the-girl-whos-waiting-96 is back biddies! And I’ve got a holiday recap for y'all!! Grab your hot chocolate, Santa hats, dreidels, and lutefisk because here we gooooo
We open on some lovely piano music playing over shoppers buying gifts. We also see Binky getting gifts hand delivered from a toy shop to his doorstep, which always confused me. I mean I understand his relatives shipping gifts to his house, but these are hand delivered by a guy in an elf costume. Is this a thing? Does this happen?
One of the shoppers, Bitzi Baxter, drops a small present and a stranger kindly returns it to her. This puts us in the Christmas mood as we move on to Casa de Read where we are treated with a surprise song. Yes, this episode is a semi-musical, meaning there are musical numbers but not very many. Also the songs just sort of show up in the special like uninvited yet unexpectedly pleasant dinner guests. No one saw them coming, but no one is upset over their arrival.
During the musical fantasy Arthur describes his vision of a perfect Christmas featuring a ton of snow, a traditional dinner with 17 types of pie (dayyyum son), and a huge tree decorated perfectly with absolutely NO TINSEL. I never really understood Arthur’s loathing of tinsel. In the fantasy DW tries to put on a bunch of tinsel but Arthur tells her to get that bitch ass shit out of his face and then he punches her again. Truly a perfect Christmas.
When the song concludes, DW comes in bitching about how Arthur has to write her letter to Santa for her since there are only three days until Christmas and time’s a wasting! Dis bitch. If she wanted to guarantee presents from Santa she should’ve mailed that shit months ago. What a scrub. As DW laments over how she should greet Santa in the letter Arthur tells us that everything will be “Almost perfect” this Christmas and resists the urge to deck DW.
The next morning as the kids are on their way to school an ad for Tina the Talking Tabby plays, an annoying toy DW desperately wants for Christmas. She asks her mom if Santa will get it for her and Jane responds with a “I don’t know we’ll just have to wait and see” accompanied by some foreboding music. Sorry DW the foreshadowing just screwed you out of a toy.
At school Muffy boasts to Francine about her party and when Francine tries to tell Muffy she can’t go, Muffy runs off to invite George.
I guess this is one of those gotta-invite-the-whole-class kind of parties.
Francine rants to Arthur that she can’t attend the party because her family is celebrating the last night Hanukkah. Arthur suggests a direct approach so Francine walks right up to Muffy and declares, “Muffy I am not going to your party tomorrow”. However, Muffy ignores her and talks about the band she hired. Dis bitch.
In class, I guess Ratburn gave up on a lesson plan because George describes a tradition from Sweden where they have a parade early in the morning of December 13th in which people follow the Queen of lights. This is a real St. Lucy’s day celebration in Sweden. Afterwards George tries to pass around the Lutefisk, fish that’s been tried and boiled that his grandparents sent him. Of course Buster is the only one to eat it. See George? This is how you ruin a lesson about your culture, by saving the worse for last! This is why you’re left out of the promotional stuff. (Although the ornaments on his antlers are adorable)
Next Binky presents his attempt at a pecan pie, since he’ll be making dessert for the homeless shelter this year. Everyone is excited to try it, until they learn that Binky hasn’t shelled the pecans! Was no one supervising him when he made this? Ratburn pulls a real dick move here by making the class think there’s no homework then psyching them out by assigning a 5 page essay on what they did over break. WTF five pages? That is crap Ratburn, there is no way they’ll be able to fill up five pages on that shit.
After class, Buster tells Arthur that ever since the divorce, every year his mom keeps waking him up everyday for about a week until the 25th thinking it’s Christmas. After Buster tells her the correct date, she goes back to bed. He knows that his mom is only doing this to compensate for Buster’s dad not being there. Damn, this kid is pretty smart for his age, if only he would study.
Outside Muffy has donned a princess outfit and is announcing her epic party to all through the sunroof of her limo. Didn’t she already invite everyone in person? Guess she just wants to toot her own horn! (Pun intended) She tells Francine to come early to help her set up, and Francine once again tells Muffy that she can’t come and is once again ignored.
Arthur and his mom go last minute shopping at the over crowded mall with too many Christmas displays. They agree to meet back at one of the candy cane displays in an hour. Wait, hold up, this kid is only 9 and he’s allowed to wander around by himself? What the fuck Jane?!
