Oh, the indignity of it all. The not so small pug is so uncouth. Close your eyes and put your tongue away, I tell him. I might as well be talking to a human for all the notice he takes. I guess I’ll just have to sit and suffer in silence. I’ll adopt my very best inscrutable look whilst I contemplate and pretend I’m a canine Buddha. Clearly, I have the wisdom and the wrinkles. I’m just not quite so bald.

I know that I get sad when my human isn’t here, but the morning after she gets back we always have super snuggles. I get to squeeze myself onto her lap, even if she’s busy or if I don’t quite fit, I wriggle all my wrinkles in there and get all extra squishy. The tactic, of course, it to look so super cute that she doesn’t ever want to leave me ever ever again. Maybe this time it will work.


Today is the last day of the six nations rugby. My human and her human and the smaller humans took me out for a W.A.L.K earlier, and it was great! So many delicious smells, and an excellent dog in a jumper. For a while I even got to wear a little hat. My human said it was ridiculous but I actually kind of liked it…
Anyway, we’re home now and the humans are shouting at the TV again. I don’t understand how men that are so small get my humans so excited. Sometimes I bark along with them, because it’s the only thing in the TV box that I’m allowed to bark at. But today I just can’t keep my eyes open. Must have been all that sea air…


My human has put me on this ridiculous exercise regime. Apparently all the cheese is going straight to my wrinkles… She got all super proud the other day because I’d hit my “target weight”, but the exercise still hasn’t stopped. Apparently exercise is not only good for my wrinkles, but it’s good for my human too. She won’t stop laughing at my post-walk flop situations. She won’t be laughing so much when I get all snoreasaurus on her while she’s trying to write essays.

Hey everyone. I know this is Sybil’s blog but I just wanted to introduce myself. After a week of deliberation, my humans have finally named me Watson. I just wanted to come by and say that no matter what Sybil tells you, we actually SHARE a bed. She keeps saying I’ve stolen this and stolen that. I’ve even “stolen” her stupid purple collar. It has a bell on it so the humans don’t tread on me, but I’m not convinced about the colour. Still, it’s not HER collar. It wouldn’t even fit around her neck. I’m not even sure if she has a neck? She’ll probably say I stole that too.

Sometimes after a long day, my human lies on her tummy. On days like this I like to do my best to lend a helping paw, so I basically sit on her shoulder. When she tries to take a picture, I attack her phone because of the tiny pug inside it. This time she managed to catch my little flat face just seconds before I attacked that other tiny pug and knocked it right out of her hands. That’ll show the stupid tiny pug. My human. I do not share.


My human isn’t very well. Today she has spent all day in/on her bed… Which is kind of ok because I’ve spent all day on her bed too. But she’s been watching films or reading or sleeping, and none of those things involve paying attention to me. So I’ve tried to insert myself into her activities so that she knows I’m there for her. You know, for cuddles and stuff. A sad human makes for a sad pug, because a sad human doesn’t want to play at all. And she said my snoring was like an earthquake in her brain… I feel bad because I can’t help it, I’ve just got such a tiny nose.

My human says we are going on an adventure on Monday. She says it will take the whole day, but that I’ll be really happy I went with her. Apparently we have to pick up a very special parcel…? I don’t know what that means but if it doesn’t involve cheese then I can’t see how I’m going to enjoy it.

Oh by the way! We totally found that other dog. He hurt his paw a little but but he’s safe and sound now. He didn’t have a human before he ran away, which is kinda sad, but after all his adventuring he now has a human and a forever home. How great is that!

I hate the rain. I don’t like going outside in it because I’m like a giant sponge, but staying inside all day is no fun at all. So I try to entertain myself by taking things… You know, socks, tissues, paper… Anything lying around. Except my human (almost) always catches me and takes them away. She never lets me do anything fun. Stupid human.