d u c k i e

new word: dutrime

definition: 💀♈t♉e♊d♋c♌r♍u♎z♏i♐s♑t♒h♓e♈z♉o♊d♋i♌a♍c♎k♏i♐l♑l♒e♓r⛎💀.

The beginning - Part 3

J a c k
 W o u l d  H a v e
    K n o w n 


One thing I really wanted was to see adventurers and I knew exactly where to go in order to watch them. The only problem was that I didn’t know how to find the place where I needed to go… for some reason taverns and inns all look like houses and shops. At least make an effort not to build everything the same! I had to search through many villages along the shore, feeling more impatient and irritated that I didn’t find what I was looking for and Jibbs was not helping at all. She was reluctant to fly most of the time and preferred hopping on the grass and taking way too many naps a day for way too long. She was driving me crazy and I was doing the same to her, forced as I was to steal her pebble if I wanted her large feathery butt to go anywhere. You’d think sleeping from sunset to sunrise would have been enough, but no. I think I understand now why Siisa and Moltai were so angry at me when I ran away from my daily chores. Someone who refuses to do what you want them to when it’s important that they do it is infuriating.

So as I was saying, following weeks of walking more than flying (my feet were oh so sore) I finally learned that the difference between common housing and shops were in their sign. Unlike the shops, houses have small letters on the mailbox or the fence to know which is which (except for the ones that do have big signs and I was very confused then). After making my way into more than a few wrong places, finally I found an inn which I entered through a small hole in the gutter. Jibbs was too large to fit and waited outside. Which was fortunate because the hole gave right into the kitchen, of all things. It was perfect for me, with plenty of places to hide. The door to the dining room was cut in half, too, so it was easy to fly there when nobody was looking.

I don’t understand though what use there is for only half a door.

It took many days, and at some point I stopped counting, before an adventurer walked in. I still remember. He had hair the colour of wheat and he carried with him the smell of sea salt. His clothes were dripping with water, too, but it was not raining. He was talking a lot, and laughing a lot, but what struck me the most was the color of his eyes. I had never seen a human with eyes of gold and I still haven’t seen another one of those afterwards. I heard him say he was waiting for his crew, and he stayed a few days. Every evening he sat with what I can only guess were strangers to him, and he talked with them for hours. I loved listening to his adventures, and I’d always find a spot to sit as near to him as possible. The ceiling beams were very useful to run across the whole dining area. He, too, seemed to be one of those people who ate maps for breakfast; he sounded like he knew the whole world like the back of his hand. Oh, and he had a bird too. A ginormous white pelican who sometimes stuck its head through the dining room’s window looking for him. It took two or three men to push his large, dumb looking face out of the inn and the adventurer kept saying the bird was not with him but clearly, it was. It followed him everywhere whenever he went looking for his crew (I watched them from where I sat on the rooftops with Jibbs). I didn’t know there were pelicans big enough for a human to sit on their back.

He told stories better than Jack, like he was born to do that and I decided I’d tell stories better than him. Sadly, his crew joined him the next week and he left with them the day after. I never saw him again. Maybe the pelican ate him…

That very same night, a group of young men with a similar gait came into the inn.

I couldn’t help but to wonder what was hidden in their hip bags. They were much bigger than what I had seen on any other people I watched. Maybe they were what they call nobles, I thought. Maybe they were rich. They carried weapons with them and what better need would there be than to protect their goods? Luck was on my side: they put silver coins on the counter and asked to stay for the night. I followed them across the dining room, sticking near the ceiling. In the hallway I was in the open but humans rarely pay attention to what is above their eye level. I took a chance. The door closed right in front of me.

“Owl farts!” I cussed and I think they heard me because the door opened immediately and they nearly caught sight of me. The head that popped out of the room looked right and left. When they closed the door again, I approached to eavesdrop. They sounded excited about something. I just had to see what it was about.

I waited for the innkeeper to announce mealtime. In the evening, there often was one or two musicians trading a few drops of ale and a plate of whatever food was left for entertainment. That should give me all the time I wanted in the nobles’ room to look through their things and satisfy my curiosity. They would stuff their faces with strange fish and drink themselves under the table while I’d do what I do best.

