One thing I really wanted was to see adventurers and I
knew exactly where to go in order to watch
them. The only problem was that I didn’t know how to find the place where I
needed to go… for some reason taverns and inns all look like houses and shops. At
least make an effort not to build everything the same! I had to search through
many villages along the shore, feeling more impatient and irritated that I
didn’t find what I was looking for and Jibbs was not helping at all. She was
reluctant to fly most of the time and preferred hopping on the grass and taking
way too many naps a day for way too long. She was driving me crazy and I was
doing the same to her, forced as I was to steal her pebble if I wanted her
large feathery butt to go anywhere. You’d think sleeping from sunset to sunrise
would have been enough, but no. I think I understand now why Siisa and Moltai
were so angry at me when I ran away from my daily chores. Someone who refuses
to do what you want them to when it’s important that they do it is infuriating.
So as I was saying, following weeks of walking more
than flying (my feet were oh so sore) I finally learned that the difference
between common housing and shops were in their sign. Unlike the shops, houses
have small letters on the mailbox or the fence to know which is which (except
for the ones that do have big signs
and I was very confused then). After making my way into more than a few wrong
places, finally I found an inn which I entered through a small hole in the
gutter. Jibbs was too large to fit and waited outside. Which was fortunate
because the hole gave right into the kitchen, of all things. It was perfect for
me, with plenty of places to hide. The door to the dining room was cut in half,
too, so it was easy to fly there when nobody was looking.
I don’t understand though what use there is for only
half a door.
It took many days, and at some point I stopped
counting, before an adventurer walked in. I still remember. He had hair the
colour of wheat and he carried with him the smell of sea salt. His clothes were
dripping with water, too, but it was not raining. He was talking a lot, and
laughing a lot, but what struck me the most was the color of his eyes. I had
never seen a human with eyes of gold and I still haven’t seen another one of
those afterwards. I heard him say he was waiting for his crew, and he stayed a
few days. Every evening he sat with what I can only guess were strangers to him,
and he talked with them for hours. I loved listening to his adventures, and I’d
always find a spot to sit as near to him as possible. The ceiling beams were
very useful to run across the whole dining area. He, too, seemed to be one of
those people who ate maps for breakfast; he sounded like he knew the whole world
like the back of his hand. Oh, and he had a bird too. A ginormous white pelican
who sometimes stuck its head through the dining room’s window looking for him.
It took two or three men to push his large, dumb looking face out of the inn
and the adventurer kept saying the bird was not with him but clearly, it was.
It followed him everywhere whenever he went looking for his crew (I watched
them from where I sat on the rooftops with Jibbs). I didn’t know there were
pelicans big enough for a human to sit on their back.
He told stories better than Jack, like he was born to
do that and I decided I’d tell stories better than him. Sadly, his crew joined
him the next week and he left with them the day after. I never saw him again. Maybe
the pelican ate him…
That very same night, a group of young men with a
similar gait came into the inn.
I couldn’t help but to wonder what was hidden in their
hip bags. They were much bigger than what I had seen on any other people I
watched. Maybe they were what they call nobles,
I thought. Maybe they were rich. They carried weapons with them and what better
need would there be than to protect their goods? Luck was on my side: they put
silver coins on the counter and asked to stay for the night. I followed them
across the dining room, sticking near the ceiling. In the hallway I was in the
open but humans rarely pay attention to what is above their eye level. I took a
chance. The door closed right in front of me.
farts!” I cussed and I think they heard me because the door
opened immediately and they nearly caught sight of me. The head that popped out
of the room looked right and left. When they closed the door again, I
approached to eavesdrop. They sounded excited about something. I just had to see what it was about.
I waited for the innkeeper to announce mealtime. In
the evening, there often was one or two musicians trading a few drops of ale
and a plate of whatever food was left for entertainment. That should give me
all the time I wanted in the nobles’ room to look through their things and
satisfy my curiosity. They would stuff their faces with strange fish and drink
themselves under the table while I’d do what I do best.
