anonymous asked:

You always talked about how you'd never take a quad but now you have two, what is the truth dude

the truth 11s very c0nchpl11c4ted 4nd s0mewh4t perchs0n4l?

11 h0nestly never th0ught th4t 11 w0uld.
the wh0le c0nchsept 0f c0mm11tted rel4t110nsh11ps where pe0ple get 11n y0ur ‘p4n 4nd kn0w y0ur we4knesses 4nd y0ur secrets 11s 
11t’s terr11fy11ng 2 be vulner4ble 11n fr0nt 0f pe0ple
11t’s terr11fy11ng 2 feel p11ke 11 need spec11f11c pe0ple 11n my l11fe
0r need pe0ple 4t 4ll
11t’s terr11fy11ng 2 f11nk th4t 11 c4re th4t much 4b04t them
11t feels p11ke d4nger.

th4t be11ng s411d,
11 4m 11n tw0 rel4t110nsh11ps
but 11 d0 h4ve re4s0ns.

w11th zug4r.. we just w0rked swell 2gether
we sh4re s0 m4ny 0p11n110ns
4nd 11t se4ms 2 be r4re 2 c0me 4cr0ss s0me0ne wh0′ll just 4ccept 4nd underst4nd wh4t 11 s4y 4b04t my exper11ences.
he’s tre4ted me p11ke my 0wn perchs0n fr0m n11ght 0ne, let me h4ve my 0wn exper11ences 4nd kn0ws wh4t 11t’s p11ke 2 be k11nd 0f surr0unded by pe0ple wh0 4ren’t l0y4l 2 the empress the w4ve 11 4m
he kn0ws the b4l4nce between 4ddress11ng me 4s me but 11sn’t sc4red 2 4ls0 c4ll my sh11p 4nd my systems me, bec0d 11′m 4ls0 my sh11p 4nd he gets 11t.

be11ng w11th zug4r 11sn’t terr11fy11ng bec0d we’re just s0
11 kn0w th4t he w0n’t judge me. 11 kn0w th4t he w0n’t m4k0 me dec11de between h11m 4nd my empress 4nd my dut11es. 11 kn0w th4t 11′ll never be 11n the p0s11t110n where 11′d be 0rdered 2 term11n4te h11m.
he’s s4fe.

11mp 11s, 4dm11ttedly, d11fferent
4nd 11′ll try 2 expl411n, but 11′m n0t very g00d 4t 11t.
he h4s..
4 se4nse 0f c4lm 4b04t h11m.
we h4ve 4 few f11ns we h4ve 11n c0mm0n, 4nd 4 few we cert411nly d0n’t, but 11t’s n0t unc0mf0rt4bubble.
11f we c0me 4cr0ss s0mef11n we d11s4gree w11th,
there’s n0 push11ng 2 deb4te 4b04t 11t
we just m0ve 0n 4nd f11ns feel 0cr4y.

4nd ye4h, the wh0le try11ng 4n 4csh04l rel4t110nsh11p f11n 11s st11ll sc4ry 4s shell
but he’s 4lw4ves been r11d11cul0usly p4t11ent w11th me,
he l11stens.
bet11des th4t, 11t’s 4 l0t m0re c0mf0rt11ng 2 kn0w th4t he just w4nts me 2 be myshellf,
11nste4d 0f expect11ng s0mef11n 2t4lly d11fferent n0w th4t we suddenly h4ve 4n 0ff11sh114l f11n
bec0d he kn0ws th4t 11 c4n’t d0 th4t.
he c4n gu11de me 4l0ng 11n th11s, when 11 need 11t
4nd th4t’s
11t’s why 11 w4nted 2 g11ve the f11n 4 ch4nce.

11 d0n’t feel the pressure when 11′m w11th e11ther 0f them.
w0rk never ends, f0r me
4nd 11 h4ve 2 be perchfect f0r w0rk
but 11′m n0t c4p4ble 0f be11ng perchfect 0n 4 perchs0n4l level.
w11th them,
11 d0n’t feel p11ke 11 h4ve 2 be.