Crawling under the door was in itself quite the adventure. Old wood tend to make splinters and those splinters snagged my clothes. I had to be more careful than I had ever been so not to hurt myself. You know how mice and rats squish themselves to fit in tight spaces? Yeah well fairies can’t do that. Once or twice I thought I would never see the end of it, especially when large splinters tugged at my shirt and pants at the same time.

‘At this rate, once I get out from under here I’ll be naked.’ Is what I thought.

On the other side, surprisingly with all my clothes still on, the floor was littered with weapons of all sizes, smelly wet socks and leather coats. I avoided the socks and walked on the coats alongside a well-worn lance. One of them had so many pockets inside and out I stopped counting after the tenth one. Just how many spaces did a noble need to put things in? Besides, some of those things could have easily been left back home. Like those round shiny iron beads and what I thought was a bizarre kind of pepper. The money I understood was necessary to keep, though I didn’t get why they had to divide it into so many pockets. Same about the armfuls of white pearls I found. There were a few papers as well, on which something was written but I couldn’t read it. I did however understand the numbers at the end of each line (numbers may be the only thing we have in common). I thought at first it might be for keeping track of what they owned and they had to be rich, because those were big numbers. They possessed many things in many exemplars.

I know what you’re thinking: I was completely wrong about this.

They were as far from what I understood was a noble as could be. But I heard from Jack about nobles before, you know. Nobles, they fancy nice clothes, colours and point lace but he also told me they sometimes wore simpler clothes that blend in the masses. So it’s only when I found holes on all of their coats that I thought… a noble would have bought a new one, yes? That’s when I realized for myself that they were thieves. Because they were still rich. See, the adventurer I had seen the days before was not carrying anything more than a bottle of ink, a moleskin notebook and a handful of money in his sash. Adventurers are poor by definition.

“My very first encounter with thieves!” I smiled, remembering more of comrade’s stories and playing with a huge diamond ring that would easily fit on my head like a crown. In the same pocket I had found a jewel necklace large enough for me to wear like a dress. Leaving these two treasures behind, my interest quickly switched to something that was left on the nightstand. A little round contraption that started moving as soon as I touched it. I thought it was metal at first, but it bended and danced and morphed and when it stopped, I heard a voice inside my head.

Clean.

“What, you want me to polish you or something?” I asked dumbfounded. I had heard about artifacts but I didn’t know they could speak to you like they were people. The object started moving again, even faster than it was before. If it wanted to be cleaned, it would have to stop doing that. I searched around for something to rub it with and came back with a pure white satin glove.

Cursed.

 

The door opened and I jumped in surprise, dropped the glove and knocked the object off the nightstand. I didn’t hear it land: the thieves, back way sooner than I expected, expressed their shock in a loud and unanimous voice. As I told you before, humans don’t like the fairies. It’s out of fear, according to Jack, and they either run or fight. I tried to make them run. The magic object I was playing with the moment before had given me an idea.

“I will curse you!” I aimed to look as menacing as possible and stretched my wings wide, trying to get a ray of sun to shine on them. It normally makes a predator think twice before approaching.

“Tough luck, I’m already cursed! If anything ya gonna make it better!”

One more bad idea to add to the list of all the bad ideas I ever had before. Like that time when I fed an injured blueberry kiwi bird a handful of fresh peppers… You know how they already burst if they so little as catch the rising sun before reaching their nest? Imagine feeding them something hot. It took me two days to dig my way out of its blasted hole and it took it three weeks to grow back its feathers and its beak.

Back to the story: The thief who answered to my threats, the cursed one, walked in first. He was shorter than his friends and he looked cleaner as well. He didn’t seem cursed at all, from the outside. For a human, he looked good. Or maybe I just like red heads no matter the species… The three others followed and closed the door behind them before I could do anything to get out. They cracked their fingers. I did the same.

Cursed.

“So what’s it gonna be? A twenty feet long beard? Or maybe a biting plant in your pants? I can also call a thousand crows on your sorry heads and you’ll never hear the end of it.” My threats still didn’t look like they gave them anything to worry for. Where was the ‘humans are afraid of fairies’ I heard so much about?

