27. Part 6
Running down the steps “Chris please, don’t go” grabbing his jacket, he is hurting me so much because I am sorry and he is walking away from me, walking around him “I know you are drunk but please, listen to me and stay with me. I want to come with you” Chris placed his hand over my face “talk too much, open the door” he moved his hand away from my face “what the hell is happening? You will wake your mother!” my dad said, sucking back the tears that were going to fall “Chris is drunk dad” Blake said, Chris fell forward a little and held my shoulder “so where is he going?” my dad walked down the steps “pops, nigga we going” Chris slurred out “we going home” I can’t even shut him up “like this? Chris, you can’t go anywhere like this” my dad moved me out of the way “why don’t we do this tomorrow” my dad turned Chris around “no” Chris hit my dad’ hand away “she don’t love me, don’t you see. I can’t be here” my dad stared at Chris in confusion “what happened?” my dad asked, I couldn’t control myself and cried out “nah, nah I can’t!” Chris dropped the bag on the ground, trying to walk by my dad “I do love him, oh my god. Why is he doing this!? Why are you punishing me over something so small” I sobbed out “you know what Chris, I was thinking that I should take you. We ride together, you tell me everything about Rylee” my dad opened the front door, Chris dragged his feet walking out “what you doing dad?” tears fell “stay here, if he wants to go home then he will” my dad picked up Chris’ bag from the ground “his bodyguards could take him” Blake pointed saying.
I don’t why Blake is awake with me, I don’t even know why my dad went with Chris. He could’ve just let him go on his own, I am so hurt by Chris reacting this way with me when I barely did anything to him “why was Chris saying you don’t love him? Did y’all fight?” Blake finally asked, I knew he was waiting to ask this, flicking the tear that fell “he said I was flirting with Kyrie, I was just happy to see him. I touched his arm and he got upset about that, Chris is insecure that I will leave him and cheat” Blake let out an oh “then why do that? Shit is mind blowing that you got Chris Brown head over heels, like you got Chris Brown out here drunk because of you. I know my sister ain’t that beautiful” side eyeing him, my ears perked up hearing a car pulling up on the drive. Jumping off the couch and running to the window, pulling back the blinds “dad is back” moving back, did he drop Chris off.
Dragging the door open, stepping outside not caring about any shoes “put some shoes on” my dad pointed, looking inside the car “Chris is here?” I pointed confused “oh yeah, he fell asleep. I told his boys that he’s coming back here, that was the plan” my dad walked towards the car door, pulling it open “but he wanted to go” I am so happy to see him still here but he didn’t want to be here “and my daughter didn’t want him too, it’s the drink talking. You speak like adults, Blake come here and help me pick him out. I knew he would fall asleep, he told me how much he respected me and he loves me and then he said other things” Blake moved me out of the way “what other things?” stepping back, I want to know “be careful with him” he is such an idiot, he gets me so annoyed at times. My dad held his top half while Blake held Chris’ legs, opening the back door and seeing Chris’ bag. Picking the bag out of the car and closing the door, looking at the front seat just to see if nothing has fallen out of his pockets. Seeing some keys on the floor of the car, leaning into the car to pick them out. Looking down at the keys, these are his. He has a picture of Roro, smiling at the picture and turning it around. Took me by surprise seeing the picture of Chris and I, on our first date at a theme park. I look awful, he is so stupid. Kicking the door shut, I don’t know why he thinks I would cheat when I barely trust a man.
Walking into the living room “he’ll be ok here, I am going back to bed now” my dad said, placing the bag down on the floor “no, wait dad” turning to walk over to my dad “what else did he say? Don’t hide anything away from me” I would like to know if he said anything about me “he just said she don’t love me, I said my daughter adores you. He said he is not good enough for you, he says you are above him. I think in his mind he thinks you are so much more better and he is worthless. Just both of you work it out, be adults. I know you love him Rylee, whatever happened between you both it happened so look to the future. He’s a very emotional man, I thought you both broke up. He cried” my heart fell hearing that he cried, he really took what I did to heart for no reason at all. I just didn’t think his love was so deep, I mean ok I know he loves me but he is crazy in love with me but I just didn’t realise that it was this deep.
