daddy's shoes

20 is always possible!

So the group is in a tavern and was attacked there. After killing all attackers except one the remaining attacker flees.

Bloodrager: “I run after him and attack him.”

DM: “You have the same movement, so you can only follow but won’t get near enough to attack.”

Bloodrager: “Fine, I throw my spear at him.” (Carries a greataxe at the moment)

DM: “So you drop the axe? Fine roll—”

Bloodrager: “No! We’re in a Pirate City it’s gonna get stolen! ….I throw the greataxe at him!”

Rogue: “Just leave him, it won’t work anyway with all those penalties you get for throwing that thing.”

Bloodrager: “20 is always possible!!” (His tag phrase) *mumbles* “Come on, daddy needs new shoes…” (He always mumbles that when trying to throw a nat 20)

He rolls, the dice jumps over the table nearly tipping over a glass. It’s a natural 20. The DM just stares at the dice while the Bloodrager cheeres. The Rogue leaves the room and isn’t seen again that evening.

When Abbie learns to walk
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Newt:</b> Percival Where is abbie?<p/></p><p/><b>Percival:</b> Oh, around.<p/><b>Newt:</b> YOU LOST HER?!<p/><b>Percival:</b> just listen.<p/><b>Newt:</b> But Percival..<p/><b>Percival:</b> Shhhhh.*squeek squeek squeek squeek* She's over there.<p/><b>Newt:</b> You enchanted her shoes to Squeek.<p/><b>Percival:</b> I learned the first time<p/></p>

This nerd is always so smile-y in interviews I love him so much 😭😍😭

Also I would like to personally thank Jackie for not sticking with the same boring ass questions that most male interviewers ask. For example, now I know that Roman cried during that one scene with the daughter in Gravity.


Baby gets sweets.

Daddybat: princess where are you?

Me: *hiding in the closet drinking chocolate milk and eating cake*

Daddybat: *smells the cake coming from the closet and steps closer*

Me: *hurries up and eats the cake then hides my sippy in one of daddys shoes*
Daddybat: princess were you eating cake?

Me: no daddy *smiles up and sways back and forth*

Daddybat: *touches the corner of my mouth to get a crumb* then what is this?

Me: oh daddy that’s steak!

Daddybat: when did steak become chocolate?

Me: when was putting cake down for babys to reach a good idea?

Daddybat: ….

Me: …. Exactly.

Dance Dads // A Phan One-Shot

Genre: family fluff, domestic fluff, just fluff in general, parent!phan, jealous!dan

Words: 3.0k

Relationship status: Married

Warnings: none

Summary: At Emily Lester’s dance classes, she notices that some of her classmates’ mums like to compliment her papa, who always comes with her to rehearsals. Don’t they know that’s her daddy’s thing to do to her papa?

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Just went on a second POT-style date with this dude I met on AM. He’s less into cash and more into the idea of taking me shopping (which is fine cuz I want a gift daddy anyway) and we made plans to do that this weekend. I asked what stores he’d be taking me to (to gauge his budget) and he mentioned Forever 21 - you guys, I did the biggest internal eye roll. He said he also likes lingerie so I asked him if he likes heels, then showed him a pic of the classic Gianvito Rossi lace-up satin pumps. He got a facial boner and told me to send him the link, and then sent me off with a $50. I get more splenda vibes with him > sugar but he’s a total sweetheart so we’ll see.