Were they really scared of me, they wouldn’t have tried to catch me like an insect. I flew up and stuck to the ceiling, trying to remain out of reach, but it was too low to give me safety. They trapped me like a bird, except that they traded the net for a coat and I dropped to the floor like a rock. Swift, I crawled under the heavy leather, fingers crossed that they wouldn’t step on me with their big stupid feet and hoping to find refuge under the beds. The small man grabbed me by the waist the moment I popped out from under the coat. I bit him and tried for the window: it was locked. I spun on my feet to face the thieves, backing against the cold glass and I raised both hands like I was about to do a complicated magic trick.

We don’t even need to do that for the magic to work but I thought it worked well to intimidate someone. Except it didn’t.

“Enough! I am done playing with you!” I should have asked Jack what threats he came up with to get rid of people like them.

Cursed.

“Who’s playing with who? I believe, my sweet little lady, that you are the toy here.”

“And we been bored long enough trying to find a bloody cure to the boss’s curse,” smiled the tallest of them three putting the magic trinket back on the nightstand “that we might as well have a bit of fun wit’cha.”

 

He had a thin pointy face and small, mean eyes. If he wasn’t afraid of me, I on the other hand was very much afraid of him. His clothes made him look even longer than he really was. Like a tower. A pointy, mean looking tower.

“Don’t meet a damn fairy every day, after all.”

“And see, the thing with fairies like you…” I heard the small man’s voice right behind me as I ran along the window ledge “… is that you are quite fragile.”

J I M 🔥Y O U R E 🔥6'11 🔥A N D 🔥Y O U 🔥 W E I G H 🔥9 0 🔥P O U N D S 🔥G U M B Y 🔥 H A S 🔥 A 🔥B E T T E R 🔥 B O D Y 🔥 T H A N 🔥Y O U 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 D W I G H T 🔥 Y O U R E🔥 A 🔥 K I S S 🔥A S S 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 P A M 🔥Y O U 🔥F A I L E D 🔥A R T 🔥 S C H O O L 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 M E R E D I T H 🔥Y O U V E 🔥 S L E P T 🔥W I T H 🔥 S O 🔥M A N Y 🔥G U Y S 🔥Y O U R E 🔥 S T A R T I N G🔥T O 🔥 L O O K 🔥 L I K E 🔥 O N E 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥K E V I N 🔥 I 🔥C A N T 🔥D E C I D E 🔥 B E T W E E N 🔥 A 🔥 F A T 🔥J O K E 🔥A N D 🔥 A 🔥 D U M B 🔥 J O K E 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 C R E E D 🔥 Y O U R 🔥 T E E T H 🔥 C A L L E D 🔥Y O U R 🔥 B R E A T H 🔥 S T I N K S 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 A N G E L A 🔥 W H E R E S 🔥 A N G E L A 🔥 W H O A 🔥 T H E R E 🔥 Y O U 🔥 A R E 🔥 I 🔥 D I D N T 🔥 S E E 🔥 Y O U 🔥 T H E R E 🔥 B E H I N D 🔥 T H A T 🔥 G R A I N 🔥O F 🔥 R I C E 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 S T A N L E Y 🔥 Y O U 🔥 C R U S H 🔥 Y O U R 🔥 W I F E 🔥 D U R I N G 🔥 S E X 🔥 A N D 🔥 Y O U R 🔥 H E A R T 🔥 S U C K S 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 O S C A R 🔥 Y O U 🔥 A R E 🔥 O S C A R 🔥 Y O U R E 🔥 G A Y 🔥 A N D Y 🔥 C O R N E L L 🔥 C A L L E D 🔥 T H E Y 🔥 T H I N K 🔥 Y O U 🔥 S U C K 🔥 A N D 🔥 Y O U R E 🔥 G A Y E R 🔥 T H A N 🔥 O S C A R 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 A L R I G H T 🔥 A L R I G H T 🔥 E V E R Y B O D Y 🔥 Y O U 🔥 K N O W 🔥 I 🔥 K I D 🔥 Y O U 🔥 K N O W 🔥 I 🔥 K I D 🔥 Y O U 🔥 G U Y S 🔥 A R E 🔥T H E 🔥 R E A S O N 🔥 I 🔥 W E N T 🔥 I N T O 🔥 T H E 🔥 P A P E R 🔥 B U S I N U E S S 🔥 S O 🔥 U H 🔥 G O O D N I G H T 🔥G O D 🔥 B L E S S 🔥 G O D 🔥 B L E S S 🔥 A M E R I C A 🔥 A N D 🔥 G E T 🔥 H O M E 🔥 S A F E 🔥

