cyber flirting

2

more superhero au bc you’re worth it

- hanzo has the biggest crush on local baker, mccree
- vigilante has the biggest crush on local superhero cyber ninja
- the only one with a clue is genji who is frustrated as all heck bc ‘these two are so obvious wtf’
- hanzo is a fashion model and genji is sometimes his photographer, but bc theyre brothers, its usually assumed that theyre working together
- mccree catered for a shoot once and for some reason he quickly became their primary caterer

Mac has been catfishing the shit out of Dennis for YEARS. He’s been posing as various sexy, barely-legal chicks (and sometimes dudes) and cyber-flirting hardcore with Dennis over social media. Dennis’s most current online flirtation is with a made-up twunk-vers that Mac named Dennis. Dennis. They send each other dick pics and sext DAY. AND. FUCKING. NIGHT. It’s all a just big prank, of course. Mac’s just waiting for the right opportunity to drop the bomb on Dennis that all of his online dating game has been a scam.

6

Apparently I just spent the last thirty minutes “flirting” with my boyfriend by roleplaying a secretary who got the security guard to see him out and then I just started sending him pictures of the security guard closer and closer repeating the word “sir” over and over again.

This is how I flirt. 

When guys try to cyber flirt with me

my initial reaction: okay, maybe he’s just nice

my 2nd reaction: eww creeper

my 3rd reaction: ..no

my 4th reaction: stop, please stop…

Seriously, stop. Why can’t you get the hint? Save those lines for someone else. I don’t care if it’s the 21st century. No matter how advance our technology is, there shouldn’t be an excuse for hitting on people online . Moreover, never ever ask someone out online. If you’re interested in someone then that’s what hangouts are for. Girls like to have actual conversations and be taken out. It’s called “the chase” not “the typing.” Who wants a guy who thinks he has so much game behind a screen? If we wanted to read how beautiful we are we could always read One Direction lyrics. It’s super duper creepy and awkward when people we barely talk to call us “cutie” or type things like I wish I c0uld c ur bootiful smile rn.“

Not all girls are easy. Keep it classy, or next time I’m directing you to eHarmony.

fantastiqueolicity  asked:

MORE MORE MORE PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE (and you know I'm talking about Hacker AU).

(Parts one, two, three, and four)

The Doctor watched as Rose’s fingers flew over the keyboard, her eyes darting over the screen to make sure she didn’t make a mistake. She was testing his prototype security system, and while he was confident that it was ready, there wasn’t anything wrong with a second opinion.

“Did you mean to leave that back door in or are you getting sloppy?” Rose smirked as the files he had hidden appeared on her screen. “You forget that even after three weeks I’ve gotten to know your code pretty well.”

He pushed away from the wall and walked over. “That was purposely put in case this company tried to cheat me, I could always get my revenge. Once they pay me in full the back door is removed, which you can see is fixed here.” He leaned over her shoulder and pointed at a line of coding that Rose had highlighted. “And since you are so familiar with my code, only you could have spotted that.”

Rose looked at him, and he fought back a blush when realized how close they were. “Liar. You would never get rid of a back door. Even if it is for the FBI.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Who told you that?”

“No one.” She said, matter-of-factly. “I figured it out. I watch the news, you know, and they had a security snafu a few months back. Since it takes someone like you about that time to create a code like this, I did the math." 

The Doctor was impressed, but shrugged. “All right, you got me. Yes, I do freelance for intelligence organizations every so often. They don’t know who I really am, of course, but that backdoor allows me to enter and exit undetected. I don’t think I’ll ever really use it, though. Politics aren’t really my thing.”

Rose smiled. “Not very artistic, using a door when you can just hack?”

He grinned. “Exactly. It’s more entertaining hacking into Canada’s government system for the first time. They hid a polite letter in a very obvious spot requesting that I stop hacking because their government wouldn’t give me as much entertainment as, say, China or Russia. I laughed myself silly for an hour before leaving an apology. Sounded like the decent thing to do.”

"No wonder you’re much better than me,” Rose admitted. “I haven’t even gotten up the nerve to hack the police system.”

The Doctor turned off her laptop. “Your talent lies in defenses, Rose, that’s why I wanted you to look over mine.” He offered her his hand, helping her up from the chair. “One month, fifteen days, twelve hours and forty-two minutes. That’s how long it took me to figure out who you were. Ask me to find records of anyone else and I’ll find them in a matter of days. But you? You covered your tracks so well I was in awe. I know you think you’re here because I need an ego boost. That’s not true. You’re here because you’re good at what I am not. At first I wanted to tamp down the competition, learn your secrets and take them as my own. Now… well, now I want to help you shine.”

Rose stared at him, unable to think of a comeback; finally she managed to collect her thoughts. “I’ve been holding back,” she finally confessed. “I thought that if I didn’t live up to your expectations you would get bored with me. I didn’t just see that back door, I saw eight other weak spots that I could exploit. But the longer I stay here the more I want to stay, because I meant it when I said you make this an artform. I’ll never be a good enough hacker, but if you want I can be the best back-up.”

The Doctor cupped her cheek with his free hand, the other one still tangled with hers. “This is going to be the start of a beautiful partnership,” he said.

Rose knew, in her heart, that he was right.