daddy drank


This is my contribution to Father’s Day. 

Bobby’s Angel - part 2

Warnings: There is a lot of cute fluff in this piece. It may give you the feels for Clay lol. My teeth feel rotten for the amount of cuteness in this piece. ENJOY!

Part 1   Part 2  Part 3 

After Gemma picked up Jax and Opie to get cleaned up and ready. Bobby decided it would be best to get y/n ready for the party while leaving the croweaters to clean up and decorate the clubhouse. After the bath, Bobby wrapped y/n in a large fluffy white towel and sat her in the middle of his bed. Gemma had bought her a dress for her party but he wanted to make sure she was completely dry before putting it on. “I wish your mom was here to see your birthday, y/n. At least she’s letting me throw you party. Who knows what will happen next year,” he trailed off. Y/n smiled up at him at, “party with Obie an Jass?” Bobby sat next to her and laughed, pulling her into his lap. “Yep angel. You get to party with little Opie and Jax. You three are going to be so much trouble when you’re older!”

Hours later, the party was in full swing. Bobby sat on a bar stool, beer in one hand while the other wrapped around little y/n, sitting on his lap. Y/n was doing her gibberish talk to Jax and Opie, who were resting against Bobby’s legs and nodding at y/n, as if they understood her completely. Bobby chuckled as the two boys became immersed into the toddler’s conversation. The club was spread out across the room, even members from other charters and some nomads were present for today. “Alright, where is she?” The doors to the club opened and in strolled Clay. Y/n looked up and started clapping. “Clay! UP!” She yelled out for him as she wiggled in her father’s arm. “Up! Up!” Bobby laughed and passed her off to Clay, who swung her around before letting her sit on his shoulders. “Is the birthday girl ready for presents?” he asked as y/n wrapped her arms around his head. “Dada, present time?” She looked down hopefully, a toothy grin on her face. “Yea Unca Bobby, can y/n open her presents?” “Pretty please! We got her somthin!” Jax and Opie bounced around and tugged at his pants. Gemma and Mary laughed from the nearby couches at the boys’ excitement. Everyone knew that those two would do anything to make the little girl happy. 

Clay kept hold of y/n and walked her over to the couches. Spinning her around until she shrieked out with laugh, he tossed her in the air before plopping her down between Gemma and JT. Y/n screeched out louder as JT and Gemma began tickling her. “Jass! Obie! Help me!” she squeaked and squirmed. Jax ran over quickly and began his own tickle attack to his father, who jumped in his seat and lifted the boy to his lap. “Gemma! I’ve been hit! Go on without me!” JT dramatically threw himself backwards in his seat and let his tongue hang out his mouth. As Gemma was distracted trying to tickle Jax, Opie helped Y/n off the couch and went to his own parents, giggling as they tried to hide behind Piney’s legs. Everyone laughed at the children running and playing. This is what the club was about - this was family gathered to celebrate another year passing for the youngest little Munson. “Clay! I have presents now?” y/n batted her eyelashes up to her uncle. Bobby and everyone laughed as Clay nodded and held his hand out for her. That girl had Clay wrapped around her tiny fingers. “Alright, we heard the birthday girl. It’s present time!” Y/n excitedly clapped and ran to Clay, taking his hand and following him towards the tables. “Daddy, cmon!”

After all presents had been opened, it was time for cake. Opie and Jax dragged their parents over to the table with the cakes. “we made these for her!” “unca Bobby let us make ‘em!” The excitement in their voices warmed everyone’s heart. Clay scooped up y/n and sat her on the table near the biggest cake. “Clay! Get her off the table! She’s not an animal,” Gemma yelled as Clay and Bobby laughed. “Cmon Gem, it’s her birthday. Let her sit on the damn table, she’s gonna be too big soon to do it.” Gemma rolled her eyes and shook her head. JT couldn’t help but laugh as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. To everyone outside this room, these men would be seen as nothing more than criminal bikers up to no good. But inside the walls of the clubhouse with the small child sitting on the table and waiting for her cake, they were family men, doing what needed to be done to protect their children.

Bobby stood next to y/n, leaning down to place a kiss atop her head. Grabbing his guitar, he started to sing for y/n, who turned and smiled up at him. As the night wore on, people began to leave. Opie and Jax ran off to play with their toys in the corner of the room. The remaining adults gathered on the couches to drink and talk. Y/n wadded her way over to Bobby and climbed next to him, settling between him and Clay as she rubbed her eyes. Clay handed her the sippy cup from the table and she sat back, letting out a tiny content sigh as she drank from her cup. They couldn’t help but laugh. Y/n sat just like her daddy when he drank, leaned back and legs spread wide for comfort. “She is truly a Munson!”