Crawling under the door was in itself quite the
adventure. Old wood tend to make splinters and those splinters snagged my
clothes. I had to be more careful than I had ever been so not to hurt myself.
You know how mice and rats squish themselves to fit in tight spaces? Yeah well
fairies can’t do that. Once or twice I thought I would never see the end of it,
especially when large splinters tugged at my shirt and pants at the same time.
rate, once I get out from under here I’ll be naked.’ Is what I thought.
On the other side, surprisingly with all my clothes
still on, the floor was littered with weapons of all sizes, smelly wet socks
and leather coats. I avoided the socks and walked on the coats alongside a
well-worn lance. One of them had so many pockets inside and out I stopped
counting after the tenth one. Just how many spaces did a noble need to put
things in? Besides, some of those things could have easily been left back home.
Like those round shiny iron beads and what I thought was a bizarre kind of pepper.
The money I understood was necessary to keep, though I didn’t get why they had
to divide it into so many pockets. Same about the armfuls of white pearls I
found. There were a few papers as well, on which something was written but I
couldn’t read it. I did however understand the numbers at the end of each line
(numbers may be the only thing we have in common). I thought at first it might
be for keeping track of what they owned and they had to be rich, because those were big numbers. They possessed many
things in many exemplars.
I know what you’re thinking: I was completely wrong
They were as far from what I understood was a noble as
could be. But I heard from Jack about nobles before, you know. Nobles, they
fancy nice clothes, colours and point lace but he also told me they sometimes
wore simpler clothes that blend in the masses. So it’s only when I found holes
on all of their coats that I thought… a noble would have bought a new one, yes?
That’s when I realized for myself that they were thieves. Because they were
still rich. See, the adventurer I had seen the days before was not carrying
anything more than a bottle of ink, a moleskin notebook and a handful of money
in his sash. Adventurers are poor by definition.
first encounter with thieves!” I smiled, remembering more
of comrade’s stories and playing with a huge diamond ring that would easily fit
on my head like a crown. In the same pocket I had found a jewel necklace large
enough for me to wear like a dress. Leaving these two treasures behind, my
interest quickly switched to something that was left on the nightstand. A
little round contraption that started moving as soon as I touched it. I thought
it was metal at first, but it bended and danced and morphed and when it
stopped, I heard a voice inside my head.
you want me to polish you or something?” I asked
dumbfounded. I had heard about artifacts but I didn’t know they could speak to
you like they were people. The object started moving again, even faster than it
was before. If it wanted to be cleaned, it would have to stop doing that. I
searched around for something to rub it with and came back with a pure white
The door opened and I jumped in surprise, dropped the
glove and knocked the object off the nightstand. I didn’t hear it land: the
thieves, back way sooner than I expected, expressed their shock in a loud and
unanimous voice. As I told you before, humans don’t like the fairies. It’s out
of fear, according to Jack, and they either run or fight. I tried to make them
run. The magic object I was playing with the moment before had given me an
curse you!” I aimed to look as menacing as possible and stretched
my wings wide, trying to get a ray of sun to shine on them. It normally makes a
predator think twice before approaching.
luck, I’m already cursed! If anything ya gonna make it better!”
One more bad idea to add to the list of all the bad
ideas I ever had before. Like that time when I fed an injured blueberry kiwi
bird a handful of fresh peppers… You know how they already burst if they so
little as catch the rising sun before reaching their nest? Imagine feeding them
something hot. It took me two days to dig my way out of its blasted hole and it
took it three weeks to grow back its feathers and its beak.
Back to the story: The thief who answered to my
threats, the cursed one, walked in first. He was shorter than his friends and
he looked cleaner as well. He didn’t seem cursed at all, from the outside. For
a human, he looked good. Or maybe I just like red heads no matter the species… The
three others followed and closed the door behind them before I could do
anything to get out. They cracked their fingers. I did the same.
what’s it gonna be? A twenty feet long beard? Or maybe a biting plant in your pants?
