1/7/2017-1/9/2017 Soup-Nose The Goat has some swelling under her jaw. We suspect bottlejaw (fluid retention caused by anemia). Anemia in goats is usually a parasite issue, so we wormed her, and I drove to the hippie feed store and bought some of the fancy organic sweetfeed to try and convince her to eat a bunch of delicious nutrition. Even Soup Nose’s Olympic-class food fussiness is no match for sweetfeed.
Sweetfeed is made of corn, molasses, oats, various trace vitamins, and tiny shavings from a shining blue meteor that landed in the Darkhad Valley in Mongolia in 1953. The workers who harvest the meteor cover their ears so they can’t hear it singing to them.
Sweetfeed smells amazing. I have genuinely considered cooking it like oatmeal and eating it myself. My google history is full of searches for cornflake and molasses cookies, gingerbread cornmeal cookies, something, anything. Internet forums are thronged with people wondering how to make moonshine out of it. It smells like molasses and raisins and cornbread and coming home to the family you never knew you had after a long time wandering in the dusty dark between worlds.
We have to keep a brick on top of the bin with sweetfeed in it, because otherwise the feral cats sneak into the barn and eat it.
The cats try to eat goat food.
(Seriously. I tell a lot of lies on this blog. That is not one of the lies. It’s uncanny stuff.
Also, if you know any recipes that involve molasses and cornflakes, please send them to me, the smell is driving me mad.)
11/19 For about a week, I have been trying to solve the Mystery of the Unwelcome Bedtime. Soup-Nose will NOT go to sleep no matter what we do.
On an entirely unrelated note, about a week ago we finally gave up on finding another apple crusher and finishing this year’s cider. We started feeding the leftover apples to the goats. Also completely unrelatedly, Soup-Nose really likes the squishiest, brownest, most fermented apples. She just shoves her nose right into them. Splurch.
The Blue-Haired Girlfriend (who is definitely the brains of the operation) pointed out the obvious today: Soup-Nose won’t go to sleep because she is Drunk And Busy Yelling At Clouds.
lol this me hi
I need to get more tattoos I’m too plain this is upsetting
all I have is a shit ton of piercings, where 3 of them are currently not even visible (my septum, smiley and nose stud on the other side of my nose) out of the 11 I have, and big ass stretched lobes
so I need to get tattoos
Jughead is now homeless thanks to his rotten day (this episode made me feel the feels guys) but Betty is here to save the day.
This is a terrible attempt at Fluff guys sorrySTORY:
It is raining, a big storm. The first storm since Jason Blossom’s death. It puts the whole town on edge, there is a murderer on the loose and sheriff Keller just got robbed.
A loud knock rings out through my empty house. My parents are out at the office. I’m used to it.
Slowly closing my laptop I get up and slouch down stairs. The storm outside has gotten worse. I pull the door open slowly and only a little bit to see a tall boy soaked through to the bone, his beanie clinging to the dark hair plastered to his face. He has a large backpack hanging off one shoulder.
“Jughead?” I ask, surprise evident in my tone.
“Who else?” He smirks, shifting his bag on his shoulder. “As much as I’d like to continue this conversation outside in the rain, it’s kinda cold.”
“Oh yeah, of course.” I move aside and let him in.
He enters my house, dumping his bag on the floor and immediately going to my kitchen.
I follow him into my kitchen and chuckle to find the boy already beginning to make waffles.
We used to do this all the time as kids, he’d come to keep me company when my parents were at work. He’d make us waffles and we’d watch movies until I fell asleep.
But he hasn’t been round in a while hence why I was surprised to see him at my door.
“What are you laughing at?” He asks balancing a crazy amount of ingredients and utensils in his arms.
“Just you Jughead.” I smile but it quickly drops to a frown.
“Hey, what’s up?” The tall boy asks as he places the ingredients down on the counter noticing my frown.
“Nothing.” I try but all I get is a skeptical raised eyebrow. “I mean… It’s just I’ve… We haven’t done this in a while and I missed it- this. You. I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” He whispers pulling me into a hug.
“So,” I say after the hug ends. “I heard they closed the Drive In. I’m sorry Juggie I know you were staying there. Hey if you need a place to stay…” I trail off at his sad expression.