“Yes she is.” Bobby wrapped an arm around his angel. She wiggled and curled against his side. As the conversation continued on, Clay nudged Bobby and cast his eyes down to the child who was fast asleep, her hands still clutching her sippy cup. Gemma giggled and shushed everyone around them, pointing the floor in front of the men. Jax and Opie had since joined the group again, but were passed out on the floor, toy bikes still in hand. “These three are going to be a club of their own one day,” JT said, a smile on his face as he gazed at his slleeping son. “Yea, ‘fraid we’re in for a lot of fun when they grow up,”Piney laughed out as he took another swig of his beer. “Guess we should get the kids to bed. It was a long day for them.”

As Bobby laid y/n on his dorm bed, he couldn’t help but stare. Bobby couldn’t help but smile at his daughter sprawled out. Although him and her mother weren’t together anymore,fought often, and she hated y/n being at the clubhouse with him, Bobby would do anything for this precious child of his. Y/n, his first born. His little girl. His precious little angel.

@mrstellerwinston @howmanywastedmoments@lolsthecat @soafanficluvr1 @redwoodog @chaosmieu @khyharah @5sos1dsex @opies-oldlady @come-join-themurder @queen-ofthe-bikers-soa @mrsirishboru @fortheloveofthesoa @samcrolivesforever  @ineedthesons @mwesterfeld1985@ladyannikki


IMDB BLURB: Having relocated to a vivacious amusement resort in Coney Island, The Phantom of the Paris Opera House uses a pseudonym to invite renowned soprano Christine Daaé to perform. She and her husband Raoul have no idea what lies in store.

WARNINGS: Mutha fuckin’ SPACE EELS. Ben Lewis is an anaconda. There is a murder in the film but there is literally no blood. Attempted suicide. Love angles abound. 

RATING: My anaconda don’t want none unless you got a son, hon.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

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anonymous asked:


Oh Bullocks…*Quickly grabs them and holds them* hold it right there Young one

Preference #3: They find out you're pregnant (4/4)

Requested: Yes

AN: Some of the situations are real and I found them very cute. I hope you enjoy it!


When I saw two lines appear in the pregnancy test, a lump formed in my throat. My hands started to shake and my mind was going crazy. Ashton and I talked about having kids but not right now; he had a successful career in the music world. I couldn’t think anything else but Ashton getting mad at me when I told him the news. I didn’t want to do it but I knew I had to. So I went upstairs, where he was decorating the spare room. “Ashton?” I mumbled and I just burst to tears. He stopped painting the room and he approached me. “Babe, what’s the matter?” he asked, worry in his voice. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, so finally he decided take mine and he squeezed my hands slightly, reassuring me. “I think I’m pregnant’ I said between tears. When I looked at him, he was so calm and a smile formed in his lips. “That’s wonderful news, baby” he said, touched. He laughed softly when he saw my confusion. He grabbed my face and pressed his lips in my forehead. “I’m so happy”. “Really?”. “Yeah. Everything is going to be okay, you’ll see. But we have to re-decorate this room! What do you think we’ll have? A boy? A girl? Maybe we could paint this room yellow, so that way we can be prepared for anything. And then we can have—“ I cut him off by kissing him. Ashton wrapped his arms around me and I smiled into the kiss. “I think we have a lot of time to re-decorate this room, Ash”. “Yeah, you’re right baby. Sorry. I’m so excited” I laughed softly.  


When I called Calum to come and sit down with me, he knew something was wrong. “What’s the problem?” he said, with worry in his eyes. Because of the shock, I couldn’t say anything. He started to guess: “Babe? Are you okay? Is your family okay? Did you do something to the car? Because it’s okay if you did, I’m not going to get mad” I shook my head. “Okay, that’s good. I’m not sure I could keep that promise. You know I really like that car” he said, relieved. “Wait. Did you cheat on me?!” he exclaimed. “No! For God’s sake, no” I said, quickly. “Oh, okay… That’s good too. So, what is it, baby?” I gasped but nothing came out of my mouth. “Are you pregnant?” he asked in a mumble. I nodded, unable to say something. He got up from the sofa and he kneeled before me and kissed my tummy. “Hey baby, I’m your daddy. Mommy thinks I’m going to freak out but I think she’s more scared than me. And as weird as it sound, I’m so happy to be the calmed one for once!” I laughed, tears in my eyes as I caressed his hair. “Can’t wait to see you, baby”. He looked at me. “I’m going to be a dad” he said, excited.