Arthur tries to get the perfect gift for everyone on his list, which only consists of his parents apparently. I guess DW and the grandparents get the cold shoulder. Arthur wants to get his dad the veginator, a kitchen tool that can do practically anything which is only $5.99 due to the 1950’s prices! Before Arthur can even ask if the store has a veginator the employee tells him they’re sold out but offers Uncle Niko’s olive de-pitter and even throws in the olives for free. Arthur then spots the perfect gift for his mom, an exact replica of the glass bird he broke last summer. This is an ongoing gag in the show, and I think this is where it originated.
Having purchased the last gift from a bitchy cashier for only $9.59! Why can’t I live in a world with 1950’s prices? Arthur has to go through the hell that is the toy store to get to his mom all while the annoying Tina the Talking Tabby ad is playing. It’s pretty intense. When they meet up his mom explains that she got almost everything on her list but there was just one thing that was all sold out…HMMM I WONDER WHAT IT COULD BE!!!
Back at Casa de Read Jane explains to DW over a plate of cookies that Santa can’t always give kids what they want. DW thinks it’s because she’s been bad but Jane lies to her face and says that she hasn’t been bad at all, but before she can continue with her bullshit explanation DW concludes that it’s because Arthur wrote her letter all wrong. Jane doesn’t bother to correct her, so i guess she’s fine with throwing Arthur under the bus for this one.
David comes in with Uncle Fred’s video christmas card! Ah yes, good ol’ Uncle Fred, the character whose only appearance is in this special and is then promptly left out of the rest of the series, which is a shame because Fred is awesome. (I just looked it up, apparently he’s mentioned once in season 18) Fred says in the tape that he can’t be with them this Christmas because he and his dog Rory are going to Florida! What kind of hotel allows giant ass dogs? The tape gets interrupted by Rory eating the camera. The kids laugh about their uncle and joke about how last christmas he stepped on the tea set David got for Jane. How do you step on an entire tea set like wtf?
The family has a traditional Christmas dinner before Christmas because David wants to have an authentic Christmas dinner this year with food people might have actually eaten in Bethlehem when Jesus was born. Arthur thinks that sounds like a load of suck but tries not to let it show in front of his father, since David doesn’t need anymore disappointment in his life.
At the Baxter Residence, Bitzi wakes Buster up thinking it’s Christmas when it’s only the 23rd. She puts the presents away once more and says that she “just can’t wait for the holidays to be over” 😞
Thinking Arthur has failed her
, DW mails her own letter to Santa at the mailbox next to the Tibble house. We cut to Muffy’s Christmas party where things are in high gear as the band sings to have “a boogie woogie Christmas and a rocking and reeling New Year”. I demand a full version of this song. For some reason Mr.Ratburn is there. Ok weird. Wow this literally is an everyone-in-class-gets-invited kind of party.
Arthur bitches about the lack of snow even though Christmas is tomorrow, Brain responds by saying that technically no one really knows what day Jesus was born on, boring him with facts and Arthur tells him to stuff it. Muffy announces that the time has come to give out presents and there is one for everyone at the party. Wait…so she invited like everyone in the school, how many gifts does she have?! When Francine doesn’t come to collect her gift, Muffy angrily calls her in front of everyone, demanding to know where she is. Francine explains that she told her 28 times that she couldn’t come because of Hanukkah. Muffy says “it’s not like Hanukkah is as important as Christmas” and Francine hangs up on her bitch ass.
Arthur and Brain find Buster sleeping on his cake, and tell him that maybe he and his mom shouldn’t celebrate Christmas since it just makes him tired. They suggest Buster create his own holiday, Brain, the human textbook, says that he celebrates Kwanza which wasn’t a holiday until 1966. Brain’s only function in this special is to spout facts.
Buster fantasizes about Baxter day, which is the chillest holiday of all time. Stop whatever you’re doing, let me hear you say today is Baxter day!
Buster likes the idea but thinks his mom will never go for it. Meanwhile Mr. Ratburn tries Binky’s brownies which he neglected to put sugar in. Who is allowing this child to bake?!
Arthur comes home to find that tragedy has struck! DW has decorated half of the tree and it’s NOT FOLLOWING TRADITION!!!
