daily napkins

The Demon of Song from Dark Souls 2 Reads the Label, Wondering Whether an Honest Kids Lemonade Packet Contains Too Much Sugar.

There are an endless number of creepy, gross bosses in the Dark Souls franchise.
This one is a giant nasty frog with a skull and spindly arms protruding from the mouth…or maybe it is some sort of skeleton wearing a frog?

But even monsters need to consider excess carbohydrates and tooth decay. Right?

And this one has a lot of teeth to worry about.
(This Honest Kids Lemonade packet is in my kids’ lunch boxes because, presumably, it has less sugar than some other things…)

Shark Siege Six:

My older son has been playing a lot of “Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Siege” with friends from school.

The game’s website explains that “Siege is a brand-new style of gameplay embracing the reality of counter-terrorist operatives across the world: intense and asymmetrical close-quarters combat between attackers and defenders.”

Sounds compelling, but maybe what it really needs is playable sharks?

Be Sure to View the 2017 Eclipse Safely:
(Even if you are Batman)
(Unless your head is already on fire)

We are getting ready for the Great American (partial) Eclipse here in Brooklyn.

There’s been a lot of discussion about how to view the eclipse in a safe manner. I am the proud owner of not one, but two, arc welding helmets, so we are pretty well outfitted. But the kids really wanted cool eclipse viewing glasses to be purchased expressly for the occasion. Not too much chance of that happening now at t minus one hour.

I am still thinking about a Fresh Direct box viewer though. Unfortunately, our latest delivery is not due until 3-5 pm today, so I will have to unpack our paper recycling pile.

The three superheroes Batman, Firestorm and Stargirl hail from the latest DC Cartoon Network show that my kids have been watching, “Justice League Action.”

Firestorm has a perpetual flame emanating from the top of his head so a eclipse box viewer will protect his vision, but not prevent all burning.

This is definitely the Velociraptor that you are looking for:
The kid with blue hair rides the blue raptor.

My younger son told me last night that “Star Wars Rebels characters riding Jurassic World dinosaurs is the thing that we are doing now.”  Well, alright. Since Star Wars Jedis are supposedly able to use the “Jedi Mind Trick” to control animals, I guess this is as plausible as anything else that goes on here.

We are crossing corporate boundaries, however. My older son opined that perhaps a series of Star Wars and Jurassic World team ups might be a bad idea as it could encourage Disney to purchase the Jurassic Park franchise. (Because these napkins are so very influential!) I explained that Jurassic World was a Universal property at the moment and was therefore probably safe from Disney.

Ezra, the teenage star of Rebels, was the obvious choice for the next napkin.  The kids debated who he should be riding, but I have to say that Blue from the “Raptor Squad” was really the only choice.

My son did not like Ezra’s riding position. I did not bother to explain that I was trying to hide as much of his body as possible so I would not have to draw it.

This two napkins a night thing is definitely not going to work out.

Star Wars Rides Dinosaurs #5:

I have not been following “Star Wars Rebels,” the latest animated Star Wars TV show, very carefully. Hera Syndulla is one of the band of rebels, and I think, the captain and pilot of their ship. She is a Twi'lek, one of the humanoid, but not human, species in the Star Wars universe. This means, (fun facts that I just learned on the “Wookiepedia” today) that parts of her brain are located in her “head-tails” and that her eyebrows are tatooed on.

I felt I had been shirking the color possibilities of the dinosaurs in the series so far, making them all an amorphous grey/green. Of course, no one knows for sure what sort of coloring would be accurate….

The color scheme definitely got away from me on this one. The greyish green solution looks pretty good in retrospect.

Jar Jar Binks and Donald Trump:

Could idiocy mask an evil master plan?

Our kids are sadly not particularly politically informed. (I will admit my guilt here, although I am still working on conveying some basic concepts like their excruciatingly over privileged status as well fed and educated, white male Americans)

But despite their lack of interest in politics, they have somehow acquired a violent dislike of Donald Trump. While my feelings about the man who I still think of as “The Donald” are definitely not positive, we have done our best to ignore his recent ridiculous antics, so my sons’ loathing of the man did not come from anything I or their father have said. Their hatred of Trump is total and visceral, yet does not seem tied to any political positions he holds, anything specific that he has done, or statements that he has made.

The only other individual who might be equally reviled by my sons is, of course, Jar Jar Binks.

We watched “Revenge of the Sith” last night. And while it was more tiresome than I remembered, the movie reminded me of the fanboy theory that Lucas had originally intended for Jar Jar to be revealed at the end as the top Sith Lord- the ultimate bad guy. Some hypothesized that Jar Jar’s dimwitted behavior in the first two prequels was supposed to be a diversion from his evil machinations, but that the fans’ violent hatred of the character prompted Lucas to lose his nerve and change the ending.

It is appealing to think that there was a reason for the Jar Jar character to be so very annoying, but I fear the theory does not seem very likely to me.

It is not so appealing to consider that Mr. Trump is intentionally deflecting our attention from serious issues with his annoying and idiotic statements…and it seems extremely likely that is an accurate description of the situation.

My younger son was frantically concerned that I not post this image because someone might mistake it for support of Mr. Trump’s campaign. He made me pledge that I would add: “Jar Jar and Donald Trump: Separated at Birth?” just in case anyone might be confused.

Mochi and Pig:
A Disney/Dreamworks team up:
No animated kids’ feature is complete without a feline sidekick.

We went to see Dreamworks “Home” over the weekend. I’ll admit that I might have dozed through some of the movie and may be slightly fuzzy on many of the details, but I did notice that there was a cat and that it looked a bit like the cat in “Big Hero 6.”