I can also call a thousand crows on your sorry heads and you’ll never hear the
end of it.” My threats still didn’t look like they gave them
anything to worry for. Where was the ‘humans are afraid of fairies’ I heard so
Were they really scared of me, they wouldn’t have
tried to catch me like an insect. I flew up and stuck to the ceiling, trying to
remain out of reach, but it was too low to give me safety. They trapped me like
a bird, except that they traded the net for a coat and I dropped to the floor
like a rock. Swift, I crawled under the heavy leather, fingers crossed that
they wouldn’t step on me with their big stupid feet and hoping to find refuge
under the beds. The small man grabbed me by the waist the moment I popped out
from under the coat. I bit him and tried for the window: it was locked. I spun
on my feet to face the thieves, backing against the cold glass and I raised
both hands like I was about to do a complicated magic trick.
We don’t even need to do that for the magic to work
but I thought it worked well to intimidate someone. Except it didn’t.
I am done playing with you!” I should have asked Jack
what threats he came up with to get rid of people like them.
playing with who? I believe, my sweet little lady, that you are the toy here.”
been bored long enough trying to find a bloody cure to the boss’s curse,” smiled the tallest of them three putting the magic trinket back on the
nightstand “that we might as well have a
bit of fun wit’cha.”
He had a thin pointy face and small, mean eyes. If he
wasn’t afraid of me, I on the other hand was very much afraid of him. His
clothes made him look even longer than he really was. Like a tower. A pointy,
mean looking tower.
meet a damn fairy every day, after all.”
see, the thing with fairies like you…” I heard
the small man’s voice right behind me as I ran along the window ledge “… is that you are quite fragile.”
J I M 🔥Y O U R E 🔥6'11 🔥A N D 🔥Y O U 🔥 W E I G H 🔥9 0 🔥P O U N D S 🔥G U M B Y 🔥 H A S 🔥 A 🔥B E T T E R 🔥 B O D Y 🔥 T H A N 🔥Y O U 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 D W I G H T 🔥 Y O U R E🔥 A 🔥 K I S S 🔥A S S 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 P A M 🔥Y O U 🔥F A I L E D 🔥A R T 🔥 S C H O O L 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 M E R E D I T H 🔥Y O U V E 🔥 S L E P T 🔥W I T H 🔥 S O 🔥M A N Y 🔥G U Y S 🔥Y O U R E 🔥 S T A R T I N G🔥T O 🔥 L O O K 🔥 L I K E 🔥 O N E 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥K E V I N 🔥 I 🔥C A N T 🔥D E C I D E 🔥 B E T W E E N 🔥 A 🔥 F A T 🔥J O K E 🔥A N D 🔥 A 🔥 D U M B 🔥 J O K E 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 C R E E D 🔥 Y O U R 🔥 T E E T H 🔥 C A L L E D 🔥Y O U R 🔥 B R E A T H 🔥 S T I N K S 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 A N G E L A 🔥 W H E R E S 🔥 A N G E L A 🔥 W H O A 🔥 T H E R E 🔥 Y O U 🔥 A R E 🔥 I 🔥 D I D N T 🔥 S E E 🔥 Y O U 🔥 T H E R E 🔥 B E H I N D 🔥 T H A T 🔥 G R A I N 🔥O F 🔥 R I C E 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 S T A N L E Y 🔥 Y O U 🔥 C R U S H 🔥 Y O U R 🔥 W I F E 🔥 D U R I N G 🔥 S E X 🔥 A N D 🔥 Y O U R 🔥 H E A R T 🔥 S U C K S 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 O S C A R 🔥 Y O U 🔥 A R E 🔥 O S C A R 🔥 Y O U R E 🔥 G A Y 🔥 A N D Y 🔥 C O R N E L L 🔥 C A L L E D 🔥 T H E Y 🔥 T H I N K 🔥 Y O U 🔥 S U C K 🔥 A N D 🔥 Y O U R E 🔥 G A Y E R 🔥 T H A N 🔥 O S C A R 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 A L R I G H T 🔥 A L R I G H T 🔥 E V E R Y B O D Y 🔥 Y O U 🔥 K N O W 🔥 I 🔥 K I D 🔥 Y O U 🔥 K N O W 🔥 I 🔥 K I D 🔥 Y O U 🔥 G U Y S 🔥 A R E 🔥T H E 🔥 R E A S O N 🔥 I 🔥 W E N T 🔥 I N T O 🔥 T H E 🔥 P A P E R 🔥 B U S I N U E S S 🔥 S O 🔥 U H 🔥 G O O D N I G H T 🔥G O D 🔥 B L E S S 🔥 G O D 🔥 B L E S S 🔥 A M E R I C A 🔥 A N D 🔥 G E T 🔥 H O M E 🔥 S A F E 🔥
