“Beyond their dire consequences for the individuals involved, these treatments matter because they reveal a logic that forecloses the future for so many children with disabilities who, the story goes, can look forward only to suffering and limitation. Don’t get me wrong: There is nothing wrong with being a janitor or a bagger at a supermarket. I wouldn’t be sorry if Henry ended up with one of these jobs, as long as he is treated with kindness and respect. Nor am I arguing against planning for the security and well-being of a dependent who may need lifelong care. But when we are too quick to imagine that this is a child’s entire horizon of possibility, we deny the possibility of an open future”
-Make a circle out of power tools. (Screwdrivers and wrenches will do in a pinch)
-Place a pair of socks inside sandals in the middle of the summoning circle
-Chant “Hi Hungry, I’m dad” over and over
-Touch the thermostat
George Washington:Cool but uncool dad. Your dad who keeps up with current social issues and events. Always signing petitions and trying to get you to go to rallies and protests with him. Still wears a cellphone holster and says 'The Youtubes' though.
Thomas Jefferson:Asshole dad. Gives you alot of lectures that start with "when I was your age..." Talks constantly about how cool he was when he did his study abroad program in college. His car always smells like weed, but he still thinks he's being subtle.
Benjamin Franklin:Estranged dad. Showed up on your ninth birthday to take you to a ball game, where he tried to give you a beer, then left you in the parking lot while he went home with a cheerleader. Got your name and age wrong in the last birthday card he sent.
John Adams:Sappy dad. Carries a picture of you when you were three in his wallet at all times. Cries whenever any kind of animal dies in a movie. Tries to rap along to songs on the radio, but he can't rap. Refuses to throw away your old baby clothes.
James Madison:Befuddled dad. Wanders around the house looking for his glasses while he is wearing them. Types 'google.com' into the search bar. Goes to PTA meetings and spends the whole time standing in the corner staring at his shoes.
Alexander Hamilton:Overly-Intense dad. Tried to fight your third grade teacher because she said you were a little slow. Flipped over a snack table at your last soccer game because your team won. Stands behind you and stares at your screen while you type essays for school.