“It’s okay. Um, my dad didn’t offer me a place to stay and I’m not on good terms with Archie, I was just gonna camp out in the park…” His voice is quiet and soft and it’s on the verge of sounding broken and vulnerable.
“Hey no. No way Jughead Jones the Third is living in the park. If my mother saw you she’d probably find a way to kick you out of school. You’ll stay here. No ifs buts or maybes.” I grin at him hoping this will cheer him up.
“If you’re sure…” He seems unsure because of my stuck up mother so I grab his hand and pull him out of my kitchen.
I pull him into the hall and grab his bag then pull him up the stairs.
Pushing Jughead into my bedroom and onto my bed I catch him muttering:
“Wow, I’ve never been forcefully pushed on a bed before though I imagined it would be under different circumstances.”
I struggle to hide my laugh and try to busy myself by sorting through his bag.
I begin to tidy his clothes away while he snuggles into my bed.
“Hey, Jug you’re still soaked buddy.” I laugh as he groans.
“Come on.” I pull him up. “You’ll catch a cold.” I am about to turn to leave when be pulls his shirt off.
I’ve seen the tall boy shirtless before but only when we were younger.
Man this boy’s clothes hide a lot. He is er… Well he’s very attractive. I feel myself turning very red.
I quickly turn away.
“I’ll be downstairs if you need me Jug.” I call as I leave the room awkwardly.
He mutters something in reply that I don’t catch as I leave the room.
I hop down the stairs two are a time and head into the kitchen to continue making the waffles.
Jughead joins me about five minutes later (once my blush had gone down, luckily) no longer wearing his jeans and denim jacket but instead wearing baggy sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. His signature beanie is still on his head.
“Sup, Jugs?” I grin.
“Sup, Betts?” He grins back as he grabs a plate of waffles.
“Y'know, your hair will dry a lot quicker without the hat.”
“What? If I take my hat off I risk you finding my bald spot.” He fake gasps.
“Ha. Ha.” I reply dryly.
I reach up while he is distracted eating waffles and pull his beanie off his head.
“Hey!” He cries and I run away with his hat.
For one sweet moment it was as if we were children again. I always used to steal his hat when we were little.
I run upstairs with his hat and he’s hot on my tail. I dive into my room, but I trip on the way falling on my floor, landing on my butt.
Jughead follows me into my room, he also trips but luckily I’m there to break his fall.
He gracefully (not) lands on my stomach.
“Oof.” He’s quite heavy what with all the those waffles.
“Ouch.” He chuckles, he’s still on my stomach.
“Oh yeah like you can say ouch, you haven’t got a 6ft boy sat on your stomach Juggie.” I complain.
“Are you calling me fat?!” He asks sarcastically, wriggling around as if to prove his point.
“Jug!” I cry. “Stop! Juggie!” I laugh because he has started tickling my very ticklish stomach.
“I can’t hear you!” He laughs, his beanie lies forgotten beside us. All the awkwardness I was feeling earlier dissolves into the air.
I manage to push him off of me and he rolls onto the floor next to me. We are both lying on our backs very close to eachother laughing our heads off.
We laugh for a good few minutes until the raven haired boy’s laughter stops. I stop laughing and turn my head to see him already staring at me.
“Thanks.” He’s says seriously.
“For what?” I ask.
“For distracting me from my shitty day Betts. For letting me stay here even though your mother will kill you if she finds out. For making me laugh.” He mumbles.
“Oh Juggie I’m sorry your day has been shitty.” He laughs when I swear. “And as for my mum she’s always at work right now- she’s barely home.” He looks slightly relieved by this. “And I’m always here to make you laugh Jugs.” I grin at the boy next to me.
He smiles at me and for a second I get caught up in how beautiful he looks-not hot or handsome but beautiful. I can feel myself leaning closer to him and I’m sure he is leaning in too. I quickly pull away before things get awkward and I end up ruining this friendship.
He pulls away too and coughs awkwardly.
“Err boy am I tired.” I laugh nervously. “Bed?” I ask as we both stand up.
“Err… Yeah sure. Where should I sleep?” he asks scratching the back of his neck adorably.
“Oh, er, I don’t have a spare bed. And I can’t let you take the sofa incase my parents come back. So would you be alright sharing my bed?” I ask feeling nervous for some reason.
