d&d premades

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Cassandra Tuesday Goth
Human Physicist, Neutral Good
Cassandra is the oldest person in the party so far and she does not hesitate to make jokes about that, despite the fact that she’s still in her early twenties. She got into D&D in college as well but gave it up after moving back home. Now that she has the opportunity to play again though, she’s back with a vengeance. When not setting things on fire with her mind, she is solving Fermat’s theorem, rethinking the validity of pseudosciences, and researching the possibility of different laws of physics.

Morganna Pentaghast
Human Sorcerer, Lawful Evil
Morganna does not turn things into toads, she does not have warts, and she does not cackle (well…maybe on occasion). She is a perfectly well-behaved citizen, or so she says. She was run out of the previous city she worked in, for reasons that she firmly maintains had absolutely nothing to do with bathing in the blood of virgins. She would never do that. Virgin blood is completely useless as an exfoliant. Morganna is simply the victim of chance, a zealous paladin, and her own power. She also likes setting things on fire. It’s a hobby.

2

Ripp Francis Grunt
Human Student, Chaotic Good
Ripp is doing it because of the Hobbit/LotR movies. That’s pretty much his main motivation. He has a thing for Cate Blanchett. Plus, in this universe HE can kick Tank’s ass, instead of the other way around. When not playing out his greatest dreams, he is going to frat parties, chilling with aliens, showing off his newfound ability to grow facial hair, and dreaming of building a robot girlfriend.

Thorin Jackhammer
Dwarf Berserker, Chaotic Neutral
Thorin Jackhammer will eff you UP, man. He will smash your face, smash your body, smash your heart, and smash your primitive standards of height-based beauty. He is a testament to dwarven strength, virility, and Ripp Grunt’s power fantasies. As far as anyone is concerned, his back story is just that he hurtled out of his mother and started beating the crap out of the midwife and has been doing that ever since.

With no further ado, I humbly present the Disciples of Wright! Hearty crusaders forging their path through the harsh lands of the Forgotten Realms in search of gold, diamonds, cash money, and spiritual fulfillment*. With this ragtag crew of adventurers, no dungeon will be left unlooted and no dragon shall be left alive.

*Spiritual fulfillment may constitute amassing large sums of money.

2

Titania Anthousai Summerdream
Elf Matriarch, Chaotic Neutral
One advantage of being alive when D&D was invented is that Titania knows everything you would ever want to know about the rules, which makes it that much easier to bend them. Loopholes and tricks are her specialty in-game and out, and if she attempts something, she’ll likely succeed. Where do you think Puck got his tricks from? When not outfoxing hapless travelers, she is making matches, accidentally egging on the Monty/Capp rivalry, and gardening.

Libera Anansi
Elf Arcane Trickster, Chaotic Neutral
Libera has never really seen herself as dishonest. Manipulative, sure. Wily, absolutely. Perhaps even nefarious. But dishonest? Nah. There’s no need for dishonesty when you have brilliant, pure, manipulative truth on your side. It’s amazing what lengths people will go to when they want to keep their secrets. It’s also amazing what lengths they’ll go to to dispose of the problem. After multiple failed attempts on her life, she skipped town with the most recent assassin on her heels and somehow managed to trick him into adventuring with her.

2

Jennifer “Jenny” Marie Smith
Human Nurse, Lawful Good
Guess who has two thumbs and made all the orcs her little brother encountered strangely resemble Chad Mankid? This lady. Jenny is more used to being the DM than a player but she has no time to plan campaigns now that she has kids and a job and has to wave off tabloid reporters daily because Pascal has a Security Bot. So Pascal invited her to a game a friend was setting up and history was made. When not letting off steam, she is destroying the environment with her lawn, delivering alien babies, and buying green clothing.

Ginny Greenteeth
Human? Archmage, Chaotic Evil
Yes, she may have dragged a small child or two into lakes once or twice but that doesn’t make her a bad person. The repeated murders and complete lack of morality make her a bad person. She’s never managed to stay in one place for too long and she’s not entirely sure why. Townsfolk just don’t seem to like her very much. Gee, you drown someone’s grandmother and out come the pitchforks and torches. People have no sense of humor. She’s hoping these folks will be different. If they aren’t, well…they pass a lot of lakes on their journeys, don’t they?

