God’s Plan By: Y. Black
Wow, I can’t believe it. You here. Look at you so beautiful. I been so anxious just to see your face. Damn look that’s my nose on ya face. “Damn it feels good to have you.” Cole said it best. These tears of joy one day you’ll have the pleasure to know. It’s crazy to know half you is exactly me. All these emotions, I’m beside myself. Look at the queen that birth you. She’s amazing and she’s going to love you unconditionally. She did so well. She’s so strong I hope you get that part of her traits. I never fathomed I’d be a dad, a surely to not be blessed with a beautiful woman like your mom to create a life with. And look at you head full of hair. Lungs blaring throughout the maternity ward. I guess you wanted the world to be sure of your arrival. Trust me baby for you there are no rivals. I just wish I was around to be your idol.
It would kill me to know I can’t raise you. Daddy won’t be there to bathe you. Show how much of a joy you are to see. Can’t admire your beauty as you sleep. Can’t stop looking at you all I see is me. Then I’m rushed with all thoughts of what won’t be. I won’t be there for your first words, or watch you stumble after your first steps. I had plans on teaching you to ride a bike, daddy daughter date nights. I poised to put my pride aside for you. There wouldn’t have been no doubts, you’d know daddy loves you. My entire reason for being would have be altered. But I’ve been robbed, no you’ve been robbed. Better yet we’ve been robbed.
They stole me from you my little angel. I had no clue I would only be allowed to be a spectator of your amazement. I hate this for us. It’s crazy, because I was out already spoiling you. See you had your momma craving Popeyes biscuits, a Chic-Fil-A samich, and to top it off her hood ass wanted an Arizona. I was on the home stretch, just needed to make it to the corner store and head home. Straight to the back, the lemon tea was awaiting me. I grabbed a fruit punch for me since I couldn’t resist. AS I turned back I heard the familiar click clack. A nigga had Shareef hemmed up, meanwhile I’m on stuck in the back. “Who else in this store? Why the fuck you keep looking in the back?” Shit, I’m just tryna make it to you mommy, and I’m caught up in the middle of an armed robbery. My heart was in my throat. Scared to breathe for fear a nigga might choke.
Then I heard it, ears ringing. Slight stinging. Looked down like damn nigga shot the fruit punch out my hand. Shit had my whole T-shirt red. But it didn’t explain why a nigga was feeling light in the head. All I could think about was you. How gorgeous you are. How you were already my everything. Then it hit me, my baby girl was going to have to live a life without me. I kind of felt like I was incessantly drowning. But I, looking at you from the other side you’re everything sweet pea. Just wish I was there to show you what you mean to me.