dad zoned

  • Clint: this is my fun floating water base, I'm going to make a nice pirate reference and call it the Jolly Roger
  • His Awful Sons: no old man, it's called the 'Burg!

Travis: It was streaming on Witch.

Griffin: What- oh god, that’s good.

Travis: It’s like magical Twitch.

Griffin: Dad, Twitch is a service that-

Clint: I know what it is.

Travis: Do you? Explain it.

Griffin: Are you up there all the time? Dad’s climbing that Hearthstone ladder today on Twitch.

Clint: I do, I’m a Twitcher. I’m a big Twitcher.

Taako: That’s cause you don’t get enough potassium, my dude.

2

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays! I was going to mail these out as physical Christmas cards this year but my computer exploded and I didn’t have time (I only just finished them)! So just print them out, fold them in half and pretend I sent you one! 

Barry is banned from the kitchen because he threw eggs with parachutes off the second floor:

“Why in the FUCK would you waste my organic free range eggs??!!?” Lup asked,

Barry only nodded solemnly, quite drunk and under the influence of at minimum four (4) psychedelic substances, and then said,

“For Aerodynamics!” 

Magnus: Where do I need to like, sign up for my wrestling name?

Jess: We’ll figure it out backstage-

Magnus: I’ve already got it.

Jess: Okay, sit on that plot point for a-

Magnus: THEY CALL ME… i’Morko!

Jess: …What is that?

Magnus: It’s Elvish for ‘The Bear’. 

Travis: And I pull out my bear mask from Petals to the Metal and put it back on.

Clint: And he pulls out his dork mask and puts it on over the bear mask.

[Everyone laughs]

Magnus: ELVISH ISN”T DORKY, DAD!

  • Craig, trying desperately to appear straight in front of the softball moms: Like I say to the wife before I get into bed, make room for Craig! 'Cause, uh, Craig's here.

really the first listen thru i did not pay attention to merle dlfkjg like i liked him fine because clint is amazing and great. but taako was MY boy and also the lesbians were more important than anything ever. obvs

but this second listen thru like… god… i love merle… i thought he was just like, a sort of knockoff self insert (which i didnt mind bc clint is amazing and great!!!) but hes so… real… like i thought he was just this pathetic sort of goofball who wasnt as cool as taako or magnus but i guess thats because he doesnt have to be. hes such a No Regrets kind of character, except for the family thing, and his faith in pan and life and everything is so good, and uhuhuhuhu hes such a real ass character and i love merle fuck!!!