Scrunching my face up with my eyes closed, hearing my phone ring again. Groaning out in pain, my head and this sound. Turning around “fuck” my body fell to the ground “oh dear, be careful Chris” my eyes shot open hearing Rose, where am I. Staring at the ceiling and then hearing my phone ringing again. Patting pants, digging into my pocket and grabbing my phone. Looking at the caller I.D and answering the call “Nia” my mouth is so dry, oh dear god and my head “where are you?” closing my eyes, placing my hand on my head “I have no idea” looking to the side of me, Rose is watching TV “New Jersey” I said, I am sure I was making my way home “oh wow, so do you want to say to Royalty that you are not coming? You said you was taking her to Ballet class, she is waiting!” Nia is being loud “sorry, I just had a long night” holding the phone away from my ear “upsetting our daughter that wanted you, you piece of shit!” she screamed down the phone, looking up at Rylee “you a real piece of shit, you fucking told my daughter that you would be here. She is fucking asking for you, she will know how useless you are!” Nia is so loud, bringing the phone to my ear “sorry ok” disconnecting the call “breakfast on the table” Rylee said before walking off, sighing out closing my eyes, I feel sick.
Pushing the plate away, I feel sick even looking at that. The smell of food alone is making me want to puke “you need to just eat the food, that way it will disappear” Nathan said as he walked into dining room “why did I drink again?” I asked “you wanted too, you drank that lean like it was nothing too and then smoked all of our blunts” staring all wide eyed “I did?” I spat “he did!?” Rylee said too, I don’t even want to deal with that at all “uh yeah, it was cool” Nathan waved it off “cool? Cool!? He had a seizure last time so no, it’s not fucking cool. He’s not allowed that shit and he promised me that he would stop, how could you” Rylee’ voice is giving me a more of a headache “I need to go, thanks for all this” getting up from the seat “I can talk to you now, you are you. Drunk Chris no, but if you leave then don’t expect me to come running back to you. You can run away all you want but I know you will be calling me to come home soon, I won’t come home. If you can’t be an adult about this then don’t expect me to come home, decide now” Rylee came into my eye-view, I don’t want that either. Shaking my head sitting back down.
Looking at the caller I.D, has Nia called to cuss me out again “what” I said down the phone, eating some of the bread “silly!!” Royalty said down the phone “talk to him, it’s dad” I could hear Nia say in the background “baby, talk to me” Royalty giggled “what you doing ugly?” she is about to just be stupid and I am still tired as shit “where are you” she asked me “I’m sorry, I am working you know how I get busy with work baby. I honestly miss you so much, I am sorry” I feel bad because I did promise her I would see her “awwww no, I dance daddy” smiling as I closed my eyes “I can’t wait to see that Roro, I honestly miss you. I will be home soon, are you upset with me?” I need to fix myself up and go back to LA “no, I love you” a smile formed on my face “I love you too, you better show them how it’s done” I miss her little face so much.
I feel a little more refreshed now, I know what I need to do and that is speak to Rylee but I don’t really want to speak either because I am a little upset still. I need to man the hell up and get on with this talk, closing the bedroom door behind me “hope the hangover cleared up” Harvey said, looking down the hall “oh, yeah it kinda has” Harvey chuckled at me “you were something else drunk, you talk a lot too. Did you speak to my daughter yet?” shaking my head silently “it’s scary being in love Chris, it’s a scary feeling to have. I understand where you are coming from, I am so in love with Rose that I know if anything happens to her then I am gone with her, I can’t stand to be on this earth without her. She is my other half, she makes me complete. You remind me of me, I ran away from Rose a few times because I was like what is this, a big guy like me in love? What is that, talk and open up with each other and whatever my daughter did doesn’t mean she don’t love you. I know she loves you, she even left her job for you which I am not really happy about but she wants you happy so there is that, Rose told her to follow her heart and she did. Just please, both talk. You have the house to yourselves, I am taking Rose for her appointment” I am now wondering what the fuck I said while drunk, he has said all of this to me.