Jane lets Arthur decorates the top half the way he wants, but he whines that it’s still weird. On the way to church Arthur begs his dad to change the station when the Tina the Talking Tabby ad plays. Without skipping a beat, David puts in the Crazy Bus tape. David is such a douche. After church, Arthur tries Binky’s banana bread which I guess he’s just been carrying around in his pocket or something? Somehow Binky forgot to peel the bananas. HOW HAS HE NOT BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN AT THIS POINT?!
DW insists that she and Arthur make sure everything is set for Santa’s arrival: no fire in the fire place, cookies and milk, and even water for his reindeer. As a snowflake falls in Arthur’s hand he thinks it’s finally going to snow but it rains because the universe hates him. Arthur awakes after hearing a loud crash outside and comes downstairs to find that Uncle Fred has crashed into their fence and has to spend the night since no one can fix his car until after Christmas.
Fred’s dog Rory chases Pal around the house and manages to snag the gift Arthur got for Jane and runs off with it. Arthur and Pal cause Rory around the house, they get the gift back just before it breaks because Arthur Read don’t take shit from nobody. He puts the gift in the upstairs closet to prevent another mishap and goes to bed.
It’s Christmas morning and DW runs to wake everyone up when she notices Uncle Fred shaving in the bathroom and thinks it’s Santa. But when she goes to show her dad, Arthur is in the bathroom peeing! Pretty sure this is the most adult joke this show has ever gotten away with! DW saw her brother’s ding-a-ling!!!! (Editor’s note: That moment was 100% intense.)
At the Baxter residence, Buster is the one to wake his mom up this time because it’s actually Christmas! Bitzi gets nervous that she accidentally bought Buster a toy he already has but Buster explains that they are two different characters entirely. Duh mom!
Unfortunately Bitzi manages to burn the pancakes and Buster tries get her to mellow out. Just give her some of your stash and this will be over in like 10 seconds Buster!
At the Crosswire abode Muffy excitedly goes to play with her 37 presents, but laments that she won’t be able to play with Francine because of their fight. Oh woe is her! Who will she brag to now? Another fantasy song sequence starts as Muffy imagines Francine basically being her bitch at playtime. Clearly their friendship is one of high value.
Back at Casa de Read everyone is about to exchange gifts when Arthur runs up to get his mom’s gift, fantasizing about how everyone will know he’s perfect after this. He’ll even get a balloon in a hero parade! (No one tell him that his balloon was cut from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade). But when Arthur reaches for the present it falls over and breaks. Wait a minute, so you’re telling me that this thing can survive being bounced around in the toy store and chewed on by a dog without a scratch, but a littlet fall takes it down?! That is bogus!
We cut away to see Bitzi has taken Buster to a fancy restaurant for brunch to make up for burning the pancakes. The place is cleverly called “La Bruchenie- A Fancy Place For Brunch” subtle. Buster tries to tell his mom not to make a big deal over christmas but chickens out.
Going back to Casa de Read, Arthur is crying because he broke his mom’s bird again and thinks he ruined Christmas. Fred goes to comfort his nephew convincing him to come back downstairs.
In the Muffy storyline we see her eating her feelings at the Brain’s ice cream shop, better known as the lesser Sugar Bowl. They’re open because Kwanza doesn’t start until the 26th. Okay, I understand that the Powers family doesn’t celebrate Christmas, but having their shop open is just a bad business practice. They have to pay to run the electricity- the lights, the air conditioning, etc. on a day they’ll be lucky to get any customers, because
a) it’s Christmas and b) it’s December, most people don’t want ice cream when it’s cold outside Wait a minute…do the Powers even pay Brain? He’s the only employee! Does the time loop cancel out child labour laws?
Once again back at Casa de Read we see everyone opening presents, and the Read family is struck with another tragedy as DW gets a talking duck instead of Tina the Talking Tabby and throws a tantrum until the duck talks and she finds that she loves it.
Arthur imagines what will happen if he tells his mom the truth, his family will hate him! Binky crashes his fantasy trying to get Arthur to try his shitty ass peach cobbler. In reality Fred has Arthur take the credit for his gift to Jane, the tea set Fred broke last Christmas! And a miracle tow truck shows up to get Fred the fuck out of the series.
We then head to the Frensky home where the Crosswires have come bearing ham. A fucking ham. To a Jewish family. White people.
Muffy apologizes to Francine and Francine explains why Hanukkah is so important to her and why Muffy is a piece of shit for ignoring her when she said she couldn’t go. Muffy realizes she sucks and they all go to the movies!
