Dinner: andouille tofu sausage on a wheat bun w/ spicy mustard
~8 minutes on elliptical
~30 minutes of various arms/abs
~10 minutes on treadmill
• 2 min walking (3.5 mph)
• 2 min running 6mph
• .5 min walking
• 1.5 min running 7mph
• 1.5 min walking
• 1 min running 8mph
• 1.5 min walking
Didn’t workout that long today but I wasn’t planning on going to the gym at all so it’s better than nothing!!
I took the weekend off because I had some really bad days emotionally.
The guy I’ve been seeing decided to act like a complete ass (not for the first time unfortunately ) and I’m tired of being walked on. He told me, “well no one else is going to find you attractive so I guess you’re stuck with me.” So I told him to fuck off, and I’m angry.
Haven’t been sleeping super well lately since that happened (Thursday/Friday night).
Do I just have a giant “waste my time” stamp on my forehead? This is a pattern and I can’t tell if it’s me or if it’s just the assholes that seem to be “interested” in me.
This morning I redownloaded tinder and started talking to someone else and I was called a whore who should “enjoy slurring it up” while I can, simply because I didn’t answer within five minutes of his first message.
I’m just very tired of being treated like shit over and over again. The more I seem to stick up for myself and demand that I’m treated well, the shitter I’m treated which makes zero sense to me.
My eating has kind of reflected my mood and it has been a bad few days. I binged for the first time in three weeks today. I feel guilty about it, but I’m afraid to confront it because I know I’ll fixate and beat myself up for so long that I’ll end up doing it again.
Idk. Just a bad week mentally. Need a hug.
I’m gonna try to start posting food/exercise logs everyday to help keep me a little bit more accountable for what I am eating! It’s only 4:30 so I’m obviously not done eating for the day but this is what I’m planning on eating (and I’ll edit it if it changes) I also haven’t eaten much today because I woke up late so I just grabbed leftovers from the fridge, not exactly a balanced meal
Breakfast- banana & almond butter
Lunch- kung pao cauliflower
Snack- 1 avocado
Dinner- Mandarin Chick'n with brown rice & broccoli
Post workout- 1 scoop of vega chocolate protein powder w/ water
Snack- maybe a scoop of soy ice cream???
I don’t know exactly what I’m gonna do today but I’m gonna try to run a mile (haven’t done so since the summer!!) and then will do some strength tbh & finish with a bit on the elliptical
I wake up really early every day so I immediately start my day with some green tea. Then I eat a really filling breakfast and take hydroxicut, cla, hair/skin/nails gummies, and my daily vitamins. After about an hour I go for a walk, trying to go pretty fast, for about 45 min to an hour. Then I eat a smallish lunch, usually totalling about 150-200 cal, and then I have to work until after dinner so if I’m too low on my calories I have a small cup of cereal (I love special K) and wall sit and plank to tire out my legs enough to lay still and sleep. Not very exciting, I know. Thanks for asking, though 💕
You will never understand how much you amuse me. No, really. My 2nd grade bullies had wittier responses. Better grammar too.
This could be the part where I talk about losing 27 pounds since January, how I absolutely believe in being responsible for tracking my food intake and having a well rounded daily exercise routine. I could mention that healthy weight loss is a long, slow process, that my view on Health At Every Size is living a healthy lifestyle without a focus on weight loss, even if that is my eventual goal.
But damn I get tired of playing the role of the “good fattie”.
And you want me dead because I’m not thin now.
You devalue everything I say, everything I am because you don’t like the way I look. Don’t pretend this is about health. You know you do not give a single damn about the health of a fat stranger on the internet.
I am not asking you to find me beautiful. I am not asking you to say I’m a good dancer. I’m not asking you to ‘HONOR MAH CURVES’.
I am asking you not to be an asshole, but that too seems to be a concept you cannot wrap your minds around.
If the worst thing I ever do in my life is encourage people to love themselves and be active, I think I’m okay with that.
And know, for every 100 of you that would put me down, there are 1,000 more who would support me. You. Will. Never. Win.