You know that feeling? The sensation of breaking the surface of the water, when your ears are buzzing and your lungs are starting to burn, and then suddenly… there’s just nothing but air, pure crisp air and blinding clarity.

That’s what the first real breath after a panic attacks feels like. For me, that first breath was Dean. It was his warm smell filling my nostrils, his arms wrapped around me tightly, his soft encouragements mumbled into my ear; he was my breakthrough.

I have never known greater peace than when I was going through hell in his embrace.

anonymous asked:

Could you do more daddy 5sos but with twins? Also, I can't stop reading your fics because they're perfect!!!!

A/N: Thank you so so much for the support and request

Michael: It still didn’t feel real that you just gave birth to not only one baby, but two. It had been a long and exhausting labor, you had to punch Michael awake at 3 in the morning and tell him five times that your water had broken and the babies were coming. Fifteen hours later you could finally see the two people had been taking over your body for the past nine months. Sleepily smiling down at the tiny bundle in your arms, smoothing the pink cap over her head Michaels mother had made for both girls. “It feels like a dream, doesn’t it?” You heard your husband question from across the room. Him sitting on the lumpy hospital couch while cradling your second newborn. The unavoidable grin brightening your face once again as you looked down at your daughter and shook your head. “I can’t believe they’re actually here. We have our own babies, Michael. We have two daughters now.” He got up and walked across you to sit next to you on the bed admiring the waking baby in your arms. “It seems like yesterday you were agreeing to start a family, and then the day at the doctors office when we heard two heartbeats. Now they’re here, and they are so beautiful. Just like you, I don’t think I will ever be able to thank you enough for giving me everything I’ve ever wanted. Our family is perfect.” He finished his speech with a small kiss on your lips and laughing at your teary expression. Taking the small girl out of your arms and into his, bringing her next to her sister and examining their faces. “You know I think they look like the perfect mix of the two of us.” You said, wrapping your hand around your bicep and kissing his shoulder before laying your head on it. “They’re the perfect symbol of our love now. I love you so much, you’re the perfect mum.” He said leaning his forehead on yours, smiling when you tilted your head to peck his lips. “I’m so lucky that my girls have the perfect father. I love you too.”

Calum: You tried your hardest to suppress a groan when you heard the cries echo from your baby monitor. It was only four in the morning and this was the seventh time one of your newborns had woken you up. It was difficult to adjust to have newborn twins in your house, destroying your sleep schedule, but you wouldn’t change a single thing about your family. You could barely open your eyes as you sat up in bed, feeling the pressure of a hand pushing you back down. Peeking one eye to look at your husband, “You need sleep babe, I’ll take care of them.” Squeezing his hand in thanks you snuggled into your pillow and mumbled, “If you hurry her cries won’t wake him up too.” Smiling as you heard the quick patter of his feet travel down the hall. As hard as you tried you couldn’t fall asleep without the warmth of Calum’s body and you preferred to sleep to the sound of his heartbeat lulling you. The cries had stopped a few minutes ago yet he hadn’t returned to bed. Padding down the hall you stopped in the doorway of the twins nursery. Calum’s back was facing you as he stood over the two cribs next each other, walking up and wrapping your arms around him from behind. Laying your cheek against his back, “I missed my cuddle buddy.” You said feeling the chuckles vibrate through his body as he reached down to stroke your sons cheek. “I just laid her down and couldn’t stop staring at them. They’re so tiny and perfect, and all ours. I thought I was going to pass out when the nurse said there were two heartbeats that day, but you were so calm. That’s how I knew everything was going to be ok, I knew that with you my family would be perfect. Because I have you to thank for everything.” He said pulling you into his side and wrapping his arms around you. “They are perfect, aren’t they?” You whispered gazing at the innocent sleeping babies, looking up see him smiling at you. “The perfect son and the perfect daughter with the most beautiful and perfect girl ever. I’m so damn lucky.”

Ashton: Your two sons were the spitting image of their father. The bright hazel eyes, the untamable curls, the deep dimples, the loud giggles, and of course the crazy energy. The identical twins didn’t do anything without each other, that also meant they both started crawling the same day. It was quite interesting to see your tall, muscular husband crawl around on all fours chasing after them and making growling noises. You laughed as you watched them stare at their daddy and make the cute little squeals at each other before crawling away from them. You decided to get down and play along with them, stopping in front of their path, smiling when they stopped and stared at you with blank faces. “I’m going to get you!” You exclaimed, their screeches echoing around your house as you shared a look with Ashton. Crawling towards them before they could figure out how to escape. Scooping up one of your eight month old boys and blowing raspberries on his neck, seeing Ashton do the same to your other son. Making eye contact with your baby as he lightly tapped your cheek, grabbing his tiny hand and kissing it. “I love my baby boy so much.” Leaning over to kiss the one in Ashton’s arms, “And of course you my boy too.” “I don’t know what we were thinking when we made two.” Ashton giggled as you rolled your eyes. “That’s a talk you need to have with your sperm my friend. I just did the carrying and giving birth to them part.” “You are the most incredible woman in the world. You married me, you gave me two amazing sons. I don’t think there’s enough words to explain how much I love you.” Smiling as your sons lost interest in their parents not paying attention to them and crawling away. “Well you’re a pretty amazing man too. You loved me enough to marry me, our sons are exactly like you and that’s all I could ever want. I’m so happy that I have you and I fall more in love with you every day” Grabbing his face to peck his lips a few times. “I am so madly in love with you.” He mumbled, pulling you closer to have a more passionate kiss.

Luke: Slowly opening your eyes and looking over you already noticed that Luke was awake. “Good morning sleeping beauty.” Rolling your eyes as he scooted closer and kissed your forehead. “How long have you been awake?” You questioned. “Just a few minutes. I’ve been thinking about what today is. I can’t believe it’s been a year.” Snuggling closer you laid your head on his chest and played with the fingers interlocked with yours. “I know. Our babies are a year old today. It feels just like yesterday we were seeing those two babies in there for the first time. You were so sure that both of them were going to be boys.” Running your hand over his bare chest you felt his heart beat a little faster. “I’m very happy with my princess though. And my prince of course. I could never forget my queen either.” You smiled as he placed another kiss on your head. “Shall we go get our birthday kids, my love?” Getting out of be and dragging Luke down the hall by his hand. Smiling as you realized both kids were awake and standing in their cribs. “Good morning my angels.” You said walking to your sons crib to pick him up as Luke did the same with your daughter. “My babies first birthday.” You couldn’t help letting a few tears leak down your cheeks, blushing as Luke gently wipe them away. “Babe don’t cry, it’s only their first birthday. They’re not going anywhere anytime soon.” “I know. I just kinda miss the days when they were so tiny and couldn’t do anything without me. Now they can walk ask for juice and I just want my little babies back.” You cried out, kissing the twins on their cheeks before burying your face into Luke’s chest. You had many more tears for the rest of the day, but they were happy tears. Even crying from laughing so hard as they managed to get cake all over each other and both you and Luke. That night all four of you were snuggling in your big bed. Sighing you made eye contact with Luke while he sang and you rubbed your tiny daughters back. “This has been the best year of my entire life.” You whispered, not wanting to wake your babies. “Becoming a father was the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me. It beats all the gigs, the award shows, the red carpets, the photo shoots. Everything I want or need is right here in this bed. I definitely didn’t think we would have twins when we started trying for babies but it’s amazing. So thank you for the most amazing year. I love you.” You mouthed I love you back and blushed as he reached for your hand and kissed each of your fingers.