Back at the fancy Baxter brunch as Bitzi goes over the day’s schedule, Buster interrupts saying that Christmas doesn’t have to be a big deal, in fact they could celebrate their own holiday, Baxter Day! Bitzi is 100% down to clown and they go celebrate Baxter Day.
Transition to Christmas dinner at Casa de Read and Arthur is surprised that the dinner doesn’t completely suck ass. As Fred leaves the series–I mean, house- -Grandpa Dave gives him a ride hitting the fence on the way out. Nice. It finally snows and Arthur is over the moon as he sings the final song and we get a glimpse of what the other families of Elwood City are doing. George’s family is partying it up Swedish style
Brain’s family is getting amped for Kwanza
Binky’s family is working at the homeless shelter where he feeds the homeless store bought cookies pretending he made them! What a sneak!
Ratburn is planning all of his tests for next year because his family disowned him long ago and he has no friends…festive!
The Frenskys and Crosswires are living it up at the movies
And the Baxters are looking for Doctor Who
We rejoin Arthur as he reiterates the moral of the story through song. “Sometimes the thing you hope for isn’t the thing you get. But after today, I just have to say, this was the best Christmas yet!”
DW interrupts the moment with her annoying ass duck, and Arthur breaks the fourth wall wishing us all Happy Holidays, before going back inside to beat DW over the head with her duck. It may not have been what he expected but it was Arthur’s Perfect Christmas.
Grade: A (This is honestly one of my favorite holiday specials from any show, I love that it celebrates all sorts of holidays rather than being all about Christmas. The morals are ones that I feel everyone needs to be reminded of every holiday season. The songs are fun and silly but unnecessary as they don’t drive the plot forward at all. Baxter Day steals the show.)
Rating: 200% intense Forgotten Uncle Fred is intensely cool!!!
Arthur Recap Season 7 Episode 6 Pick A Car, Any Car
The Read family is causing a traffic jam because the Read Family Fun Bus has broken down in the middle of the road. Arthur explains that the family car holds so many memories for him. It was the car he rode in as a baby, the car he and D.W. shared snacks in, and the car he played with Pal in.
“I guess you could say I grew up in this car,” says Arthur. He looks worriedly at David and Jane, who are inspecting the engine. “I sure hope Dad can fix it!” he says.
The Reads take the car to the mechanic, who informs them that they’ll need to make costly repairs. At dinner, David complains that it would cost more to fix the Read Family Fun Bus than to buy a new car. D.W. gets excited about the prospect of buying a new car and imagines a unicorn themed camper while David imagines a black all-terrain SUV that can transport any delicate cakes across bumpy roads. Jane imagines a cherry red roadster to speed off into the distance away from her family and their obligations.
Wow. Guys, do you think Jane is unhappy in her marriage?
Anyway, Arthur is the only one vehemently opposed to buying a new car.
David and Jane tell Arthur that if they can’t sell the car, it will probably be sent to the junkyard. We know Arthur has had bad experiences with the junkyard (see Arthur’s knee) and you know he won’t be able to stand sending the Read Family Fun Bus there. He has a nightmare where he tries to break out the car from the junkyard but the evil mechanic crushes it.
I’m surprised any sardine cans didn’t make an appearance either.
Anyway, I guess the Fun Bus is good enough to sell since the mechanic comes by in the morning to put a for sale sign on it. Now the Reads head over to Crosswire Motors to pick out a new car and Ed Crosswire shows off to his flunkies on the art of making a sale.
I want to make a note that the leader board says Ed has made 50 sales while his four other employees haven’t made any. Maybe he needs to call in Alec Baldwin for a motivating pep talk.
David makes the rule that they won’t buy a car unless they all like it. This turns out to bite him in the ass because Arthur finds something wrong with every car they find. Ed even recruits Muffy to close the sale and she offers Arthur a ride in a car from one of the lots to tempt him. Arthur sees right through her and insists he doesn’t want a new car, no matter what. “You don’t understand! That car was like a member of our family!” he tells her.
Muffy points out that cars get replaced all the time (which is a valid point) but Arthur feels insulted and insists on walking the rest of the way.
Back at Casa de Read, Arthur glumly watches David sell the Read Family Fun Bus to the mechanic. Buster is there and the two hear a weird rattling noise coming from the engine. “I wish I knew what it was,” says Arthur. “Then maybe I could save the car!”