someone: hey are you okay 

me thinking: the fact that bong soon lost her powers and accepted it after realizing she was no longer strong or “special”, but when min hyuk was in danger of dying she cried out and asked for her powers back to save HIM not herself, and throughout the entire scene she begged him to leave in order to spare his life because she loved him so much and she never once begged him to help her or get her out since she cares more about the importance of others and is always putting them first, just like how she lost her powers in the first place while saving her best friend from a psychopathic murderer 

me out loud: yeah I’m ok! 

someone: are you sure?

me thinking again: min hyuk loved bong soon with her powers, when she lost her powers, and when she faced death, he stayed by her side so she didn’t feel alone, he told her to not be afraid and that he wouldn’t leave her side no matter what min hyuk had no idea that it was possible for bong soon to regain her powers (and therefore dispose of the bomb) but he still stayed, his hands bled while trying to break the chains and through his tears he stayed calm so bong soon wouldn’t feel afraid as they were seconds from their deaths, he was 100% willing to die by her side without thinking twice 

me out loud: yeAH !

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: WHAT THE FUCK FP WOULD LITERALLY TAKE THE BLAME FOR M U R D E R IN A HEARTBEAT TO PROTECT HIS SON HE TOLD JUGHEAD HE NEVER WANTED TO SEE HIM AGAIN AND LIED TO HIS FACE AND LET HIM THINK HE HAD BEEN PLAYING HIM ALL ALONG TO TRY AND MAKE JUG FEEL LIKE HIS DAD DESERVED TO BE PUT AWAY AND MAYBE WOULDN'T FEEL AS BAD IF HE THOUGHT FP WAS A SHITTY FATHER WHAT THE F U C K IM CRYING IN THE CLUB
Updated Masterlist | 4.23.17

{Every time I update, I will change the date }

T O M  H O L L A N D 

Dating Tom Holland Would Include
You and Me
A Total Mess
More Like Her
Hands to Myself
Honest  |||  Part Two 
Tom & OFC
Prank Imagine 
Ex-Girlfriend Interview Imagine
Lovey Dovey Interview Imagine
Celebrity Crush Interview Imagine
Dressing Formal Imagine 
Thanking Tom Imagine
Facetiming Tom Imagine

P E T E R  P A R K E R 

Let it Grow 
Atoms
Just Smile
Secrets
Stay Away
Savior
Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman
Closed Door
Rain-Check
Finding You Outside Imagine
Finding Out Imagine
Finding Out (shorter version) Imagine
Project Help Imagine ||| Part Two 

J U G H E A D  J O N E S 

What Do You Feel ||| Part Two 
Black Sheep 

A R C H I E   A N D R E W S 

Misplaced Trust
Never Alone

C H R I S  E V A N S 

Stolen
Stone Cold Sober
Far From Boring 
Fatherhood Interview Imagine
Father Chris Imagine
Spilling The Beans Imagine
Taking Off Shirt Imagine
Giving In Imagine
Meeting New Boyfriend Imagine
Laughing Game Imagine
Divorcing Chris Imagine
That Look Imagine

S T E V E  R O G E R S 

Age Of Ultron Imagine
Asking For Permission Imagine
Disagreeing Sokovia Accords Imagine

S E B A S T I A N  S T A N 

Drunken Nights
Simple Hello  ||| Part Two
First We Had  ||| Part Two
Parting Ways
Annoyed Imagine
Don’t You Do That Interview Imagine

B U C K Y  B A R N E S 

Doll
Ghost 
Flawed
Brain Scrambled Imagine
Steve Telling Bucky Imagine
Afraid To Leave Imagine
Finding Out He Killed Imagine
Sent To Kill Imagine

