Tes has always been super gay, like dude we’re not even ‘invading’ we’ve always been here.

-vivec, an intersex demigod
-pelinal whitestrake, a gay robotic warrior from the future
-you cannot fucking tell me Nerevar and Voryn are not gay, come SWEET Nerevar
-that fighters guild son who I can’t remember the name of (he’s gay)
-shivering isles smith who flirts with you if you are a dude
-Crassius Curo a bi man
-Lord killbar from daggerfall who presents as a female avatar but has a male portrait
-literally all of the daedra but especially boethiah and mephala
-for fucks sake argonians are sexless at birth

I haven’t even scraped the tip of the iceberg buddy there’s so much more

SPOILING the end of each Elder Scrolls game without any context:

Arena: You assemble a magic walking stick so you can kill and then save the Emperor.

Daggerfall: A dozen different people get the same giant robot and kill each other with it. Also they don’t.

Morrowind: You kill an undead leader and destroy an old artifact, thus dooming your entire province to be squished by a rock.

Oblivion: You convince a man to break a really valuable gem right before he dies.

Skyrim: You and a bunch of ghosts yell at a big lizard until it dies so you can save the world. Either your country is ruled by racist assholes, or is conquered by racist assholes. You decide.

ES Online: You absorb the soul of one of your friends so you can kill a god who’s evil because he absorbs the souls of people.

I was talking to my dad a few days ago about elder scrolls and he turned to me and asked why do you like it so much? I thought about it and this is what I came up with.

Most games are go, kill things, find treasure, save the princess. That’s okay sometimes, hell even many parts in the tes games have that. Arena is that. It after a while it gets boring and repetitive. I like story behind those games, story that makes you think. The That’s why I love the series, there’s aspects that really make you question things, and the way it diverges from most classic western games.

Take for example Morrowind, and the plot of figuring out who actually killed Nerevar, who actually did the right thing. And slowly you start to realize everyone did some fucked up things, including Nerevar and you realize maybe not everyone as perfect as history makes them. What about Oblivion? As the game progresses you start to see you’re not the protagonist of this story, Martin is. You are just the support in someone else’s story. And maybe you are in real life too, while maintaining your own story. Skyrim? The whole speech with Paarthurnax is pretty deep, but if you look at the overarching theme which I see everyone miss, Skyrim is about diverging from what your told to do, straying from you fate, and how in the end it’s futile. Alduin doesn’t want to destroy the world anymore, he wants to rule it, and dies at your hands because of this. Miraak wants to be free from his master and his fate in apocrypha, but eventually ends up slain at Mora’s hands (tentacles?) And you, the last dragonborn, you may chose to fight your fate, stray from your heroic path, but in the end your trapped like a bird. And as your playing you realize Am I just a puppet of fate? Or can I escape? Is that necessary a good thing? Even daggerfall, you have to go around and find who gets the totem, but you realize they all have selfish means, even your beloved emperor, what’s stopping him from goomba stomping everything like Tiber Septim?

The point I’m trying to make is if you look hard enough The elder scrolls is a very deep series, that really makes you question things you didn’t think about. Maybe I’m overthinking this, maybe most people just see it as go to this dungeon, complete this quest, but for me at least there’s so much more under the tip of the iceberg. And that’s why I love this series.

You are Mannimarco, the King of Worms. You are an extremely powerful lich of at least 2,000 years of age, were kicked out of the Psijic Order for necromancy, have on several occasions attempted various widespread malicious deeds involving necromancy, and are currently in Scourg Barrow where you lead a group of necromancers, liches, and vampires.

And here you are politely greeting me and apologizing for your lack of information on necromancers.

Elder Scrolls: A Summary
  • Arena: Help! You must find all eight pieces of this staff to defeat the main antagonist! Did I mention that all the pieces are in eight different locations scattered all over the world? Have fun!
  • Daggerfall: Help! You must choose to give this all powerful Numidium to one of six potential factions! This will in no way affect the outcome of the next game however! Have fun!
  • Morrowind: Help! An all powerful self-created God, Dagoth-Ur is rising. You, the reincarnate of a long-dead hero must destroy the Heart of Lorkhan to defeat him once and for all! By the way, good luck with that whole claiming to be the Nerevarine thing. Have fun!
  • Bloodmoon: Help! Werewolves are attacking a fort on an island off Vvardenfell! When you're not defeating Dagoth-Ur, come help us solve this mystery! Oh, and a Daedric prince is involved? Have fun!
  • Tribunal: Help! Sotha Sil of the tribunal is going mad, and must be defeated, so as to save Morrowind! Oh wait, Almalexia, are you okay? Have fun!
  • Oblivion: Help! The emperor is dead! Quick, find his illegitimate son so we can stop Mehrunes Dagon from invading Tamriel. Whoops, lost the Amulet of Kings, it won't be that hard to get back, right? Have fun!
  • Shivering Isles: Help! A portal has opened up and it leads to the realm of the Daedric prince of Madness! You must go try and close the portal! Don't accidentally become a daedric prince yourself or anything! Have fun!
  • Knights of the Nine: Help! We must restore the Knights of the Nine to take down a historic enemy back from the dead! You have time to do that whilst shutting Oblivion gates, right? Have fun!
  • Skyrim: Help! You, the one we tried to behead for no reason, you are a Dragonborn! So yeah, only you can stop Alduin, fabled dragon, world eater, from destroying Tamriel. Just try and avoid that civil war happening too. Have fun!
  • Dawnguard: Help! A faction of vampires have appeared, we must create a new faction of vampire hunters to stop them at any cost! Wait, why are you a vampire now? Have fun!
  • Dragonborn: Help! That creepy werewolf island is back! This time another Dragonborn is jealous of your new found fame! Oh dear, another daedric prince is involved this time... Have fun!
  • Hearthfire: Help! I need a new Thane, and you need a house! Also, adopt some children... have fun!
  • Online: Help! Molag Bal is invading Tamriel and will enslave everyone! You, the Vestige, are the only one that can stop him! Oh, and can you deal with every single village in Tamriel's problems? Have fun!
Elder Scrolls Mer
  • Altmer: We are the best because we are the original. We have preserved thousands of years of Elvan culture, knowledge, and civility. All other races shrink in comparison.
  • Dunmer: We are the most magically superior. Our ancestors are held in such high regard that we can summon them if needed. We have defeated and enslaved other races, and the great houses of Morrowind rule with an iron fist. Our Tribunal is fierce and terrible.
  • Orsimer: We are intimidating and strong. Our honor comes from the great Malacath from who the gods spurned. We are masters in battle and blood lust, never relenting until our dying breath.
  • Bosmer: *sweats nervously and hides "I love nature" sign.*