This gives Buster an idea and and he tells Arthur to have a phone, a radio, and lemon water on standby the next day before the mechanic comes to pick up the car.
The next day, Buster reveals his plan: they will call into Car Talk, an NPR Peabody award winning radio show about automotive repair, who might be able to help. Arthur explains his situation to the hosts, who are pretty friendly and funny. The mechanic arrives in the middle of his phone call and the Car Talk guys get serious. They don’t like the sound of a mechanic making house calls and tell Arthur that they can’t help him unless they can hear what sounds the car is making. With the lemon water and ice, Buster does a good impression of the engine noise and the Car Talk guys suggest there is a rattle–a literal one–in the tailpipe.
Arthur breaks up the sale between David and the mechanic to tell them that he is on the phone with the Car Talk guys. The mechanic gets a little panicked when he hears that and tries to convince David that he doesn’t have a tailpipe to check. With the Car Talk Guys’ help, David figures out where it is and pulls out Baby Kate’s rattle.
“I guess that could be the source of your problems,” admits the mechanic sheepishly and goes away. David and Jane are thankful to Arthur for saving them a lot of money and offer him the reward of his choice. Arthur just asks for a ride in the Read Family Fun Bus. Aw.
It’s a happy ending for now but we all know that sometime within the next five years or so, the Fun Bus is going to break down for good and then Arthur will really have to pick a car–any car.
Grade: A+ (I really shouldn’t give this such a high grade because there are a lot of plot holes. The Car Talk radio’s wiki page states that they screened callers days in advance and recorded segments before their broadcast so there’s no way that Arthur, even if he did manage to beat other callers, would be able to receive live advice. However, Tom and Ray Magliozzi (aka the Car Talk Guys) were really fun guest stars so I did up the grade for that. Additionally, since the mechanic did not find the rattle in the tailpipe (even though it was in an obvious place), only offered David $200 for the car, and got panicked when the Car Talk guys were mentioned, I assume that the guy was a scammer, which makes this episode even more intense. Plot holes aside, this was a fun episode and I can’t bring myself to dock points for that. I will add that a sardine can reference in the junkyard scene would have made this an A++.)
Rating: 100% intense. Unintentionally helping your family avoid a scammer and saving the family car is intense.
Arthur Recap Season 10 Episode 5 Part 2 Flaw and Order
I fucking love it how children’s television shows sneak in (or not sneak in, perhaps the better word is “include”) references to “grown up” shows like “Law & Order”. The same topics aren’t exactly addressed–I mean, I don’t even think the word “murder” exists in Elwood City, let alone the actual crime. But the themes of mystery, investigation, false accusations are included which makes this something parents can enjoy with their children.
Maybe that’s why I’m 21 and still watching Arthur. Curse you, Arthur writers for writing such clever episodes!
In a 1920s English mystery setting, Buster and Arthur have gathered the gang to inform them that they have solved the mystery. They do that whole “was it YOU?” to everyone in the room which reminds me of this random scene from Spice Girls where Baby Spice realizes she could probably get away with murder with her cute smile.
Anyone before the culprit is revealed, the lights go out and Buster screams because he dropped his cake.
Well, that’s a reason to scream if I ever heard one.
Arthur and Buster are playing catch outside of Casa de Read when they hear David let out an agonizing groan. What happened? Did David finally realize his son has been in the third grade for ten years? Did he have a meltdown because he watched Guy Fieri host another cooking show on Food Network?
Actually, it turns out the very expensive cake plate he special ordered for the Johnson event has been chipped. David asks if anyone knows what happened and Arthur swears he and Buster are innocent. However, D.W. has video tape evidence that says otherwise.
Well, sort of. The video itself is bad but the audio clearly captures Arthur and Buster playing catch inside the house and then the plate breaking. David sternly tells Arthur that he shouldn’t have lied but Arthur swears he is innocent.
David has to go back to work aka catch a marathon of Guy’s Grocery Games so Arthur must prove his innocence before the end of the day!
Arthur and Buster decide to find the true culprit so they track down the only person they can think of who likes to destroy things: Binky.
Except Binky points out that he was nowhere near their house when the crime occurred and tells them to get detective lessons. Buster’s detective skills are rusty so they turn to the only other person in the cast who has that same character trait: Fern. Fern is mostly useless–she reads them Sherlock Holmes quotes but she does give the useful suggestion “return to the scene of the crime”.