me thinking: the fact that bong soon lost her powers and accepted it after realizing she was no longer strong or “special”, but when min hyuk was in danger of dying she cried out and asked for her powers back to save HIM not herself, and throughout the entire scene she begged him to leave in order to spare his life because she loved him so much and she never once begged him to help her or get her out since she cares more about the importance of others and is always putting them first, just like how she lost her powers in the first place while saving her best friend from a psychopathic murderer
me out loud: yeah I’m ok!
someone: are you sure?
me thinking again: min hyuk loved bong soon with her powers, when she lost her powers, and when she faced death, he stayed by her side so she didn’t feel alone, he told her to not be afraid and that he wouldn’t leave her side no matter what
min hyuk had no idea that it was possible for bong soon to regain her powers (and therefore dispose of the bomb) but he still stayed, his hands bled while trying to break the chains and through his tears he stayed calm so bong soon wouldn’t feel afraid as they were seconds from their deaths, he was 100% willing to die by her side without thinking twice
what she means:
WHAT THE FUCK FP WOULD LITERALLY TAKE THE BLAME FOR M U R D E R IN A HEARTBEAT TO PROTECT HIS SON HE TOLD JUGHEAD HE NEVER WANTED TO SEE HIM AGAIN AND LIED TO HIS FACE AND LET HIM THINK HE HAD BEEN PLAYING HIM ALL ALONG TO TRY AND MAKE JUG FEEL LIKE HIS DAD DESERVED TO BE PUT AWAY AND MAYBE WOULDN'T FEEL AS BAD IF HE THOUGHT FP WAS A SHITTY FATHER WHAT THE F U C K IM CRYING IN THE CLUB
A. What age do you usually regress to?
B. Do you use a bottle?
C. Do you have a caregiver?
D. Do you use diapers?
E. Favorite thing to eat?
F. Favorite fruit?
G. Favorite place to go when you feel little?
H. Something that makes you happy?
I. Favorite ice cream?
J. Favorite juice?
K. Are you a kitten or other pet?
L. Favorite thing about being little?
M. Favorite little space movie?
N. What’s your name?
O. How old are you?
P. Do you use pacifiers?
Q. A habit you wish you could quit?
R. Favorite nursery rhyme?
S. Favorite stuffie?
T. Favorite little space TV show?
U. Something unique about you?
V. Favorite veggie?
W. Where are you from?
X. (The best x word I can think of its xylophone so….) What’s your favorite instrument?
Y. Favorite time of year?
Z. Favorite animal to see at the zoo?
A- are you single?
D- did u get ur first kiss?
E- easiest person to talk to?
F- favorite song?
G- good at?
H- hair color?
I- in love?
J- jealous of?
K- known as?
L- longest relationship?
M- middle name?
O- one wish?
P- person last texted?
Q- question always asked?
R- reason to smile?
S- song last listened to
T- time you woke up?
U- 3 biggest wishes?
V- violent moment?
W- worst fear?
X- ex you still liked after it was ended?
Y- your last hug?