“I can just sleep on the floor. I don’t want to be an inconvenience and I’m used to sleeping on the floor.” He says and the way he says it so nonchalantly breaks my heart.
“Nope.” I reply. “I care about you Jughead and I’m not letting you sleep on the floor you’ll sleep in my bed with me, if I’m not too repulsive.” I add as a joke at the end.
“You’re not repulsive Betts, you’re sweet and kind and apparently too stubborn to let your friend sleep on the floor.” He jokes back.
“I am all of those things, now come on let’s go to bed.” I smile at him and he smiles back. Luckily I am already in pyjamas which spares us the awkwardness of getting changed.
I climb into bed an wait for Jughead to follow. He looms awkwardly for a second before joining me.
We both lie there awkwardly for a few minutes until I start to drift off. I roll over before I fall asleep and I feel the taller boy shift away but I’m too sleepy to properly notice.
We wake up to my alarm. It’s a Saturday but mother checks on me every morning at eight so I like to be awake half an hour earlier. This just happens to work in our favour today because it means I can hide Jughead before my mother finds him.
When we wake up I find myself pressed against Jughead’s chest with his arms wrapped around me. It’s a shame we have to get up because I could happily spend all morning cuddling with Jughead.
The alarm doesn’t appear to wake the tall boy. I lean up and try to escape his arms. I shake him awake gently until he groans and brings his arm up to rub at his eyes.
“Betty?” He asks, his voice gorgeously laced with sleep. I pull myself away from his warm body and stretch.
“Sorry to wake you Juggie but my mom will be in to check on me soon before she goes to work.” I explain.
“Okay.” He grumbles slowly sitting up and yawning. He slowly stands up and stretches.
“Where should I hide?” He asks, his voice still deep with sleep.
“Err my closet should be a good hiding place. I’m sorry you have to hide.”
“Its okay.” He says. We hear footsteps coming towards my door.
“Quick!” I say pushing him into my closet just as my mom, Alice Cooper enters.
“Oh, you’re awake.” She says dryly.
“Yes I am.”
She begins her daily routine of nosing around my room. Once she’s done looking around and she heads back to the door and I think I’m in the clear. She turns around and looks at me. Her eyes drift around my room until she catches something.
“Betty, what is that?” She spits out pointing at none other than Jughead’s jacket on my chair.
“Mom, you know it was raining last night- with the storm. And you know Jughead is my friend. He leant me his jacket so I wouldn’t get wet on the walk home.” I explain.
“Betty, you knows I don’t approve of you being friends with this boy. He’s dark and mysterious and gloomy. He’s going to ruin your entire image.” She complains.
“Mom! Jughead is the sweetest, kindest boy in this whole town and it doesn’t matter what he looks like! I’m sick of you telling me who I’m not allowed to have as my friends. I like Jughead so you’re just going to have to deal with him being my friend.” I snap at her.
“Well don’t come crying to me when he breaks you. And I don’t think you should trust anyone with a name like Jughead.” She mumbles loud enough for me to hear. “Oh and your father and I will be at work all day again.” She snaps and with that she leaves, slamming the door behind her.
I wait a few minutes until I hear the front door slam and her car start. I go to the closet and let Jughead out.
“Sorry you had to hide.” I say with a sheepish smile.
“It’s okay.” He smiles back. “So what’s the plan?” He asks.
“Well I’m still quite tired, wanna go back to bed for a bit?” I ask nervously biting my lip.
Yeah, I approve of this plan.” He chuckles and we climb back in to bed.
This time instead of the awkwardness of lying awkwardly, we go straight to cuddling eachother. Jughead pulls me in close and wraps his arms around me.
“This isn’t weird is it?” He whispers. “I feel like people might think it’s weird.”
“I don’t think it’s weird so I won’t tell if you don’t.” I whisper back.
“Cool.” He replies.
We quickly fall asleep in eachother’s arms.
We don’t wake up cuddling. We wake up a few hours later spooning, he’s the big spoon and he’s holding me protectively. I sit up slowly and accidentally wake up the taller boy up too.
“Morning.” He smiles.
“Morning!” I smile back.
He stretches and gets up before going to have a shower. I sit reading in my bed until he comes back. What I was not expecting was for him to come back in wearing nothing but a towel hanging low on his hips.