The boys don’t notice anything weird but Buster gets the bright idea to take the tape to an analyst–Brain.
Brain shows them that the plate damage is inconsistent with the damage from a baseball. Plus, the audio has this weird metallic “thunk” sound before the glass breaks. The boys decide that they need to figure out what made that thunk sound because that’s how the plate truly broke! And they need to do it fast, before David gets back!
The kids go back to the scene of the crime looking for the small and metallic object that could have made that thunk sound and find a watch. It has an engraving dedicated to Ms. Perske, the woman who delivered the cake plate. They go to her shop but Ms. Perske insists she never entered Casa de Read and must have lost her watch outside.
Wait, so how could a watch that got lost outside end up in the Read living room?
The boys turn to Fern about how can this be but she just reads them another useless Sherlock quote before finally telling them that even the most absurd explanation can be the truth.
Arthur decides that they need to get some proof and they go outside Casa de Read, trying to figure out how the watch got inside the house. A pebble smacks Buster in the face and the kids realize that a loose manhole cover has been causing objects to fly up. That’s how the cake plate got chipped!
Arthur and Buster video tape their findings and make a big presentation to David at Casa de Read. David apologizes to Arthur and thanks him for the detective work. Then Ms. Perske shows up with a replacement cake plate because Arthur showed her the tape too and she wants to apologize for the mess she accidentally caused.
However, she places the cake plate in the exact same place by the window where it got hit by the watch and guess what happens…another pebble flies in through the window!
This is truly a flaw in the order.
Grade: A+ (I like the detective work, the humor, and the Law & Order references)
Arthur is in the library book, reading a scary book to himself. Oh wait, it’s not a scary book. It’s a book of fairy tales. Ha-ha, what a punk. He gets scared by reading fairy tales. Even I don’t get scared by fairy tales anymore—not since I put in that nightlight in my room.
Arthur says that he used to think fairy tales were babyish but they’re actually really cool with tons of adventure, talking animals, horrifying depictions of sex and graphic violence. “The Brothers Grimm make Stephen King look like Stephanie Meyers,” says Arthur. He decides to tell us the story about how he got into fairy tales.
“Once upon a time, there was a boy named Arthur whose dad was an amazing cook,” Arthur begins.
Arthur leaves out the part where his dad is also a full blown alcoholic who spends his days watching Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. Some people might say that’s because it’s not canon but I say it’s because Arthur doesn’t want to mess with the Y7 rating.
At Casa de Read, David has managed to sober up long enough to make a wedding cake and guys, I just ate lunch but it sounds sooooo goooooood—chocolate fudge brownie with vanilla custard topped with butterscotch frosting and peanut butter toffee. Oh man. David should stop devoting his time into being the next Guy Fieri and try to become the next Cake Boss.
Arthur, like any other warm blooded living creature, wants a piece of that cake. Now I’m thinking of the Rihanna song.
It’s not even his wedding
But Arthur want to lick the icing off
You know he want it in the worst way
Can’t wait to blow the candles out
Arthur wants that cake, cake, cake, cake
Cake, cake, cake ,cake, cake
Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake
Cake, cake, cake
But alas, since it’s for a wedding, Arthur cannot have a slice. Drunk!David might have let it slide but Buddy Valastro!David is serious about his catering business. He tells Arthur that Grandma Thora will probably make them cookies when she babysits.
Disappointed, Arthur goes to school but he can’t stop thinking about that cake. When Buster mentions that he thought the history test was a piece of cake, Arthur freaks out like meth addict who hasn’t tweaked in weeks and demands to have a slice. Buster makes a mental note not to give Arthur his marijuana from the Hungarian. He asks Arthur what the dealio is. Arthur explains about the cake and how Grandma Thora will be babysitting and will most likely make one of her disastrous meals.
Buster suggests that just in case, Arthur should stock up on real food: candy.
Arthur eats candy before heading down to dinner, filling up his stomach just so he doesn’t have to subject himself to his grandmother’s tuna noodle…thing. However, it turns out that David cooked before he left so Grandma won’t have to cook! “Hooray!” shouts D.W. “I mean, how nice. You don’t have to cook, Grandma,” she quickly recovers.
D.W. came back good from that one. You ever wonder if the reason David is a cook because he had to learn fast otherwise he would have had to keep eating Grandma Thora’s food all his life?
