daddy daughter bike ride

God’s Plan   By: Y. Black

Wow, I can’t believe it. You here. Look at you so beautiful. I been so anxious just to see your face. Damn look that’s my nose on ya face. “Damn it feels good to have you.” Cole said it best. These tears of joy one day you’ll have the pleasure to know. It’s crazy to know half you is exactly me. All these emotions, I’m beside myself. Look at the queen that birth you. She’s amazing and she’s going to love you unconditionally. She did so well. She’s so strong I hope you get that part of her traits. I never fathomed I’d be a dad, a surely to not be blessed with a beautiful woman like your mom to create a life with. And look at you head full of hair. Lungs blaring throughout the maternity ward. I guess you wanted the world to be sure of your arrival. Trust me baby for you there are no rivals. I just wish I was around to be your idol.
It would kill me to know I can’t raise you. Daddy won’t be there to bathe you. Show how much of a joy you are to see. Can’t admire your beauty as you sleep. Can’t stop looking at you all I see is me. Then I’m rushed with all thoughts of what won’t be. I won’t be there for your first words, or watch you stumble after your first steps. I had plans on teaching you to ride a bike, daddy daughter date nights. I poised to put my pride aside for you. There wouldn’t have been no doubts, you’d know daddy loves you. My entire reason for being would have be altered. But I’ve been robbed, no you’ve been robbed. Better yet we’ve been robbed.
They stole me from you my little angel. I had no clue I would only be allowed to be a spectator of your amazement. I hate this for us. It’s crazy, because I was out already spoiling you. See you had your momma craving Popeyes biscuits, a Chic-Fil-A samich, and to top it off her hood ass wanted an Arizona. I was on the home stretch, just needed to make it to the corner store and head home. Straight to the back, the lemon tea was awaiting me. I grabbed a fruit punch for me since I couldn’t resist.  AS I turned back I heard the familiar click clack. A nigga had Shareef hemmed up, meanwhile I’m on stuck in the back. “Who else in this store? Why the fuck you keep looking in the back?” Shit, I’m just tryna make it to you mommy, and I’m caught up in the middle of an armed robbery.  My heart was in my throat. Scared to breathe for fear a nigga might choke.
Then I heard it, ears ringing. Slight stinging. Looked down like damn nigga shot the fruit punch out my hand. Shit had my whole T-shirt red. But it didn’t explain why a nigga was feeling light in the head. All I could think about was you. How gorgeous you are. How you were already my everything. Then it hit me, my baby girl was going to have to live a life without me. I kind of felt like I was incessantly drowning. But I, looking at you from the other side you’re everything sweet pea. Just wish I was there to show you what you mean to me.

Imagine Sam teaching your daughter how to ride a bike...

           “Daddy! Look!”

           “I see you, baby. You’re doing great,” Sam said. The warmth in his voice made me smile as I watched him walk next to our daughter. He moved easily, with one strong hand on the seat of her bike, steadying her as she tested the pedals. 

           “Don’t let go!” She didn’t sound scared, just excited. Of course, she was never scared if her dad was with her. I smiled again at the look on her face as she leaned to the side a little, gaining her balance without the training wheels.

           “I won’t,” Sam laughed.

           I closed my eyes and lifted my face toward the sun. The day was warm and peaceful. The soft rustle of windblown leaves was only interrupted every now and then by my daughter’s sweet giggles and squeals as Sam taught her how to ride.

           “Don’t be afraid. If you pedal too slowly, you’ll tip over.”

           The whir of the spokes hit my ears.

           “There you go. Good job!”

           I opened my eyes to see Sam still walking behind her, but without holding on to her seat. She was wide eyed and smiling, knuckles white as she gripped the handlebars. Sam hovered over her, ready to catch her if she fell. His face was full of pride as he watched her.

           “Daddy, I’m doing it! I’m doing it!” In her excitement, she swerved a little and the bike tipped. Sam was pulling her into his arms before she had a chance to panic.

           “You did it, baby! I didn’t even hold on that time!” He kissed her nose, and she kissed his nose in return. I loved the special little ritual that had developed between them. No one but Sam was allowed to kiss her nose.

           Two hours later, Sam and I were sitting on the concrete outside the bunker. I nestled between his long legs with my back against his chest and watched as our daughter rode her bike the length of it, getting braver and faster with each pass.

           We cheered her on, celebrating when she made it from one end to the other and jumping a little each time she wobbled over. She had her father’s coordination, fortunately, and even when she lost her balance she wasn’t hurt.

           As it grew late and the sun started to set, Sam took a deep, satisfied breath, put his arms around me, and kissed my hair. I laced my fingers through his.

           “She’s perfect, isn’t she?” I could hear the awe in his voice.

           “Yes. Our little family is perfect.”

           Dean’s voice sounded from the doorway. “Anyone want dessert? If you don’t come now, there won’t be any left.”

           “Uncle Dean! I can ride a bike!” She zipped by, laughing.

           “Look at you, princess! That’s awesome!”

           After a few minutes of running around with Dean and Sam, I watched with a full heart as the three of them walked into the house for a slice of pie.