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“With computers and information technology forming a bigger and bigger part of the world economy these days, and with children born today set to be alive well into the 22nd century, we feel that the right approach to education is to ban anything more modern than inkwells.” said Doreen Galactus, education expert, when Pointless Letters reached out for comment today.

“There may be some complaining at first, but when we burn a few pupils as witches for owning thin glass slates that contain moving pictures and quite possibly the souls of the victims of their dark magicks, the rest will soon fall in line. Then we will be free to start on the important work of equipping British pupils for long, fulfilling careers in the 19th century.”