Even though Arthur already ate, he eats the roast chicken dinner. Then, Grandma Thora announces that she has a surprise for them: David left them slices of the wedding cake.
But oh no! Arthur’s stomach is all, “Arthur, we can’t handle anymore! There’s no more room in here!” and Arthur is all, “Shut up stomach! You MAKE room!”
He promises himself to only have a bite but later when the family retires to the den, D.W. scolds him for having two slices of cake. By now, Arthur has a huge stomach ache so Grandma Thora offers to read to him. D.W. asks her to read fairy tales and Arthur protests because they’re for little kids. Grandma Thora promises that the fairy tales will be exciting enough for him and begins to read.
Hansel and Gretel, or Arthur Looks Ridiculous in Lederhosen
Arthur wakes up in a deep, dark forest. D.W. explains that they had been using bread crumbs to try to find their way back but someone with the muchies aka Buster has ruined their trail. Arthur proposes that they keep going and hope that someone will take them in. Along the way, the two complain about their German folk costumes because they’re freezing their butts off. “Make it work!” shouts Tim Gunn from the Bravo network.
They reach a house that is entirely made out of food—the walls are covered in chocolate chips, the windows are fruit roll up, and there’s even junk food mail! The owner of the house, a Mr. Ratburn look alike, sees them. I don’t know if Mr. Ratburn is supposed to be a witch or a wizard but Arthur addresses him as “sir” so I guess he’s a male witch.
Mr. Witch takes the kids to the Sugar Mall to buy a new oven. If that wasn’t an opportunity to get away from a guy who blatantly wants to eat you, I don’t know what it is. Mr. Witch locks the kids up and D.W. tries to lick their way out of their jail cell since the bars are made of candy canes, but Arthur is too full to contribute to the prison break.
At any rate, they are saved by the Tibble twins—er, septuplets –who push Mr. Witch into the oven and free D.W. and Arthur. Unfortunately, they think D.W. is their princess, Doe White, and kidnap her so she can set them down for nap time.
D.W. is not thrilled to take care of dwarves named Pesky, Whiny, Grouchy, Angry, Noisy, Creepy, and Stinky so she begs Arthur to go to Grandma’s house and get help.
Little Red Riding Hood, or Did You Eat Grandma?
Arthur runs through Elwood City to get to Grandma Thora’s house. On the way, Binky makes fun of hus nerdy lederhosen so Arthur grabs a red cape to disguise himself.
He arrives to Grandma Thora’s house and finds her looking…very different. She’s got creamy skin, frosted hair, and eyes as dark as chocolate chips—she’s the wedding cake, guys. They do the whole “My what big x you have” routine except in a twist, Grandma jumps up and allows herself to be swallowed up by Arthur.
D.W. bursts in and yells at Arthur for eating Grandma. Someone in the YouTube comments that the line sounds like something out of a porno. A very sick porno, might I add. Buster joins in and offers to cut Grandma Thora out of Arthur’s stomach. Just as he’s about to raise his axe, Arthur wakes up.
D.W. teases Arthur for being scared and Grandma Thora gives him medicine for his stomach.
Jack and the Beanstalk, or TIMBERRRRRRR!
Arthur falls back asleep and he is taken back to Fairy Tale land where D.W. is yelling at him for selling her Mary Moo Cow doll for magic beans.
A beanstalk sprouts up and D.W. tells Arthur to climb it and find her another toy. Man, D.W. is a bit of a ball buster and she’s younger than Arthur.
Arthur climbs up all the way to the top (“Why couldn’t I have dreamed an elevator for this?”) and discovers a castle shaped like a wedding cake. He goes inside and finds a Silly Goose (from Confuse the Goose) and decides to take it to D.W.
However, the giant arrives and he is made up of all the food Arthur has ever eaten–all eight and a half years of it. I don’t even want to think about what my food giant would look like.
Arthur makes a break for it and reaches the bottom. He tells D.W. they need to run away but Buster shows up and reveals himself to be a licensed beanstalk cutter. He cuts down the beanstalk and the Read kids are safe!
Arthur wakes up and lets out a humongous burp, finally feeling better.
Arthur concludes the episode by telling us that from then on, he never ate too much candy and lived happily ever after.
And then a chocolate bar falls out of his book.
Well, I guess for him it’s just desserts.
Grade: A+ (This is a really fun episode with the reimagining of classic fairy tales and the fourth wall breaking the characters do. Plus the food porn is fantastic. It’s funny and smart.)
