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7. Meet Ava: Amber 2.0

We didn’t see too much of “good girl” Ava this week, but the bit we did see seems eerily similar to a star from Top Model past: Amber. Watch this video montage of Amber’s moments and I’m sure you’ll see some similarities:

One thing Ava lacks, though, is Amber’s legendary status. Does Ava have what it takes to become an ANTM icon? Let’s run through some critical categories:

Appreciating Jesus
Both girls scream out “Thank you, Jesus!” after advancing past a semifinal cut. Whereas Amber makes a scene and deftly avoids responding to Tyra’s question of whether she’d still love Jesus if she hadn’t been chosen, Ava immediately follows her celebration by taking the Lord’s name in vain. For shame, Ava!
Advantage: Amber

Both women have some amazing quotes about saving their hymen for Christ. It’s hard to choose between Amber’s “You’re supposed to have that burning sensation for your Lord Jesus instead of another man” and Ava’s “My motto is ‘keep your legs closed and your Bible open.’” When pressed, though, Amber admit that she did have sex before turning religious. Whore!
Advantage: Ava

Ava’s floral headwear is definitely the prettier accessory, but it is too reminiscent of hippies and free love for a chaste girl like Ava. Amber’s dumb floppy hat (it’s her grandmother’s and it’s lucky!) is such a bad choice for a modeling competition that you almost have to admire it.
Advantage: Amber

Amber is 5’6’… and one-quarter.
Ava is 5’5’’… and fabulous.
Being fabulous probably makes up for the inch Amber has on Ava, but how can she can contend with that extra one-quarter inch?
Advantage: Amber

Dance Moves
Ava’s bouncy dance moves are a little more conventional and less frightening than Amber’s, but does she dance for homeless people on Friday nights?! … That’s not a rhetorical question - does Ava? Until I have proof that Ava’s using her dancing to serve the lord’s will, she’s at a deficit.
Advantage: Amber

According to Amber, she “used to be a crazy girl,” but then toned it down when she found religion. If the Amber we saw on TV is “not-crazy Amber”… wow. As for Ava, she’s a self-described “cool Christian” who wants to inform people “that it’s okay to be a good girl and have fun.” If Amber’s fun days are behind her, it makes this choice easier. Besides, I’m not confident I could hang out with Amber and not want to kill myself — feeling you on that one, Bianca!
Advantage: Ava

Unique Poses
Ava looks pretty hot in her modeling shot, but that’s a pose you could already find in a magazine. When’s the last time you saw someone squat and stick out her arm like Amber? And who needs a picture frame when you can just frame your face with your arms? With bizarre poses like that, Amber is the future of modeling.
Advantage: Amber

Musical Talent
We might not have seen Ava play guitar, but she was holding one in her audition so I assume she has some sort of ability? Heck, even if she can barely strum a chord, by default, it almost has to be better than Amber’s off-key “Jesusssss, you are my best friend” song.
Advantage: Ava

Damn. Ava’s walk is on point and the hair flip is killer. What Amber lacks in skills, however, she makes up for by meowing. Now THAT’S a lady who understands modeling.

Total Score
Amber: 6
Ava: 3

Sorry, Ava, you’re trailing at this point. The good news, though, is that as long as you don’t mysteriously withdraw from the competition by episode two for unspecified “personal reasons,” you still have a chance to steal Amber’s crown… just don’t break it! Anyway, good luck with keeping that Bible open!