T J  H A M M O N D 

She’ll Be The Death ||| Part Two 

J E F F E R S O N 

Wildflower

S H A W N  M E N D E S 

Roses

H A R R Y  S T Y L E S 

War Is Love |||  Part Two
Reaction Imagine
Caught In Interview Imagine

E D D I E  R E D M A Y N E 

Three Words
Panicked Interview Imagine
Platonic Interview Imagine
Platonic Interview Part Two Imagine
Costar Imagine

N E W T  S C A M A N D E R 

Newt Dating a Muggle / No-Maj
The Greatest Creation |||  Part Two
Yer A Wizard
I Wouldn’t Mind / OFC
Talking About You Imagine
Amazed By You Imagine
Dramatic & Sick You Imagine

E Z R A  M I L L E R 

Low-Cut

C R E D E N C E  B A R E B O N E

My Credence Plea
Under The Mistletoe
Monsters Lyrics
Helping Him Imagine
Helping You Imagine

D R A C O  M A L F O Y 

Bite The Hand That Feeds
Last Straw
Change Of Heart

H E R M I O N E  G R A N G E R 

Flustered Times
Good Advice
Crush Imagine

F R E D  W E A S L E Y 

Sentimental Gift Ft. George Weasley
Lost & Found
Take Care Imagine

S I R I U S  B L A C K 

The Return Of The Jackal
Son Imagine
All This Time Imagine
Getting Killed Imagine

R E M U S  L U P I N 

Sneaking In Late Imagine

H A R R Y  P O T T E R 

A Nervous Wreck
Dumbledore’s Army Imagine

H P  A E S T H E T I C S / M O O D B O A R D S 

Slytherin 
Slytherin 2
Herbology

S C O T T  M C C A L L 

Innocently Deadly
Finding Out Imagine

S T I L E S  S T I L I N S K I 

Denying You Imagine

P E T E R  H A L E 

Being The Reason Imagine
Leave Me Alone Imagine

S P E N C E R  R E I D 

Being Late Imagine
Your Voice Imagine

A A R O N  H O T C H N E R 

Jack’s Favorite Babysitter Imagine
Jack’s Favorite Part Two Imagine

Nygmobblepot shippers fighting Gobblepot shippers again, meanwhile I’m here shipping both of them like

Y'all need to chill.

Age Regression + Get To Know Me Asks

A. What age do you usually regress to?
B. Do you use a bottle?
C. Do you have a caregiver?
D. Do you use diapers?
E. Favorite thing to eat?
F. Favorite fruit?
G. Favorite place to go when you feel little?
H. Something that makes you happy?
I. Favorite ice cream?
J. Favorite juice?
K. Are you a kitten or other pet?
L. Favorite thing about being little?
M. Favorite little space movie?
N. What’s your name?
O. How old are you?
P. Do you use pacifiers?
Q. A habit you wish you could quit?
R. Favorite nursery rhyme?
S. Favorite stuffie?
T. Favorite little space TV show?
U. Something unique about you?
V. Favorite veggie?
W. Where are you from?
X. (The best x word I can think of its xylophone so….) What’s your favorite instrument?
Y. Favorite time of year?
Z. Favorite animal to see at the zoo?

Send me a letter to my inbox.

A- are you single?
B- birthday?
C- crush?
D- did u get ur first kiss?
E- easiest person to talk to?
F- favorite song?
G- good at?
H- hair color?
I- in love?
J- jealous of?
K- known as?
L- longest relationship?
M- middle name?
N- number?
O- one wish?
P- person last texted?
Q- question always asked?
R- reason to smile?
S- song last listened to
T- time you woke up?
U- 3 biggest wishes?
V- violent moment?
W- worst fear?
X- ex you still liked after it was ended?
Y- your last hug?
Z- zodiac sign?