Arthur Recap Season 6 Episode 6 Part 2 D.W.’s Backpack Mishap
I see my immature screenshots/captions have gained me quite the attention. I take back every mean thing I said about Francine’s flyer paper from “Citizen Frensky”. Pictures of people’s butts will always get you the circulation you want. Anyway:
This is also known as The One Where the Tibbles Get More Characterization
It’s a lazy summer day at the local pool but D.W. has no one to play with.
Arthur doesn’t want to play Slow Motion Underwater Ballet because he’s embarrassed what the other kids would say (Dude, Binky does actual Real Time Ballet and no one gives a crap, no matter how many episodes we have to go over this) and Emily and the Tibbles can’t play either. Emily has to finish her lunch and then wait a half hour for the food to go down and the Tibbles get wrapped up into having a sunblock fight.
Even worse, it starts raining so the pool has to be evacuated!
Actually, what would be worse is if someone pooped in the pool.
Everyone grabs their backpacks and heads home but in the car, D.W. realizes that she doesn’t have her backpack! Instead, she has some dude “Omble”’s bag.
Who the fuck is Omble? Is that the kid rabbit who doesn’t talk?
D.W. is pissed because her “important” stuff was in her bag: glitter, her Mary Moo Cow doll and her Crazy Bus tape. Unfortunately, they have to wait until Monday to check the lost and found.
Arthur, as you can imagine, is delighted about the Crazy Bus tape being gone.
D.W. insists that Omble is thief who took her bag and is determined to track them down. However, Arthur suggests that Omble may be a nickname or a pseudonym to hide who they really are. D.W. tries guess who Omble is by opening the backpack and seeing the items they have. She rules out Emily (too nice), the Tibble (too dumb), and unicorns (they wouldn’t steal).
She finds a model of the Eiffel tower, pan pipes, and a snow globe of the Great Wall of China although in her 4 year old, uncultured mind sees them as a horn, “fang hiders” (Somehow, she assumes Omble is a guy with fangs), and a model of Omble’s castle.
She imagines Omble took her Mary Moo Cow doll to fatten it up to become a plastic hamburger for Polly Locket Dolls (I know, what the fuck? That’s an oddly specific fantasy) and works herself into a tizzy. Now she is determined to find Omble more than ever.
D.W. tells Emily about her fears and adds more to her wild, fantastical imaginings of Omble: he travels the world in a huge black blimp, looking for backpacks to steal. He is most interested in glitter, btw. When he sees one he likes, he causes bad weather to distract everyone so he can steal it and replace it with his own.
Arthur is bored to tears by this story and complains that his “brain is melting”. This gives D.W. an idea! She should talk to the Brain to see where Omble’s stuff came from.
Brain identifies the clay model as the Eiffel tower and suggests they talk to Buster. Buster isn’t much help since he can’t identify the other objects and is a little too ready to buy into the concept of “fang hiders”. Arthur takes D.W. to Sue Ellen, who is surprisingly not pretentious and is actually helpful. “Wow! Omble’s been everywhere!” says D.W. when she learns what the souvenirs actually are.
D.W. insists on going back to the pool in hopes of catching Omble going back to the crime scene but she ends up chasing the Tibbles who are innocently making mud pies.
D.W. is disappointed when they drop off Omble’s backpack at the lost and found. Even though he may be a thief, he sounds like an interesting person.
However, D.W. does get to meet Omble! At preschool, Tommy Tibble tries to show off his model of the Eiffel Tower but pulls out D.W.’s Mary Moo Cow. The kids realize their backpack must have been switched and “Omble” is from “Tommy Tibble”. The backpacks get returned to their rightful owners and D.W. asks where he got all the cool stuff and the Tibbles explain that their mother travels a lot and sends them souvenirs.
Emily runs up to the gang and tells them her hat has been stolen too! Now, she has someone else’s hat and they have a weird name too: Dry Clean Only.
D.W. vows to find the thief for Emily!
Grade: A+ (D.W.’s voice acting was hilarious. At one point, she refers to the people in the pool as “a pack of thieves” who took her backpack and I started laughing. It was the right mix between melodramatic and hilarious. Plus, there were a lot of funny jokes and on your first viewing, the reval is pretty unexpected.And the “dry clean only” line had me cracking up too. I would have paid good money for to see that episode too.