dadmetal

anonymous asked:

Since Kojuro is your #1 babe, do you have any modern headcanons for him? Can be as sfw or nsfw as you want!

SOMEONE FINALLY ASKED THIS I HAVE SO MANY 

  • still owns bontenmaru that turtle will follow him into every next life shut up he talks to him and explains his troubles often 
  • talks about the plot to his latest book to bontenmaru like the turtle can speak english and give him input on what to do next
  • always thought date masamune was really cool when he was a kid and his random obsession as a child was the sengoku period
  • he still has a messy apartment. books are everywhere and he lowkey owns shoujo manga because he’s a fucking dork
  • everythings the same it’s just that he dresses nice (i’m rejecting his love scramble modern day clothing he looks like a high school coach and i can’t have that)
  • still owns a kiseru because it’s kojuro and he has a lot of weird quirks even in present day
  • if he’s not an assistant to a ceo masamune, he’s definitely an author. 
  • an author who spends 95% of his time writing and forgets to do basic things like eat and go grocery shopping, most likely. it’s not even like he can’t afford it it’s just that he thinks about the idea of leaving the house to just buy food he’d have to spend more time cooking too? and his ass can barely cook? yeah nvm fam we good we can live for five days with just plain rice, no cooking we die like men
  • set his microwave on fire once because he never knew you couldn’t microwave tinfoil until he moved out and kita no longer cooked for him
  • nobody knows how but he’s so fucking awful at cooking like he can barely make his own coffee without fucking up and it takes him like two months to get that right alone. he just always somehow fucks it up and that is why no one ever needs him to bring anything ever to a potluck unless he bought it
  • he’s been writing since he was twenty and it has most definitely been used as a get laid tactic in his young years even if he denies it every time it’s brought up
  • lowkey writes poems but will never let anyone see it ever it’s hidden under his mattress
  • kita comes by his apartment once a month to yell at him and then help him clean up while whacking him over the head with his own book because dude you’re thirty, get your shit together.
  • most likely only has takeout and a ketchup bottle in his fridge. it’s a very empty fridge and it’s entirely his fault because he just forgets to eat a lot or sleep a lot.
  • falls asleep in random places around his house and is the king of powernaps when he has writer’s block, sometimes he just falls asleep on the floor and he’s an irresponsible fuck with himself all the time
  • has his hair in a man bun too but usually it’s slicked back af
  • is a pretty famous author, and he got some of the hype because everyone was really surprised the author of this book actually turned out to be really hot. he gets confused when people call him daddy in the comments of his posts on social media like “i’m not ready to be a father yet”
  • used to babysit this kid with heterochromia and his really loud cousin as a teenager, and swore he’d protect those annoying kids with his life and they’re like his closest friends they have a bar night about every other week now and is basically their dad
  • met his mc because they work at the same publishing company and she asked him to read over a manuscript of hers as a favor and he was so impressed he wrote his number on it upon returning it
  • he asked her out by writing a short story about him asking her out and then e-mailing it to her what a fcking dork and he talked to bontemaru about it 
  • mc met him at his apartment for their first date and nearly cried because what the fuck and they spent their first date cleaning his apartment instead of eating out
  • his neighbors file noise complaints once they start dating
  • he was so fuckin whipped after that he wrote poems about her and he would always go out of his way to visit her whenever he could like “hi u left a strand of hair at my place should i come by n drop it off” 
  • kita won’t shut up about asking when she’s going to get some nieces and nephews and when he’s going to propose
a list of a few of the tragic things that have happened to me, to help prove my point that i am mature enough to decide my own fucking coping mechanisms without the help of other people that are not in my situation (tw: lots of sexual, physical, emotional abuse)

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