dab dish

the signs as things my dad has said (part 3)
  • aries: *continuously refers to uber as an "escort service"*
  • taurus: [to himself, after catching a pickle he dropped midair] great catch daddio
  • gemini: [in response to our dog barking] ....you don't say
  • cancer: [to me after i dabbed to his "dish washing music"] shut up
  • leo: [every time his phone rings] a REAL phone call? in THIS day and age? where are my TWEETS
  • virgo: [pulling over every time we pass something metal on the side of the road] but what if it's treasure
  • libra: would you look at that moon...that's large
  • scorpio: *sneezes* im allergic to working
  • sagittarius: [spoken during a verbal conversation] colon parenthesis
  • capricorn: *calls four way flashers on cars [dramatic voice] DANGER BEAMS*
  • aquarius: [completely seriously, in response to my sister asking why our dog was barking] he's just nervous about the election
  • pisces: *inexplicably called me Karen for a whole day*