d&d,

My favorite moment with my D&D group so far

They met a Demon at a crossroads, he said they had to make a deal with him or he would steal their souls. The Fighter was like, “Hey can you just wait for 5 seconds for me?” 

Demon’s like: “Alright.” 

Five seconds later the Fighter says “Alright our deal is complete” 

???

“What do you mean our deal is complete?” said the Demon

“Well I asked you to wait 5 seconds, then you agreed. Since you waited 5 seconds, that means our deal is complete right?”

The Demon is in shock, and so am I, the DM. This fighter just out-tricked a freakin’ demon deal by telling the demon to cool his heels for a moment I couldn’t believe it.

I had a very young kid with a hereditary heart condition come in today to be seen. My colleague excitedly told him that I play “that ‘dungeons and dragons’ game just like you do!”

The kid deadpans me with “I DM for 8 people who keep splitting the party, I think that’s why I’m really here.”

Relatable, kid, relatable.

Essential components of any fantasy rolepaying group:

  • The player who brings exactly the same swishy elf character to every table; 50% chance of wizard, 50% chance of bard, 100% chance of banging a dragon before the campaign is done.
  • The player who favours dwarves because they’re uncomfortable with speaking in character and dwarves aren’t expected to have personalities.
  • The player who thinks they’re cleverly subverting expectations by playing their halfling as a bloodthirsty, sexually promiscuous drug fiend, unaware that - thanks to players like them - literally 80% of all halfling player characters are like that.
  • The player who designs their character purely for novelty value - like, this time they’re a giant telepathic praying mantis, or whatever - yet inexplicably manages to have the deepest character arc out of anyone.
  • The player whose character’s stats honestly don’t matter because their real contribution to the party is being the only adult in the room.

Miscellaneous D&D physiology headcanons:

  • Halflings can stuff their cheeks like hamsters. It looks really gross.
  • Dwarves are immune to alcohol poisoning and can’t actually get drunk; “dwarven ale” is an elaborate and improbably successful practical joke.
  • Elves have a part of their brain devoted to detecting sarcasm.
  • Orcs respond to umami/savory flavours the same way that humans respond to sweet ones; the taste of cheese is mildly addictive to them.
  • Gnomes can smell fear.
8

The final boss of our dungeons and dragons campaign: Y’gathok, the great old one, the infinite hunger. My players deserved an amazing fight for their send off, so I went as ham as I can. Being a DM is all about making sure the players have the best time.

Thank you Critical Role for sparking this D&D campaign, and thank you specifically Matt Mercer for reminding me what it is to be creative.

8

It’s time for another giveaway~

I’m immensely flattered by how popular my rainbow-inked dice have been! *_* You’re all far, far too kind. So in thanks, I’m going to give one lucky follower their own rainbow-inked d20! Color of your choice, depending on what I have available at the time or can get. You’ll be the most dazzling person at your game table! If you’d rather not wait, I also restock them regularly in my Etsy shop.

Rules:

  • Must be following me! New followers count too.
  • Likes and reblogs both count for an entry! You may reblog as many times as you like.
  • You can get a THIRD entry by submitting a picture of your own dice to my blog! (One entry per person this way.) Depending on how many submissions I get, not all may be posted, but every single one I receive will count for an entry.
  • Do not tag your reblog as “giveaway,” it can lead to the notes getting messed up and no one wants that.
  • Winner will be chosen by RNG on January 15th, 2018. (Giveaway ends at 11:59:59PM Eastern US time on January 14th)
  • You MUST have your askbox or messages open and MUST be comfortable giving me a shipping address.

**This giveaway is not affiliated with tumblr in any way**

4

Sun festival costuming and Kender as a human.  

Kender was once given the option to have the demonic influence removed from him.  It would have made his life so much easier.  No cultists would have been trying to use him, no humans would treat him like the enemy everywhere he went.  But he couldn’t accept the offer.  He can’t believe that being a Tiefling is wrong.  He never once felt bad for being one until others started telling him he should, and for him to become human just feels like he would be agreeing with all those people who hate him over nothing.  The one thing that made him hesitate was that for the first time in his life, he could actually see his mother in himself.