Sitting down on the couch across from Rylee, I have a feeling Rylee is about to drag me or maybe tell me what a dick I am. How can one woman be so beautiful without even trying, she is above me and it’s wild how she don’t even know it. If I was a female and this beautiful, I think I would be a hoe but she isn’t. Frowning a little, she really isn’t a hoe “what are you thinking?” Rylee said breaking my train of thoughts “thinking about what you thinking about” I shrugged saying “right, I am thinking what an idiot my future husband is, or if he wants to be with me anymore because I flirted with a man, a guy I knew from university. Ok I got a little taken back by his face, he is beautiful and I am sure you find other girls beautiful” rolling my eyes shaking my head “I actually don’t, you are the most beautiful girl I have been with” Rylee shook her head “no, that is a lie. You had beautiful girls” licking my lips “had!” I spat “I had! Until I met you but I don’t think that about anyone because now I have got you there is nobody else, if you think he is beautiful what am I? Ugly?” I am a little offended “wow Chris, no. I don’t think you’re ugly at all” why do I find myself getting so angry at this, I hate talking about this situation.
I am annoyed already “it’s fine, I am not good enough for you” looking down at my tee, I think I am done speaking now “really Chris? Really? Not good enough for me?” she pointed at herself “since when did Chris Brown get so sensitive, I met you and your confidence was sky fucking high and now you’re speaking to me like a defeated man. What is this Chris? I feel like I have changed you for the worsw” looking down at my hands, I don’t know what to say to her because I rather not “is it because I called another man beautiful? Is that what it is? Chris please stop being like this with me” Rylee pleaded with me “I don’t know what you want me to say?” I find it hard to even look at Rylee sometimes “I am in love and I don’t know how to handle it, I don’t think I am doing well at this love thing at all. The feeling of being scared is playing hard on me all the time, I am scared to lose you. If I lose you then what do I have? Then you find another man attractive, you probably see more in that then me. All I can give you is money” Rylee stared at me in shock “no, how can you think that!? You gave me your heart. I have realised that your heart is mine and I know you’re scared of that, Chris I don’t want you to feel like this. I would do anything for you and you know it, I left my job for you. Living with you, looking after Royalty for you. I love her because I love you and you think I want Kyrie? You are the man that loved a broken woman like me that did not want a man, you loved me for my scars and not my looks. Just like I showed you how to love, you also showed me how to love, I don’t understand why you think I would cheat on you. Trusting another man to touch me like that? I barely let you touch me” sighing out heavily.
Looking up at Rylee “this! What we have Chris is scary, I am scared just as much as you are. I am overprotective of you but I don’t like to know you think I am above you, I am in no way shape or form above you. I am not anybody else’s, I am yours. I am marrying you, I am engaged to you Chris. I am going to have friends Chris but I don’t want you to think I am out there to cheat, I am not even thinking that at all, I love you” Rylee got up from the couch “I feel like an idiot anyways, I have become a little bitch” Rylee sat next to me “no, don’t think that. Stop it, you have just changed and I like this Chris but I don’t like the insecure Chris because that is not you. Love has really got to you, trust me I am not going anywhere. We need to be as one Chris and more strong” Rylee held my hand “drink lean again I will leave you, if you die the fuck am I going to do? You want a baby then you need to stop this shit, I am changing and so do you” nodding my head “I am sorry Rylee, I fucked up because I let my fear get in the way, I put my guard up” Rylee bought my hand up to her lips, pressing a kiss to my hand “let’s look to the future” stroking Rylee’ cheek “have you finished your period now? I think you have, can we have sex now” Rylee giggled “I need a wax, we not doing anything until I am clean” I want sex now “just wait on it” Rylee winked at me.