[noah czerny voice] DICKY G! you just missed the CRAZIEST of crazies! ley lines. lightning. whelk. GLENDOWER? dying. ghost. coming here. crashing in your apartment cause [sings] technically i’m deeeeeaaaadddd!!!!
k i’m gonna need a TRC Netflix Original Series for the following reasons:
Blue’s wardrobe, done on a $10 budget and crafted exclusively from vintage home decor
Gansey’s wardrobe. you didn’t even know those colors existed. designer polo shirts are the show’s second-biggest expense (the first being cars, obviously)
how much loaded staring can we pack in between Ronan and Adam per episode
Blue passes Gansey her yogurt spoon and we cut to his inner screaming for a solid minute
every scene at 300 Fox Way has totally different female extras going about their business and doing random psychic rituals in the background so over the course of the series we get the impression that about 342 women live in this household
Ronan has a huge bird on his shoulder in almost every scene and not a single person reacts as if this is unusual
as the series progresses, his entourage expands to a pack of adorable animated woodland creatures. again, no one comments at all
Henry Cheng is That Guy. he has one line in the pilot. he keeps showing up at the most random of scenes just to drop a quip or two. viewers are like, hey, it’s That Guy again. it becomes a running gag. gradually his presence builds until we get to the TRK season and suddenly That Guy becomes Our Guy.
every time Adam walks into a room, it’s in slow motion, accompanied by bishie sparkle, jazz saxophone, and a gentle Cabeswater breeze ruffling his dusty hair
speaking of jazz sax, whenever Gansey asks someone, “What do you know about Welsh kings?” you can hear the solo from Careless Whisper playing softly in the background
time does not exist for Noah like it does for normal people. neither does the fourth wall
seriously he stares into the camera like he’s on The Office approximately four times per episode. at some point he gives up and just starts talking to the audience. these insights can be quite cute and funny except sometimes they’re cryptic as hell and sometimes there will be a random split-second shot of a skull super-imposed onto his face
in a special two-part episode Ronan and Adam brush hands and we cut to a solid ten minutes of Ronan’s internal screaming, which segues into a montage of explosions and burning oceans, hauntingly scored by Philip Glass, intercut with religious imagery and closeups of Adam’s knuckles. (the second half is Adam’s reaction)
I don’t get when people complain about fictional things having happy endings. Like, your favorite characters are alive! Your ships stayed together! The slow burn paid off! No one is in danger anymore! Everyone gets to live the happy life they deserve!
If I wanted something realistic and tragic, I’d read a book about the presidential election. Nope, let me live in a happy fictional world with my canonically alive faves, please and thank you.