dakota murphy

Cat Names

“We are not naming the cat Catvendish. I thought I made it quite clear that we look absolutely nothing alike.” 

“It’s not Catvendish. It’s Cat Von Dish. You know, when I sound it out like that makes him sound like fancy food or German royalty. Maybe we oughta name him something more British-y.”

“Again. He is not a caricature of me.”

“Don’t ya mean CAT-icature? Heh, that was a good one right, Arthur?”

“Ha ha. I think my lungs collapsed. I vote Bartholomew.”

“Bartholomew? On a cat? Yuck. That belongs more on a platypus.”

“Well, it has mew in the name, doesn’t it? It’s a pun. Stealth pun. I daresay it’s perfect. However, I’m generously willing to consider your name if you can tell me how you came up with Arthur.” 

“He’s the mythological king from Camelot who defeated the Saxons and headed the Knights of the Round Table, performing various heroic deeds such as fighting monsters who threatened the land and rescued damsels in distress. Oh, and Le Morte’d Arthur was required reading for a World Mythology class in time travel college.” 

“I didn’t realize they had a World Mythology class. If I’d known that before, I definitely wouldn’t have spent so much time struggling with Advanced Time Paradoxes.” 

“So, getting back on topic, are we naming the cat Arthur?” 

“Yes. Don’t even think about gloating.” 

That’s How We’ll Get Him

Song parody of That’s How We’ll Get Her from Wander Over Yonder.


Cavendish: I’ve come to realize that

This child, Milo Murphy

Is an agent quite advanced 

And shows no mercy!

So we’ll use the pistachio truck

And lure him in a hurry,

We will quickly interrogate him

Then be recognized by the agency!

Pull the lever,

Hide those tethers,

Spare wheel ready,

Hold her steady!

Watch his defenses crumble

No, I’m not being petty!

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