip for a moment.

“It was amazing.” you said in an equally low voice “You were amazing.”

He smiled softly “I had an amazing inspiration, that’s why.” he mumbled, brining your hands up as he kissed over your wrists and fingers; making you blush softly at the intensity in his blue eyes.

“Did you?” you asked in a tentative voice and he grinned softly.

“The most beautiful of all.” he breathed out, looking at you “I missed you so much.” he confessed and you felt your heart leap to your throat.

“I missed you too.” you breathed out and as he cupped your cheek you rested your forehead against his.

Yeah, well the boundaries of your friendship were always blurry for the both of you.

“Please don’t leave again.” you closed your eyes, your voice in a small whimper as he kissed your forehead tenderly. His lips moving to your cheek and lingering there once more.

“Never, I promise.” he whispered, his lips brushing past your just like the last time you had seen each other.

In a desperate moment of having to say goodbye to each other you had not cared about friendships or people being there. You had almost kissed him and he… he had almost kissed you too.

But now there was no almost “Never”…

…and he pressed his lips tenderly to yours.