I flush bright red and try to distract myself by reading but his treasure trail is too distracting.
“The bathroom’s all yours Betts.” He mutters.
I stand up to go and use the bathroom but I make the mistake of trying to walk past him while looking down. I trip and just like a cliché I fall straight into his arms. Our faces are so close and without thinking I can feel myself leaning closer. He is leaning closer too.
“Betts.” He whispers staring into my eyes. “I think I’m going to kiss you.”
“Juggie.” I whisper back. “I think I want you to kiss me.”
He smiles and I lean in to kiss the smile off his lips. The kiss is slow and sweet. My hands tangle in Jughead’s black hair and his go to my waist.
The kiss doesn’t last too long as we’re both a bit uncertain. We brake apart but remain in eachother’s arms.
“That was…” Jughead starts. “Betty.” He continues in a serious tone. “I thought you were still in love with Archie?”
“Well, to be honest Jugs, I think I just confused my feelings for Archie. You see I thought I was in love with him but another boy made me realise I love Archie but I’m not in love with him.” I explain.
“Oh.” He replies. “Wait, who’s the other boy?” He asks.
“Juggie, I’m stood in my pyjamas in your arms while you are wearing nothing but a towel. And we just kissed in my bedroom which I am letting you live in despite my crazy mother.” I explain to the clueless boy in front of me. “Who do you think the boy is?”
“It depends, is he devilishly handsome and the funniest guy you’ve ever met?” He asks jokingly.
“Yes and yes.” I seriously reply.
“Oh damn then he’s not me.” He chuckles sadly.
“Of course he’s you Juggie! Who else would I possibly fall for?”
“Tall, athletic boys.” He mumbles.
“I only have eyes for tall, dorky, sweet boys whose clothes actually hide a lot.” I chuckle.
“Oh.” He mutters.
“I like you Juggie. I think I’ve liked you for years it just took me a while to work out my feelings.”
“Oh.” He says again but then what I’m saying sinks in. “Oh, so uh, can I kiss you again?” He asks looking adorably nervous.
“Of course you can Jugs.” I smile and lean in to kiss him again.
As we kiss we forget about Jason Blossom’s murder. We forget that Jughead is technically homeless. We forget about Archie and Veronica and everyone else and all our worries and just think about what’s happening in the moment. We are happy together and right now that’s all that matters
2/18 Hickory Roasted Almonds, a play by Soup-Nose The Goat.
Soup-Nose: I see you have almonds. Can I have one?
Me: No, they’re too salty for goats.
Soup-Nose: Almond! Give me the the almond.
Soup-Nose: Nobody has ever in the history of the universe wanted anything as badly as I want this almond. The strong nuclear force pales in comparison to my attraction to your almonds.
Soup-Nose: Some goats just want to watch the world burn, you know. Goats who don’t have almonds right now.
Me: All right, all right. Here you go.
Soup-Nose: Aauuu! Salty!
Soup-Nose runs to the water bucket, sticks her head into it, and sprays water everywhere, splashing a very surprised peacock who had been flirting with a Sexy Fence Post. The peacock flies off and sits on top of the goat shed, making angry squeaktoy noises.
Soup-Nose: Whew, that was awful.
Soup-Nose: Hey, are those almonds? Can I have one?
Testing the Winter Sonata inspired Miraculous AU even though I should be asleep.
Fic Summary: Chat Noir, revealed to be Adrien Agreste, died in a building collapse at the age of seventeen. Twelve years later Marinette, engaged to be married, meets a man who looks exactly like Adrien. But is Felix Agreste really a different person? Or is there something more sinister at work—something that Marinette will do everything in her power to stop, no matter who it hurts?
That morning, Parisians woke up to a blanket of snow.
It was the kind of snow that had just the right consistency to be played in. Citizens flocked outdoors, turning parks into snowball battlefields, snowmen communities, and designated laughter areas. Even those who were inconvenienced by the weather couldn’t help but smile at the infectious happiness of their fellow man.
The snowy Champ de Mars in particular drew a large crowd. Most came to enjoy themselves. Some were there to take photos and videos of the snow-covered Eiffel Tower. And a few had come to see the spectacle of Paris’s resident superheroes, Ladybug and Chat Noir, frolic like children through the trees.