"hamilton" summarised

act 1

alexander hamilton: HELLO YES HI THIS MUSICAL IS ALL ABOUT ME I AM THE STAR I AM WONDERFUL LOOK AT ALL THE COOL STUFF I DID WOW GO ME

aaron burr, sir: you’re an orphan? nice lets go mURDER THE GOVERNMENT (ft. drunk squad™)

my shot: im PAst patiently waitin im PASSionately SMAshin every expecTATion every ACTion’s an ACT of crEATion

the story of tonight: more drunk cuties

the schuyler sisters: FEMINISM GIRL POWER F U C K THE PATRIARCHY (ft. peggy bein a lil bitch)

farmer refuted: Sassy Ham™ (ft. dONT MODULATE THE KEY THEN NOT DEBATE WITH M E)

you’ll be back: king george iii is a psycho

right hand man: I HAVE THREE FRIENDS PICK ME

a winter’s ball: salty + creepy burr (ft. LAAAAaaaAaAaaaADIES)

helpless: ELIZA IS A PRECIOUS PURE CINNAMON ROLL D O N ’ T T O U C H H E R

satisfied: did somebody say bitter (ft. goosebumps)

the story of tonight (reprise): drunk and gay (reprise)

wait for it: burr has secrets™

stay alive: FUCK OFF CHARLES LEE

ten duel commandments: oKAY so we’re doing this

meet me inside: ham fucks up™

that would be enough: THE CINNAMON ROLL IS BACK AND SHE’S PREGNANT HAM COULD U N O T

guns and ships: lAFAYETTE

history has its eyes on you: gwash has Feelings™

yorktown (the world turned upside down): that one line @ trump tbh, HERCULES MULLIGAN

what comes next: oh no king george is just hella salty

dear theodosia: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

non-stop: HISTORY HAS ITSwhy do you assume you’re the smartest in the room why do you assume you’re the smartest in theNON-STOPhe will never be satisfiedISN’T THIS ENOUGHsatisfiedWHAT WOULD BE ENOUGH

act 2

what’d i miss: tjeffs is back from being a hoe in paris and he’s getting down to Business™ 😎

cabinet battle #1: FUCKN FIGHT ME ILL TAKE ANYONE — alexander hamilton, probably

take a break: spoiler! he doesn’t take a break (ft. UN DEUX TROIS QUATRE CINQQQQQQQQ)

say no to this: oh jesus what is that two letter word starting with n, ending with o, it has escaped my vocabulary completely

the room where it happens: so apparently aaron burr is Salt Personified™

schuyler defeated: bros don’t take other bros’ father in law’s senate seat wtf

cabinet battle #2: if u tie ur hair into a ponytail, u are a completely different person: confirmed

washington on your side: salty burr, jeffersalt, madisalt: the salthern motherfucking democratic republicans™

one last time: washington’s gone, thanks a lot jefferson

i know him: no it turns out that king george iii is actually a fCKN PSYCHOPATH

the adams admininistration: Great Googly Moogly, It’s All Gone To Shit™ (ft. sIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER)

we know: so burr’s shady as fuck

hurricane: hoe don’t do it (spoiler! he does it)

the reynolds pamphlet: how to fuck up your own life for no good reason — by alexander hamilton

burn: CINNAMON ROLL IS UPSET AND IT BREA K S Y O U

blow us all away: HE DIDNT MEAN LITERALLY ??¿ (ft. philip organising a threesome)

stay alive (reprise): count to ten in french after this without crying, i dare you

it’s quiet uptown: YOU KILLED YOUR S O N WHAT THE FUCK ALEXANDER CHILL

the election of 1800: alex likes causing drama. what a surprise(!)

your obedient servant: i have never talked shit about you. BUT IF I EVER DID here is a list of everything i said about you and when, it’s 30 years long, take your pick (ft. S A L T )

best of wives and best of women: he doesn’t go back to sleep

the world was wide enough: you done fucked up a-a-ron

who lives, who dies, who tells your story: eliza schuyler hamilton is an angelic cinnamon roll and the world does not deserve her, she singlehandedly made sure her idiot husband made history and she deserves more credit than she is given honestly (ft. your ugly crying)

            I wanna  b e  B R A V E.

                             I wanna be brave  l i k e  Y O U .

You went  i n t o  D A R K N E S S .

                                            Y o u  F E L L  i n  D A R K N E S S .

                 A n d  y o u  w i l l  C A R R Y  O N .

A song very much dedicated to Shiro.