2

Kent Earl Capp
Human Clerk, Neutral Good
People often ask how a Capp and a Monty can be good friends, but if you ask Kent he’ll merely say that there’s no way he and Bianca couldn’t be friends, what with their shared interests and love of Pride and Prejudice. Kent enjoys the interplay of regency era morals in a modern film setting – also, Colin Firth = UNF. So when Bianca said Dragons, Kent asked “in what Dungeons”? When not healing wayward travellers, Kent is working in a patent office, avoiding his family, and dreaming of his Mr. Darcy.

Llewelynn Albus
Elf Hierophant, Lawful Good
To some people he is Llewelynn Albus, the premier cleric of his day and the winner of the Best Disciple of Ioun Award. A spiritual icon of his day and a true inspiration. To most, he is Lou: the odd little traveling hierophant who gives out sage advice and free healing. He likes to think of himself as a spiritual janitor, cleaning up the souls of the less-than-innocent. Occasionally with fire. He was a lone wanderer until he offered his services to an unconscious dwarf in a pit in the ground. They’ve been friends ever since.

2

Puck Robin Summerdream
Elf Student, Neutral Good
Puck has been roleplaying since he was in eco-friendly cloth diapers. It’s a part of the culture of the Summerdream residence. He has been fighting oversized rodents, fire-breathing flying lizards, and lich kings since he could roll a plastic icosahedron. He would be DM if only they’d let him. When not playing D&D, he is studying Elizabethan literature at ALT, playing console games, and ranting about the Sim-Box 1’s stalkercam.

Smirk Undergallows
Halfling Rogue, Chaotic Neutral
Smirk was born in Waterdeep and raised communally by the many women that populated the Busy Hand, the establishment that was his mother’s place of employment. He knows nothing of his father except the surname they share and does not care to find out more, instead acquainting himself with the endless pursuit of gold. Inside, he seeks something more than his meager life, something greater: the endless pursuit of diamonds.

2

Oberon Selvan Gossamer
Elf Patriarch, Lawful Neutral
Oberon likes to think that while Titania uses her knowledge of the rules for evil, he uses them for good. He has never been one to let transgressions slide. This adhering to the rules would make him a perfect DM, except for that “it’s-super-annoying-when-the-DM-quotes-directly-from-the-rulebook” problem. When not killing people for money, he is making home videos, staying out of family feuds, and sending Puck on errands.

Alistair Firenze
Human Assassin, Lawful Evil
It’s the classic story: man is part of family of assassins. Man is arrogant, forgets the rules, gets his entire family killed. Man tries to avenge his family, becomes famous assassin prized among all others. Man gets contract to assassinate arcane trickster and somehow ends up adventuring with her. Classic story.

2

Edwin Quincy Sharpe
Human Student, Lawful Good
Contrary to popular belief, Edwin has never actually played D&D before. He’s much more of a video gamer. But when he heard that there was an opportunity to interact with real-life human beings in a familiar setting, he was quite ambivalent. And then Roxie made him do it. When not accidentally crushing small creatures, he is reviewing video games on his blog, leading his Guild to victory in World of Simcraft, and somehow finding time for his University courses.

Urg Khorrog
Orc Druid, Chaotic Good
Urg isn’t what you would call intelligent. In fact he tends toward quite the opposite. He isn’t very good at fighting. He isn’t very good at being an orc, actually. Too much caring, not enough killing. See, Urg likes animals. Small, furry, adorable animals with big eyes and cute snuffling noises. He isn’t exactly sure where “upstate” is, but according to the rest of the party, all of his pets keep going to farms there. He hugs and cuddles and loves them and then-bam! Farm.

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Mary-Sue Wendy Pleasant
Human Campaign Manager, Lawful Good
Mary-Sue has never been sure about this whole D&D thing, but Daniel’s been distant and this is less embarrassing than couples therapy. Now that she’s into it though, she’s beginning to enjoy it. And hey, maybe this will finally give her some common ground with Lilith. When not studying divine magic, she is setting up rallies, working overtime, and attempting to follow her dreams.

Tusahn Ashseed
Half-Elf Mystic Theurge, Neutral Good
Tusahn has never been the type to go adventuring. At least, not until he met the gorgeous Bonnie. Now he’s got a whole new lease on life and a yearning for adventure. At least, that’s what he tells himself. Honestly, he’d probably be more happy back home. But he does love his wife and he is learning a lot about spell-casting on these adventures.