For several days I knew i was pregnant. I wanted to tell Luke but I didn’t know how to do it. I wanted it to be perfect so when I found the perfect way, I couldn’t be more excited. That day, when Luke woke up and went to the kitchen, he found the table decorated with baby stuff. But, Luke being Luke, he didn’t realized. He pecked my lips and sat down. He took the daddy mug and drank the coffee in it. I was trying to hold my laugh; I couldn’t believe he didn’t notice. He grabbed the pregnancy test, thinking it was a fork, and when he was about to cut the waffle, he realized what he had in his hand. “Babe?” he asked with his sleepy voice, confused. “What is this?” He examined it. “I mean, I know what it is but two lines means you’re pregnant or two lines mean you’re not pregnant?” I couldn’t help but laugh. He was so dumb. “I don’t know babe, what do you think?”. He looked the table and then he saw the daddy mug and the puzzle pieces that said “u + me = 3!”. “Holly shit! You’re pregnant!” he yelled, getting up and running towards me, wrapping his arms around me and spinning me around. I laughed. “We’re going to be parents!”. “Yes, we will” I said, tears in my eyes. “I’m so stupid, I didn’t notice all the stuff in the table” he laughed, ashamed.


I wasn’t very good breaking news gently so I had to think about a way to tell Michael I was pregnant. I was scared because I didn’t know what he would think. We never talked about having kids and although we both love them, we were too young. But I had to tell him, so I texted him.

He came home around six and he saw I was really nervous. “Are you okay?” he asked me, frowning. “Yes, yes but I can’t find my earrings” it was true, I couldn’t find my earrings and I was going crazy looking for them. Michael helped me but I shouldn’t have let him. “Babe?” he called me. I went to the bedroom, where he was and he was holding the pregnancy test. His face was priceless. His mouth was open and he was looking at me with wide-eyes. “That’s why you said party for three, right? God, I’m so stupid!” he exclaimed. I didn’t know if he was happy or not. So, due to the nerves, I started to cry. “No! No! Baby, don’t!” he said, grabbing my chin and kissing me. “We’re going to be fine. I promise you”. “Yo-You’re ok-okay with this?” I stammered. “What? I’m better than okay! This is the best news ever! I can’t wait to tell my mom and my dad. And the guys! God, they’re going to freak out!” I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re such a dork” I said, smiling. “You’re about to have two. Because I promise you that it will be a boy” I shook my head and smiled.

The signs as things my friends have said
  • Aries: Booby grape
  • Taurus: I didn't know dolphins rape
  • Gemini: *hysterical laughter*
  • Cancer: *referring to forehead* you can't handle all this head
  • Leo: THE CONCERT IS SOON (it's in March, we're still in January)
  • Virgo: Tia is scrappy Doo
  • Libra: You're such a WEEB omg
  • Scorpio: why is school so early
  • Sagittarius: *referring to balloon stuffed in my pants* nice dick
  • Capricorn: fuck me daddy
  • Pisces: *referring to me* the hoe friend

can you imagine how Good doc/wynonna would be if they’d skipped the romance arc and made him like a father figure for her and waverly

i mean they’ve got this terrible (and dead) father figure in daddy earp. he drank and he neglected waverly and he treated willa terribly. but then comes along 165 yr old doc holliday who tries to be all ~aloof~ and uncaring but in the end, these are are his best friend’s great great granddaughters, and all he has left of wyatt.

idk there’s just something about wyatt earp’s best friend banging his great great granddaughter that’s just creepy. but this would have been one hell of a dynamic had he been like a father figure, all “that’s mr. holliday to you”, giving dolls shit because he knows wyatt would want the best for wynonna, and being crazy protective over the youngest earp.

cause they’re wyatt’s girls. it woulda been great ok

Slip of the Tongue

Summary: Blaine’s fever leads to a very, very awkward conversation.

If you’re still taking prompts: Blaine is sick at home (living with pam still) and sort of fever-confesses he calls Kurt daddy. Bonus if Kurt is over and Blaine refuses to call him anything else, and Kurt is trying to explain it while also caring for his boy. Pam is confused. (No actual age difference please!!)

Warnings: Daddy!kink but not graphic

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Behold, my favourite KITH sketch ever. It’s SO dark, I love it. Warning for a homophobic slur used twice.


One of the best Kids In The Hall skits ever IMO. 


my favorite KITH sketch ever.