daily delirium

Today, I:

-took amoxicillin, albuterol, flonase, ibuprofen, and ciprodex ear drops every 12 hours
-but ate bone broth and yogurt, drank kombucha, took probiotics, and more in the in betweens to try to salvage what I’ve built of decent gut bacteria
-called my internship supervisor, texted with another intern, and emailed with two professors, to attempt to stave off any terrible consequences of this illness
-moaned, rubbed my own forehead too much, used the neti pot, wrote a bad haiku about my mucus, tried to do lymphatic massage on my fucking ears, got dizzy every time I stood up, felt awful about the weird zits I’m getting all over my face from some combination of coconut oil to carry peppermint to my temples, Vicks vaporub residue, and my own plague
-coughed like 3 dozen times, sneezed a half dozen times, purchased cough drops, chugged water to no avail as I am still parched, etc
-spent over an hour working on a very frustrating budget, with my husband who hates budgeting, paid some credit cards, planned some bs, whined, needed extra albuterol to breathe enough to continue whining
-put my whole massive 5-20 year old yarn stash up for grabs among locals on facebook because really, ALL it does is gather dust I’m severely allergic to and take up valuable storage space I could be using for other things, and if I get the time above and beyond kids and grad school, to knit or crochet, I need to use it to write and tend my plants. 
-went and bought a new minivan, coming away with something exceptionally well reviewed and tops for safety and dependability, in what was probably the least painful car dealership experience I’ve ever had. Also most surreal; we arrived at 8pm and left with the contracts done by 10. There was no one else there and the lights were off, by then. 2014, 38,000 miles, extremely expansive full warranty, gap coverage, low interest rate, perfect Carfax report. It went probably as well as it could have, barring the whole “now we’re out a big ol’ down payment plus a monthly payment, forever” thing, which is why we’ve been hanging onto our ol’ dented, paid off rat trap for so long, and hey, I’m actually going to miss that thing? WTH? End of an era, I guess…. I actually felt confused that they were willing to finance anyone who was broken out and coughing so often. Which doesn’t make any sense. 
All our up-too-late children were thrilled with it. It’s all bluetooth’d and convertible seat arrangements’d out. It has a fucking drink cooler? That chills drinks? That’s the single stupidest feature I’ve ever heard of in a vehicle, but perhaps my room temperature beverage bias is showing here. My main concerns are always, “will I feel comfortable in the driver’s seat over long periods?” and “Does the music sound good LOUD?” Jake’s main concern is “But do the giant windows on the slidey doors go down?” All yeses, here…

I am REALLY tired.

2014 was a pretty great year and I met a lot of cool people on tumblr, and it has honestly been a super great experience. I’ve nearly overcome the depression I’ve had since 2011, and as silly as it might sound, I think tumblr has played a significant part in helping me heal. I’ve grown so much and I have had endless support during all the hard times I’ve been through, and I wish I could thank you all individually, but this will have to do.

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32teardrops 50shadesofthanekrios


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late to add: pizzopaps dextroamino


And it’s done! I feel like i’m missing so many people, and I undoubtedly am. I am super sorry if you aren’t on here. I follow SO many blogs and have way too many awesome mutuals to count.

~good luck & happy 2015~