Z- zodiac sign?
alexander hamilton: HELLO YES HI THIS MUSICAL IS ALL ABOUT ME I AM THE STAR I AM WONDERFUL LOOK AT ALL THE COOL STUFF I DID WOW GO ME
aaron burr, sir: you’re an orphan? nice lets go mURDER THE GOVERNMENT (ft. drunk squad™)
my shot: im PAst patiently waitin im PASSionately SMAshin every expecTATion every ACTion’s an ACT of crEATion
the story of tonight: more drunk cuties
the schuyler sisters: FEMINISM GIRL POWER F U C K THE PATRIARCHY (ft. peggy bein a lil bitch)
farmer refuted: Sassy Ham™ (ft. dONT MODULATE THE KEY THEN NOT DEBATE WITH M E)
you’ll be back: king george iii is a psycho
right hand man: I HAVE THREE FRIENDS PICK ME
a winter’s ball: salty + creepy burr (ft. LAAAAaaaAaAaaaADIES)
helpless: ELIZA IS A PRECIOUS PURE CINNAMON ROLL D O N ’ T T O U C H H E R
satisfied: did somebody say bitter (ft. goosebumps)
the story of tonight (reprise): drunk and gay (reprise)
wait for it: burr has secrets™
stay alive: FUCK OFF CHARLES LEE
ten duel commandments: oKAY so we’re doing this
meet me inside: ham fucks up™
that would be enough: THE CINNAMON ROLL IS BACK AND SHE’S PREGNANT HAM COULD U N O T
guns and ships: lAFAYETTE
history has its eyes on you: gwash has Feelings™
yorktown (the world turned upside down): that one line @ trump tbh, HERCULES MULLIGAN
what comes next: oh no king george is just hella salty
dear theodosia: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
non-stop: HISTORY HAS ITSwhy do you assume you’re the smartest in the room why do you assume you’re the smartest in theNON-STOPhe will never be satisfiedISN’T THIS ENOUGHsatisfiedWHAT WOULD BE ENOUGH
what’d i miss: tjeffs is back from being a hoe in paris and he’s getting down to Business™ 😎
cabinet battle #1: FUCKN FIGHT ME ILL TAKE ANYONE — alexander hamilton, probably
take a break: spoiler! he doesn’t take a break (ft. UN DEUX TROIS QUATRE CINQQQQQQQQ)
say no to this: oh jesus what is that two letter word starting with n, ending with o, it has escaped my vocabulary completely
the room where it happens: so apparently aaron burr is Salt Personified™
schuyler defeated: bros don’t take other bros’ father in law’s senate seat wtf
cabinet battle #2: if u tie ur hair into a ponytail, u are a completely different person: confirmed
washington on your side: salty burr, jeffersalt, madisalt: the salthern motherfucking democratic republicans™
one last time: washington’s gone, thanks a lot jefferson
i know him: no it turns out that king george iii is actually a fCKN PSYCHOPATH
the adams admininistration: Great Googly Moogly, It’s All Gone To Shit™ (ft. sIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER)
we know: so burr’s shady as fuck
hurricane: hoe don’t do it (spoiler! he does it)
the reynolds pamphlet: how to fuck up your own life for no good reason — by alexander hamilton
burn: CINNAMON ROLL IS UPSET AND IT BREA K S Y O U
blow us all away: HE DIDNT MEAN LITERALLY ??¿ (ft. philip organising a threesome)
stay alive (reprise): count to ten in french after this without crying, i dare you
it’s quiet uptown: YOU KILLED YOUR S O N WHAT THE FUCK ALEXANDER CHILL
the election of 1800: alex likes causing drama. what a surprise(!)
your obedient servant: i have never talked shit about you. BUT IF I EVER DID here is a list of everything i said about you and when, it’s 30 years long, take your pick (ft. S A L T )
best of wives and best of women: he doesn’t go back to sleep
the world was wide enough: you done fucked up a-a-ron
who lives, who dies, who tells your story: eliza schuyler hamilton is an angelic cinnamon roll and the world does not deserve her, she singlehandedly made sure her idiot husband made history and she deserves more credit than she is given honestly (ft. your ugly crying)